As Elizabeth predicted, Nathan's presence at home did not change the school schedule much at all. Yes, he usually came into the house to have lunch with them. This arrangement allowed Vincent to ask questions about Nathan's time in the Mounties. As Nathan was willing to share and Ally, Opal and Jack were just as happy to listen the children were often left with Nathan in the diningroom on the days school was held at the Grants. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Elizabeth made sure she left something for Nathan to eat when he took a break.
On occasion, Nathan would also entertain Jack for part of the day if he was doing a less dangerous task like sanding, staining or painting. The little boy was fascinated by the process and would sit and watch Nathan work for a good portion of time. Jack especially enjoyed it when Nathan would give him a piece of scrap wood and let the boy paint on it. Jack always treated going to the wood shop with Dad as a privilege and obeyed the set safety rules at all other times.
On the Thursday following his change in his full time profession, Nathan suggested that Elizabeth leave Jack with him when she and Ally got ready to leave for the Weise's as he was planning to head into town. He had finished a deer statuette that he wanted to ask Ned to display in the mercantile, had finished the new office chair for Henry and wanted to call Charles Mansfield with an update on his order.
"Are you sure?" Elizabeth asked, seeming very hesitant about the idea. "I do not want him to make things harder or be in the way. It might be better if I just keep him with me where I know he'll be safe."
Elizabeth's last words felt like a knife to the heart. Did she really think he would let anything happen to Jack? Reminding himself that what Lucas had done to Jack had traumatized Elizabeth just as much as what Lucas had done to her. Nathan took a few moments to calm his emotions before speaking. Those moments gave Elizabeth a chance to respond.
"I am sorry," Elizabeth said, a repentant look on her face as she reached for Nathan's hand. "Lucas had so little patience for Jack that keeping him with me became habit but I know you are different. You saved us from Lucas. I know Jack is safe with you. Please forgive me."
Unshed tears were sparkling in Elizabeth's eyes by the time she had finished. The tears and her words had alleviated Nathan's hurt over the words as they were proof it had been her trauma speaking.
Gently tugging on the hand that had reached for his, Nathan pulled Elizabeth closer. Their clasped hands stayed between them as Nathan reached out to smooth her hair with his other hand.
"I won't pretend those words didn't hurt because they did," Nathan told her softly. "But you are forgiven. I would not intentionally hurt you or Jack and I hope my actions prove those words every day."
"They do," Elizabeth said, wrapping her free arm around his waist as she let herself be held and comforted. "There are times I can still hear the sound of Jack's head hitting that banister. Can still hear him telling Lucas to stop hurting his Mama. Did you know it was Jack who called for Rosemary when I fell down the steps? Lucas just left me lying there and my four-year-old went for help. Just like he did that night," she lamented, the tears falling slowly down her cheek now.
"It just shows you that Jack has more love and compassion for others at four than Lucas ever learned," Nathan told her. He moved his hand from her hair to place his fingers underneath her chin, lifting her head gently so that he could look into her eyes. "You are the one that taught him that. Never forget that."
Elizabeth managed a small smile. "He has your wonderful example now too," she added softly. "I think Jack would love to spend the day with his Dad," she added, addressing the original suggestion that had led to this conversation.
At that time, both adults heard footsteps on the stairs. The sound was followed shortly by Ally's call of, "we're ready, Beth."
Reluctantly, Elizabeth stepped back from Nathan and drew out a handkerchief. Giving Elizabeth a little more time to compose herself, Nathan headed toward the steps. Ally had her school things in a basket along with a couple of Jack's toys.
"I appreciate you getting the toys for Jack, Ally. However, there is a slight change of plans," Nathan said. Having addressed Ally for the first part, Nathan now let his gaze drift to Jack. "Would you like to spend the day with me, Jack?"
"Yes!" Jack replied without hesitation, giving a little hop.
"Make sure you are on your best behavior, Jack," Elizabeth instructed even as Jack stepped forward to claim Nathan's hand. "Stay with your Dad."
"I will, Mama," Jack told her.
Ally took Jack's toys out of her basket and held them out to Nathan. Though she did not say anything, Nathan knew his daughter well enough to see something was bothering her and he had a good idea what it was.
