The middle aged woman dressed in her smartest clothes was flanked by the two figures who were clearly dressed in the uniform of the prison service but, in reality, Barbara was glad for the two of them to show her the way to go home, or what passed for home. The run up to her trial as well as two grueling days on the stand had drained her. She had said her piece and now she felt tired and utterly drained and just wanted to get away from here. Gina and Dominic respected her silence and courteously made way for her to get in the back seat of the car. The winter sky was dull and overcast to match her mood
"I could do with a nice cup of tea." Barbara said at length as the scenery of inner city London whizzed past outside their windows
"The Julies will get one special for you when we get back"
Barbara made no reply to Dominic but settled down into her seat and waited to be taken back. Gina and Dominic maintained a silence that they hoped would be companionable and escorted her back onto the wing.
"You want your usual cup of tea, Barbara"
Nikki took one look at her and was relieved to see that Barbara had clearly not been taken to pieces by the opposing barrister. She just looked very tired and weary and smiled politely at the greeting.
"Yes please and, if you don't mind, I would prefer to go to my cell and have a lie down"
The Julies caught Nikki's eye and mouthed back their answer.
"I'll see you later sometime."
While Denny bustled up to sit with her in the canteen, Nikki moved towards the PO's room after Gina and Dominic. Fortunately, the room was empty.
"How did Barbara get on"
"Their barrister tried to get smart with her and got her back up. She made a right clown out of him but……." Dominic volunteered, his grin fading as he realized that the fierce interrogation had forced her to face very painful memories.
"….that doesn't mean that that wanker didn't get to her. She's been dead quiet on the way back"
"More so than on the way there, Gina?"
"I'd say, yeah, even with worrying at what that bastard would throw at her"
"Just to be on the safe side, we'd better put Barbara on fifteen minutes suicide watch." Nikki pronounced the thought for all of them and they nodded in agreement.
"Tell you what, give me half an hour so I can clear some work out of the way and I'll pop in and sit in with Barbara for a bit. It'll give some of you will get a bit of a break tonight"
"Thanks, Nikki"
They appreciated Nikki's little gestures of good will and that, like Karen before her, she wasn't afraid to muck in whenever it seemed right.
"Do you reckon we should pop in on Babs. She needs her friends around her"
"She may just want some shuteye. Let's face it, Ju, she ain't going to have a decent night's sleep last night, now would she, Ju"
"Reckon you're right, Ju. So what do we do"
"I ain't reckoned that far yet. We ought to see her." Julie Saunders concluded not very convincingly.
At this point Nikki was on her rounds and caught half an ear to the conversation.
"Julies. Want to help me out"
"If it's cleaning up the landings, they've been done over the other day." Julie Saunders
jumped in hastily.
"Nothing like that, Julie. I mean Barbara. I'm going in to see her right now and it might be a good idea for you to come along a bit later on and help me out. The prison officers know about it."
"Oh well then. Count us in." Julie Saunders answered, a growing smile on her lips. It was great that someone like Nikki was around to take over and come up with the good ideas, she thought." Half an hour, like."
"Sounds fine to me, Julie. Barbara might be in a real 'no talking' mood. If she is, I'll catch up with you before you go in"
"That's brilliant, Nikki." Julie Saunders told Nikki with enthusiasm. "Now why didn't we think of something like that." She added to Julie Johnson after Nikki had moved off in a purposeful manner.
"Mind if I come in, Barbara. " Nikki asked kindly as Barbara lay on her bunk bed, facing away from her to the wall. There was a long pause before Barbara replied.
"So long as I'm not taking you away from your work, Nikki. I know how busy you are"
The remark was kindly meant but it reminded Nikki that, while she was rushed off her feet, part of the daily reality for prisoners is, even with the education programmes she had started up, was terminal boredom and depression.
"You are my work, Barbara. I'd like to think you're my friend as well. If you want to talk, Barbara, I'm here whenever you're ready"
Barbara half turned to lie on her back and mulled matters over. As she stared at the light in the ceiling, something stirred the very distant memory of when Nikki was lying in her bunk after she had supposed that Helen had abandoned her while Barbara stuck up for her and urged her to be positive.
"I suppose I'll have to talk to you sooner or later." Barbara said begrudgingly.
