I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Day two with the lesbian. After living with guys for a brief stint and a day with dyke woman I've already picked up some of their language.

"Ugga Ugga hiking boots Ugga Ugga!" I said in broken lesbian. I'm hoping it means don't rape me or take me to your leader. Perhaps we can come to an agreement of some sort. Like them not coming near me and me throwing them lip gloss. That works for me.

She shrugged. "Ugga Ugga Me hungry!"

I don't need to like other girls to figure that one out. I'm running out of lip gloss. Oh Lord, have mercy! When I get drunk I only have a limited amount of lip gloss offhand. I'm too young to be eaten by a lesbian! I mean, really, I'm not even legal. I'm going to die a virgin. But if she does eat me she at least has to shave first. So unsanitary, lesbians nowadays. Beards are so full of germs. Ick. It's called a razor, sasquatch! Come on!

Life is a bitch. And when you finally accept that she has puppies. In my case, jail life is a lesbian and when I accepted it, it ate all my lip gloss. In other words, the worst day ever gets worse. I heard it coming, literally, a mile away.

I heard it, amist all the "Uggas" and grunts: a strong chanting of "NOT IN THE BUTT!" said by none other than Naruto Uzumaki. Not the fishcake. The guy. The guy I cheated on to be specific. Really. I mean, out of all the jail cells in the freaking jail it has to be this one. I swear, this is not karma but some fucked up story made by two short twelve year old Asian girls whose Birthdays are coming up pretty soon (A/NHint, hint). Who am I kidding? It's karma. I cheated on the guy! My thoughts were pushed aside as the stubby officer dragged a shivering Naruto in the cell. As our eyes met he turned away from me. I don't blame him.

"Ugga?" Dyke woman looked up from the small pot lip gloss with a questionable look on her face. God, I really hope that lip-shizzle is poisonous.

Anyhow, the officer spoke fluent lesbian and grunted back an answer. If I'm correct I think might have said:

He needed time away from the gay biker.

Or maybe:

Sometimes I eat people raw with plastic spoons.

I'm not quite sure which. I turned away from the conversing sasquatches and faced Naruto. I didn't know what to say. Sorry isn't an option considering he got raped because of me. Sorry just doesn't cut it for that kind of stuff. I mean, if you got in jail for drinking underage, which you only did because your girlfriend cheated on you but then came to bail you out, only to reject you AGAIN, not to mention ditch you so you ended up getting ass raped by a gay biker plus you have a tattoo of the name of a transvestite hooker tattooed on your arm, sorry would not cut it for you either. Naruto is no exception no matter how unhuman he may seem.

"Naruto-" I stopped myself because he turned away from me and began to pee on the wall. In the end I Kiba's advice was the nly advice I used.

"BITCH! YOU DUN BEEN LYING TO ME FOR TEN YEARS! TEN YEARS! AND YOU NEVA EVEN TOLD ME YOU IS A GUY! THAT IS JUST FUCKED UP! YOU SAID 'NARUTO' WAS YOUR COVER NAME!" I screamed. Maybe Kiba isn't as dumb as he looks. Naah.

Naruto scoffed, "If I had a puppet for every time someone told me that one I'd be Mr. Rogers."

"Why can't you forgive me?"

He shot me a all knowing glare.

"Sorry. Stupid question." I lowered my eyes.

"Look, Sakura. I don't love you anymore. Please leave me alone and be happy with Sasuke." He said softly.

"Okay. Whatever." I shrugged.

He glared at me. I shrugged again; hey, if you don't mean it don't say it.

"Maybe I don't want her."

I turned around. And it was like the first time I saw him again.

"Sasuke"

There was no answer. Just a firm kiss on the lips and that was all I needed to know. I know he's a selfish, arrogant, insensitive, jerk. But he's a selfish, arrogant, insensitive jerk I wouldn't mind spending my whole life with and playing Shuffleboard with in retirement. And I hate Shuffleboard.

Okay, how was that? Yes, we know it was crappy and short. We hate this chappie too. Yeah, so anyway we're living with our GBF (Gay Best Friend) Kyle and his senile Grandma. We sadly think Kyle is a bit hot. His boyfriend isn't and he's a bitch.

Here is a link to a picture of both of them if you want to see 'em.

http / i 6 . photobucket . com / albums / y 2 0 3 / Lapang/ 7 9 8 9 6 6 1 7 9l . jpg

(no spaces of course)

If you think Kyle and his boyfriend are both ugly then you are half right. Me and Christian still think Kyle's a bit hot.

Anyway, the reason why we cut this chapter short is because we have a couple of ideas for a new SasuSaku fic so please help us decide which idea we'll turn in to a fic.

1. Sakura is in love with her gay best friend, Sasuke (hopefully not too Ooc) and finds out she has only ten days to live thanks to a unknown terminal illness. So she forms a list of things to do before she dies. Top on her list: Win over Sasuke Uchiha.

2. Sakura owns a sweets shop and has a freakish knack for guessing people's favorite candies. Sasuke's a stoic handy man who comes to the shop because it's his job to fix it up but hates sweets. Except one. But which one? Not even Sakura knows. That's for her to find out. Inspired by the movie Chcolat.

3. Sakura is in the hospital for overdosing on caffine. Sasuke is a male nurse whose forced to watch over her 24/7 for two months in case she sneaks any caffine.

Please, if you don't usually review please review with what idea you want to be made in to a fic. Or maybe you have an idea that's better than my crappy ideas or something you want to add to an idea I have. Just review and tell me.

Love,

Lauren and Christian

(Even though Christian's napping right now)