AN: Trigger warnings to many things are present in this story. Don't like don't read.
I do not own Once Upon a Time.
There are my own Original Characters in this at times.
Summary: Emma is no longer the Dark One, but that doesn't mean she isn't still dealing with the effects. Of course, it's her and magic and Storybrooke so it was a given that there would be repercussions. Dealing with her feelings for Regina aren't the only issues she has. Guilt for Hook, disgust when seeing Robin with Regina, and two Dark Ones that won't leave her alone for a single moment, are only a few of the issues she's trying to handle on her own. Everyone has noticed, but Emma refuses to reach out because the one person she wants to reach out to seems preoccupied with her supposed "soulmate".
How far will Emma fall before she finally comes to her senses? How far will Reigna let her fall?
Let's find out.
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A cold breeze nipped at Emma's exposed face, her hair shifting in the wind as it swirled around her. Her eyes never strayed from the horizon across the water, the brilliant orange and reds and yellows reflecting off the gentle waves that rippled on the surface. The wood underneath her hands was damp, yet strong. No one ever said the Jolly Roger was a weak ship. Considering she had only been on it a few times over the last two years, she hadn't had time to admire it. Of course, now it meant more than just a ship, or even more than just what its legacy was. Her mind was still reeling from the events that occurred over the last few months, over the hardest decision she had ever made.
It had been a month since she had stopped being the Dark One, a month since she had gone to the underworld.
"I'm glad you came Swan, but why did you?" Killian had asked as he stood, arms crossed over his chest, sad smile on his face.
Her eyes darted between his, confusion swirling in her mind, "What do you mean? I love you."
Killian smiled brighter, a nod, "Yes but not in the way I wish it was."
To say Emma was shocked was an understatement. She had been a runner all her life, running from foster homes, from jobs, from people. To have it shoved in her face by the person she had literally gone to Hell for, that was a whole new experience that she was still struggling to process. Running from her fears, from her own thoughts, had been a regular occurrence for her since before she could remember. Killian was hell bent on her not running anymore.
She frowned at him, "I came here for you."
Killian nodded, "And I'm thankful for that, but I'm not your happy ending, I never could be. I had my happy ending with Milah but that was taken from me by the Crocodile. You deserve a happy ending too Swan. Now go get her."
Emma's eyes widened, her heart thundering in her chest so loud it seemed to echo around the dark chamber they were in, "How?"
Killian smiled, "I've seen the way you two look at each other." He raised his hand, resting it on her shoulder, "The way you two fight for each other, with each other, and even against each other…" he chuckled, "That's love Swan. Stop running from it and capture it. Savor it while you can because believe me," he glanced around them, the heat of flames licking at their feet, "it can be taken from you if you don't fight hard enough for it."
Emma smiled, eyes full of unshed tears, heart breaking slightly, "I love you Killian."
He grinned crookedly, "Thanks for saying it. Now go!"
She had kissed his cheek before running, this time not from something, but towards her happiness. Of course, nothing was ever that simple, no matter how easy Killian had made it seem. She had pulled away from everyone when they returned from the Underworld. Killian had gone to Mount Olympus, something that Zeus had made sure she was aware of but in turn he had sent Robin back. Emma had the displeasure of watching Regina embrace him in a fit of tears at the diner. She hadn't waited around to speak to him, instead she had rushed out of the diner so fast she nearly trampled over Henry.
Henry had tried to talk to her, to find out what was happening, but she was avoiding him. She had taken the night shifts indefinitely, stopped living at the house that she owned, stopped returning phone calls and texts. At one point she had gotten so annoyed with all the alerts on her phone that she had considered throwing it overboard. Sleeping on the Jolly Roger was a new experience, at least a different one compared to when they had been in Neverland. Henry had tried to find her at the ship, but she knew the ins and outs of it better than her son. It wasn't hard to hide on board, which had her asking the question, how the hell did Killian never have any stowaways?
The month had passed in loneliness and alcohol, lots of alcohol. It suddenly began feeling as if she were back in Boston. She could still remember kicking beer cans and liquor bottles out of the way when she was opening the door to Henry's young face. Now the cans and bottles scraped across the wooden surface of the ship as the gentle waves rocked it back and forth. Somehow being on the Jolly Roger gave her a calm inside her tightly clenched heart. Killian knew she was in love with Regina and had lasted long enough to give her his words of advice, and blessing. Something she knew, and he obviously knew, she needed.
However, that was ripped away the moment Robin had reappeared. She was supposed to bring back all the happy endings, well fuck you fate. Why couldn't she have a happy ending too? Why did the Savior always have to be left out in the cold? Why did no one ever want her? Why was she always thrown away like garbage? She had overcome a lot of things when the curse first broke but now it was as if she was going through it all over again. The pain of abandonment, except she was the one doing the abandoning. She knew Henry was upset, that he wanted to see her, to talk to her, but she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes.
It was heartbreaking, tears slowly working their way down her cheeks, seeing the way he smiled at Regina and Robin. That was supposed to be her and Regina. That smile he gave should be hers and Regina's, together. Instead, she had to swallow back the bile that rose in her throat whenever she saw it. When she saw them together. It wasn't fair to Henry, she knew this, wasn't fair that she had cut herself from his life after he worked so hard to get her in it to begin with.