"I'm only saying because it might help. There comes the time when everyone needs to talk even if they don't want to." Nikki's very soft voice reasoned very gently.
There was another long pause until, eventually, Barbara's head turned in Nikki's direction. Her face was infinitely kind and patient as she had always been, as she had gently persuaded her that she had to take up arms against Shell Dockley. She lay there without saying anything and Nikki waited patiently without pressurizing her.
"It's all because that damned barrister kept on at me about when Henry was dying it brought back far too many memories I have been trying to forget." Barbara suddenly replied, her emotions choking her up inside.
"Even the good times as well, Barbara?" Nikki reasoned
"Not exactly"
The stillness of the cell gave the impression to Nikki not of peace and quiet but of detachment from life itself. She remembered that instinct just to bury yourself away from your problems. Harrassed and overworked though Nikki was at times, she was almost grateful to be kept busy. Right now, Nikki knew not to rush matters and was content to content to wait while Barbara was deep in her own thoughts. She sensed that it was so hard of Barbara to come out of herself as she was sunk so deep in the past. Something in her would not let go, to let go of Henry, or so it seemed.
"You know, Barbara, what I remember clearly of that performance at your church hall was Henry's speech. He was gracious to us all and spoke kindly. It's a pity I never knew that he really wasn't well"
"There's nothing you could have done about. There's nothing anyone could have done about it." Barbara said reassuringly though why on earth she chose to reassure anyone at that moment escaped her thoughts. She knew how wide spreading Nikki's range of sympathies were to anyone who needed her help. Moments passed
"You saw how Sylvia made a total idiot of herself in court." Nikki said in deliberately understated fashion.
"Does it make a difference"
"It gave everyone a laugh." Nikki said in her inimitable fashion. "It won't bring Henry back but it will give you a chance of getting out of here"
"I don't know what there is on the outside anymore and if it's really worth it all"
Nikki let that remark hang on the air. Barbara was still not looking directly at her. The next words had to be said.
"I did." Nikki said firmly." I was stuck in here for life, the wrong side of the wire. Sure I was lucky when Helen came into my life but she had to move mountains to get my case at the least up for appeal. I'd been on trial up against a hanging judge and only half the story was told and I got sent down for life. The trial is going well from all accounts and you've got George and Jo and a really decent man as a judge. Believe me, they don't make men better than him. I simply cannot allow you to give up like this"
"Are you speaking as wing governor or as Nikki Wade?" Barbara retorted a little frostily.
"Both. There's never been a difference, never will be. You've got to try, not for me but for you"
Nikki's insistent tones finally got through to Barbara and she started to become aware of the trough of depression into which she had sunk. She coloured slightly at the was she had been so unresponsive but she was saved by the slight knock at the door after which, a fragment of Julie Saunders head peeped round the door.
"We was passing by and thought we ought to look in on you, Babs. Hey, fancy seeing you Nikki." She greeted them all, her surprise at Nikki's presence being somewhat overdone.
"You feeling all right, Babs." Julie Johnson asked anxiously, stealing glances between her and Nikki.
"Thanks to Nikki, I am. She talked some sense into me." Came the answer in much more of a positive tone than she had spoken for a long time, or it seemed that way.
They lapsed into companionable silences as the afternoon wore on and spoke about nothing in particular. Time seemed to drift away. This was a novel experience for Nikki and the feeling seemed to draw Nikki back into the past for awhile until there came an official knock on the door. This was surely that of a screw come to interrupt proceedings.
"Excuse me, Nikki," came Dominic's apologetic voice." The works department want you on the phone about the bad leak on the 3s. They wanted to say that the paperwork for the job hadn't been filled in right"
"And this time of the year when it throws it down with rain." Muttered Nikki, angry. She had had several sparring matches with the petty jobsworth at the other end of the phone. It seemed to her that he saw his purpose, not to help her get to what was needed as soon as possible but in protecting his petty empire and asserting his feeble power." It's February, the worst time of the year. All right, Dominic, I'm coming."
"We'll look after Babs till lockup time," Julie Johnson volunteered. She could see that Nikki was needed elsewhere. Nikki looked at the Julies gratefully and at Dominic who depended on her special brand of toughness in dealing with the situation. She was back in the present and, hopefully, the weekend would see Barbara regroup herself for the next stage of the battle.