The first time he confessed to you, you were both just twelve, starting middle school. He was tall, lanky and his hair was black and messy. He had a cute smile and quite frankly, you thought he was adorable.
Until he opened his mouth.
"Hey, you're pretty and I'm cute. Together we'd be Pretty Cute."
You rejected him immediately, turning away and planning to get as far away from him as possible. It was your first day at middle school and already you had met a weirdo.
He grabbed your wrist, "I'm being serious, you're so pretty. What's your name?"
"My parents told me to not speak to strangers."
"And my parents told me to speak up to the girls I like."
"Your parents are weird." You replied, flicking his forehead.
"My parents are dead."
"Oh." You immediately froze in shock. "I'm sorry. That was mean of me."
He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'll accept your apology if you agree to be my girlfriend."
You frowned. You were sorry, but you barely even knew him, why would you agree to be his girlfriend? You rejected him again and then ran away.
You'd thought that after rejecting him, he'd leave you alone and totally forget about you, but you were wrong. So wrong. He just would not leave you alone. You were always on his mind and he had made it his goal to seek you out in the halls every day, pestering you on how much he likes you.
As seasons changed, his love for you still stayed the same. During second year of middle school, you heard the news of him becoming the President of a rising gang named Black Dragons. If it weren't for the fact that you witnessed him and his gang riding motorbikes home from school, you wouldn't have believed it. Because who would? You knew that he was physically weak, you've seen him getting into fights and getting his ass handed to him every single damn time.
"Do you have nothing better to do?" You said, as Shinichiro decided to abandon his gang duties and walk you home from school.
"What better thing is there than spending time with the girl I like?"
You let out an exasperated sigh. "Shinichiro."
"I like you." He grinned.
"Stop it. It's getting old."
"My feelings for you will never change, Y/n. I will always love you and my heart will always be with you. Even in my next life, my heart will still find you and be yours."
How foolish, you thought, to give his heart to a girl to hold when she wouldn't even hesitate to crush it to pieces with her bare hands.
The tenth time he confessed to you, he was so sure of himself that this was the one. The one where you'll finally accept and reciprocate his feelings. At least that was what Takeomi had said to him. Apparently girls loved flowers and would never turn down the person who gave them because they were the ultimate gesture of love.
The outcome was not how he predicted it to be.
Shinichiro's eyes lit up in hope when you accepted his bouquet of flowers, only for you to pick out every single flower and give it to passing girls.
"You look like you need cheering up!" You said, as you handed out the last flower to a sad looking girl.
Shinichiro shook his head in amusement. This was not how Takeomi had said it'd turn out, but he couldn't help but laugh. Every little thing about you amused him. "Careful, or the other girls might start falling for me." He joked.
You rolled your eyes, "Good, then you can make one of them your girlfriend and stop annoying me all the time."
"No way. I only have eyes for you."
The fifteenth time he confessed to you was during your third year in high school. You were trying to fall asleep when loud revving noises disturbed your peace. Annoyed, you flung your covers back and threw open the window. Your eyes widened.
Sano Shinichiro was stupidly grinning up at you from his bike, along with his friends Takeomi, Benkei and Wakasa.
"It's eleven in the evening, dumbass!" You hissed, looking around. "I'm trying to have my beauty sleep and I assume so are all my neighbours!"
"You're already beautiful enough, Y/n, so come down!" Shinichiro said, "I wanna see your pretty face."
You stuck your middle finger up. The three idiots behind him laughed.
"Come on, pretty girl, I ain't leaving til you come down."
Sighing, you pulled an oversized hoodie over your camisole and shorts, and padded down the stairs, careful not to wake your be honest, you were surprised that they haven't been woken by the loud rumbles of the motorbikes. You were glad that they could sleep through just about anything.
Opening the door, you raised your brows when you saw three little kids sitting on the curb.
"Did you just kidnap these kids?" You asked. "I'm not letting you hide them in my house, Shinichiro!"
"Is this your girlfriend, nii-chan?" The blonde kid said, looking eerily similar to Shinichiro. "The one that you won't stop yappin' about?"
"Mikey, shut up or I'll stop buying you dorayaki!" Shinichiro shouted, his face turning red.
Mikey stared blankly at him. "Does that mean you'll still buy me taiyaki and omurice though?"
"Mikey, just... shut up."
"Is there a reason why you're here?" You asked Shinichiro.
He scratched his neck sheepishly. "Umm yeah, I've got a gang meeting to attend and our grandfather is away right now so I was wondering if you could look after the kids for me."
Unimpressed, you crossed your arms. "Will I be getting paid?"
"With my kisses, yes."
You pulled a disgusted face. "Forget it." You walked up to the bored kids, squatting down so you could talk to them. You smiled at the only girl among the group, she had a slight resemblance to Shinichiro and Mikey. "So what are your names?"
The girl looked at you warily before replying. "Emma."
"I'm Mikey!"
"I'm Ed, short for Edward!"
Emma shook her head at the boys. "They're both idiots. He's Baji."
Kids will be kids. They're so cute. You offered your hand to Emma and she shyly put her hand in yours, grasping them.
"I love you, Y/n." Shinichiro said as you walked past him to usher the kids into your home. "Thank you."
You didn't bother to reply and shut the door.
"She loves me really." You heard Shinichiro say.
"You're deluded." Wakasa scoffed.
"But she agreed to look after the kids for me!" Shinichiro said. "That's what girlfriends do right?"
"Like she had a choice." Takeomi said. "And when did she ever agree to be your girlfriend?"
Benkei counted with his fingers. "What's this, the fifteenth rejection?"
