ok, so here is chapter 5. i dont know what i think about it. at first i didnt like it at all. but my great beta,drgnqn, said such nice things to me about it that maybe it isnt so bad afterall...

i'll let you be the judge of that...you can leave your final verdict using the"review" button...

After getting off the phone with Grissom, Sara sat next to Giadia and offered her a gentle smile.

"Giadia, that was Griss-uh Gil, and he asked me to make arrangements for you at a nearby hotel. It's actually very nice. So, uh…" Sara signed awkwardly to the crying woman. Only this news seemed to make the situation worse, and her tears kept coming.

"Uh, what's wrong?" Sara questioned half-signing, half-speaking.

"I hate staying in hotels. They either ignore me entirely and I can't understand what they are saying or they treat me like a baby and make someone follow me around talking really slow and stupid." She sniffed, trying to regain composure. She looked up at Sara and tried, unsuccessfully, to smile.

The eyes. Those damn Grissom eyes. Blue eyes, which she could just swim in, grabbing the attention of her heart. And they wouldn't let go. Eyes that filled her dreams, her fantasies. Soft blue that seemed to hold memories of sadness and pain, but seemed to glow when happiness. That glow was rare now. Sara used to get it every time she entered the room with Grissom in it. Little did she know that the glow was still there, it was just hidden. Those Grissom eyes, which Sara had only known in her boss, now shown in his mother.

"Uh, Mrs.Grissom, I doubt you could get very comfortable here, but if you would like, um, you could stay here, with me." Sara couldn't believe that she had just offered that. Those eyes could make you say crazy things.

Giadia Grissom smiled a big, though still teary, smile. "I always figured you were a sweet girl. Thank you."

00

Sara ordered out for dinner and sat at the television with Giadia for dinner. The TV couldn't even mask the awkward empty silence between the two.

Mrs. Grissom loved her son very much, but they were polar opposites. While he was closed and introverted, she was boisterous and outgoing. While he preferred bugs or the dead to the living, she was a people person. So, she decided she was going to break the silence. And in a big way.

"He loves you, you know."

Sara started choking on her lo mein. Coughing and sputtering, trying to get the offensive noodle out of her throat, she ran to her kitchen for a drink. Returning, she tried to comprehend what her guest had just said, "Excuse me?"

"He loves you deary. My son. He loves you."

"Uh, Grissom? No, uh, you've got it wrong. He doesn't love me." she snorted, "By no stretch of the imagination does he love me. He can barely stand having me in the same room as him. And I don't really want to discuss this…"

"Sweetheart, that's because he loves you. My Gil, he has control issues. He can't stand it when he is not in control because he doesn't know how to trust anyone. He can't have you around because he has no control over you, or himself when you are there."

"Control issues?" Sara said, her voice raising, he temper growing. Whenever Sara got this way she said or did something stupid, but she couldn't help herself. "Control issues? I supposed that's the reason he screwed that dominatrix then?" Realizing what she just said, Sara's hand flew up to her mouth. 'Oh god. I just said that. Oh, god what was I thinking?'

But, instead of getting angry, Mrs.Grissom just chuckled, "So you love him too? You don't get that mad about something if you don't care a whole bunch. And yes, I know about Heather. After that night, he called me up and we discussed it. Sad, I know, that an almost 50-year-old man calls up his mother to talk about having relations with a woman he doesn't love. But you're avoiding the question Sara, do you love Gil?"

And for some reason, Sara actually answered truthfully. Maybe because she trusted Mrs.Grissom. Maybe because she liked what the woman was saying. Maybe because she missed that maternal figure to comfort you and listen to your secrets.

"I'm trying not to."

Giadia reached over and grabbed Sara's hand, squeezing it. "Honey, never try to not love somebody. Never ever, because I can't think of any greater injustice than trying not to feel something that you do. So, don't give up on him. I know he cares about you Sara, make a move, you're irresistible in his eyes."

"I have. Dead end. Now, please, new topic?"

"Well, that I did not know… I'm sorry Sara; I never thought he would be able to say no to you. Did he say why?"

'Why won't this lady leave me alone? It's bad enough Griss turned me down, now his mother is interrogating me about it!' "He said I'm not worth the risk."

"WHAT!"

"Well, he didn't really say it to my face, I overheard him. His job is more important to him than I could ever possibly be. And now that I have said too damn much, I am going to bed before I humiliate myself further. Good night." Sara stood up, looking flustered.

"Wait! Sweety, come sit back down and I promise I won't bring it up again. Did Gil ever tell you about the time he let some of his spiders loose in the women's bathroom at the mall…"