"Were you planning on riding Sargent today, Elizabeth?" Nathan asked, knowing that his wife had been riding more of late. It was part of the reason they had decided to get Ally a horse for her birthday. It would also be nice to be able to go riding as a family. Though Cosmo was a mild-mannered horse, he did much better pulling the wagon than being a saddle horse.
"No," Elizabeth replied.
"Then as long as Ally doesn't disappear with Opal on me, perhaps she and I could go for a ride before supper tonight," Nathan commented.
The suggestion put an instant smile on Allie's face. "I will come home with Beth after school today," she replied.
"Speaking of school, we should get going so we are not holding up the others," Elizabeth said retrieving her own basket which she had placed on the floor by the front door.
Nathan placed a kiss on the top of first Ally and then Elizabeth's head. "You two ladies have a good day," he told them.
"Thank you," Elizabeth said. "You too," she added, placing her own kiss on his cheek.
"Bye, Dad," Ally said as she followed Elizabeth out of the house. "Bye, Jack."
"Bye, Mama. Bye Ally," Jack replied. "I will join you for school again tomorrow," he added.
"Wait until next year, Jack. School will not be optional then," Ally threw back over her shoulder with a teasing tone.
Nathan smiled at the comment. Though a fairly good student, his daughter had not always been a model student, as was evident with skipping school her first day in Hope Valley. He could not really blame her. School had never been his favorite place as a kid either. The fact that she had moved around so much when she was younger could not have been easy on Ally, either. Still, he did not necessarily want her view of school to color Jack's opinion.
"What are we doing, Dad?" Jack asked looking up at Nathan.
Nathan smiled down at the boy who looked up at him with someone else's eyes. Eyes that he saw when looking at Jack Thornton's photograph. You would be proud of our son, Jack, Nathan thought before answering the boy.
"I have a statuette and a chair to take into town," Nathan told him. "Then I am going to go make a call from your Uncle Lee's office. Perhaps then we can go have lunch at the café."
"Can we have Grandpa and Grandpa Bill join us?" Jack asked.
"We will certainly ask," Nathan assured him. "What about Uncle Lee and Uncle Gabe?"
"We can ask them too. It can be a guys' day," Jack said without missing a beat.
"Where did you get that from?" Nathan asked, knowing that he should not be surprised at Jack picking up the term after all the things which Ally had repeated over the years.
"Mr. Fletcher asked Mr. Flynn at your retirement party if he was coming to guy's night. As it is during the day and we will all be guys having lunch, guy's day seemed a better term."
Nathan rested a hand on Jack's shoulder. "You make a good point, Jack," Nathan said, feeling relieved that it had not seemed like Jack had overheard anything his young ears should not have heard. While Nathan knew there was no harm in friendly games like Jesse and his friends got together and have, memories of his own childhood were reminders of how an innocent game of poker could snowball into something bigger. Perhaps he needed to discuss with Elizabeth about when to start trying to teach Jack about personal responsibility when it came to certain things.
For now though, he had some business to conduct in town. "How about we go get Cosmo hitched to the wagon?" Nathan told the boy.
"Can Nate come with us?" Jack asked as he let Nathan lead him out the front door.
"I think Nate should stay here," Nathan told the boy, anticipating the little pout that came to his son's face. "But I tell you what. When we come home, I have to stain the two chairs I was sanding. I will take my things out by the pond and you can let Nate explore his pond."
The pout disappeared as a huge smile took its place. "I want Nate to like his pond. If he likes his pond, he will stay!" Jack said, telling Nathan that at least the boy had been listening about the need to let Nate have the choice of leaving if he wanted.
"There is that possibility," Nathan told him, being careful to make it not sound too definite.
As they walked out to the barn, Jack changed the conversation to Nathan's wood working. Among the many questions the boy asked was if Nathan would show him how to build things. Though he promised too, Nathan cautioned him that some things would need to wait until he was older. As Jack went on about talk to how adults like telling kids to wait until they were older, Nathan started contemplating a way that he could make a project safe for Jack to feel like he was 'creating it'. Perhaps precut pieces of a project that either fitted together or Jack could glue together.
The day went smoothly. Ned was happy to display the deer statuette in the mercantile. Nathan then dropped off Henry's new chair at the Petroleum office. The man managed one of his rare genuine smiles as he admired it. When he handed Nathan the money for the chair, Nathan noted that it was higher then their agreed upon price. When he had opened his mouth to say something, Henry spoke first.
