Content Advisory: Profanity, Shameless Fluff

✉ Epilogue: P.S…✉

Elphaba's chest heaved, her lungs burned, and her muscles ached as she pushed her body to run as fast as it could. She looked behind her shoulder to see that she was being closed in on. She puffed her breath out and pushed herself harder, but in the end…she was simply not fast enough.

"Caught you, Miss Elphaba!"

A group of Animal children tagged Elphaba on the back and she cackled, making a show of tumbling to the ground in dramatic defeat.

"Blast! I wore myself out in the beginning," Elphaba panted, sitting upright on the ground and tucking some windswept hair back into her untidy bun. "Looks like you all win again. Now what do you say?"

"We won," the children announced modestly.

Elphaba stood and planted her hands on her hips.

"Nuh uh," she wagged a finger at them. "I'll have you know that I was quite the runner in my day and you all still bested me. Celebrate like you mean it! Full voices now!"

"We won! We won! We won!" they chanted louder, dancing boastfully as she'd taught them to. "Again, Miss Elphaba! Again!"

"No, no more! Damned if you all haven't worn me out," Elphaba muttered as she wiped sweat off of her forehead.

"Miss Elphaba said a bad word!"

"There are no bad words, only bad intentions," Elphaba corrected. "Just don't tell your parents I said so."

Elphaba clapped her hands twice to get the attention of the playing children.

"Recreation time is over," she yelled. "Come along!"

The Animal children groaned and begrudgingly slouched her way.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all you use your voices for now, isn't it? Grumbling," Elphaba teased, waving them off towards the outdoor classroom to resume their studies.

Ozians had always spoken of The Badlands as if it were the bleakest most Ozforsaken place one could imagine, a place no wise person would ever dare tread. However, as Elphaba knew firsthand, Ozians had a tendency to exaggerate. During the height of the Animal restrictions, the rugged, isolated area far beyond Oz's south border became a common place for Animals to flee. The rumors and ominous name kept Ozian influence out and kept the refugees safe from persecution, but Oz's damage had already been done. Many of the Animals in the area had been so frightened they'd forgotten how to speak.

Until now.

Elphaba's work started small when she'd begun privately tutoring some acquaintances she'd made shortly after arriving. Her recitation program saw results and began spreading through the tiny community by word of mouth—literally. It didn't take long for something small to grow much bigger. The finished product was an informal school, for lack of a better word, that Animals of all ages could attend to regain their speech.

"Elphaba, get out of here," a fellow instructor, Miss Garland, urged Elphaba upon returning with the children. "You've been here all day."

"Just one more lesson," Elphaba waved a dismissive hand, wetting her thumb as she skimmed through her resources.

"Home. Now. Go. He made me promise!"

Elphaba peered over the papers and raised a brow.

"He made you promise?"

Miss Garland blanched and shook her head, realizing she'd let too much slip. "Um…no?"

Elphaba laughed under her breath and handed the materials to Miss Garland.

"That man."

She slung her bag over her shoulder and offered her co-teacher a dutiful salute.

"Keep up the good work," Elphaba said, walking backwards away from the school towards home. "I'm going to go see whatever surprise nonsense he's planned."

"Don't tell him I spoiled it!"

"Of course not. Not a word," Elphaba zipped her lips.

Elphaba slipped on her round-rimmed glasses and pulled a book from her bag to read as she strolled easily through their remote village. She lifted her head to occasionally smile or nod at the familiar faces but otherwise stayed focused on the narrative until the scruffy farm she called home came into view.

The cottage door creaked to announce her arrival and she heard footsteps come from the kitchen.

"Finally you're back—"

Elphaba lifted a finger to cut him off, making a point to finish her paragraph before calmly closing the book, removing her glasses, and lifting her eyes to greet her husband.

"Happy anniversary, Yero."

"Hell, Fae. You always have to steal my thunder!" Fiyero complained. He took her waist and swept her flush against him. "I thought you'd forgotten. I was going to surprise you and everything."

"I know. Miss Garland spoiled it," Elphaba revealed, winding her arms around his neck with a grin. "You know she can't keep a secret."

"You're all sweaty," Fiyero pestered, twirling an unkempt strand of her hair around his finger. "Were you racing the kids again?"

"Yes," Elphaba confirmed.

She freed her hair from its bun and gave it a quick shake before crossing their cottage and stealing into a room across the way.

"Did you let them win again?" Fiyero called.

She snorted from the other room. "Yup!"

"You've got to let them win on their own one of these days!"

"Ah, sue me Fiyero." Elphaba reemerged with her and Fiyero's toddler propped up against her hip. She planted a kiss to his black hair as he rubbed a sleepy fist over his blue eyes. "Motherhood has made me go soft."

