June 14th, 9:25 AM.

"I'm right here baby. Right here for whatever you need," Elliot whispered softly as they were sitting in the guest bed together, Liv writing in her dream diary with her trembling right hand and he was steadily stroking her hair.

"K-Keep doing what your doing El it helps. I-I didn't realize doing this would be this hard."

He sighed softly "the first time's the hardest it gets a little easier though."

She nodded slightly "i-it's just so many dreams, so many horrible scenarios that I don't wanna even be thinking about b-but I'm having to write all of them out and y-you die in them all and"-

"I know baby I know, I'm safe though I promise I'm safe and right here with you."

She nodded slightly "I-I know," she whispered as she then sighed and continued writing "you know if you don't wanna write any more you don't have to," he said softly.

She sighed "yes I do my homework from him was to get this done and I don't want him to get the impression that I don't care about my recovery."

"If he thinks that then we'll get a new therapist," he said tenderly.

Olivia nodded slightly "shit I didn't use a key yet either El and I was supposed to this isn't gonna be good..."

"I didn't write anything in my rage diary either, not one single word so we'll face it together okay? And like I said if he gets upset with us, you especially then we'll just find someone else to talk to."

Olivia nodded her head, hugged him then closed the notebook "me and you are a couple rebels aren't we El," she said as she smiled slightly.

"Damn right we are and I wouldn't have it any other way," he said as just then Izzabella approached the bed "you said a bad word daddy," she said.

Elliot chuckled "I guess I did. You better not have been listening to our private talk though I've told you about that," he said as he pulled her onto the bed with them and ruffled her hair.

Izzabella shook her head a few times and Olivia smiled "I saw her walk in she only heard the one sentence."

Elliot smiled, nodded then kissed Izzabella's head "what's up baby?" he asked knowing she came in for a reason.

"I'm hungry," she said with a smile.

Elliot nodded "how about we fix you something to eat then," he said.

She nodded "can I have waffles?"

"Absolutely," he said with a smile remembering his promise he had made the day before as they got off the bed and headed downstairs to eat.

10:45 AM.

"Are you nervous at all about seeing doctor More?" Olivia asked El as they were in the shower together and he was washing her hair.

He smiled "not at all are you?"

"Not really I'm more excited to be honest I want this cast off."

Elliot nodded "I hate to be a downer but you know it's possible he might not take it off yet it hasn't been four weeks."

"Please don't say that I have to have it off," she whispered.

"Sorry baby you know I want that too because I see how important it is to you," he said tenderly.

She nodded slightly and leaned into him a little more as he rinsed the shampoo out "I think they're gonna draw your blood today El I prey everything comes back normal."

"It will baby I feel completely fine it's just a standard physical I don't want you worrying about that okay?"

"That's a hard ask El..."

"I know it is baby but I'm healthy always have been and I will be today too."

"God I hope so," she whispered as they got out of the shower and he kissed her gently before they finally focused on drying off "what do you wanna wear today honey?" he asked after a couple minutes.

"Something nice, comfortable and not revealing," she said as he nodded "alright I'll go pick out a few choices for you and bring them in here," he said knowing she wasn't comfortable going in their bedroom yet.

"Thank you El," she said with a slight smile as after he nodded and stepped out she sat down on the toilet lid and waited.

A little while passed of them trying outfits as she finally settled on a 3 quarter sleeve shirt which showed no cleavage with a sports bra underneath and a pair of blue genes "you look great baby," he said with a smile as he dressed into his blue genes , button down shirt and Marines hat.

"Thanks El you do too," she said as he then smiled and blow-dried her hair "You ready to say bye to the girls and head out?" she asked once he was through as it was right around noon.

"I am," he said nodding as she nodded and they headed down "Lizzie honey are you sure that you're okay watching her?" Elliot asked for the 5th time that morning.

"Yeah dad I promise you I am we'll just play in here or outside and I'll load her up with all the grape popsicles she wants," she said as she said the last part teasingly.