"That craftsmanship deserves a tip," Henry told him. "If you are going to be a businessman then do not undervalue your talent."
Nathan had thanked him. Both he and Jack had told Henry good-bye and headed for Lee's office. Lee had messages about two orders from Benson Hills. Though he had taken down details, lee had told them that Nathan would call them back to discuss delivery details. While Nathan made the phone calls to both his new customers and to give an update to Mr. Mansfield, Jack 'helped' his Uncle Lee. Nathan arranged delivery dates for the new orders, one a rocking chair and another a simple square table with four chairs set, arranging to meet both customers on the same day in front of the Benson Hills General store. The last call was to Charles Mansfield. When the Hamilton furniture store owner heard that Nathan was staining four of the chairs for the commissioned dining room set, he asked if it would be possible to ship at least one of those chairs out.
"I am very anxious to see your work," Charles had said.
"I will make it happen," Nathan promised the man, knowing that this commission was important. Anything he could do to keep Charles Mansfield happy, Nathan would make sure it happened. "As soon as I have the details, I will call you back."
A conversation with Lee who was use to shipping things on the railroad and two conversations with William Thatcher later, Nathan had made arrangements for three of the chairs to be shipped on the morning train the following day. Nathan was keeping the fourth to make sure the last four chairs matched the first ones. His father-in-law told Nathan that he would call Charles Mansfield with the shipping details. As it was being shipped under the Thatcher Shipping name, Nathan saw no harm in it. Hanging up the phone, he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.
"Are you all right, Dad?" Jack asked from where he sat on Lee's lap across the desk from Nathan.
"Yes, I am fine, Jack," Nathan replied, not opening his eyes.
"Your Dad is just learning the not so fun part of his new career, Jack," Lee told the boy, a huge smile on his face. "Lucky for him he has got me to help him."
"I will help too," Jack replied in a completely serious tone.
That comment made Nathan smile. "Thank you for the offer, Jack," he told his son opening his eyes.
"You can't go wrong with the two of us on your side, Nathan," Lee told.
"You have a good point. However, right now I think Jack and I need to go get lunch and go home and get those chairs stained so they are ready to ship tomorrow morning."
"Can you join us, Uncle Lee?" Jack asked, turning his head so that he could look up at him.
Lee glanced across the desk at Nathan before answering, silently looking for his friend's approval. Nathan nodded.
"Lunch sounds great," Lee replied, looking down at the boy in his lap.
"We just need to ask Grandpa, Grandpa Bill and Uncle Gabe if they can join us?"
"Oh, we are turning it into quite a lunch gathering," Nathan commented.
"Guy's day, Dad," Jack protested.
"Guy's day?" Lee asked, chuckling. Jack nodded happily. "Sounds good to me," Lee said. "How about you check with your father, Nathan, and Jack and I will check in with Bill and Gabriel," Lee suggested. Nathan nodded his agreement. "So where are we meeting?"
"The café," Jack supplied.
"All right," Lee said. "Let's go see if we can round up the guys," he said putting Jack down on his feet so he could stand up. "We'll see you at the café," he told Nathan.
Nathan watched the two leave the office before closing his eyes and taking a few minutes to ground himself. The last few days had been a whirlwind, what with the retirement party and getting a new routine together with his new job. Part of him had expected things to start slowly and he would be able to build up some inventory before orders started coming in. Instead, orders were keeping him busy already.
There were worse problems he could have, he supposed. With another sigh, Nathan got to his feet and headed for the door. For now, he would go see if his father wanted to join them for lunch and then go home and stain the chairs out by the pond while Jack enjoyed time with his duckling.
Though a jacket was necessary, it was a beautiful afternoon for a horseback ride. Though it would disappear briefly between big puffy white clouds in the sky, the sun shone down brightly on father and daughter as they rode along the roads outside of Hope Valley. Not much had been said between them but Nathan could not shake the feeling that there was something on Ally's mind. Something that he wanted to get her the opportunity to speak about it before they got home. If they couldn't share their hearts out here alone, he knew they would never find the time to do so with all the normal activities of everyday life.
"So, how are the party plans going?" Nathan asked, figuring that his daughter's upcoming birthday party was a safe topic.
"Grandpa is letting me have whatever I want, including both a vanilla and a chocolate cake," Ally told him. "Grandpa Bill is going to make the cake like he has the past few years. I invited Vincent today as he wasn't here when I sent out the invitations. I know I already invited the Kinslows but I thought Vincent would appreciate a personal invitation and he can get to know some of the other children."