But what else was she supposed to do? She couldn't sit there and watch the woman she's in love with, be happy with someone else. It didn't work that way.
Not mention Snow couldn't stop gushing over them. Her own mother was heavily involved in their happiness.
She shook her head, letting the cold breeze dry the tears on her face as she watched the sun disappear below the water. No, she refused to be a part of that. She had saved Regina so the woman could be happy, because Regina had worked so hard for it. She had fought the darkness inside herself to become good, to become Regina once more and not the Evil Queen. She wouldn't stand in the way of Regina's happiness.
A soft whisper echoed through her mind, But ripping him away from her would be so easy dearie. Emma shook her head against the voice that was oddly Rumple but not quite.
She had been suffering these soft whispers for the last month. Voices of the Dark One's still shifting through her mind, trying to consume her from the inside out. She wouldn't let them, not yet anyway. She still had some fight left in her, but she was quickly realizing that that fight was slowly dying. In fact, every time she caught a glimpse of Regina and Robin it died a little more. Soon there would be no fight left and she would let the darkness consume her once more. Her only hope would be that Regina would be the one to deliver the killing blow. At least that way she would know that Regina had saved everyone and be the hero she always had been to Emma.
She heaved a heavy sigh before pushing off the wood beneath her hands and made her way below deck, thankful for the shower that Killian had installed when he first arrived in Storybrooke. Freshly showered and dressed she made her way towards the station, knowing that no one would be there when she got there. Darkness had swallowed the town an hour before and everyone was usually at home or at the diner during this time of the night. She unlocked the door to the station, slipping inside before locking it behind her quickly. If anyone needed anything they now knew to call instead of trying to enter.
She didn't want to see anyone anymore, though it did hurt where Henry was concerned but ten years of not seeing him should help in that matter. His happiness was just as important as Regina's, and he was obviously happy with Regina and Robin. She wouldn't stop that.
Night shifts were usually mind numbingly slow, nothing ever really happening during the dark hours. It gave Emma even more time to think, more time to sink further into the darkness that seemed to envelope her since her return to the land of the living. She stared at the paperwork on her desk, sighing at the height that the stack had finally reached. At least this night she wouldn't have to wallow in her own sorrow too much. She took the first file on top and began to work, pen scratching across paper echoing throughout the entire station as the lone light on her desk illuminated the small office. Shadows danced just out of reach of the light and Emma had the strange sense that she was being watched.
Head snapping up she gasped as she stared up at Merlin, "You are dead."
Merlin smirked, easing himself into a chair across from her desk, "One would think you'd be happy to see me."
She narrowed her eyes at him, "You betrayed me. Betrayed all of us."
He shrugged, "Darkness drives a person to the brink and then shoves them over without remorse. Did you expect anything different?"
She glared at him for a moment before shaking her head, "You aren't real, are you."
Merlin's smug smirk grew, "Well you still have a little bit of light left in there." He chuckled, "No I'm very much dead but you on the other hand are losing it."
She shook her head, returning her attention to her paperwork, "Leave."
"She's so touchy," Nimue's voice sounded from right beside her.
Emma startled, knocking a stack of folders off her desk before glaring up at the woman, "Why am I still hearing the whispers?"
Nimue chuckled, "There will always be a sliver of darkness inside of you. You just need to embrace it, let it take hold fully and never look back."
Merlin rolled his eyes at Nimue, "She always was so power hungry." He returned his attention to Emma, "Fighting for what you want, is that so bad when the opposite could be so much worse?"
Emma grimaced, sliding to the floor to gather her folders, "I don't need the two Dark One's on my shoulders right now."
Merlin snorted, "I'd like to think I'm the light side."
Nimue scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, "Do you see why I left him? No sense of humor."
Emma shook her head, slamming the folders back on her desktop, her voice echoing throughout the station harshly, "Leave me alone!"
When no response was given, she finally looked up, finding herself alone in the dimly lit office, the empty squad room just beginning to brighten with daylight. She frowned as she looked around her office, searching for the two that had been there. She pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping beyond hope that she had just fallen asleep, that it had all been a dream, but the large knot of dread that was slowly building in her stomach told her otherwise. She snatched her jacket off her chair, took the finished paperwork out to David's desk, and quickly moved towards the exit. A mirror on the wall near the door caught her attention and she stared at her reflection.
Her face was sunken, dark purple circles under her red tired eyes glared back at her in startling contrast to the pale skin of her face. She looked worse than like hell. Shaking her head, she wrenched the door open, freezing as she came face to face with David. His eyes widened as he took in her ghostly appearance, his jaw dropping slightly in his shock. She narrowed her eyes at him in anger before shoving passed him, hoping to avoid any confrontation while she was still in her current mood. The crisp air battered at her numb face, waking and relaxing her as she made her way back to the docks. The Jolly Roger had become her go to place, though she did miss the warmth of the diner, the loft.
And especially of Regina's mansion. The only place she had ever felt at home, safe.
She knew David was probably already on the phone with Snow, the man was just as bad as his wife at keeping anything to himself. Which meant Snow would be telling Henry as soon as she saw him, which in turn would have the boy blowing up her phone and searching all over town for her. She quickly turned her phone off before she made it to the docks and hurried a little faster to the ship, slipping beneath deck without another thought.
Merlin grinned at her from the wooden chair near the table, "Leave it to you to always run from things."
