Chapter 12: When I'm Gone (Black or White)

Now roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone.

"Family of... Nathan Scott?" The nurse in the blue scrubs asked into the waiting room, checking the file in her hand.

"Right here." Lucas announced, as they all stood up.

"He's in surgery, from the police officer's account, and the doctor's analysis, we know he was hit on his left side, after running a red light, and shattered his knee, and broke his arm. He also sustained a head injury, which at this point, the severity of is unknown, we won't know until he is out of surgery. Um. That's all the information I can give, but if you would kindly fill out these forms, and return them to the front desk, please." She informed, handing Deb papers and a clip board.

"Thank you." She breathed. The nurse simply nodded before going back to her business.

--

Part of me is fighting this, but part of me is gone

He saw white, all around him, for what seemed like seconds, then went back to black.

(Nathan's comma dream.)

The white was back, but suddenly it came into focus, and he saw her smiling down at him. A wash of relief flew over him, but quickly as she came she went again. The white blurred in and out again, and she was standing with him, except they weren't smiling anymore. She was crying into the pillow on the bed, and he was throwing things haphazardly into the suitcase, storming about, and shaking his head. He saw himself yell something at the woman on the bed, whose body was now shaking in sobs. He desperately wanted to know what they were saying, he forgot about the white and fighting to get back to it, and drifted off to focus on what they were saying. He heard, muffled then stronger.

"...This isn't about US! It's about YOU wanting to leave ME to play basketball! How don't you see that?" She screamed at him.

"RIGHT! KINDA LIKE YOU LEAVING ME TO SING!"

"You BASTARD! FINE! YOU WANT TO LEAVE! GO AHEAD! I don't need you! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!"

"TRUST ME! I AM!" He yelled, before slamming to the door shut.

He watched as the girl glared at the door angrily for a few moments, before flinging it open and called down the deserted hallway. "No...! I didn't mean it...! Come back! Please...come back..." She cried, before collapsing on the ground. He couldn't help but feel guilty, why did he say those things? He wanted to comfort the woman, hold her in his arms until she stopped crying. But once again, the white blended in, and her sobs became less distinct, until they were no longer heard.

He slurred whispers, it sounded like legal instructions or something, and the white focused again, and he saw himself signing papers, and then taking an infant's car seat in his hand and walking out of the room. Then he saw the woman do the same, wiping tears from her eyes as signed them and gave them back to the business man.

Again, the all-too familiar white hazed over. Except this time the black took it's place. Black, or white, it was like he couldn't decide. He fought for the white. To see the woman's face again, her smile.

--

So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.

"He's out of surgery now, but he slipped into a comma. Once again, I cannot tell you the severity of the head injury, we will have to now wait until he wakes up."

"Which will be when..?"

"Like all commas, its really unsure. The longer he is in a comma, the worse the odds get that he won't wake up, based purely on numbers. So it's pretty much a race against time. You may see him if you wish. Room 203, only two in the room at a time."

--

Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.

The white he was fighting for blurred in again. Except, the woman wasn't there. There was him, and a young girl, and some other woman, not his woman. She was rubbing his back, and whispering into his ear, and oddly enough, he actually seemed to like it. What happened to smile girl? Did he really leave her? He didn't come back and hold her? Who was this other woman? She wasn't smile girl, she didn't smile like her, or even cry. She smiled, but it seemed off.

"...Dad! You promised to play with me!" The young girl exclaimed, throwing a basketball at him, which caused him to look up at her. She had hair like smile girl's.

"Oh, but Natey! I thought you were going to take me to that new restaurant." The other woman cooed as she nibbled on his ear. He looked liked he enjoyed it. The young girl looked annoyed, she didn't like the other woman, that was pretty obvious. And his name wasn't 'Natey' it was Nathan. He knew that at least.

"Quick Game to twenty then I'll shower and we'll go." He told the non-smile girl.

The white blended and cleared again. And he saw smile girl, and himself in the street.

"Hi, Hales." Hales...? HALEY! Smile girl's name was Haley! He could remember!

"Hello, Nathan."

He wanted to hear more of her voice, but he just saw the young girl, apparently there was two of her, and the woman, and Haley all exchanging talking. Neither young girl seemed to like the woman much. They liked Haley though.

But then, the white blurred over, and he heard a seemingly hollow voices talking to him, but no picture came in to focus this time.

--

Everything I am and everything in me.

"Hey dad. It's me and Hannah. Um. They told us to come talk to you. Hannah thinks we should be all kind and gentle, cause hospitals suck, but I think this would be a perfect time to tell you we hate Kristin, since you can't like punish us."

"Nicole! Don't say that!" She whispered. "Anyways, It'd be good if you woke up soon. Mostly because I have only known you like two weeks or something, and I really need a dad."

"Yeah, and being parentless isn't really my wish either."

"We love you. Wake up soon." They finished, kissing him on his cheek and leaving.

Deb and Dan entered next.

"Hey son." "Hi, baby boy."

"Deb, he's 30 years old, just because he's in a comma doesn't make him a baby."

"Shut up Dan. So, Nathan. You need to wake up. The girls need a father, and pretty much there is like a roomful of people waiting for you to get better."

"Yeah. What she said." Dan mumbled.

"Get better soon." She told him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "...baby boy." She whispered so that Dan could hear her.

"Bye son." He waved, before leaving.

--

Wants to be the one you wanted me to be,

He recognized those voices. They were of the two young girls, they called him dad. Nicole, and Hannah, those were his daughters. It clicked, and sounded right. The next set of voices he wanted to laugh at. He couldn't remember who they were, although, they seemed familiar, but they kept yelling at each other. But they called him son. Maybe those were his parents? It all became fuzzy again, and he heard more voices talking to him.

--

I'll never let you down even if I could.

"Hey Nathan. It's me. I don't really know what to say. The girls made me come in. But you do need to wake up, the girls need a father, and Im sure Kristin, wherever she is, needs you too. And I would miss you too, and Lucas, and your parents, and Brooke, and Peyton and Jake. I could go on and on, but just wake up, okay?"

Haley left, and Lucas and Brooke walked in.

"Hey man." "Hey Nate."

"I know you can hear me, but listen. We miss you brother. And we all need you. Especially the girls."

"Yeah, and I know I always told you that I'm only there to make sure you don't screw up, but I think I'd fall apart if you weren't there. I need you too Nathan."

--

I'd give up everything if only for your good.

He heard her voice. He didn't really care about the other two. He heard her. The black blurred over, and he heard shouting, but he fought to hold on to the white, to see the smile and hear her voice. And to talk to Nicole and Hannah...

I Hope you guys understood this Chapter. Kinda confusing, I know.

When I'm Gone is a song by 3 Doors Down.

This chapter was giving Nathan a little insight into Nathan and Haley's break up n sutff.

Um. Thanks for the reviews as always.

Special Thanks go to: RoseRows, TreeHillgirl323, CcScott23, Brucas4ever, and JlsNaley.

Lol i sounded like i was giving a speech "And Special Thanks go to.."

Anyways. Have a good day

Love Katie