"Fuck you all, this is why you don't get girls." And with that, the roar of motorcycles and laughter faded into the distance.
You shook your head, a smile playing on your lips. Stupid Shinichiro.
"So you guys wanna eat anything?" You asked, turning to the kids.
"I want dorayaki! And taiyaki!" Mikey replied. "Oh, and omurice with a flag on top!"
"Jesus Christ, does Shinichiro not feed you?" You said.
"Mikey, you literally ate a whole box of dorayaki before we got here." Baji said.
The last and twentieth time he confessed to you was a week after his 23rd birthday. It was a warm summer night, the city brimming with life. He had some how convinced you to ride on the back of his motorcycle and surprisingly you enjoyed it far more than you had anticipated.
Excitement coursed through your body as the motorcycle purred between your legs. You closed your eyes, savouring the feeling of your hair flapping behind in the cool summer breeze.
"Are you enjoying this?" Shinichiro shouted over the roar of the wind.
"Yes! Best. Day. Of. My. Life!" You shouted back with a big grin.
Your eyes sparkled as the Shibuya residence blurred past you like a fast winding movie. Even though, Shibuya had a bad reputation for its high crime rates and distasteful brothels, it was absolutely breathtaking at night with all its flashy signs and billboards. You never realised the true beauty of it until this night.
Or was everything seemingly more beautiful because of the boy in front, that you were holding tightly onto? The boy that smelt like faint cigarette smoke and motor oil with a tint of sweetness? The smell should be off putting, but you couldn't help but tighten your arms around his waist, burying your face closer into his back, enjoying the comfort it gave you.
I think I'm starting to fall for you, Shinichiro. Stupid Shinichiro. Stupid heart.
Unknown to you, Shinichiro felt warm all over, tiny sparks prickling his skin as you hugged him tighter, his heart rapidly beating against his rib cage. He had a stupid smile tugging his lips and flushed red cheeks, and for a second he let himself believe that you were his girl. He wanted this feeling to last forever; he wanted to continue loving you forever.
"We're here, Y/n." Shinichiro said, killing the engine. "Y-You can let go now."
You blushed, instantly retreating your arms to take off the helmet that he lent you. "Where are we?" You stared up at the tall dark building towering over you. It was abandoned, with shattered glass windows that were covered in grime and a door that was crumbling apart. There were wood planks nailed across the frame as a barricade, but it was a pretty lousy attempt since it was mouldy and rotting away.
"Do you trust me?"
"Not really."
Shinichiro grinned. "That hurts, but wise choice nonetheless." He grabbed your hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world and pulled you along.
You guys ducked under the planks and in the darkness, you felt Shinichiro fumbling around in his pockets. Suddenly, light flooded through from the flash torch in his hand. Your eyes slowly adjusted to the sudden brightness and you looked around. Fallen debris littered the floor, walls close to collapsing, ceiling splattered with mould and a tangible musty smell that made you grimace.
"Oh my fucking god, is that a rat?" You sqeauled, taking a step back as you saw a blur of grey run past and into the darkness.
"Probably." Shinichiro shrugged.
"You were suppose to reassure me and say no."
He squeezed your hand. "Relax." He tugged you and then you were both walking up a set of stairs that seem to go on forever.
At last, there was a door at the end and as soon as Shinichiro pushed it open, you gasped. You guys were literally on top of the world. You rushed over to the railings, your hair billowing behind you from the wind. Looking down, you could see everything in the bustling city of Shibuya. Lots of people were still milling around like ants, the traffic still busy and noisy despite the late hour and how the neon signs still shone brightly into the dark sky. It was a city that never slept.
"So pretty." You murmured.
"Yeah," Shinichiro replied, looking straight at you.
You turned your head and looked at him, really looked at him. His black hair, messy and dishevelled from the helmet, his cheeks warm and pink, his cheekbones sharp and defined, and his eyes - you swore had stars in them as they gleamed prettily under the night sky. He was beautiful, devastatingly beautiful.
"Are you checking me out?"
Of course he had to ruin it by opening that mouth of his.
You pretended to puke. "Sorry, but what is there to look at?"
Shinichiro walked up to you and rested his arms on the railing, looking out into the distance. "Why are you always so mean to me, Y/n? You know, people often say that if a girl's being mean to you, it means she likes you. Do you like me?"
"Shinichiro, we're not in elementary school anymore." You deadpanned.
"Answer my question."
"I-" The words were on the tip of your tongue, but they wouldn't come out. You were unsure. He was annoying, unbearable at times, down right stupid and can't fight to save his ass, but still you didn't dislike him.
You liked the goofy, stupid side of him, you liked his dumb jokes, his kindness, his smile, his laughter, his affection for his friends and family, his obsession with motorcycles, hell you even liked his god-awful singing, but most of all you liked how even after these past ten years nothing about him has changed. He was still the silly, carefree kid that chased after you despite the number of rejections. He was still here, never not by your side. That's why it's always so hard to completely push Shinichiro away.
Shinichiro put his hand over your mouth. "Actually, don't answer me now. Give me your answer tomorrow after you've properly thought it through."
He bent his head down and planted a kiss on the crown of your head. "I love you." he whispered into your hair, pulling you into his chest.
It's been ten years and still, it was you he's saying those words to.
You never had a chance to give Shinichiro your answer. One phone call that night changed everything.
"Hello?" You yawned, answering the phone.
"Y/n-chan?" The small voice quivered.
You sat up. "Mikey? What's wrong?"
"I-It's nii-chan, h-he's dead."
You dropped the phone.