"Hey! He learned another word today!" Fiyero reported.

"He did? You did?" Elphaba gasped excitedly as she swayed her son side to side. "What was it?"

"I…don't want to say."

"Tell me."

Fiyero sighed heavily. "Book. He said book, okay? Our son is a nerd."

"Book!? Liir, did you learn how to say book?" Elphaba gasped. She attacked Liir's cheek with kisses and he giggled delightedly. Elphaba turned back to Fiyero with an arrogant expression. "Chart."

"Ah, Fae. Can't we just be happy that our son is so smart? We don't need to make this a competition."

"Says the loser!" Elphaba bragged obnoxiously. "Chart!"

"Chart," Liir repeated.

"Is that a new one?" Elphaba asked.

"Nah, he learned that last week," Fiyero sighed.

He dragged himself towards the easel they displayed in their living room that had a T-chart indicating a 'Fiyero' category and an 'Elphaba' category. Fiyero's side had words such as 'party', 'play', and 'dance'. Elphaba's side had words like 'read', 'learn', and, to Elphaba's chagrin— 'green'. His first word, however, they wrote in the center, feeling as though they'd played an equal role in its influence. 'Mail'.

"Happy now?" Fiyero asked as he jotted 'book' under Elphaba's section. "You're in the lead."

"I'm in the lead!" Elphaba beamed, lifting Liir high in the air as she celebrated. "Hear that? Mama is in the lead!"

"This chart is going to screw him up, you know?" Fiyero grumbled, only perturbed for having lost his advantage.

"We're going to screw him up no matter what," Elphaba shrugged, tickling Liir's stomach to get another laugh. "At least we're having fun with it."

"Funny. The kid is almost as ticklish as his mom," Fiyero threatened as he advanced a step her way.

"Don't you dare…" Elphaba warned, knowing his look. She held Liir up in front of her in defense. "I have the child."

Fiyero was about to pounce, but Elphaba's frowned as she detected a sudden scent.

"Hold on—Yero…do you smell smoke?" she asked slowly.

"Yeah, I do."

Elphaba's serious expression dropped with an exasperated scoff. "Your surprise involved cooking, didn't it?"

"Maybe?"

"What did we agree on?!" Elphaba groaned. "You do the cleaning I do—"

"—the cooking!" Fiyero finished. "I know, but I wanted to be romantic!"

The smoke alarm went off and Elphaba handed Liir off to Fiyero in order to address the burning dinner. She opened the window and pointed a finger at the fire to extinguish it through magic, flourishing an arm to banish the smoke outside. She turned and looked at Fiyero who had a guilty expression.

"Whoops," he shrugged.

"Whoops," Liir echoed.

Elphaba leaned against the counter as she was suddenly wracked with tickled, full body laughs. Liir clapped his little hands and scream giggled along with his mother which only made Elphaba laugh harder. She clutched at her stomach as she caught her breath and noticed Fiyero staring at her with a small smile.

"You're looking at me like you love me," she pointed out with a breathless chuckle.

He approached her and brushed his thumb over her chin with his free hand, admiring her secret dimples.

"You look happy, Fae."

"I am," Elphaba responded. "I really, really am."

Elphaba did damage control over dinner to salvage their meal while Fiyero created a romantic atmosphere by lighting a candle and playing a record on their dingy phonograph. Liir played his part by only spitting up once. After dinner, Fiyero set Liir up to play with his blocks on the carpet before helping Elphaba with the dishes.

Fiyero playfully bumped his hip against hers as she washed and he dried. She playfully bumped him back and he splashed some water from the sink onto her gray dress. She gasped and swatted at him with the dish towel.

"Careful, Yero. You wouldn't want me to melt!"

"Oh yes I do. Liir gets such a kick out of it."

"What do you think, Liir? You want to watch Mama melt?"

Liir looked up with wide eyes, holding a green block in both hands. "Melt!"

"He knows that word because of you," Elphaba accused.

"At least it made your side of the chart. Go on now, the kid is waiting."

Elphaba walked over to the quilt where her son was sitting and got his attention.

"Watch out, Liir. Mama's melting. I'm meltiiiiiiiing! Ooooh what a world!" Elphaba cried playfully, wilting in a dramatic fashion to lay on the ground beside Liir who giggled up a storm. "Oh, my beautiful wickedness! Blegh."

"Melt! Mama melt!" Liir demanded, placing a block on Elphaba's stomach and clapping wildly.

"Oof, I think Mama's too tired to melt again," Elphaba sighed. Liir leaned forward and placed a sloppy kiss to her cheek that was more like a raspberry. "Thank you, baby."

