No Way In Hell (a Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction) by Seth's Kiss:
A/N: Hi there, I'm Seth's Kiss. And I'm currently sick, as in feverish, stuck in bed sick. ...What kind of 'sick' did you think I meant? XD As always, any advice and constructive criticism within your reviews are all warmly and openly welcomed. However, if this fic offends you, in any way, and you'd rather not bother with reading it until the end, here's my very lovely advice. Just don't read it. Thank you for your consideration.
Warnings: This fanfiction will be rated M, out of sheer paranoia. See, my first fic (a Bleach fic) is very dark (and I mean, DARK) and I'd rather you didn't stumble upon it if you're underage or faint-hearted. And if you'll read any of my other fics from here on out, you'll be sure to notice that 'fluff' is not my forte. HOWEVER, this fic has no violence, no cuss words, nothing sexually inclined (okay, maybe a little; but it's just insinuations, nothing big), really a short idea for a fic the fever blessed me with and which I instantly got down to writing it. Again, if these themes or anything else in this fic doesn't appeal to you, because it offends you or anything. Please do not read.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters, they belong to Kazuki Takahashi (who I very much ADORE for ever creating the Seto Kaiba); I do own everything else (such as the ideas used to create this plot). I'd also like to apologize beforehand if any of the characters are in any way O.O.C, so let me know when you think they are. I mean, I'll try as hard as I can to keep them in character, but I tend to let my writing take over my imagination at times (yeah, it's a thing, I swear).
Official Summary: Kaiba Seto and Jounouchi Katsuya are VERY distressed to find out that their respective siblings, Mokuba and Shizuka, are dating in secret. So they decide to join forces and bring the relationship to an end...only to discover other things to be entirely distressed about.
Chapter 1: Say What?!
Jounouchi Katsuya had a relatively simple, if not slightly messed up, life. He wasn't complaining about it though, as it was mostly tolerable. There were ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups, but hey, some people had it worse. So yeah, his life was pretty 'ok', overall.
However, while it was rare, the unexpected wasn't exactly something he dealt well with. Like at all. And boy, today specifically, wasn't it just unexpected all the way?
Having had the day off, Jounouchi was back at home, within his flat, all relaxed and at ease as he lounged about and did what one would typically do on a day off, which, for him, included watching TV, reading magazines, reorganizing his cards and so on. Nothing odd there.
Then around noon-ish or something like that, he received a phone call, his mobile's ringtone going off and playing Victorious by Panic at the Disco (1). Again, nothing odd there.
BUT, it was the voice on the other end of the line that made EVERYTHING odd. It was Kaiba. Kaiba was freaking calling him right now. Seto Kaiba. THE SETO KAIBA.
Jounouchi had momentarily shut down, as thousands of questions ran rampant through his mind, the most pertinent ones being 'Kaiba was calling him?', 'Why?' and 'How the hell did richboy get his freaking number?'
Still in startled shock, he barely heard the other young man telling him to open the door for him, in the upcoming three minutes that followed. Once that registered in, the blonde stared disbelievingly at the door when the bell rang, Kaiba having hung up exactly three minutes ago.
Heading for the door and opening it, Jounouchi indeed came face to face with Kaiba, dressed in his trademark attire of the white coat and silver studs here and there, the brunet's face set in that permanent threatening scowl of his, which made Jounouchi briefly wonder something. Did the other even have another facial expression?
"Are you going to keep staring on like that with me standing here in the doorway, or are you going to let me in?" resounded Kaiba's deep sarcastic voice as he crossed his arms and arched an elegant eyebrow at the other male.
Wordlessly moving aside, Jounouchi let the other slip in, the whole situation too surreal for him to retort or react just yet. By the time he finally got a grip on himself, the CEO was already seated on the couch, having made himself comfortable, and was staring in Jounouchi's direction expectantly, apparently waiting for the blonde to initiate the conversation.
Which is what Jounouchi did as he leaned against the wall, not wanting to be anywhere too close to the other, and frowned at Kaiba: "What do you want, rich boy?"
"I came here to talk to you-"
"Obviously," snorted the blonde with a roll of his chocolate brown eyes, leading Kaiba in turn to narrow his own icy blue eyes, while his jaw clenched in clear irritation.
"Let me finish," stated the brunet firmly with an impatient pat of his long, elegant fingers on his lap, almost as if he was typing away on a keyboard "I came here to talk to you because I'm deeply concerned about Mokuba."
Brown eyes widened slightly: "The kid? Haven't seen him in awhile... How is he?"
