Picking up the Pieces

AUTHOR: Piper Fox
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Disclaimer: See Part one.

(March): A few minutes later . . .

Elizabeth Corday closed the door quietly, taking note of the conversation outside.

"So how long are you on for Abby?" Dave said to her as they walked away.

"Til seven," she replied.

"Same . . . you wanna see if we can get out of here for a bit?"

"Yeah, okay."

"There he goes again," Elizabeth smirked silently.

"I'm glad she's coming along so well," Jing-mei Chen remarked, turning away from the window into Lucy's room.

"So am I. She was very close to not making it," Elizabeth said, her mind wandering back a few weeks to when she and Robert Romano, had brought Lucy back from the brink of death.

"How do you think she is handling all this?"

"I don't know . . . time will tell I guess."

"Yeah, John's not doing too well. I think I'll visit him again," Jing-Mei decided.

A Few Minutes Later . . .

John Carter was sitting on his bed, trying to read a magazine, when Jing-Mei entered.

"Hi John," she said pleasantly.

"Hi Deb," he said, referring to her old name as he often did.

"How about a walk?" she suggested.

"No thanks."

"C'mon John, doctor's orders."

He frowned, but eventually gave in. He knew the tone in her voice, and he couldn't be bothered resisting. Jing-Mei took hold of his right arm, and soon they were making a reasonable pace along the lengths of the hospital wards.

"Let's sit here," she suggested. Carter nodded and let her help him towards a row of chairs.

"So what's this about?" he asked.

"Can't I just come and see how you are doing?"

"You just saw me half an hour ago."

"I'm worried about you, John."

"I'm okay," he lied.

A few minutes of uncomfortable silence followed. John didn't know what to say. His frustration was obvious to the people around him and yet he was unsure how to tell anyone his problems.

"I really think you ought to go and see Lucy."

"No, I can't."

"Why not? She looked so disappointed when she realised you weren't there this afternoon."

Carter said nothing. He couldn't. "I don't want to face her right now."

Jing-Mei continued, "I can't keep lying to her for you."

"I can't go Deb . . . I just can't." He sounded distressed. "She nearly died because of me."

"John, you nearly died too."

"But it's my fault . . . I almost killed her." His eyes were full of disgust.

"Hey, that lunatic Sobriki used that knife . . . not you."

"I feel so bad. If only I had paid more attention to her."

"There is nothing that could have been done to change what happened," she said, putting a comforting arm around him.

"Shit Deb," he said running his hands though his hair "I feel so bad, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I . . ."

"Shh, Lucy doesn't blame you. It was an unfortunate incident."

Carter sat very still in her arms. If only he could believe her. "What if Lucy does blame me?" he thought. "She'll never forgive me." He still wanted to hope, yet all he could hear were Lucy's last words to him that day – "Just forget it, Carter."

That same sentence echoed around his thoughts each second of the day. She had been angry with him because he had repeatedly ignored her. "Just forget it, Carter." And that was exactly what he had done, and now he had basically ruined her life.

Three Days Later . . .

Curiosity got the better of Carter, and he decided to go and see how Lucy was doing. He stood outside the window to her room and looked in. He could see her small figure lying still in the bed. "How did this happen?" he wondered over and over again. The morning sun cast rays over her sleeping face. He knew that he could have stayed and watched her all day. His back, however, had other ideas so he started to leave.

"You can go in if you like," a nurse with a quiet voice told him.

After a minute he decided he would. "After all," he reasoned with himself, "she is asleep." Sitting next to her was much easier on his back. He watched her closely and listened to the rhythmical sounds of her breath. After half an hour, he got up to stretch. He glanced out the window and noted that the room had an amazing view.

"Carter." Her voice broke the silence. He spun around to face her.

"You're awake," he said nervously, avoiding her watchful eyes.

"Yes," she smiled. "I'm glad you came. I've been wondering how you are."

"You have? I'm getting better. How about you?"

"Oh me . . . well I've been better. But, I'm still here, fighting away."

His face darkened. "Oh, Luce, you don't know how sorry I am."

"For what?" She studied him closely. His eyes were filled with guilt and remorse.

"This mess."

"Come here." She held out her hand to him, which he took reluctantly.

"I never meant for this to happen to you . . . it's all my fault."

"No, it's not Carter, but I'm going to get though this . . . and so are you."

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"Oh, John," she said. Calling him by his first name sounded strange to her. "There is nothing to forgive . . . I just want my life back."

"I know what you mean. I feel so helpless," he admitted.

"Can we just be friends? I mean start over and forget the past?"

"I'd like that." He smiled weakly.

"Good." She smiled back at him.

They talked some more until Carter had to leave.

"Will you stop by tomorrow?" Lucy asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I will," Carter promised. "Bye."

Lucy rested her head back against her pillow. It was a relief to have sorted things out with Carter. She found it hard to believe he had so much guilt over what had happened to her. "Maybe he doesn't think me to be just an annoying student after all." At least now some things in her life were coming together. "This may be just the beginning, but at least I've started to put things back in place."