Nikki was at work bright and early, too early to entirely convince herself that she was calm and relaxed. She would have been happy to settle for feeling keyed up but knew that she felt more than this. She was distinctly nervous. To distract her thoughts, she pulled a sheaf of filed from her in tray onto her desk but her heart wasn't in the job. She felt that she was simply shuffling papers round her desk and getting nowhere fast.
"Might I come in, Nikki and kill a bit of time here before I go into the lion's den?" came Thomas Waugh's voice unexpectedly into her thoughts as he paced into the room without knocking. Nikki ran a quick eyes over him and instantly concluded that his attempt at nonchalance was his front to conceal stage fright as was his uncharacteristically abrupt intrusion.
"Be my guest, Thomas." Came her courteous reply."Cup of coffee"
"No thanks, Nikki. Tea, definitely tea if you have it"
That meant he wasn't wanting to take anything that might make him more hyper than he was while the English cup of tea was the great pre twenty first century tranquilliser. She went to make two cups of tea to keep her hands occupied and set them down on her desk.
"I'm sure you'll be confident enough going up on the stand from all the conferences you've addressed over the years"
"Don't you believe it, Nikki." Thomas replied as if jokingly to Nikki's warm words of encouragement." I'm good enough to make stirring speeches as you don't get anyone disagreeing with you afterwards. You know that as you've done that once. I testified in court once before and I came a cropper"
"So what went wrong"
"I got it wrong"
"And this time"
"I'm right or at least I think I am"
There was a long pause as Nikki sipped her tea. Thomas really wasn't that confident, of himself, of how he was going to get on. She paused before she found the words to say.
"Look here Thomas. I was watching from the gallery that day and your only problem was that you were a little overconfident, the barrister on your side really wasn't very good and you were up against Jo Mills. She's on your side this time. You've just got to stick to the facts and don't let them throw you. I'd like to give you support from the witness gallery but I won't be allowed to as I'm on this afternoon"
"Thanks, Nikki. I needed someone to talk some sense into me. It's funny because that's what I'm paid to. Well, you'll get on better than I will when you get up on the stand"
"You want to bet? I'm beginning to feel that their brief will be out to smear me for all he's worth"
"Now who's talking, Nikki? You're verbally quicker than I am and you're strong. You've had to be to get to where you are. You've mixed with the legal profession and you know what makes them tick."
"You think so"
"Let's do a deal. If you're strong for Barbara, then so will I"
It looked as if someone had switched on the light of confidence inside Nikki as Thomas reasoned with her. It was funny, both of them reflected in mirror image, that it was far easier to prop up someone else's confidence than your own. The phrase 'physician, heal thyself' floated into Thomas's mind. He extended his hand and shook Nikki's in a firm grip as if to transfer the strength back and forth between them. Then he straightened his his crooked tie and strode forwards to meet his destiny. Nikki was a little envious as at least Thomas had the chance to go into battle rather than sit around stewing.
In his nervousness, Thomas had got there early. He was ushered into a waiting room and mentally ran through the key points to crystallize his thinking. He felt uncomfortably naked without any papers to hold in his hand. Whenever he had performed before at public events a written speech was not only his tool of the trade by a convenient psychological prop. He ruefully reflected on the fact that this insight into himself really wasn't too well timed. The knock on the door from the court usher jolted his nerves but he summoned up his inner resolve and followed her into the courtroom. The whole theatre setting of the courtroom made him blink as he made his way towards the witness box. This time around, he knew how dangerous an arena this could be. He cast a glance at the opposition barrister as the one to watch out for. Jo stood up and smiled kindly at him while George sat back, extending a nonchalant hand over the long bench. To his mind, both of them looked assured, experienced and thoroughly at home in their world while he felt like a fish out of water.
"Could you explain for the benefit of the court, your position, previous experience and your role in relation to the accused"
"Barbara Mills?" Thomas asked, momentarily finding it hard to hear her described that way while a flicker of amusement ran round the court."I have been senior medical officer at Larkhall Prison for the last four and a half years. Before that, I had been a practicing psychologist with a basic grounding as a general practitioner. It enables me to span the entire spectrum of physical and mental illnesses , something that is essential in a women's prison"
"And your connection with the accused?"
"As requested by you to undertake a psychological profile. It also coincided nicely with concerns expressed by Nikki Wade G wing governor about her state of health. I have learnt from her formal referrals to treat them especially seriously"
Jo smiled broadly at the way Thomas neatly prepared the ground for her next witness and paused a little for maximum effect before continuing.
"What was your initial impression of Barbara Mills?"
"She was a very pleasant courteous woman of the old school who was clearly been carrying the very heavy burden of her bereavement for several months despite her best efforts to minimise it."
Jo was impressed by the clear snapshot mental image which enabled her to pursue the questioning in a leisurely but systematic fashion.
"What did she tell you of her feelings for her husband, both while he was alive, and after his death"
"It was patently clear how much she loved him and how she would go to the ends of her own physical and mental endurance to will him to live. As his illness progressed, she became more worried and anxious for him, fearing that they were fighting a losing battle. She hadn't the chance to mourn on her own as she was immediately arrested, something she felt to be a cruel trick of fate."
