When Nick was scared, nervous, or pissed off, he paced.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Right now he was all three of these, so as he waited in an empty evidence examination room at CSI HQ, pacing was the only thing he could think to do.
He had reluctantly let go of Sara; she was both giving her statement and being processed. Nick shuddered to himself; how could this happen? Those terms…statement, process…they were used everyday…they were cheap words. How different they were, Nick thought, when they are about someone you love.
Nick continued pacing, his eyes glazed over at thoughts of Sara. Of that night, of what she'd gone through, of what she meant to him. So he jumped clear off the ground at the sound of a knock on the already open door.
He turned to see Warrick standing there, and both a feeling of relief and disappointment flooded through his veins; how badly he had wanted it to be Sara.
"How is she? Is she almost done? When can I see her?" Nick rushed Warrick with questions.
"She's almost done. She finished her statement…she's being taken to an evidence room right now." Warrick replied with a frown. Nick looked at the floor; despite Warrick's kind tone of voice, the hard, unfeeling words clinched at his heart.
"How's the case?' Nick asked, needing to hear some hopeful, encouraging news.
"Nick, I don't know. Right now we don't know a lot…the scene is fresh and we don't have any officially logged evidence." Warrick said. When Nick gave him a glare, Warrick continued.
"Hey man, you know how this goes! Don't give me the evil eye…we're just trying to dot our i's and cross our t's. If this thing gets all mucked up and shitty the person that it's going to hurt is Sara…and I know you don't want that."
Nick nodded, exasperated. Warrick cleared his throat, and Nick watched him, cautious of what was to be said next.
"Nick, I um…well we…uh…there is one other thing…" Warrick tried, and Nick looked at him earnestly.
"What? What?" Nick demanded.
"Nick…I…" Warrick continued, searching for words.
"WHAT?" Nick yelled.
"Nick…I'm sure in the horrifying excitement of the moment you didn't have any time to notice but…Sara came in wearing men's clothes." Warrick said quietly, "She uh…she didn't have any panties on."
Nick staggered backwards, his hand covering his mouth. He tried to breathe but his lungs wouldn't take in air. His eyes started to water.
"She didn't say anything in her statement about it but…Nick you know what coming in with no panties means…"
There was a brief moment of silence before Nick exploded.
"GOD DAMNIT WARRICK! DON'T TELL ME SOMEONE TOUCHED HER! Please…please…tell me he didn't touch her…" Nick cried, his hands grasping the table as he tried desperately to hold his sobs in. Warrick allowed him a few moments to collect himself before he spoke again.
"Look…like I said…she didn't say anything about it in her statement – we don't know anything yet. I could be wrong…but maybe she's holding it in Nick." Warrick came and put a hand on Nick's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze.
"If there's anyone she'll tell, I have a gut feeling it will be you. I just wanted you to be prepared…if this happened to her, she needs help. And that help needs to start with you."
Nick nodded, still leaning against the table, not able to face Warrick. Warrick's hand slipped off his shoulder, and he could hear him walk silently out of the room. When Nick was sure he was gone, he crumpled into a nearby chair, letting tears fall silently with no attempts to stop them.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ten minutes later, Nick hadn't moved. He had stopped crying, stopped pacing, and attempted to stop thinking. Now he just sat in the armless swivel chair, his arms dangling at his sides, staring at the examination table in front of him, his mind swirling.
"Hey cowboy." He heard Sara's gentle voice call from the doorway where she now stood. As if in slow motion, he looked up at her, smiled, and gestured for her to come to him. He patted his leg, and she sat on it. He relished in the soft weight of her body as his arms wrapped around her waist and her arms came around his shoulders.
"They told me I could find you here." She said simply, letting one of her hands play through his short, silky hair without breaking eye contact. He smiled; the urge to lay a comforting kiss gently on her lips was almost unbearable. He simply nodded in response, his throat too full of emotion to speak.
Suddenly Sara's brow furrowed, and the hand not playing in his hair came to cup his cheek, her thumb smoothing his skin.
"You were crying." She said, though it had come out as a sort of a question. Nick looked away, nodding his yes. Her hand slipped off his cheek and rested under his chin, and he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and allowing her eyes to reconnect with his.
"Why?" She asked. He gave her a watery smile, and wasn't able to hold in the singe tear that fell, streaking onto her hand.
"Because when someone you care about gets hurt, it hurts you too." He said simply, and his chin quivered. Sara's gaze softened, and the hand under Nick's chin slid to cup his cheek once again.
"Oh Nick…" she whispered. She pulled his head onto her shoulder, his face tucked into her neck. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, inching her body closer to his. Her arms encircled his neck, her fingers threading through his hair.
"Sara…" Nick whispered, his voice full of such raw emotion as Sara had never heard. "You would tell me if someone hurt you wouldn't you? Even if you thought I would be mad, or sad, or wouldn't understand, you would tell me, right?"
"Nicky…I…" Sara's voice cracked at the tears that sprang into her eyes.
"Promise me Sar. Promise me you'll tell me. Always." Nick's voice was suddenly strong, demanding. Sara looked at him, a grown man withering in her arms, and squeezed him tight.
-
From the time Nick was able to understand, Nick's mother and father preached endlessly about "good touch vs. bad touch". If anyone, stranger, family member…babysitter… anyone touched Nick "in a way that gave him a yucky feeling in his tummy", he was supposed to tell either of his parents.
He had promised he would. And before he met the new babysitter, Nick never entertained the idea that this would be a promise he'd break.
-
"Of course Nick. I promise." She whispered, leaning her head down to whisper it into his ear. He smiled, his head shifting to kiss her gently on her neck, something which caught her off guard, yet warmed her to the bone.
Nick's arm had draped across her back as she sat on his lap, his hands clasping at her hip. But now he let only one hand hold her hip; the other moved to her stomach. In her current position, his big hand covered her entire abdomen, his thumb even gently resting against the bottom swell of her breast. As the two of them sat there in silence, each concentrated on the slow movement of his thumb caressing her stomach, back and forth.
Back and forth.
-
-
-
Hey – sorry this update took so long/is kind of short. But I liked where it ended so I couldn't help it. Thanks for continuing to read – review please!
- The Notorious Cat