She curled her lip in a snarl, "Why won't you leave me alone?"
Nimue chuckled, "Because you love to torture yourself."
Emma scoffed as she threw her jacket over the back of the leather sofa. While Killian had no sense of taste, he at least had the sense to turn the Jolly Roger into an actual comfortable living area. She crossed the small space to the counter, snatching the bottle of whiskey. Killian had never been able to get her to enjoy rum, it just did not sit with her right. Whiskey on the other hand, while giving her a killer headache, always worked to empty her mind for a few hours.
Merlin sighed heavily, "Why can't you let yourself be happy?"
Emma swallowed thickly, wincing as the burn slid down her through against her chest and landed heavily in her empty stomach, "My happiness is no longer mine. Why can't you leave me alone?"
Nimue grinned evilly, "Well look there, she does still have some fight left."
Emma narrowed her eyes at the woman, "I killed you both."
Nimue nodded, crossing her arms over her chest, "You did but there is always darkness in the world. You have more of it than you want to admit, and the longer you fight the more it will grow."
Merlin shook his head, holding his hands up, "Alright, everyone calm down."
Emma grimaced, snapping her eyes to him, "You of all people cannot be telling me this."
Merlin nodded, "Emma please, just listen."
"NO!" She spun throwing the bottle as hard as she could at the side of the ship. The explosion of glass echoed throughout the entire room, the tinkling of the shards hitting the wooden floor only drowned out by her shout, "Fuck the both of you! You don't get to force me into anything anymore!" She turned back to the room, only to find it empty.
She glared at the spot Merlin had been, "Of course, work me up and then disappear. Fuck you." She shook her head, stumbling towards the bedroom, feeling the dizzying effect of the alcohol sweeping through her mind, before collapsing on top of the blanket's unconscious.
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Waking with a groan Emma had to force the wave of nausea back down as the stale taste of alcohol wrapped around her thick tongue in her dry mouth. Thundering pain slammed against her skull as she pushed herself up and she stumbled towards the shower. She desperately hoped that she had drank so much that she passed out and dreamt of Merlin and Nimue, because she couldn't remember drinking anything before they had shown up. Maybe, just maybe, she had drunk so much that she just couldn't remember it, though she could remember walking from the station. Another groan ripped from her lips at the remembrance of running into David while leaving the station, suddenly dreading looking at her phone.
She gulped water as she turned her phone back on, not surprised with the blaringly loud alerts that began to fire off. Surprisingly a large amount of them had come from Regina, mostly in the form of calls but the texts were slightly frenzied. Henry had been in a near panic from the sounds of his texts, mostly asking where she was and if she was okay. It warmed her heart slightly that her son cared so much, but at the same time she couldn't stop the image of that Forest Mole from entering her mind, which only made her anger flare. She didn't open any of the texts, not wanting anyone to see that she had read them, but she got the gist of them from just a few words on the preview.
Suddenly the phone began to ring in her hand, Regina's name flashing on the screen. She felt her heart constrict, desperately wanting to answer while at the same time knowing that if she did, it would only lead her heart to shatter even more than it already was. She was saved from her deliberation when the sound cut off but only for a moment before it began to ring again, Regina's name glaring at her from the screen. After a few moments the unbelievably loud noise cut off and she breathed a sigh of relief as she tossed a handful of aspirin into her mouth.
Her pone beeped once more, causing her to frown and glance at it. New Voicemail. Well, that was new, not a single person had left her a voicemail before. Curiosity got the better of her and she quickly put the phone to her ear, gasping slightly at the sound of Regina's voice. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard the woman's voice, or how it made her feel.
"Emma, please answer. I need to know that you're okay. David called Snow and you know how that ends. Please, Henry and I are worried about you. Call me. At least let us know that you're alright. Let someone know, anyone at this point. Just…,"
Emma could faintly make out the sound of Robin's voice in the background but couldn't hear exactly what he was saying. She felt the anger flow through her chest as she ended the call and stormed up to the deck. Of course, Regina was saying us as in her and Robin and Henry.
Merlin leaned against the helm, arms crossed over his chest, "Hope is good to have Emma."
Nimue sat on the railing, watching her with amusement, "Hope is all that's left when you're afraid to face what's real."
Emma's body froze as she stared Nimue, the woman had a point. The hope she had in her heart for Regina, to be Regina's was nothing but a flickering ember now. The reality of it was that she would never belong to Regina and Regina would never belong to her. She had lost the woman when Tinkerbell interfered with magical dust. She gripped the phone tighter, "Then it's time I face what's real." She felt her pain explode in her chest as she stood next to Nimue, staring out into the open waters. She reared her arm back and let the phone fly, as hard and as far as she could throw it.
Merlin sighed beside her, "Hope gives us the ability to keep going Emma."
She grimaced, lip curling in a sneer, "You sound like Snow White."
Nimue snorted, "She's right you know. You were always the speech giver." Hazel eyes landed on Emma, "Hope is fleeting. Easily destroyed when there is enough force behind it. Hope means nothing," her voice spit venom with every word as it darkened.
Emma stared out at the dark water, the stars and moon reflected off its surface as it felt like her heart gave one final beat. She had lost her happiness a long time ago, she just hadn't acknowledged it. Much like she hadn't acknowledged her feelings, her love for Regina. It was her own fault really, to be so hell bent on being what everyone wanted her to be. To be the Savior that everyone expected of her.