"How did you assess her state of mind when you interviewed her"
"She has been grateful for the close support from other prisoners and sensitive treatment from prison officers. Nevertheless, it was plain that she was missing him with every day that passed, that she felt incomplete without him. Even when she had friends around her, she felt lonely. At other times, she has hidden herself away, unable to face the world. She felt that it was particularly unfair to be charged with being somehow responsible for the worst tragedy of her life. She has considerable resilience of spirit but she has been continually worried by the run up to the court trial and all this has tried her to the utmost."
"How much emotional support was she receiving during Henry's illness"
"By force of circumstances, very little. She had no immediate family and Henry's family kept themselves aloof even when he was dying. Her life was very much intertwined with Henry's. She has close friends who she knew had busy lives of their own and she felt it a weakness and an imposition to ask for support from them. All the time, she was doing the caring rather than being cared for."
"How much importance did Barbara place on her religion whilst talking to you"
"On the surface, she does not talk about her religion and appears to carry it lightly. She is hardly a 'born again evangeliser' but this is because she was born into the church in the first place. It is a source of her strength, something to guide her when she doubts her own ability to decide. More importantly, she sees herself as being required to stand completely and transparently before God and strive to live up to very high standards of thought and deed. She receives sustenance from her religion and seeks to give back in equal measure from the way she lives her life."
It was at that moment that Barbara, who was standing in the dock, permitted a faint smile of appreciation at Thomas's clearly articulated words. He had understood more of her than she had supposed at the time. Monty and John were sitting back impassively in their thrones but the last thing they felt was that they were placed in judgement over her, only immense pity. There but for the Grace of God went John Deed and Monty Everard. A stray thought crossed George's mind of when she was small and that her mother had been unexpectedly taken away from her and no one explained anything to her. She pushed it out of the way.
"During her interview with you, did Barbara express any alteration of her state of mind, during the last few days of Henry's illness"
"Only that she became more worn out, more dispirited but as firm in her resolve to stick at it in terms of looking after a man who grew weaker every day."
"Did Barbara ever show any sign of guilt whilst in your presence"
"If you mean, did she betray any sign that she might have been responsible for Henry's death, not a trace whatsoever. If you mean, did she show any feelings of guilt that she could have prevented Henry's death, she showed signs in some considerable measure. If only she hadn't gone downstairs as she did, if only she had left the syringe further away from where she was used to leaving it, she would have ensured that Henry would not have died when he did. The fact that Henry was on his last legs was a thought that she might have tried to reassure herself but she didn't."
"Would you consider Barbara to be capable of ending her husband's life?
"Absolutely not." Thomas declared emphatically."In my four and a half years I have worked at Larkhall, I have dealt with many more killers than the average GP would see in a lifetime and I can state with confidence that Mrs Mills does not fit the profile in any shape whatsoever. Everything about her rings true and hangs together"
George sat back and nodded in approval at the way that the witness had artfully deployed his knowledge in simple terms that any member of a jury would immediately grasp.
'I have no more questions." Jo rounded out, pleased at how the evidence had been depicted with rapid, sure strokes pen for all to see. She sat down and wondered how Brian Cantwell might attack the testimony.
Thomas watched the very self satisfied man slowly draw himself to his feet with a smile on his face while Jo faded away to the role of sympathetic yet helpless onlooker.
"Would it be true to say that your career could be best summed up by the expression 'Jack of all trades and master of none?' or put another way that you have dabbled in various disconnected branches of studies without pushing any of them to any level of expertise?"
Thomas took fire at once and the words flooded into his mind as fast as he could deliver them.
"On the contrary, I work in a crowded prison with more than life's share of physical and mental problems. It means that the demands of a modern women's prison means that you are stretched to the limit. From my medical expertise, physical and mental ill health are more intimately linked than the layman would suppose and I have the positive advantage in this dual training to follow both callings and to investigate the connections."
A sudden hush descended upon the court and hung in the air for what seemed an eternity while Brian Cantwell took the blow without flinching. George admired the style with which Thomas turned the stroke back on Brian Cantwell with a lightning fast parry. Beneath Yvonne's impassive exterior, she had to hand it to the guy that he had more balls than she had thought while Karen and Roisin were equally impressed.
"Do you wish to pursue the matter, Mr Cantwell?" John's flat dry voice probed.
There was a wry half smile on Brian Cantwell's face as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Seeing as any further questions are likely to be unproductive, I have none"
Thomas blinked in surprise as he fully expected to be locked into a battle royal with all guns blazing on both sides. It dawned on him that his testimony was complete and he could escape.
"You may step down, Mr Waugh. Court is adjourned till this afternoon."
"So how did you get on, Thomas." Nikki asked nervously. She knew the basics already judging from the light in his eyes and his expansive demeanour.
"Jo was great and I did my best for Barbara. I don't think I could have done better for her." he added vaguely, his memory rerunning the sequence of events.
"And the opposition"
"I beat the living daylights out of him. No quarter given." Thomas declaimed in operatic tones."He won't dare to give you a hard time"
Oh great, Thomas, Nikki groaned inwardly. You're supposed to be the psychologist but you can't see that he will be landing all the shit on me in revenge. Typical man. You may feel great but I don't.
"That's fine, Thomas. I'm glad you did well." She said graciously with a wan smile, the implications of which totally escaped him.
"There's Helen and all the others. We'll be up in the gallery and cheering you on in our thoughts. Don't worry, you'll do fine." Thomas said encouragingly.
If only she felt that sure. She could see Helen approaching, arms oustretched ready to give her a big hug. She needed that physical support from her more than ever in her life.