Elliot chuckled "if you do that and she's sick all night you'll be the one cleaning up the throw up," he said also teasingly.

Lizzie chuckled then her face grew serious "I learned from the donut incident I promise I'll only let her have a couple of them."

"I know you did Lizzie, they're small so she can have 3 throughout the day but that's it."

"I understand," she said as she nodded with a smile "me and daddy have to go to town for the day and you and Lizzie are gonna hang out here so I need you to be good for her okay?" Olivia told Izzabella with a soft motherly smile.

"Okay," she said as Liv smiled and nodded "I love you baby," she said as she hugged her with her right arm then kissed her cheek.

"Love you too mommy," she said as once her and Elliot exchanged goodbye hugs too the adults left.

12:56 PM.

"Looks like the lights are off," Olivia said through a sigh as they parked.

Elliot nodded "it's the end of their lunch hour," he said as he held her hand in his gently and stroked her knuckles with his thumb.

Olivia nodded and sighed "hey at least we'll be able to get in and out," he said with a smile looking at the up side.

"True," she said nodding her head "you wanna go stand by the door and wait?"

"May as well it'll only be 3 minutes," he said as they got out of the car, walked up the sidewalk and to the door then stood there side by side.

At 1:01 the lights came on and Elliot opened the door right away "hello Elliot long time no see!" a bald man in his 50's said greeting him.

"Walter! Hey!" he said as he gave him a friendly smile and a firm handshake "it has been a while."

Walter nodded "we gonna trade more war stories while you wait?"

Elliot shook his head as he looked to Liv with a soft smile "ah you and your girl came in together today! That's great!" he said as Elliot nodded with the same soft smile and they walked together to the front desk.

"He's a character isn't he," Olivia said with a smile as they silently signed in.

Elliot nodded "he is, he's a good guy though just super intense and loud."

Olivia nodded then smiled reassuringly "don't let me get in the way of your routine here I can tell that you're friends with him so if you wanna talk war stories with him go ahead I'll either chime in with you or read a magazine."

"Only if you're sure," he said and she nodded "I am El," she said as he nodded and they sat in chairs side by side by the door.

Walter and Elliot didn't talk war but they did talk, loudly about other things as Walter was in the process of telling Elliot a graphic animated story about an elderly patient.

"It was terrible man! Terrible! I mean you know I can't say names because of that hypa crap but there was vomit all in the floor, with me being the janitor an all I was trying to clean it up and the next thing I knew she didn't see me there and I had vomit covering my face, neck and head!"

"That's awful she must have felt terrible," Elliot said as Walter shook his head "she didn't! She didn't know!" he said as he moved his arms around animatedly.

Elliot nodded "Izzabella, our daughter's been sick quite a bit here lately and things like that happened to us more times than I can count, god we had to throw away so many sheets!"

"I bet! That must have really pissed you off."

Elliot shook his head with a soft smile "nothing any of my kids do can ever truly piss me off," he said as Olivia nodded and looked up from her magazine "he's an amazing father," she commented.

Walter nodded "I bet he is," he said as as he was about to go into another story the door to the back opened "Mr. and Mrs. Stabler!" a nurse called.

"Well that's us!" Elliot said with a slight smile as he and Olivia stood and looped arms "it was good seeing you Walter."

"You too Elliot!" he said as as they walked back Olivia saw the receptionist take something for a headache "I don't think he realizes how loud he gets," she whispered.

Elliot chuckled slightly "true but it does have it's perks they get annoyed at us so they let me go back faster."

"Hints how you were home with in 2 hours last time," she said as she smiled "I like the way you think."

Elliot just chuckled and kissed her temple as they walked through the door which lead to triage "what brings you two in today?" the older of the two nurses which were with them asked.

"I'm here to get my cast removed he just needs his standard physical," Olivia said.

The nurse nodded "you're due for your physical too ma'am so why don't we take care of that too while you're here?"

"I guess so as long as it's quick we have another appointment today at 3."