Nimue's grin widened, "When is it your turn to be what you want? To be who you want? When does everyone get to stop making that decision for you?"
Merlin shook his head, "They want what's best for you. They never pushed you into things that you didn't willingly want to do."
"Oh, do shut up Merlin," Nimue snapped angrily. "You always had to do the right thing. You never once did what you wanted to do because it wasn't the right thing."
Merlin glared at her, "You forced me into this life. You forced my hand. I loved you, you were everything to me."
Nimue scoffed, "And you don't think Regina is everything to Emma?"
Emma gripped the wood tighter, knuckles turning white with the force.
Merlin frowned, "Of course she is. That's the issue isn't it. Why should Emma force the one she loves to be anything other than who she is? Or be with someone that she doesn't want?"
Emma felt the splinters under her hands as the wood began to break beneath her grip. The cool trickle of blood was unnoticed as she shook her head, "I will never be you Nimue. I could never do that to her."
Merlin grinned smugly, "Ha."
Nimue narrowed her eyes at Merlin before focusing on Emma, "Then how do you plan on dealing with the amount of pain that you are suffering? To watch her with him only means your heart will be crushed without Regina even having to touch it. Eventually it will crumble into dust as if the woman had reached inside and did it with her own bare hands."
Emma's anger flared brighter as she spun to face the woman, spitting her words as if it was all she had left, and in a way, it was, "I will never be like you. I'll never hurt the ones I love. The ones who love me."
Nimue surged forward, face less than an inch from Emma's, "Ah, but that's the thing. She doesn't love you."
Emma's body trembled, heart dissolving in her chest as a sob ripped from her throat. Regina never would love her, which in hindsight was what everything boiled down to. She was in love with someone that would never, could never feel the same for her. She spun back to the railing she had been holding, that she had broken. "I will leave. I'll disappear for good, never to return."
Merlin frowned, "You can't do that to Henry."
"Why not?" She scoffed, eyes blurring with unshed tears, "He doesn't need me. He has Regina, and him." She grimaced, unable to say his name, at least not without calling him something derogatory in the process. "Henry will be fine. Regina raised him right and will continue to do so without me. He'll grow up to be happy and healthy and in the end that is all I ever wanted when I gave him up. Regina will take care of that." She felt the burn in her hands as she pulled away from the railing, choosing to ignore it as she made her way below deck.
Everything she had ever thought, everything she had ever hoped had never come to pass. Hope to find a home as a child. Hope to find a family that would love her. Hope to find that one person that she would spend the rest of her life with. No matter how much she grumped about Snow's and David's true love, she had always wished to have that. Now she knew she never would. Killian had known from the beginning that they were never going to be that for each other, knew that her heart belonged to someone else.
And he had let her go.
Now she had to do the same. She had to let Regina go so the woman could be happy, even if Emma believed that that Forest Tick didn't deserve her, wasn't worthy of her love. Regina chose him so Emma would let her go and drown her sorrows somewhere else. She would disappear and leave her family to be happy. It wasn't a hard choice really, not when she pictured Henry's and Regina's smiles. Heard their laughter echoing around her mind in pleasant memories. She would hold those memories close to the heart until the day she took her last breath and know that she gave the woman she loves the happiness she had always wanted.
Slinging the duffel bag over her shoulder she was reminded of the night she had taken Henry home, seeing Regina for the first time. She'll never forget that night, not a single moment of it. Taking a deep breath of the salty sea air she ran her bloodied hand along the wood as she crossed the deck, shaking her head at the number of times she had found Killian too drunk to step foot off the ship. She couldn't help but be grateful to the pirate that had annoyed Regina every single day. He had given her the courage to face her fear instead of run from it.
Slipping into the station under the cover of darkness was something she had grown accustomed to in the last month, month and a half, she really hadn't been keeping track lately. Stopping at her desk she unclipped her badge and gun, placing her gun in the only locked drawer of her desk before setting her badge on top. She slipped the key to her drawer into David's desk before spinning on her heel and heading out. Out of the Sheriff's station and towards the town line. She didn't even want the Bug anymore. Too many memories of her and Regina arguing over the metal death trap, the hideous looking thing. She couldn't stop the tears, or the laugh that ripped from her lips at the thousands of times that Regina had mocked her vehicle. The air grew colder as she left town, her mind not really on anything but the road beneath her feet.
Nimue appeared in front of her, in the middle of the road, "You can't be serious."
Emma glared at her, gripping the strap of her bag tighter, "No one asked you."
Merlin appeared beside Nimue, "You can't keep running Emma. You don't know what you're doing. You could be destroying their happiness."
Emma shook her head, "They don't need me to be happy. I'm nothing! Never have been!" she couldn't stop the painful shout, the way it ripped from her chest and out her throat as if it was uncontrollable.
"You are not nothing," a raspy voice snapped behind her.
Emma couldn't stop the cold that seeped into her body, aching her bones and closing swiftly around her heart. She turned slowly, finding herself face to face with an angry Regina, "Why are you here?"
"You really think I wouldn't surround the town with something to alert me if you ever tried to leave?" Regina snapped, taking a firm step towards her.
Nimue scoffed, "She's stubborn I'll give you that."
Emma glared at her as she snapped, "Don't you ever shut up?"
Regina's voice pulled Emma's attention back into focus, "Who are you talking to?"