"I'd like to say fine, but..." trailed off Kaiba as he glanced sideways with raised eyebrows, as if debating with himself on how to formulate the rest of his own sentence.
The rather uncharacteristic hesitation on the CEO's part led Jounouchi to question anxiously, concern colouring his tone: "Did somethin' happen? To Mokie, I mean."
"Unfortunately."
"It's not that...bad, is it?"
"That's exactly what it is."
"Oh my God," uttered Jounouchi in slight horror as he instantly thought of the worst "Has he been kidnapped again?!"
Eyebrow twitching in faint annoyance when the other said 'again', Kaiba sighed: "Not quite."
Confused now, the blonde frowned at the other's half-given replies before he demanded irately: "And what is that supposed to mean?"
Inhaling sharply before exhaling leisurely, the CEO drawled out grimly: "Mokuba is currently in the process of dating."
"Uh...what?" uttered Jonouchi incredulously, beyond dumbfounded by this point - both by the sudden swerve the conversation had taken and with whom he was having this talk with - not really sure he heard right.
Genuinely aggravated, the brunet gritted out painstakingly: "You heard me perfectly well."
"Yeah, actually I did," confirmed the blonde male before he snorted indulgently, trying and failing to hold back laughing in the other's face "Wait, aren't you bein' a little extreme? He's a big boy now - sixteen, right? Give him some space, Kaiba, come on."
The young blue-eyed man merely glared at the other, before he sighed exasperatedly: "Again, you didn't exactly let me finish. He's dating your sister."
It actually took a while for Katsuya Jounouchi to fully register what Seto Kaiba had just said - who patiently waited for the other to absorb the rather brutal impact - and when it did register within the blonde's head that had momentarily gone brain-dead, he saw red.
"HE'S DOING WHAT?! NO, I FREAKIN' HEARD YOU, KAIBA! AND I'M GONNA KILL YOU! TODAY, YOU DIE!"
Looking up at the blond now looming menacingly over him, just a few steps away, the brunet male would have actually scoffed if the situation wasn't as dire on his end, so he simply chose to shrug and regard the other loftily, rather indifferent to other's lividness: "Who's being extreme now, hm? And I have nothing to do with any of this, silly man."
Still raging mad, and struggling to contain it, the blonde glared down at Kaiba, not believing the other for one second: "So why the heck are you tellin' me this then, if it ain't just to rub it in my face, huh?!"
"Actually, when I came here, it's because I thought you were behind this. Apparently not. You didn't even know. Then again, getting to me through Mokuba by using your sister would be too an elaborate plan for you."
"Did you just-? I really don't like what you're implyin', Kaiba," grounded out Jounouchi, whilst a collection of veins throbbed in silent Brooklyn fury upon his forehead(2).
"I wouldn't worry. Most people don't," the other retorted smoothly, arrogantly even, whilst his lips quirked upwards into a subtle yet rather scathing smirk.
Crossing his arms and turning his head away, the blonde huffed tetchily: "Tch! Well, I ain't like that, Kaiba - the hell! That kind of schemin' sounds more like your style."
Kaiba's expression instantly hardened at that: "I would never ask Mokuba to do such a thing."
"Yeah, well me neither," declared Jounouchi steadfastly and the other knew better than to doubt the honesty from within those chocolate brown eyes that never lied "I didn't even know Shizuka was with Mokuba, let alone datin' at all, good Lord. ...How long?"
"It's been exactly eight months and three days."
Once again, the blonde freaked out: "EIGHT FREAKIN' MONTHS?! How the hell did I miss this?!"
"Because you're an idiot," deadpanned the CEO in all seriousness.
Jounouchi shot a nasty glare at the other: "How about you then, huh? When did you find out?"
"Three days ago."
"Then why the heck are you being SO arrogant about it, hm?"
Kaiba simply stared at him as though Jounouchi was the biggest idiot alive: "I still found out before you."
"Why you..." seethed the blonde lividly, itching to punch the smugness right off the other's features, before exhaling out loudly and running a hand through the unruly mess of his hair "Does Mokuba know that you found out?"
"No. He doesn't know that I know," admitted the brunet male, as he crossed his legs and stapled his hands together before resting them on one of his knees "Found out on complete accident on top of that. Mokuba is far too careful, and I haven't found an effective way to pin him yet."
Shuffling nervously as he considered all this unexpected information dumped upon him, Jounouchi asked uneasily: "So, now that we...that you know, what will you do?"
"I plan on ending their relationship," replied Kaiba, almost immediately, looking away "Subtly, gently - they're just kids after all - but I will end it. It just won't work out. Not with us two in the background. It'd be a horrific disaster."