"It will be," she said as she gave her a reassuring smile "can you stand on the scale?"

Olivia nodded and stood on it while the younger nurse checked Elliot's blood pressure "your blood pressure is 135 over 96 which is a little high."

Elliot nodded "are family's going through a stressful time right now," he said simply.

She nodded as Liv and El switched spots "your blood pressure is also 135 over 96," she said after a couple minutes as Olivia and Elliot chuckled "that figures," Elliot said.

The nurses both just smiled "why aren't you picking on us today Elliot?" the older one asked as she checked his temperature which read 98.9.

"Cuz I'm in a different kind of mood today," he said as he gave Olivia a soft smile and the nurse nodded knowingly "I'm so sorry about what happened to you it's terrible I saw the news," she told Liv.

Olivia just nodded her head slightly not wanting to get herself into that headspace as the nurse nodded understanding "your temp is 98.4," the younger nurse said.

Olivia nodded her head "are we putting them both in room five or do they go in separate rooms Judy?" the younger nurse asked.

"We'll put them in the same room Makayla, when did you break your wrist Mrs. Stabler?"

"May 23rd," Olivia said as Elliot walked over and rubbed her shoulder.

Judy nodded "I'll speak with Dr. More. He'll probably want us to X-ray your wrist to see if the bones have healed usually casts stay on from anywhere between 4 and 6 weeks and it's only been a little over 3."

Olivia sighed "I understand but I really need it off badly it's really important."

"I'll talk to Dr. More hun but that's really all I can do, Mr. Stabler are you currently taking any medications?"

Elliot shook his head and Judy nodded "which pharmacy do you guys use?"

"Cvs," they said in unison and she smiled and nodded "okay follow me," she said as she lead them to room 5.

"Baby why do you need the cast off so bad?" Elliot asked once the nurses were gone.

"Just do," she said and Elliot frowned "there has to be a reason?"

Olivia nodded "there is," she said.

Elliot nodded "what is it?"

"I can't tell you that," she said softly.

Elliot's frown became deeper "why not?"

"I just can't. Do you trust me honey?"

"Of course I do," he said softly but with a concerned look in his eyes.

Olivia nodded but before she could say anything the nurses came in "we're gonna do your blood draws now," Judy said.

Olivia tensed a good bit "I-I didn't consent to any blood draw nothing was said about you needing that."

"It's part of a standard physical for women at your age hun," Judy said and Olivia tried hard to control her breathing "she ate this morning you might not get an accurate reading," Elliot said quickly trying to get her out of it.

"It'll be fine for the things we need to test for. Did you eat as well?"

"I did. Listen though I'm not gonna let you guys force blood work on her if she doesn't want it done you're not drawing it."

"Sir she consented to the physical and this is part of the physical."

"I understand that but still," he said as Olivia finally gave a shaky nod of the head "i-it's fine El," she whispered.

"Are you sure? They can't force you to do this if you don't want to baby," he said softly.

"I-I'm sure if they don't do it today they'll just do it some other time so may as well get it over with right?" she said as she chuckled nervously.

Elliot nodded his head although he saw right through her attempt to mask her nervousness "here baby," he whispered as he walked over and let her grip his hand.

"We need your blood to Elliot," Judy said as he nodded "you can have it after you guys get hers."

She nodded then looked to Makayla "alright are you ready for this?"

Makayla nodded nervously "this is her first time drawing blood so you'll just have to bare with her," Judy said.

Elliot nodded "I see, she can draw mine I want you to draw Olivia's," he said as Olivia gave him a grateful look.

"Okay sure," Judy said with a slight smile as thankfully Olivia's blood was drawn and her blood sugar was checked without tears shed "your blood sugar is 95 which is normal," she told her as Elliot was still holding her hand and stroking her hair.

"T-That's good," Liv said as Makayla got things ready for Elliot "which one do you want me to do first?" she asked him.

"Doesn't matter," he said kindly as he dropped Liv's hand but continued stroking her hair "should we switch spots so you can work?" Olivia asked.

