I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

If I eat ramen one more time I will possibly stab EVERYONE. Naruto has officially driven me over the wall; he has to die. He's affecting my life in every way, now. He makes me angry, insane, and mean. Like for example, this morning when I slammed the door on the obese nine year old, who was selling Girl Scout cookies and told her to choke on a Thin Mint or lose some weight. But today, he drew the line. I can never go back to school again...

"Hinata!" I greeted her as I walked in the door, Naruto grumpily trailing behind.

"Oh. S-Sakura, Good M-M-M-M-Morning." She stuttered, blushing as soon as she saw the blonde dumbass.

Naruto studied her for a second.

"Hey" he said to her, nodding his head.

Hinata looked like she would faint at any moment.

"What's up with your hair?" Naruto asked Hinata randomly, breaking the silence.

"Shut the hell up." I warned him.

"I mean it's like a freaking bowl cut. And what the hell happened to your pupils? Are you blind or what?" He ignored my warning, then scratched the back of his head, Ash Ketchum style; Hinata looking very faint "But then again it must be kind of helpful like when you get stoned then your pupils won't get dilated 'cuz you don't have any so then no one can tell you burn. Wait, do you? 'cuz it's okay you can tell me." He grinned. She fainted and I kicked him in the shin. Dumbass. No wonder he's single. There was no way Sharpova was meeting him. God forbid, he asks how long it took her to grow her mustache and she eats him whole. The last thing I needed that day was to fish out a hyperactive blonde kid out of that beached whale. Yes, I know what you're thinking. Why are you so mean to her? She's one of your best buddies. And yes, that's true but that doesn't mean I don't think she's ugly. Well, Naruto meets her anyway and you know what happens. He says hi she says hi. He says something stupid she eats him. The janitor comes to scrape a very damp Naruto off the roof of her mouth and everyone continues on with their day.

"Ughhh That was so nasty." He complained, still damp and selling of sweat, fat, and moldy gummy worms.

"SHUT UP." I consoled him.

"I'm so bored. This school sucks. I hate this. No hot people and it's boring." He continued to bitch.

"Naruto! Just shut the fuck up!" I kicked his shin again.

"Oww...stop it, that hurts, ya know."

"Duh. If it didn't hurt I wouldn't do it. Now be quiet if you like having knee caps."

Naruto finally shut up. I guess he really likes having knee caps.

"Shit, We're late. Naruto hurry up!"

He looked up from the water fountain he had been drinking from. I grabbed his hand and rushed down the empty hallway and nearly collided with none other than Sasuke. He stared at me then Naruto then our hands. I quickly released Narutos hand. I could feel Sasukes coal eyes trailing back towards my face and I blushed. I mentally cursed myself! Sasuke is the enemy I hissed at inner Sakura who was once again dancing like a monkey, exclaiming that Sasuke was jealous.

"Careful. PDA isn't allowed in school. You could get in trouble. And we wouldn't want that, would we?" Sasuke whispered in my ear, as he brushed past.

"It's not PDA. I'm trying to get to class on time." I explained through gritted teeth, trying my best not to blush again. Why does my "enemy" have to be so hot?

"I'm so sure." He smirked and walked past us.

"Yeah. Naruto and I are just friends and- Hey jackass I'm talking to you!" I screamed at Sasuke as he walked away.

"Another time. I've got to get to class I don't want to be late." He said.

"Oh shit now I'm even later!" I said. Then suddenly Naruto grabbed my hand and dragged me in the opposite direction.

"YOU DOOFUS! CLASS IS THAT WAY!" I screamed, pointing in the opposite direction.

He put a finger to my lips.

"Sush. I know that. We're not going to class."

I tore my hand away.

"Well, I am."

"No, you're not." He said, very seriously, it almost scared me. Then he picked me up and went out the school entrance.

"You're going me. To Home Depot!" He exclaimed.

"I hate that place. I'm going home."

He caught my arm. "Where do you want to go then?"

"Home."

"Fine. But only on one condition. I get to sleep with you in your bed. Just like we used to. No sexual contact." He smirked.