Initially stunned by the other's thoughtfulness on the matter of considering their siblings' feelings, Jounouchi actually let out a laugh at that last part: "I second that."
"Well, that's a first," commented Kaiba as a smirk lazily found its way back upon his face "Are you agreeing with me, Make-inu (3)?"
"Shut the heck up," spat out the other, aggravated, before crossing his arms tetchily "Still doesn't tell me how you're plannin' on doin' this."
"Do you wish for me to answer or to 'shut the heck up'?" deadpanned Kaiba after a torturous minute of deliberate and utter silence "Make up your mind."
"KA-I-BA..."
Genuinely amused at the other's unfiltered reactions, Kaiba then sobered up completely, now speaking in all seriousness: "I'll work something out. Eventually."
"How...How deep is their relationship, exactly?"
"I told you. I found out about it only three days ago."
"So, you don't know?"
"Bravo. You're not so dumb after all. Congratulations are in order. Should I order some cake and pie for the occasion?"
"Hey, rich boy," grounded out Jounouchi cantankerously as he pointed a finger right in the other's face "In your freakin' castle, it's your rules, sure, but here, you're in my house. Stop slightin' me or get the heck out."
"As if I'd stay more than I have to," snorted Kaiba scathingly with a roll of his eyes, as he swiftly stood up and, without further ado, headed straight for the exit "Now that we got our facts straight, I have no reason to remain here any longer."
Staring wordlessly at the departing brunet, a sudden thought made the blonde run after the other: "Hey, wait up! Do you have like, uh, spy-tech or somethin'?"
Turning to face the blonde in unabashed bewilderment, the young blue-eyed man spoke slowly: "I'm a CEO, not 007. Still, colour me intrigued, why the question?"
"Well," began Jounouchi sheepishly, kind of second-guessing himself now "Since you said you didn't get to pin Mokuba, I have an idea that might-"
"You? An idea? In the same sentence?" uttered the brunet disbelievingly, before he raised a hand to his mouth dramatically and his eyebrows flew upwards "Dear me, the world must be coming to an end."
"Ka-"
"Come now, don't give me that look," chided Kaiba with his widest smirk yet, as he gestured to where he was currently standing, right outside of the front door "I'm not in your house anymore, meaning I can be myself again."
"You never stopped bein' yourself!" snapped Jounouchi, beyond fed up, before he seethed out from between tightly clenched teeth "Gosh, I hate you!"
"True. On both statements. And just so we're clear, the feeling's completely mutual, in case you were wondering."
"Argh! Will you just give me a damn minute to hear me out?!"
"...Are you certain a minute will be enough?"
"Carry on comin' up with snarky, witty retorts and it sure as hell won't be!" yelled out Jounouchi vehemently whilst the other chuckled, awfully entertained, before relenting and letting the other expose his 'worth-a-minute-to-listen idea'...
And the more the blonde spoke, the more it did actually sound like a decent idea, much to his astonishment.
"You know, Make-inu..." voiced Kaiba gradually once the other had finished talking and stood there regarding expectantly "I have no clue right now if this idea of yours is sheer weirdness or pure madness. Or genius."
At that, Jounouchi did a literal face-ground: "Why the heck did you put 'genius' at the end?! And why is it the ONLY ONE to not have an adjective?!"
"We're doing it," decided the brunet irrefutably as he took hold of the blonde's wrist and started to tug the other along with him, despite an obvious resistance "Let's go."
"Wha-? Hey! Let me at least put my shoes on! Whoa, slow your horses down, rich boy!"
And thus, the two boys went off, determined to put their differences aside, long enough to collaborate, in order to put a halt, to their respective dearest siblings' romantic encounters.
To be continued…
(1) That song just seemed to fit Jonouchi...kind of. Actually, not at all. I just happened to be listening to it when writing this fic and slipped it in for some odd reason. Don't know either...
(2) I HAD TO, I'm sorry! I just love the Abridged Series SO freaking damn much XP!
(3) Make-inu: Japanese for 'Loser Dog', one of the many nicknames (pet names?) Kaiba has for Jounouchi.
Next Chapter: No Way...
A/N: So, this fic is a three chapter project. And I'll update as soon as I finish the other two. Ta-da! Yeah. So sorry if I'm not that talkative, I really do have a little high fever :P But I'm grinning gleefully right now (fever's fault), because I really had fun building this fic up given that I quite enjoy using themes that I haven't found while browsing.
I hope you liked this chapter, please look forward for the next one! Bye for now!