"Please," Makayla said and Olivia moved so El could sit on the bed "you can sit beside me if you want to baby," he said.

"There's not enough room it's okay," she said with a smile as she went and sat in the chair he had been in before "your blood sugar is a bit high Mr. Stabler, 121," Makayla said once his sugar had been checked as Judy frowned "have you been tested for diabetes?"

"I don't have diabetes I'm sure it's just a fluke," Elliot said as Liv now wore a worried expression.

"It could be but we'll have to tell Dr. More, he may want you to be tested for it," Judy said as Makayla began looking for a vain on Elliot's arm.

"If he wants to test me for it fine but he'll just be wasting his time and my blood cuz I don't have it."

"El," Olivia whispered and his expression softened "I'm fine baby I don't have diabetes."

"But wouldn't it be better to be safe than sorry?"

"I'm not refusing the test honey I'm just saying I don't have it," he said as he sat completely still, expression neutral as he felt Makayla digging for a vain.

"I-I hope you don't have it I've heard it's horrible El."

"It is but I've had a lot of coffee here lately I know that's what this is."

"I hope you're right," she whispered as she then frowned again a few minutes later at the fact that Makayla was still digging "El is a human with feelings not a doll in your nursing class."

"I know," Makayla said as Elliot just smiled at her reassuringly "Mrs. Stabler why don't I take you for your wrist X-ray?" Judy suggested.

Elliot gave her another reassuring smile and she sighed and nodded "okay but only because we can't be late for our appointment," she said as she stood up and went with her.

About 10 minutes later Olivia was back in the room and thankfully Makayla had finished and left "El honey are you okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine I promise sweetheart," he said as he scooted over on the table hoping to give her enough room to sit down.

Olivia got the hint and tried to squeeze up there "I really don't know if there's enough room El."

After a minute more of them attempting it and it not working he nodded and they switched places again as this time Elliot pulled the chair up beside the bed "did you have any discomfort while she took your X-ray?" he asked as he stroked her hair.

"No none," she said with a slight smile.

He nodded "that's really good baby," he said with a smile.

Olivia nodded and they grew quiet both letting their thoughts take over as at around 1:45 there was a light tap on the door then it opened "well hello there lovebirds!" Dr. More said with a smile.

"Hi," they said in unison as he chuckled "which one of you wants to go first?"

"Doesn't matter," they said as he just chuckled again "okay then you can go first Olivia since you're already on the bed."

"Okay," she said nodding and Elliot scooted his chair out of the way some "I'm gonna listen to your heart and lungs alright?" he said.

Olivia nodded and took deep breaths when he told her to "your lungs sound clear," he said as he then tapped her knee to test her reflexes "and your reflex is very strong."

Olivia smiled "that's great. How about my cast though? I really need it off."

The doctor nodded "I reviewed your wrist X-ray and I'm sorry but it still has a little ways to go in terms of healing and I'm not comfortable removing it quite yet."

Olivia frowned and looked him in the eye "doctor More you really don't understand. I-I really need it off and it doesn't even hurt anymore."

"Maybe it doesn't but that's because you're not using it. If we remove your cast right now and you begin moving your wrist you will feel pain there."

Olivia sighed as her face crumpled "Mrs. Stabler I'm very sorry I know this isn't what you wanted to hear"-

"Damn right it isn't!" she snapped as Elliot frowned "baby what's going on?"

"Sunday, Sunday is father's day Elliot! Me and the kids had this huge plan to surprise you and now we can't do any of it because he won't take my damn cast off!"

I should have known that's what this was he thought to himself as he made his way over to the bed and wrapped his arms around her "you guys don't have to do anything for me baby, not anything just knowing that you guys love me is enough for me," he whispered.

"I-I know that's how you feel that's all the reason why you deserve more. Y-You do things for others all the time Elliot don't you think that it would be nice for us to surprise you once and a while?"

"Of course I do baby and I'd appreciate and welcome it but you should never do it at the expense of your own health..."