"That was very nice of you," Nathan told his daughter.
"I remember how hard it was to make new friends before I came to Hope Valley," Ally said. "I want him to feel welcomed here. That is the one draw back to home schooling. I don't see the other children as much."
"Well, this party should be just the thing to socialize with everyone," Nathan said.
"Ms. Rosemary is helping with the decorations and giving Opal and I some ideas for games. I think this is going to be the best birthday ever," Ally said. She paused a moment and then looked sheepishly over at Nathan. "I do appreciate all the birthday parties you had for me. I know you did your best."
Nathan reached out a hand to briefly touch her shoulder. "I am glad you are going to have the party that you want," he assured her. "I am also glad that your grandfather has been such a positive influence in your life these last few years. I am not sure how I would have gotten through those months in Calgary without him and you are the reason I let him into our lives again."
"I am glad Grandpa is in our lives but I have to admit I am a little ashamed in how I acted when he first sought us out in Hope Valley," Ally ventured. "I was angry with you without trying to understand how hard it was for you to let him back into your life. Grandpa broke your trust and I only now understand how hard it is to trust someone who has broken your trust. I think that is even harder than forgiving someone. I am sorry I was not more sensitive to your feelings, Dad."
"You were eleven, Ally," Nathan told her. "No parent expects their eleven-year-old to be sensitive to their feelings when you are simply learning how to figure out and deal with your own."
Ally nodded. She grasped Sargent's reigns in one hand and reached out to her father. Nathan reached out and took the offered hand.
"All the same, know that I appreciate what you went through now."
"Is this about Elizabeth living with us now?" Nathan asked, thinking that they may have gotten to the true issue that was bothering Ally. "Are you doing all right with the arrangement? Is there anything that I can do to make things easier on you?"
Ally shook her head but didn't release Nathan's hand. "It is but I don't think there is much that you can do. Or Beth either. I think I need to work things out within myself."
"Sometimes talking about those feelings can help that process along," Nathan said. "I may have been reluctant to try that but it does work."
That comment brought a small smile to Ally's face.
"You can tell me anything and I promise it will stay between the two of us."
Ally pulled her hand away and took the reigns in both hand. Taken in the thoughtful expression on her face, Nathan remained quiet, giving her time to process her thoughts as she decided whether or not to confide in him.
"I guess sometimes I just feel like I am not really a part of our family," Ally finally said quietly.
"Ally-" Nathan started to say, but was cut off by his daughter continuing quickly.
"I am not blaming anyone. I understand why you chose to marry Elizabeth," Ally continued, looking at the road they were riding down and not at Nathan. "You made the right choice. Both Jack and Beth are happier. You are happier too. I know I should be happier too, and in a lot of ways I am. I have the family I always wanted. However, I find myself holding back because though I have forgiven Beth, a part of me doesn't quite trust her, all the way. Kind of like you felt with Grandpa. You didn't want to let Grandpa into our lives because you expected him to disappoint you once again. I keep waiting for Beth to hurt us again."
Ally ducked her head.
"I know. I am a horrible person."
Reaching out, Nathan brushed his hand over her hair. If they were not on the horses, he would have pulled her into an embrace and hold her.
"You are not a horrible person. You are a child you was hurt and are having a hard time trusting again. I was that child, Ally. I know exactly how you feel but you are right, there is not much I can do to help you through this. Know that I will always be here for you though. Any time you want the comforting love of a father, come to me. Solving your problems are not as easy as when you were a child but I will always face them with you."
Ally finally looked over at him. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "I want the family we created but I am afraid that just when I decide to accept it, then it will be taken away from me like so much in my life."
"You are a part of this family, Ally. You just need to find the courage to trust again. It isn't easy but I've done it and so can you."
"So is it okay if I wait until I am like thirty to do so?" Ally asked, one side of her mouth twitching up in a half smile.
"You can wait until you are forty and you are still going to be a party of this family and loved whether you like it or not."
Ally squeezed her father's hand before releasing it.
"We should probably head back so we are not late for supper," Nathan told her, glancing toward the sun getting lower on the horizon.
Ally nodded and the two turned the horses around. Nathan felt better after the conversation and he hoped Ally did as well. He knew, only time would tell.