Fiyero helped Elphaba to her feet and she laughed wearily, crossing into the kitchen again to drain the sink. A bunch of bubbles had collected at the bottom and Elphaba stared at them wistfully. She felt Fiyero's arms wrap around her from behind.

"I miss her too," he said knowingly.

Elphaba scooped some suds into her hand and blew them towards her unsuspecting husband. She laughed evilly as he spat them off his tongue.

"That's for the water."

"Oh, you are so going to pay—" he warned and Elphaba shrieked as she escaped his clutches.

She scurried into the living room where he soon caught up with her, but instead of tickling her he suavely pulled her into a dance position and began leading her in an expert waltz.

"Full of surprises, Mr. Tigelaar," Elphaba commented breathlessly.

"Gotta keep you on your toes, Mrs. Tigelaar," he grinned, as he whirled her around their cottage. "Plus I love this song."

Elphaba sighed sweetly as they swayed together.

"How long have we been married again?" she joked. "Forty years? Fifty?"

"I think sixty," Fiyero hummed, kissing her hair and leaning his head against hers as they danced cheek to cheek.

"Wow, we look good," Elphaba commented, stroking her fingers through his hair. "No grays yet."

"There better not be."

"What do you say, Tigelaar?" Elphaba asked. "Sick of me yet?"

Fiyero lowered her into a slow dip.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely."

She laughed and swatted at this chest as he lifted her back to her feet before an unexpected sound from outside startled them from their dance. They gripped each other tighter as they listened close.

"It couldn't be…" Elphaba reasoned, exchanging a surprised look with Fiyero. "Could it?"

Elphaba rushed into the kitchen to lean out of their open kitchen window. She released a loud gasp to see who had just landed on their lawn.

"He's early!"

They both scurried out onto their yard with Liir in tow and Elphaba shouted in delight to see an old friend.

"Chistery!" Elphaba greeted enthusiastically. Chistery nearly tackled her in a hug and she knelt before him to nudge his shoulder. "We weren't expecting you until next month, silly thing!"

"Surprise! Surprise!" Chistery announced happily, clearly pleased with himself.

"Get in there," Elphaba gestured, making way for Chistery to bound into their warmly lit home.

He hopped up onto their kitchen table and Liir giggled as Elphaba and Fiyero followed him inside.

"Chisty!" Liir babbled, grasping his tiny fists towards the Monkey. They adored each other.

"How are you, my friend?" Elphaba asked. "I hope all is well."

"Yes, well!" Chistery nodded. He reached into his tiny bag and pulled out a bundle of envelopes and an array of small packages. "Happy! Anniversary! Happy!"

"Oh, you sweet thing. You remembered!"

"Looks like everyone remembered," Fiyero chuckled, thumbing through their letters. "Amalia, Dillamond, Nessa, Glinda—hell yeah! She sent macaroons!"

"Hell yeah!" Liir mimicked.

"Fiyero, don't say bad words in front of him! You know he repeats everything we say."

"Don't you tell the kids that there are no bad words, only bad intentions?" Fiyero reminded her.

"Yeah, but I'm full of shit."

"Shit," Liir said.

"Shit!" Chistery joined excitedly.

"Shit…" Elphaba and Fiyero sighed in unison.

Deciding they'd corrupted him enough for one day, Elphaba and Fiyero tucked Liir into bed and gently closed the door behind them. Chistery was already curled up on their sofa, crashed after a long journey. Elphaba and Fiyero linked hands and tiptoed towards their dining room table to sift through their messages.

"Dillamond says that most of the Monkeys are speaking as well as Chistery," Fiyero reported from the professor's letter. "He cut out some articles too. Ha—look at this one."

Fiyero handed Elphaba a tabloid and she grinned.

"The Wicked Witch of the West is Alive! New wave of sightings in The Scalps!" she read dramatically. "They can never get the story completely right, can they? What's that?"

"Nessa sent a book of her poetry," Fiyero realized, handing Elphaba a thin, hardcover book.

"Really?" Elphaba asked, running her thumb over the name on the cover. Nessarose Thropp. "Oh, my baby sister is published. Can you believe it?"

"No, I can't. I can believe that she sent us this Unionist brochure though," Fiyero waved the pamphlet in Elphaba's face and she swatted it away.

"Well, she's still Nessa, that's for sure. She wants us to send current pictures of Liir back with Chistery."

"Well we've got tons. Maybe the one with his hair all slicked up?"

"No, we have to keep that one!" Elphaba gasped. "She can have the one of him playing outside from when Glinda came to visit."

"Speaking of Glinda…" Fiyero prompted, presenting Glinda's dense letter written upon pages and pages of pink stationary. "Mmm…it's scented."

"Well Glinda loves form…though she hardly slacks on content these days," Elphaba adjusted her glasses as she combed through the dozens of pages detailing Glinda's life. "What time is it?"