Olivia just sighed heavily and the doctor looked to them "I'm sorry to interrupt your moment but I really need to finish these exams."

Elliot said nothing and continued hugging her close to him "it's okay baby it really is," he whispered and she finally pulled away from him with a resigned look and they switched places so he could be examined.

"I'm really sorry," More said again and Olivia just nodded "it's fine," she whispered and he then focused on Elliot.

"So your chart here says you have a high blood sugar score today have you been feeling any strange symptoms such as unusual fatigue, tingling in your feet or hands or unusual changes in vision?"

Elliot shook his head "I told the nurses it was just a fluke I've been drinking a bunch of coffee and stuff like that here lately."

More nodded "Either way though I'd like you to come in next Friday for an a1c that'll tell us for sure," he said as he then went about checking his lungs, heart and reflexes.

"Fine I will but you guys are really wasting your time," he said as More nodded "Mrs. Stabler I'd like to see you back here next Friday as well we'll do another X-ray on your wrist and maybe we can take the cast off then."

"Okay," she said nodding and he smiled slightly "Mr. Stabler make sure you don't eat anything twelve hours before coming in for the test alright?"

"Okay," Elliot said as he stood from the bed "have a nice rest of your day sir."

"You as well, both of you," he said as Olivia and Elliot smiled slightly then stepped out of the room arm and arm.

"We need appointments for next Friday please," Elliot said once they were at the counter.

"Morning or afternoon?" May asked.

"Morning please," he said and she nodded "does 11 AM work?"

Elliot glanced at Olivia who nodded her head "yes ma'am," he said with a slight smile.

"Alright I'll set it up," she said as she handed them their appointment cards a minute later and they walked away together "bad appointment?" Walter asked seeing that Liv looked a little sad.

"Could have gone better," she said and he nodded "one of you sick?"

Olivia sighed wary of talking about this stuff to a relative stranger "we're fine Walter, see you next week," Elliot said.

"Alright man sorry it went bad."

"Could've been worse, bye Walter," he said and they left then "we have 50 minutes till we have to see Lindstrom what do you wanna do?" he asked Liv softly.

"I'd love to just sit with you somewhere peaceful," she said and he nodded "how does Central park sound?"

"That sounds amazing El," she said as he nodded and they got in to the truck and drove off.

2:25 PM.

"You have a small saw in your shop right?" she asked quietly after being silent for a few minutes as they were sitting on a bench at the park and his arm was wrapped gently around her side.

"Yeah," he said softly and her eyes darted to her cast then back to him "I'm not using it on you though," he said adamantly as he had caught where her gaze went.

"El I really need it off and I trust you," she said seriously.

He sighed "I know you trust me and that means a lot to me but I don't have the kind of saw that we'd need and even if I did I'm not a medical professional and it's to risky I'm sorry honey."

Olivia sighed "I'm sure we could find the instructions on the internet though and I really need it off the girls are so excited about what we planned and they can't do it by themselves."

"Baby... Baby baby if you guys feel the need to do whatever this is this badly just wait a week and we'll celebrate father's day next Sunday I'm sure I'd enjoy whatever it is just as much then."

She sighed "maybe you would but it wouldn't be the same for them and you know it."

Elliot nodded "maybe it wouldn't but they'll just have to understand I'd never forgive myself if I tried to do this and accidentally hurt you baby."

Olivia nodded slightly and sighed letting what he said sink in "a-alright El, a-alright I'll keep it on until Friday," she whispered not wanting to put that responsibility on his shoulders.

"You're making the right decision Liv thank you," he said as he then took his phone from his pocket "I'm gonna call and make our anniversary reservation," he said as he rubbed her hip.

Liv nodded her head and let it rest gently on his shoulder as they enjoyed the breeze "thank you for choosing Carmines this is Chelsea speaking," he heard after 3 rings.

"Chelsea high I need to make a reservation for two please," he said, joy in his voice as he smiled at Liv fondly.

"What's the name for it?"