Emma shook her head, "Isn't your Forest Troll looking for you?"
Regina frowned, brows pulling together, confusion evident in her dark eyes, "What?"
Merlin hesitated before stepping into Emma's personal space, "Does she really not know who we're talking about?"
Emma frowned at him, contemplating if she needed to explain a little more or if she should just walk away and save herself the headache. She was intent on leaving. She could not stand back and watch Regina with him, not any more than she already has.
Regina took another hesitant step forward, "Emma, look at me." Emma obeyed, reluctantly. "Emma, who are you talking to?"
Emma raised an eyebrow at the woman before glancing over at Nimue as she laughed, "She really is blind, isn't she? Or she could just not have eyes for anyone but Emma."
Emma scoffed, completely forgetting that Regina was standing there, "That's not the case and even if it was so what? It doesn't change anything."
Merlin shook his head, eyes hopeful, "Maybe it does. She's here, isn't she? She's not with him."
Emma spun to him, eyes narrowed and face dangerous, "Doesn't mean anything. They probably sent her. Which makes it so much worse."
Nimue nodded, "She's got a point Merlin. The Evil Queen would never come of her own accord."
Emma grimaced, glaring daggers at the woman, "Shut up."
Nimue grinned wickedly, "What? That's who she is, isn't it? The Evil Queen?" Emma spun to grab the woman, but she disappeared, reappearing next to Merlin behind her, "Don't tell me you've forgotten Emma?"
Emma snarled angrily, fingertips sparking with her magic, "You have no idea what you're talking about. You never have. You chose the power over everything."
Regina's hand gripped her arm tightly, "Emma, who are you talking to?" Regina's eyes were worried as Emma frowned at her, trying to understand how the woman could not see Merlin and Nimue.
She shook her head angrily, focusing back on Nimue as she spoke once again, magic thrumming beneath her skin wildly, "Darkness always stays with you, no matter how good you try to be. Look at yourself Emma. You have a darkness inside you that is spreading rapidly, and you are doing so wonderful at controlling it."
Emma glared at her as Merlin sighed, "This is getting us nowhere. Why can't we all just get along?"
Nimue growled at him, "You are such a hippy."
Merlin gasped, "Take that back."
Emma jerked away from Regina's hand, sparks flying from her hands, "Shut up the both of you!" She felt her body tremble as her magic surged, "You are nothing without me and for that I am willing to pay the price."
Nimue scoffed, a challenge tinting her words, "I don't think you would. You care too much."
Emma's eyes darkened, hands curling into fists, "Try me."
Nimue closed the distance between them, "Show me that darkness that you've been hiding. WE know it's there. You can't hide it from yourself no matter how much you try."
Emma couldn't stop the power from ripped through her body, the pain growing as Nimue smirked at her. Merlin's voice was next to her ear as he begged her to stop. To remember the good times. to remember her family but she couldn't. all she could see was darkness surrounding her, closing in on her. She was alone, as she always had been, even before she ever came to Storybrooke.
Long before she ever fell in love with Regina Mills.
.
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Pain ripped through Emma's chest as she gasped for breath, her lungs feeling as if they were on fire from the inside out. Hands gripped her shoulders and forced her to remain lying down, David's voice quickly echoing through the darkness she found herself in, "Easy, no moving yet Emma. Get Regina!" He shouted as Emma struggled.
Emma fought against the hands holding her down, the fear of being forced to do something quickly outweighing the pain that was surging through her entire body. She hated the feeling of these hands. The feeling of being confined. She struggled to get her eyes to open even as she struggled against the hands pinning her to the soft mattress beneath her back. Suddenly the hands disappeared, and a body pressed down against her chest, however it wasn't the rough hard one she had been expecting.
No, this body was soft and curvy and light, a pleasant calm spreading through her chest. She slowly began to relax as the feeling of safety and comfort replaced the fear, she had been feeling only moments before.
Then a voice was beside her ear, soft and low, a slight husk to it, "You're safe Emma. I won't let anyone hurt you."
A whimper ripped from her lips, and she would be mortified if she was capable of feeling anything other than the body pressing down against hers. She didn't want to lose this connection, but her limbs felt numb, heavier than they should. She couldn't reach out for the safety and comfort she was feeling, she could only lie there and relish in what small time she had.
Because she knew there wouldn't be much of it.
She could only image what Forest Breath was grumbling right now as he watched this happening. A slight satisfaction roared through her body, warming her slightly. The idea of getting even something as simple as this from Regina, taking it from him, was satisfaction in corporeal form.
The same voice, her voice, was back in her ear, "Emma, I need you to move your fingers for me."
She struggled to find her fingers, knowing that they were attached to her hand which was attached to her arm, but she was struggling to get passed her shoulder. To focus on the movement itself was another issue on its own.
"Emma, focus on me, on my voice. Come back to me." Regina's voice broke slightly, shaky as it was to begin with.
Emma focused on the body on top of her, on the warmth that radiated through her, at the feeling of safety it filled her with. Slowly she felt her arm raise and her fingers sinking into soft silky fabric. She clutched at it, her lifeline that she had never known she needed until now.
Forest Scat be damned.
Regina's voice held so much emotion, with a little bit of laughter mingled in, "Very good dear. Now come back to me. Follow me out of the darkness darling."