"Dipshit, I get bruises sleeping a six feet away from you. Imagine what would happen if we slept together. No fucking way."

"Sakura..." He whined.

"No."

"Well, then I guess we need to go to Home Depot. Ahh, it's beautiful in there, all those chain saws and buckets of paint and screw drivers, foreign cashiers, and cement ba-"

"Hrrrnnngh."

Inner Sakura sighs.

"YOU IDIOT! Here's your chance to finally get over Sasuke and you say hrrrnngh! Have I taught you nothing? And even if you do get some action it's not like you need to save yourself for Sasuke or anyone. It's a win/win situation, here"

By this time Naruto was singing Pretty Woman(probably not the best choice of song since it's about a prostitute) and was on his knees.

"Fine. I trust you let's go home."

And we did.

That night

"Time for bed!" Naruto exclaimed, after I kicked his ass in Donkey Konga eleven times.

"Mmmm." I said, not interested, remembering the deal I made with him. I pulled back the cover, already in my pjs and climbed in the bed, Naruto followed.

"Do you think you could cook eggs on a barbeque?" He asked.

I raised an eyebrow at the randomness of the question but answered nonetheless. "Yes."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Done it before."

"What about an emu egg? Do you think you could cook an emu egg on a barbeque?"

"Isn't an emu one of those big and evil Australian birds?" He nodded and I considered. "How big do you think their eggs are?"

"About as big as The Darkness popularity should be."

"Not a fan of The Darkness, I take it? Me neither."

"Who do you think would survive if you and me both got hit by a bus - at the same time, same bus?"

"Naruto, what is with all these weird questions?"

"The same thing that's with you jumping me earlier. Now answer."

I shook my head. He made no sense what so ever sometimes.

"I grabbed your hand so you would hurry up."

"We'll get to that later but, first, who do you think would survive?"

"Me."

"I thought so. But why?"

"Because you smoke and I don't."

"That can't be the reason, scientist, I don't smoke. It just doesn't add up."

"Because Rita Hayworth can't act or because Hasslehoff is really a giraffe in disguise?"

He laughed "You are so weird Sakura."

I snuggled up to him maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. "Just because I thought Po was the purple teletubbie and not the red one doesn't mean I'm weird."

"How could you not know which one Po is?" Naruto demanded. "Po is the gay, red one - everyone knows that."

"Well, I thought he was purple and gay. You know, like Barney?" I asked.

"Don't insult Barney or I'll burn your toast tomorrow."

"You never make me breakfast." "Well, I'll start tomorrow so I can burn it."

"I just won't eat it then," I said snottily.

He gave me a serious look, the first one he'd given me in quite a while. "Sakura, if I make you toast you will eat that toast. You don't eat enough and just look at you. You're skin and bones."

I ran my hand over his ribs. "You can talk."

"Ah, but I can only talk about silly but extremely important things - like you not eating my toast."

"How long are you staying?" I changed the subject which, of course, he fell for.

"Why?" He smirked. "Do you want me to stay?"

I kissed his cheek. "Do you want to stay?"

"Of course I do." What was I saying? Naruto had to leave.

"Well then don't be a gremlin and stay." I found myself saying.

"Gremlins are the CIA's spy network of squirrels best friends."

"No, wombats are the squirrels' best friends."

"Why do we both keep on referring to Australian animals?" Naruto asked, nipping my shoulder gently.

I moaned and then pushed him away so I could answer his question just friends I forced my to mind keep repeating that.

"I think it's because of some disease we have but I can't be sure."

He looked at me anxiously. "Well then how can we be sure?"

"By running tests."

"What sort of tests?" He asked, looking at me with all of his attention.

"First, urine samples."

"How can we be sure what the urine samples mean?"

"By having blood tests as well and seeing if our blood is still red."

"How do the urine and blood tests relate though?"

I tried to think. "Well obviously if our blood is red our piss will be yellow."

"You're a dork," he told me while pressing kisses to the inside of my elbow. He tried to pull me closer to him. "Come here."