"Stabler, Elliot Stabler," he said.

"Okay when do you need it for?"

"June 26th please it'll be mine and my wife's third anniversary and I want it to be special for her."

"I'm sorry we're closed that Wednesday," she said simply.

Elliot sighed heavily "you can't be serious..."

"I'm sorry. Listen we can get you in on the 24th if you'd like to come then."

"That's not our anniversary though it's not something I can just..."

"I'm sorry sir but we won't be open on the 26th if you have to do it on the 26th you'll have to call somewhere else."

"For the love of all things holy why can't one thing go right this spring?" he muttered shaking his head.

"Sir do you want the reservation or not?"

Elliot glanced to Olivia who had heard the end of the conversation and she nodded her head "alright yeah we'll take it what times do you have available?"

"6 PM, 6:30 PM or 7 PM."

"We'll take 7," Elliot said.

"Alright see you then," she said as the call ended and he sighed "now you see how I feel," Liv whispered.

Elliot just nodded slightly "these last two months have just been hard huh," he said softly.

"The hardest of my life," she whispered.

He nodded "well we've got each other and we love each other that'll get us through anything."

"Yes it will," she said with a soft smile as they spent the rest of their time before the appointment relaxed.

3:06 PM.

"Shit we're late damn Manhattan traffic!" Elliot said as he parked in the first parking spot they found.

Olivia nodded "it was definitely a nightmare I like driving in Queens more."

"Me too baby, me too," he said as they got out together then quickly signed in.

"Dr. Lindstrom's waiting for you in his office," Patricia said.

"Thank you ma'am," Elliot said as they went to his office door and knocked "come in," Lindstrom called.

Elliot opened the door and they walked in arm and arm "sorry we're late," he said as they sat down on the couch together.

"That's okay I'm honestly just glad you're here at all I missed you last week."

Elliot nodded "sorry about that we were in Chicago longer than expected and we had some things we needed to do that day."

Lindstrom nodded "I see did you guys enjoy yourselves while you were there? See any more parks or attractions?"

They both sighed in unison "the trip was definitely an experience I don't see us ever wanting to go back," Elliot responded.

"Why's that?" Lindstrom enquired.

"I ended up becoming really sick and had to be hospitalized," Olivia said.

"What was wrong if you don't mind me asking?"

She sighed "I had a severe case of cellulitis."

He nodded "that must have been really scary for the both of you."

"I don't remember most of it," she said and Elliot nodded "we got through it."

"It's okay to feel emotions Elliot bottling them up inside isn't healthy you know that."

He nodded and sighed "it was scary yes, very scary actually but a psychologist in Chicago helped me out and we got through it."

Lindstrom nodded his head "did you guys bring your diaries in today?"

"I brought mine yes," Olivia said pulling it out of their bag.

Lindstrom nodded "why don't we have a look at it?"

"Okay," she said as she sighed a little and opened it "I want you to glance through all of the dreams that you've written out and tell me if any of them have similar themes," Lindstrom instructed.

"I don't need to read them to answer that question El dies in every dream."

"It's always him? Never you?"

"Never me," she said as he nodded "how does he die?"

"L-Lewis kills him in some way every time."

Lindstrom nodded as Elliot stroked her hair soothingly "how does he look right before he dies?"

"I-It depends on the dream. Why does this matter?"

"It could help me understand why you're having these dreams," he said and she nodded slightly "m-most of the time he's unafraid, faces it head on."

"Most of the time?"

Olivia nodded "h-he looked afraid when we were in the maize."

"What maize?"

Olivia sighed "a few nights ago I dreamt that he shot him non-fatally then made us walk around in circles in a maize full of dead ends."

"Did Elliot die in the maize?"

"Yes I-I woke up right after it happened."

Lindstrom nodded "why do you think that you're having these dreams?"

"I-I don't know last time we were here you said I have a deeply rooted fear of losing him but I don't think that's true."