Try as she might, she couldn't, and exhaustion was quickly pulling her deeper. She tried to, for Regina, for her family but it was no use as the darkness reclaimed her, fingers relaxing and dropping from the fabric she had been so desperate to hold onto.
.
Voices brought her closer to the surface once more, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"I thought Hook was her happiness. I thought I was doing the right thing." Regina's voice was choked, a soft quiet sob in the silence around them. Emma strained to focus on the woman, to hear everything that she could before the darkness took her again.
A soft chuckled came from somewhere else around her, "At least her snappy attitude towards me makes sense now. I was beginning to take it personally."
Regina's soft hiccup turned into a tired sigh, "If I had known I never would have left her side. I would have forced her to come back to the mansion. I would have told her how I feel." Regina's voice grew quieter, "I feel like I won't get that chance now." A heartbreaking sob echoed through the silent room.
Emma struggled to reach out, to do something to comfort Regina. She had never been good at dealing with emotions but when it came to Regina, it broke her heart to not be able to comfort her. she focused on her magic, swelling it enough to push the tiniest amount to Regina, to let her know that she was there for her. even if she was stuck in this never-ending darkness of her own doing.
A gasp came from right beside her, "Emma?" Emma sent another small wave of her magic towards Regina, hoping the woman could feel it. A weight appeared on top of her, pressing into her chest and filling her with that same sense of safety and comfort, "I'm here Emma. Come back to me. Please, Emma. We have so much to talk about."
Emma felt something wet, or what she thought was wet against her cheek that quickly slid to her neck. She struggled to figure out what it was but the next words out of Regina's mouth had her heart suddenly pounding against her rib cage.
"I need you, Emma. I can't do this without you. Please, come back to me." Regina's voice was hoarse, wet with too many emotions.
Emma felt the fight flare back into her body, hearing Rumple's voice in her mind, There's the woman behind the Savior. About time dearie. Emma wanted to laugh, wanted to punch the imp in his face, and hug him all at the same time. She felt her body surge with her magic, forcing its way through every fiber of her being. It would take time, but she knew she was on the right path, even as the darkness reclaimed her once again.
But this time she didn't fight it.
.
Bright white filled her vision, causing her to close her eyes quickly. After a moment, and the pain subsiding her head slightly, she forced her eyes to blink against the bright light above her. She turned her head slowly, hating that the throbbing in her head seemed to match every beat of her heart. She took in the hospital room around her, the empty chairs that were pulled up around her bedside.
Disorienting as it was, she couldn't help but be grateful that there was no one there to see her struggle to come out of the fog she was in. Though she should have known better. She hissed in pain as she sat up, ignoring the searing pain in her chest. Her body ached from having been lying too long and she needed to move. She sat in the hospital bed rubbing her temples for a moment, grimacing at the IV that was attached to the back of her hand. She looked at it as if it had offended her before her eyes drifted across the room.
A smile broke across her face as she studied the small cot that had been placed against the wall. Though the reason for her smile wasn't the cot but the woman sleeping on it. Regina's face was tense, even in sleep, brows furrowed slightly, and Emma ached to be able to sooth the tension. A frown creeped across her face.
Had she been dreaming?
Had Regina really said those things or was it just her mind supplying what she wanted to pull her out of the darkness she had been trapped in?
Before she could ponder any further a voice spoke from the doorway, "You're awake?"
Her eyes snapped towards the British tone, a glare coming to her face, "You should have made her go home." She grit her teeth against the comments that she wanted to throw at him.
Robin frowned as he moved towards her bed quietly, his eyes darting to Regina before landing back on her, "She wanted to be here."
Emma scoffed, "Right. Look just wake her up, take her home, and make her sleep in a comfortable bed so she doesn't wake up in pain."
Robin frowned at her, "She's been waking up in pain for the past month Swan. Do you have any idea what everyone has been through since the Underworld?"
She glared at him, whispering so she wouldn't wake Regina just yet, "Save it Fungus Face. Just take her home." She shifted on the bed, sliding her legs over the side, hating that she was currently in a hospital gown.
Robin gripped her arm tightly, "Whatever you've been going through Swan, it isn't worth hurting the people you love. Regina has been worried sick about you. So has the rest of your family. They've been trying to reach out to you. Regina most of all. She thought you were ignoring her so she had Henry call you constantly to see if you would answer him. When you didn't, she grew even more worried."
Emma frowned as she glanced down at his hand, "You're hurting me."
Robin relaxed his grip but didn't let go, "Emma, I know losing Jones was hard but-"
Emma narrowed her eyes at him, snapping loudly, "You really think all of this has been about Killian?" She quickly forgot about Regina being in the room as her anger grew, "I lied alright! I lied to all of you. I saw Killian in the Underworld. I spoke to him. I left him," her throat tightened instantly. She hadn't said the words out loud, not until now and she knew the guilt she was feeling would probably be the death of her.
Robin's eyes widened at her, "What?"
She shook her head as she stood, ripping the IV from her hand and using what little magic she had to summon clothes for herself, "I left him there." She quickly pulled the sweats on followed by a shirt before pulling the hospital gown off her body and throwing it on the bed, "I spoke to him and he…" She shook her head, a sob getting stuck in her throat, "It doesn't matter. He's moved on. He had no unfinished business after we talked and he's at peace." She glared at him, "Now do the one thing you're supposed to do and take care of her." She spun on her heel and instantly froze.