"Naruto-"

Then the phone rang. Who the hell calls at 3 a.m? Neji. And of course it was him.

"Hello?" I gruffly answered the phone.

"Greetings and salutations, Sakura and how are we on this, fine, fine morning?" Neji cheerfully greeted me.

"Neji? Why do you call so fucking early! I live two doors down from you!"

"Because I can. Technology is a wonderful thing you should embrace it."

"Not at 3 a.m" I said, getting up out of bed then getting back in with a bowl of ice cream shifting my eyes from the bowl of melted ice cream that was my breakfast to see what Naruto was doing. His eyes didn't leave mine so I didn't notice he'd stolen some of my breakfast until I saw his finger appear infront of his face and his tongue lick all my ice cream off. I glared at him, more playful than serious, and moved my bowl out of his reach, while trying to listen to Neji.

Naruto smirked and I shuddered involuntarily when he gave me that same level of intensity in the look. It's Naruto, remember, Naruto, little innocent prankster who used to make sand castles with, I had to remind myself before looking away. He took this opportunity to scoop up some of my breakfast again to eat. I grabbed the bowl and held it away from him, high above my head. He growled and launched himself at me.

"Holy fuck!" I gasped when the ice cream spilt all over us, mainly me. We were knocked to the ground since I couldn't kept my balance with his added weight and now Naruto was hovering over ; somewhat straddling my bottom half; as he smiled victoriously down at me. I sniffed haughtily. "What are you looking at?"

"The most beautiful thing in the world covered in ice cream." He couldn't keep the cheeky grin off his face. I grinned.

"Oh, did we get Jessica Alba?"

"No, We didn't."

"Well, then I have no idea who you're talking about."

He giggled.

"Sakura, I think you should clean yourself up, that ice cream is seriously everywhere on you."

"Well who's fault is that?"

"Mine?"

"Yep, so you should clean it up - the paper towels are .."

I stopped talking when I felt something wet running across my cheek. It was Naruto's tongue.

He was licking me... I don't know why, but I suddenly couldn't breathe. It was Naruto we're talking about. Naruto. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them Naruto had stopped and pulled away. He was smiling down at me.

"Weren't you talking to Neji?"

"Oh .. right," I muttered, my eyes travelling to the discarded phone. I looked back at Naruto.

"He's probably hung up already. Besides, this is much more interesting."

He looked down at me with something I couldn't read. I'd never been good with stuff like that.

"Isn't it?"

"Very."

My gaze wandered to his lips and I licked mine when I saw they had ice cream on them, just waiting to be lapped up.

"Uh, Naruto you have something on ..uh, on you.."

"So do you," he responded, leaning down and carefully licking the tip of my nose. I stared at him as he leaned his face very close to mine.

"Well, are you going to clean me off?"

My gaze became fixated on his lips as I considered if I should. The Sasuke part of me said in reminder, friend, he's your friend but I didn't want to listen to it. Oh, what the hell, I thought as I leant up towards Narutos mouth. I'm horny dammit and I'm single plus, I'm supposed to be over that douche bag.

My lips almost touched his but then he sat back teasingly. My jaw dropped and I glared.

I hate him so much right now.

"I knew it!" He suddenly exclaimed triumphantly. When he saw my puzzled expression, he explained, "You've been acting weird when I first got here. You were acting so nice and then you didn't so I -"

"I have not been acting weird," I protested.

"Yeah, you have - you've been acting as if you really, really hate me. And I know why?"

Okay, now I'm interested.

"Why?"

"Sexual tension Sakura." He leant closer.

"You want to fuck me."

My mouth opened in shock and my eyes narrowed. He was so fucking crude he sounded like Neji. I decided I should try a different tactic.

"I think it's you who wants to fuck me."

Naruto squealed. "So glad you agreed," He told me before kissing my lips roughly. At first I froze in shock - I hadn't expected him to react this way. He was meant to back off, joke about it in disgusting context the next day and then forget about the incident until he decided to try it again.

Because, yes it has happened before and yes he always tries it again. But it never gets this far. And this time I did nothing to stop him.