"Maybe it isn't consciously," he said as Elliot still gently stroked her hair "you're never gonna lose me baby, never ever ever I promise," he whispered.

"I know," she responded softly and Lindstrom frowned "but do you though?"

"Of course I do," she said adamantly.

"But things happen every day that our beyond our control. What if Elliot dropped you off at home, left to get groceries then crashed the car and died? Or what if he was shot or contracted cancer or"-

Fear flitted across Olivia's face and Elliot cut in "you're scaring her doc I'm fine," he said through a deep frown.

"That's not my intent," he said as Olivia then looked to him a minute later "I'm not getting your point anyway everybody with a heart and normal brain worries about that stuff to some extent."

"Yes they do but you're having debilitating nightmares, nightmares which are impacting your everyday life and I want to figure out why."

"I think it's because she knows deep down in her heart that it was almost a reality," Elliot whispered and Lindstrom nodded "can you elaborate on that a little more?"

Elliot nodded "any other day me and our daughter Izzabella would have been home. The only reason why we weren't was because of that damn doctors appointment and as guilty as I feel that I wasn't there now after having a couple private conversations with Liv and learning about these nightmares I can't help but feel relieved b-because I don't know if she would've been able to handle it."

"I-I don't remember ever talking to you about that," Olivia whispered.

"You were in the ICU sweetheart I'll explain more in private," he whispered and she nodded her head "Olivia can I ask you a hypothetical question?" Lindstrom asked.

"Yeah," Olivia said and Lindstrom nodded "hypothetically what do you think that you would do if 1 of these fears came true?" He asked genuinely concerned.

"I-It would depend on if Izzabella died too," she whispered.

"Okay lets say she didn't?"

"I-I would take care of her the best I could with a shattered heart."

"And if she did?"

"I-I don't know..." she whispered heavily.

Lindstrom frowned slightly "I feel like you do know."

Olivia sighed "I know what I think I'd do b-but I don't know how I'd react in the moment, I-I don't wanna talk about this anymore," she whispered as Elliot pulled her closer to him and rubbed her back gently.

Lindstrom nodded slightly and moved the conversation along "Olivia on the night that you had seven nightmares was your day abnormally stressful?"

"We had Lewis's preliminary hearing that day," Elliot said and Liv nodded "did you have any nightmares last night Olivia?"

"No I slept well."

He nodded "I think that the hearing is what caused you to have so many nightmares in one night but I don't think that it was what caused the dreams to be what they were I really think the two of us should have some private sessions that way we can address your fears and you can answer all of my questions."

"I see no reason to wallow through those fears with you like you said earlier flukes happen which are beyond our control but they're just that, flukes. Lewis is in Rikers El and Izzabella weren't hurt and the more I think about it the worse I feel."

"And the further you fall when you finally crash I bet?"

Olivia just nodded and Lindstrom sighed seeing they were growing limited on time "Elliot lets focus on you for a moment did you bring your diary in today?"

He shook his head "I haven't started on it yet."

"Can you tell me why?"

Elliot sighed "I've been busy fixing our house up we've been home for a week and we've babysat Olivia's partners daughter a lot."

"Going home after what happened there was a really big step towards healing how are you guys adjusting?"

"I think we're doing pretty well all things considered."

"That's great are you able to relax while you're there?"

"Yeah for the most part I do my checks at night, make sure the doors are locked at all times but that's it."

"Checks?"

"Yeah I check all the rooms and closets, make sure they're empty."

He nodded "and if they weren't empty what would you do?"

"It would depend on which room I was checking and who I saw there."

"Lets say someone was there who shouldn't be there."

"Then I'd unload my 9 millimeter on them. All 17 rounds," he said as his phone began ringing "I'm sorry doc I need to check this it could be my daughter."

Lindstrom nodded and began jotting down some notes "Stabler."

"Yeah that sounds great Don Ribeyes are Izzabella's favorite."

"Yeah we should be home by then if not Amaro has a key or Lizzie can let you in."

Elliot chuckled "no no not at all cap I just haven't seen you since we were back home you'll get yours tonight."