Regina stood blocking her path out of the room, arms crossed over her chest, dark eyes narrowed angrily in all her Evil Queen glory, "Where do you think you're going Miss Swan?"
Emma felt the shiver run down her spine before her body trembled. She could see the anger in Regina's eyes, the emotion swirling through the dark depths was more than she had ever seen before. She could practically taste the woman's magic as it swirled around them, and for a moment, she was terrified.
Regina gripped her arm, tight enough that Emma couldn't pull away but not tight enough to hurt, "You will get back in that bed and if I have to pin you down with my magic, I will." Her voice dropped an octave, the husky rasp back in full force.
Emma gulped before nodding and allowing Regina to push her back onto the bed. She stared at a piece of lint on her sweats as Regina's voice reverberated throughout the room, "Go get Whale."
Shuffling of feet sounded across the room, but Emma remained staring at her legs. How was she supposed to act around Regina now? The dream had felt so real. Real enough that she was willing to keep that fight alive inside, to fight back against the darkness that was trying to reclaim her. She couldn't even look at the woman, couldn't even see the lack of love in her eyes. She dreaded the moment she would look at Regina and see the woman looking at him, see the love in her eyes. Love that should be hers.
"Ah yes but she doesn't love you, Swan. When are you going to stop pinning for a woman that cares nothing for you?" Nimue's voice caused her head to snap up, eyes narrowing in anger.
Merlin's hand rested on her shoulder, "Don't listen to her. We all heard what she said earlier."
Nimue shook her head, "It was nothing but a dream Merlin, you of all people know that. There is nothing there."
Emma glared at the woman, shaking her head and whispering angrily, "Fuck off."
Nimue laughed, head thrown back, "That's all you got Swan? Wow!"
Emma narrowed her eyes at the woman, opening her mouth to snap but Henry's voice stopped her, "Ma!" The boy made his way across the room, stopping beside her bed with wide worried eyes, "Are you okay?"
Emma couldn't even bring a smirk to her face. She knew she looked like shit anyway, dark circles, pale sunken skin, there was no hiding it in the fluorescent lights of the hospital room. Instead, she nodded, "Yeah kid." She could see the disbelief in his eyes, so she looked away from him.
Merlin crouched beside the bed, opposite Henry, capturing her eyes, "He's worried about you, and you aren't making it any better."
She scoffed but remained silent.
Nimue shook her head, collapsing in a chair in the corner, one leg draped over the arm, "The boy is a brat that sticks his nose into places that it doesn't belong." Her dark hazel eyes danced with excitement, "That is how you ended up here, isn't it?"
She couldn't stop the snap, "You know nothing about it."
Nimue's laughter rippled through the room, Merlin sighing heavily and shaking his head, "Why must you always push buttons?"
Nimue snorted, "Please, she needs someone to be the voice of reason. You sure as hell aren't that person."
Whale's voice was suddenly right beside her, causing Emma to jump from the bed. She stared at him, "When the hell did you get in here?"
Whale frowned at her, studying her as if she were a wild animal being backed into a corner, "I asked how you were feeling."
Emma's eyes darted nervously to Regina, whose hands were resting on Henry's shoulders. She couldn't decipher the look on the woman's face, but if she had to guess it was worried. Regina nodded encouragingly at her and Emma felt her body relax slightly, "I'm fine. Killer headache and my entire body feels like it's on fire, but other than that I'm fine."
Whale nodded, "You did receive a few burns when your magic surged. I have a prescription for some antibiotics for you."
Snow's voice came from the doorway, "I'll pick those up from Doc right away."
David crossed the room, "Let's go Emma. We'll get you back to the loft and-"
David reached for her and Emma backed away from him, not wanting him to touch her, "Don't touch me."
David froze, eyes narrowed, "Emma I'm just going to help you out to the truck. We'll get you back to the loft and you can sleep for a while."
Emma glared at him as Nimue stood beside her, "Always the charming prince, needing to do what he thinks is right. Never asking if its what you want."
Merlin appeared on her other side, glare firmly locked on David, "I hate to admit it but I'm with Nimue on this one. He thinks he can manhandle everything, everyone, and he'll get his way."
Emma felt her heart race in her chest as she noticed that David was standing between her and the only way out of the room, "Get away from me."
David frowned, hands going up, palms out, in a placating manner, "It's okay Emma. I won't hurt you."
Nimue grimaced, "Yes, he says that a lot doesn't he and yet he went along with Snow's wishes and shoved you into that wardrobe all alone."
Merlin growled, "Really? You bring that up now? He had no choice!"
Emma snapped before she could stop herself, "The Evil Queen should have finished the job!"
The room went still, the air suddenly ice cold around them. David's hands dropped as he backed away, sadness entering his eyes. Snow's gasp echoed through the silent room, "Emma you don't mean that."
Emma's glare turned to the shorter woman, "Don't I?" She shook her head, "None of you asked me what I felt. You just assume that I'll be your precious princess. You don't even know what I've been through, what my life was like. You run around thinking that you live in a fairytale, that you are the good one and the Evil Queen is the bad one. It doesn't work that way, it never has." She shook her head, "You want to see the good in everyone but sometimes all there is, is darkness. We were made that way, the Evil Queen and I."
David frowned, "You are nothing like the Evil Queen."