"It's eight," Fiyero realized. "Hey, it's eight! Happy anniversary, Fae."

"Happy anniversary, Yero."

They leaned forward to share a long, heart stirring kiss before intimately resting their heads together.

"I keep waiting for it to happen," Elphaba expressed quietly.

"For what?"

"I keep waiting for our lives to start to feel ordinary. Between work and Liir and arguing and chores I just…I keep waiting to take it for granted. But every day I wake up beside you and remember what it took to get here…" Elphaba trailed off.

"I know," Fiyero agreed.

"Do you ever think we should write it all down?" Elphaba chuckled. "Our story…just so we don't forget anything."

Fiyero sucked air through his teeth and nodded his head to their wall where, along with their wedding photo and snapshots of Liir, a collage of some of their most precious letters were framed on display.

"Pretty sure we already did."

Elphaba stood and strolled to the wall to reference one of the earliest letters she'd received from Fiyero. It was a favorite of hers. The first one he wrote to her as Yero…the one where they'd been strangers no more. Time was funny. It felt she'd received it a lifetime ago. It felt like she'd received it yesterday.

Elphaba reminisced on the work she'd accomplished, the people she'd loved, and the life she'd created for herself and a rush of realization filled her chest.

"I feel like I've done it," she announced.

"Done what?"

Elphaba turned to Fiyero with a small smile.

"Something…great."

Fiyero leaned back in his chair and admired his wife. "I knew you would. I've said so all along."

"Yes you did," Elphaba agreed, tapping the letter on the wall. "I guess you saw the future."

"Nah—I didn't. I could only ever tell the present."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow, prompting him to explain.

"You've always been great, Elphaba. It was the easiest bet I've ever placed."

Elphaba went to stand behind his chair and wrap her arms around him from behind. She kissed his stubbled cheek in appreciation and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"We'd better get to responding. Let's do Glinda first. You write, I'll dictate."

"I wrote last time!" Fiyero complained. "Plus your handwriting has always been better."

"What did we just say about taking things for granted?" Elphaba raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the stationary. "Now write. Dear Glinda…"

"Dear Glinda…" Fiyero repeated aloud as he began to write.

"We were so happy to hear from you earlier than expected. We miss you dearly, as does Liir. We show him a picture of you daily. He loves hearing all about his 'fairy godmother' as you insist we have him call you," Elphaba said. She paused for a moment and took a deep breath as she waited for Fiyero's hand to catch up. "We would love for you to pay us another visit. Perhaps we should plan for next summer…after the new baby arrives."

"…the new baby…arrives…" Fiyero mumbled along, his eyebrows knitted in concentration.

Elphaba watched as the words dawned on him and he turned to look at her.

"Wait…really?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Elphaba couldn't hide her grin any longer as she nodded excitedly.

"Yeah."

"When did—"

"Yesterday."

"Are you—"

"Yes."

"How are—"

"Wonderful."

"Fae!" Fiyero laughed incredulously and pulled Elphaba into an astonished hug. He held her for a long moment before mumbling something into her shoulder. "You're switching to part time."

"No I'm not," Elphaba said as she pulled out the hug, casually plucking the pen out of Fiyero's hand to continue their letter to Glinda.

"Then you'll stop running around with those kids!"

"No I won't," she said without looking up.

"Will you listen to anything I say?"

"Never have, never will."

"You infuriate me!"

"Mutual, darling."

"I love you."

Elphaba looked up to grace Fiyero with a gentle smile.

"I love you too."

Elphaba and Fiyero spent the rest of the evening together in quiet harmony as they composed, addressed, and sealed their hearts into envelopes. It came as naturally to them now as it did from the first stroke of their pens. Their fresh start had been a blank sheet of stationary, a chance to compose and edit their life into a story they wanted to live. Gratitude spilled from them like ink to paper as they immortalized that story, their story, in the many letters they wrote to their loved ones.

They signed these letters as they always had, and as they would forever more.

Love, Fae & Yero

A/N:

Dear Readers,

That's the end! If you have read this far, particularly to those of you who favorited or left reviews, I want to sincerely thank you. I cannot overstate what your engagement with this story has meant to me. 2022 has been a difficult year for me, but writing, editing, and posting this story brought me a lot of joy.

If you enjoyed this story, feel free to check out some of my previous works (In Any Universe is shamelessly indulgent Fiyeraba) and be on the lookout/subscribe for alerts for what is to come in the future. Whether you're read this as it was posted, are reading in the future, or are re-reading, don't be afraid to reach out on here, Ao3, or my tumblr (same username) anytime.

Be well, and thanks for coming along for the ride.

Signed, elphabaoftheopera