He chuckled again "yeah Fin and Munch will too don't worry!"

His expression then softened "she's doing much better thank you for asking."

"Yeah alright we'll bring the beer. No vodka," he said sternly.

"I'm glad you understand, listen I need to go we're in the middle of an appointment."

"Alright mmhmm I'll let her know cap, see you in a while," he said as he then hung up "Cap's gonna grill ribeyes, Munch is bringing paper plates, Rollins and Amaro have dessert, Fin has soft drinks and me and you are in charge of bringing the beer."

"Okay I think we can manage that," she said with a slight smile and Lindstrom finished his notes "sounds like this is a very organized party."

"I wouldn't call it a party it'll be more of a calm gathering but it definitely is I've learned over my years the more organized events are the smoother they go."

Olivia nodded in agreement "you should have seen Izzabella's last birthday party it was a nightmare."

Elliot nodded "people were late nobody was helping each other out... It was a few people running around like chickens with our heads cut off. Several people came but contributed nothing at all."

Lindstrom nodded "chaos really bothers you doesn't it?"

"It does the discipline I learned in the Marines has always sorta stuck with me," he said and Olivia nodded "I've always just been a really orderly person as well by nature so anything we plan together ends up this way."

"I see. We only have about 10 minutes left today so I wanna start wrapping this up. Elliot about what you said earlier involving your gun since you have a small daughter I have to ask do you keep your gun loaded?"

"I do but it's locked away unless either me or Liv have it and if we ever do we never let her touch it."

"Okay good. When you do these checks can you tell me what state of mind you're in? Do you ever see things or people that aren't really there for example?"

"No never I'm alert but calm," he said as Olivia nodded "he's able to hold conversations I've never once feared for our safety."

"Okay that's good, your need to do this should fade over time but if it doesn't please let me know. Olivia how did holding a key go?"

"I haven't held one yet..."

Lindstrom frowned "how are you getting in and out of the house then?"

"Once El let me in but usually we walk in and out together so."

Lindstrom nodded his head and Elliot looked to him "her key's in her wallet for whenever she feels ready to use it I'm just not rushing her what we're doing works for us."

"I see. I do encourage you to do it soon though so you can take your next steps towards healing you start back to work in five weeks and by then you'll be facing guns, violent offenders, strangers and handcuffs again so I really feel that taking slow steps is a good idea."

"I-I only have five weeks left? God I didn't realize..."

"That's right," he said as Elliot cut in "technically that's what's on your file but Cragen will give you as much time as you need all you'll have to do is ask baby."

She nodded slightly at the both of them "I'd like to see you both here again next week," Lindstrom said.

"Okay," they said as they nodded and stood together "Elliot can I talk to you alone? Just for a moment?" Lindsstrom asked.

"Yeah," he said as Olivia walked to the door "I'll meet you in the lobby El."

"Okay baby," he said with a smile and when she was gone Lindstrom glanced at him "I want you to start pushing her just a tiny bit more Elliot."

"I'm not gonna push her at all didn't you tell her to go at her own pace with all this?"

"I did... And maybe push is the wrong word I just want you to encourage her a bit more. Stop giving her outs and help her regain some of her normalcy back."

Elliot sighed "how am I supposed to do that?"

Lindstrom kept facing him unfazed by his frustration "when you guys are in the situation to unlock your home or your car do you just automatically do it?"

"Yeah, yeah I do I figure when she's ready she'll just do it."

"But will she though? She seems to allow you to take the lead from everything I've observed."

"We lead our household together," he said adamantly.

"Maybe you do I'm just saying you should consider slowing down a little and giving her the opportunity to try and do it on her own."

"But i'm afraid if I hesitate she'll read into it. Think that I'm rushing her into it when I'm not."

"I get what you're saying it's just something to consider."

"I'll keep it in mind doc. Have a nice afternoon we'll see you next week," he said with a smile as he left the office then met Liv in the lobby to begin their evening.