Pandect: After some work I finally got Sanzo to take therapy (fan girls stare 'wtf?') Yay!
Sanzo: Whatever (Pandect flinches when Sanzo reaches into his robes. He takes out Marlboro and lights it). Why are you so jumpy?
Pandect: I thought you were going hit me with your fan or shoot me with your gun.
Sanzo: Am I that heavily stereotyped?
Pandect: Yep.
Sanzo: This is excessively retarded.
Pandect: Anyway I would like to thank NaughtMemories for reviewing. It lets me Know you guys care (tears up) I just can't believe I made it this far (radio plays "wind beneath my wings") You guys are just great seriously. You had me at 'update'.
Sanzo: (beats the crap out of the radio till it starts playing "B.Y.O.B").
Pandect: (glares) What the hell! You just ruined my dedication speech. And if you're gonna put a song put one that's relevant! (Kicks radio and it starts playing 'makedamnsure' buy Taking Back Sunday)
Sanzo: They're not laughing with you they're laughing at you. The only reason they want you to update is to see how someone of your idiotic level can become even more stupid.
Pandect: (blinks) I love you.
Sanzo: Baka.
The emo woman flipped her hair back.
"Now Leon why do you think you're here today?" The woman folded her arms and tried to look as intimidating as possible. But it didn't work on Leon.
"Well a couple" He stopped to glare. "I didn't put my tax return form on time, I pirate hentai movies, and I owe the IRS over $250,000.75" The woman looked at him as if he were blonde.
She quickly coughed away her bewilderment and went on questioning, "You have such lovely hair Mr. Leon, I hate to see it" She pull out a draw from under the table and took out long rusted scissors, "fall off" Leon's eyes grew wide as he saw the women wave the scissor in front of his face as a some one would tease a dog with a treat.
"You wouldn't" he whispered. His eyes followed the scissors closely. The other four emo kids in the background only laugh.
"Well it would release some of that angst you feel" She walked around the table to get closer to Leon. He then noticed her black name tag that had 'Heather Morris'( she is from resident evil 3)written in brown. She leaned down holding a strand of his hair in her hand.
"Why the fuck would you douche balls have name tags?" He said with his eye brow arched.
Heather let go of his hair and stood up. The other emos looked down and realized they too had name tags, "You know" the hand that held the scissors were resting on her chin thoughtfully while the other hand held her elbow, "I don't know" She then snapped out of it when one of the emos in the background whispered in her ear. She giggled. Leon let out a frustrated sigh and rolled his eyes. She then put the scissors back in the draw.
"What now?" Leon growled.
Heather giggled but then cleared her throat "We have one more question to ask of you before we erase you memory and use you for a sex slave" (fan girls squeal 'I call first dibs!')
Leon sighed and rolled his eyes…again
"What is your relationship with Cloud?" Heather asked staring directly into his eyes.
"What the Fuck!" Leon blurted. He was shocked by her ridiculous question (fan girls murmur 'I don't think its stupid').
Heather crossed her arms and her foot began to tap on the floor "Well I'm waiting" Leon gave to answer. "Well if you're not going to speak I guess I just have to cut it all off" She began to grab the scissors. Now. Leon was getting uncomfortable.
"Wait" he cried and she put the scissors down and smirked, "We're just…friends" He felt uncomfortable even say the word friend. It made him shiver.
Heather was feeling rather satisfied "Hmpf, don't make this any more difficult than it already is" As soon as she finished her sentence 4 people busted into the room looking rather enthusiastic about spilling blood.
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"What the fuck are you doing?"
With that Kairi instantly dropped the sharpie she held in her hands (Sharpie :sparklesparkle, for the vandalizer in you :winkwink:) .
"Well" Selphie scratched the back of her head and started laughing nervously, "We kinda sorta…just a little" Then Selphie got an idea. She got a wonderful awful idea.
"Fuck men. I don't need no man" Selphie shrieked and grabbed Kari by the waist.
Both Kairi and Riku looked at Selphie as if she was crazy.
"Just play along" Selphie whispered in Kairi's ear. Then she licked it causing Kairi to blush.
"What are you guys doing?" Riku was amused, confused, and slightly turn on by the whole situation.
"Kairi and I are sick and tired of Men!" Selphie emphasized this by tightening her hold on Kairi. "We are liberators of…" Selphie searched for the word, "women!"
Riku arched his eyebrow and turned to Kairi to verify this new found revelation. Kairi took a couple of second but realized she had to play the role.
She shook her head up and down "Yeah I'm so her bitch" Kairi blushed. She felt stupid just for saying that. There was a long awkward silence after.
Selphie tried to lighten the mood, "Let's get some ice cream (or in Hiei's fan girl world 'sweet snow')"
"Selph" Kairi said still kind of ashamed. She could still feel Riku's skeptic gaze on her.
Kairi slithered away from Selphie's hold, "It's past midnight."