Emma scoffed as Nimue laughed and Merlin smirked, "Oh how wrong you are. Did you ever once consider why Regina and I get along so well? Did you ever once question her motives behind her actions other than Daniel?"
Regina frowned, "Emma what are you talking about?"
Emma's glare narrowed on Snow, "Leopold was nothing but a monster who created the Evil Queen more than you ever did. You were just the perfect cover, the fuel for the fire."
Snow frowned, "Emma, you didn't know-"
Emma disappeared in puff of grey smoke, only to reappear right in her mother's face, "Leopold was a rapist and a wife beater. He was worse than the scum of this world and when you finally stop living in a delusion maybe you'll understand the life that the Evil Queen had been trying to make for herself. You are so naïve Snow White," she spat the name as if it was the nastiest thing she had ever tasted, "and I am ashamed to be your daughter." Her harsh words rang through the room, her body shaking with the anger that raged beneath her skin.
Nimue chuckled, "Well done Swan."
Merlin let out a deep sigh, "That was oddly… Refreshing."
Emma glared at Snow's watery eyes for a moment longer before she turned to David, "You are weak. If you never wanted to put me in that wardrobe then you never should have. I would rather die at the hands of the Evil Queen, a woman who was fighting for what she believed in, than ever have been sent here without a choice." David's tears fell silently but he didn't try to deny what he had always believed himself.
Emma glanced at Henry, "I love you, I always have and that will never change, but you have the naiveté of a young Snow White. While at times it's so amazing, at others it's no better than Snow herself. I love you kid but sometimes things don't work out the way we want them too." She looked up at Regina, her eyes narrowing suddenly as she noticed who was beside her.
Nimue curled her lip in a snarl, "Please do something about him."
Emma shook her head, "Forest Troll, why are you even here? Both of you shouldn't even be here."
Regina's eyes watered, "Miss Swan, this isn't the way-"
"The way for what Regina?" Emma snapped, her emotions growing more confusing as her dream came back to her. "You don't even like me, you never have." She felt the pain rip through her chest, tears coming to her eyes uncontrollably, "Go home and be happy. That's why I did all this remember." She felt the sob rising up her throat, unable to stop it from escaping. "I can't do this."
Regina gripped her wrist as Emma tried to move towards the door, "Stop! Just take a moment." Emma ripped her wrist free and continued to move towards the door. Regina's hand gripped her upper arm firmly, "Emma stop."
Emma spun on her heel, finding herself less than an inch from Regina's face, "You have no idea what I'm going through. Stop making it worse."
Regina tightened her hold on the woman, refusing to let the love of her life slip from her fingers once again, "Please let me help you. Don't run from me anymore Emma."
Emma could stop her eyes from darting down, seeing full red lips that had always captured her thoughts for hours on end. She shook her head, but Nimue leaned against her back, chin resting on her shoulder, "You know you want to take what you want. Why should this be any different? You can take Regina and show her everything."
Merlin frowned, "Regina isn't property Nimue. She has her own choices to make. Emma can't just rip that happiness away from her."
Nimue scoffed, "Why not? Emma turned to the darkness for her. Literally let the darkness inside just to give this woman a chance at happiness."
Emma glanced at Nimue, "Isn't that even more of a reason to walk away?"
Regina frowned at Emma, seeing the woman seemingly staring at something or someone, the same way she had before anger had spiraled her magic out of control, "Emma look at me."
Emma turned back to Regina as Merlin spoke, "Maybe the happiness she's supposed to have isn't with him."
Regina gently cupped Emma's cheek, "Talk to me Emma."
Emma frowned, her headache increasing in strength as she tried to understand what was happening. Nimue chuckled, "Well look at that. He's confused."
Emma's eyes darted over Regina's shoulder to Robin, "I can smell you from here Forest Troll." Nimue and Merlin laughed behind her.
Robin frowned, "So help me, Swan."
Regina snapped, "Enough." She kept her attention on Emma, "Emma, focus on me."
Emma's eyes instantly darted back to Regina's dark gaze, frowning as she took in the multitude of emotions that were looking back at her. Nimue's hum sounded right next to her ear and Emma jumped slightly, startled. Nimue cocked her head at the woman, "Is that what I think it is?"
Merlin shook his head, "I don't think so. She's just worried."
Nimue raised an eyebrow, "If that's the case then we should be going. There is darkness to descend into and power to gain."
Merlin shook his head, "Why must you always have a one-track mind?"
Emma's headache pulsed painfully, tears springing to her eyes as she ignored the two bickering behind her and refocused on Regina. Her voice was soft, "I can't do this." She shook her head, tears spilling over, "Please make it stop." She was tired, so very tired. Her body ached, her head hurt, and she felt as if she hadn't slept since becoming the Dark One.
Regina's eyes widened as Emma begged before her body seemed to finally give out. Regina quickly wrapped her arms around the blonde, glancing back at the others in the room, "I'll take her to the mansion. She might feel safer there. Snow, get that prescription."
Snow nodded, eyes downcast, "Does she really think that?"
Regina shook her head, "Now is not the time. We'll discuss this when we figure out what's happening with her. Henry, go with David and pack as much of your mother's things as you can to bring home."
Henry nodded, "Okay Mom."
His worried eyes held hers for a moment before Regina nodded, tightening her hold on Emma and using her magic to teleport them home.