Selphie looked disappointed, "Right"
Riku added in "We can still go. It's a 24 hour one"
Selphie was slightly amused "WE? Like you wanna go with us lesbian vandalizers?"
"Why not go since you're such a commanding fucktard you probably whipped Kairi into becoming docile enough for you to claim." Riku was rather smug with his theory. Kairi only blushed (fan girls 'boo Kairi you suck! You Marry Poppins reject! Suck my clit!)
Selphie laughed, "Let's go then."
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Cid walked through his house angrily. These kids…oh wait a minute (clears throat) these fucking kids are up to no fucking good smoking and cursing and drinking in his fucking house. And Damn it there not even sharing. When he got home to this mess the first thing he did was beat the shit out of his daughter.
"Damn Rikku what the fuck! I told you to stop having these stupid parties" Cid was beating Rikku up side with a wrench. "I come out of work to this and damn I'm gonna blow up this hell whole."
"Cid" His wife Miles tried to snatch his wrench away (don't know who Miles from FF: unlimited is? When then fucking Google it or watch the anime). He husband was never this aggressive when they were younger.
Cid was angry why could these fucktards let him be at peace? "Let go of me dammnit Miles can't you see I'm trying to teach this little cunt a lesson?"
Miles slap him upside his head, "What the hells wrong with you! You can't speak to our daughter that way!" She pried Cid off Rikku and she immediately latched on to her mother.
"Mom! Help me! Dad's gone mental." Miles patted her lovingly. Now, now it's not nice to talk about your father that way."
"No let he be Miles" Cid grinned and wiped his nose, "She gonna be just like me one day" Rikku's eyes widened with fear.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She ran outside to Selphie's house to complain only to find Ansem fucking Olette. She then decided she would make it a threesome.
"Everyone! out my damn house!" Cid yelled but no one would listen. Bodies were to busy gyrating to their rock and rock hippies status low riding hip hugging orgy having you won't understand what I'm saying Cause I'm too well rounded kind of parties. Cid's eye twitched. He. Just. Couldn't. Handle. The. Little. Shits. Cloud was the only one who saw the rage in Cid's eyes. He grabbed Aerith by her hand.
"Come on" He whispered in her ear. "Cid's going to loose it" They hands and left the party to the night.
Cid just put out his spear and began to randomly stab people. The ones who saw or witnesses it ran like hell. The others just thought he was doing a new dance.
"Yeaaaaaaaaaah! Woohooo go Cid!" Tidus screamed.
"Fuck you!" Cid screamed and he beat Tidus into unconsciousness.
Barret shook his head as he witness "Aren't you going to help them Miles?" He took a sip of his cranberry juice. Unfortunately it had no alcohol because those kids like to foil everything drank it all.
"Nope" Miles sipped on her ice tea, "Those aren't my kids. Why don't you help him, he's your friend."
"Those aren't my kids either." They both sighed and continued on to another topic.
Cid stopped beating on Tidus when he felt some one tap his shoulder. He turned around to see a talking dog…no, not Scooby.
"Yo fan you need to chillax n' drink a little." Goofy said trying to comfort the insane man.
"Yeah mate" Donald added, "You look like you been smoking monkey pole or something like that"
"You damn stoners! Can't you see what they did to my damn house! They destroyed the china tea set Mickey gave me. They ate all my food even my fucking wife's edible panties!" He threw his hand up in rage growling. But before he could continue to beat Tidus D and G (awe the like complementary nucleotides T and A! fan girls 'wtf?') stopped him.
"Homie fall back fo' a minute. You don't need all the aggression." Goofy sighed, "It's too bad I don't have any mo Dro fo' you to smoke you need too realize that constipation you got building up inside." Cid sighed. As much as he hated these fucktards (seems like he hates everyone?) he cherished there greed A grass.
"I got it" Donald said slamming his fist into his hand.
"What" Cid and Goofy said in unison.
"LCD" Donald squawked happily, "My special blend" All three smiled but no one notice how mischievous Donald's smile was.
"Let's go to my room to smoke and shit Cid said. All three walk to have their own adventure decorated with blue and yellow purple hills.
Pandect: Ha! Another day another chap!
Goku: Took you long enough.
Pandect: Hey I had to think thoughts and what not!
Goku: Well I'm starving so hurry up with your notes!
Pandect: ANYWAY (glares at Goku) I notice that most of my major errors come a climatic scene (nervous laughter) Well you see that's because I'm too busy chuckling at my own damn thoughts and thoughts are slower then my actions so they all jumble up. (bows very low) Sorry! And please review you thoughts intrigue and amuses me. I love you. Yes. I love you and only you. All two of you who have read this.
Goku: Hurry up you suck!
Pandect: (glares daggers) Shuddup! 95 of the people who have read this think you're from Dragon Ball Z!
Goku: (cries) You're so mean.
Pandect: (pouts) Whatever.