Nikki let herself be folded into Helen's arms. She needed that physical presence next to her, willing her to be strong and bold with all the fierce affection in Helen's soul. Karen Roisin, Yvonne, Clare Walker, Grayling and Thomas formed a protective ring round her, while surreptitiously keeping a lookout. When they drew back from each other, one glance told Helen how tense Nikki was.
"Perhaps you ought to come with me to somewhere quiet"
"But I ought to do a last minute preparation before I go on the stand." Protested Nikki till Karen cut her short.
"If Neil doesn't pull rank on you to tell you to do as Helen says, I will." Karen cut in firmly before continuing on a gentler note. "I know you, Nikki. You'll have got everything up there in your mind. You need to relax more than anything else right now. Believe me, I've been there"
"Listen to what the boss says, Nikki." Added Yvonne.
Nikki nodded her head. Blind instinct told her to learn from Karen's past experiences of court percolated into her consciousness. Helen drew Nikki by the hand and they disappeared into a side room, while the others stood around feeling like spare parts, shuffling their feet. It was only five minutes but it seemed an aeon since the door was closed. Karen looked at her watch, as the minutes ticked dangerously close to when court would open. Nikki was in danger of cutting it fine.
Nikki could remember hardly anything of what Helen had actually said to her. All she knew was that her mind had been opened up to the bigger picture. It hadn't seemed that way at the time but she had felt pretty relaxed at the Lauren Atkins trial in comparison with now. True, she had identified fiercely with the fate of Lauren who was trapped and penned up in the dock but that was no more than she should expect of herself. Now she realized that however passionate she felt, she had been distanced by the fact that it wasn't her on trial. This time was different and it explained everything. It was no wonder that feelings of blind panic had been building up in her from first thing in the morning, in a relentless upward spiral, as she drew ever closer to the Old Bailey. It explained why very uncharacteristically, she had been losing her nerve. For all her epoch making trials, she had never been cross-examined on the stand. The first time around, her counsel had deliberately kept her off the stand in case she would mouth off. When she went up for her appeal and got her freedom, she stood mutely in the dock, while the duel was fought all around her. Her record was wiped clean , thanks to Clare Walker fighting her case through the criminal cases review commission and the home office. It almost felt as if she were finally up on trial to make up for the years and circumstances that had kept her out of the witness stand. It was a perfectly natural, logical emotional reaction. That clearly articulated Scottish accent calmed her down and let her think over that internal hubbub.
"You're Nikki Wade, wing governor, with a university degree under your belt and a witness for the defence. With all this going for you, you'll stand up to them. You're not on trial, yourself. You're a professional and just for once in your life, you are permitted to carry that title, that assurance of your self-worth, a little less lightly than you normally do." She remembered Helen finally urging her. Helen had got that spot on. She did exercise her authority at work, in an almost self-deprecating fashion when she thought about it.
At last the door opened and to everyone's intense relief, a markedly more positive Nikki emerged, her eyes looking out for the entrance to the courtroom.
"You're right, Karen. I did need that." Was her cryptic comment.
"You're ready for the trial"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Then go get them." added Yvonne.
Roisin and Clare gave Nikki a quick hug, as pale faced but determined, she made her way to the back entrance to the court.
"Best of luck." Mouthed Grayling to Nikki with an encouraging, almost fatherly grin, while Thomas gave her the thumbs up gesture. They filed up into the visitor's gallery on the front row, and ignored the bad vibrations emanating from Greg and Amanda Hunt who had been haunting the Old Bailey since day one of the trial.
With the utmost display of outward composure, Nikki filed into the dock, and held the Bible in her left hand and the card with her right , and looked up boldly at John in his place up on high, and then her eyes focused in on Jo Mills and the rest of the court blurred at the edges of her vision. Jo wasn't fooled by Nikki's outward show, and articulated her first words in a deliberately slow paced fashion , to gently ease her into her new role.
"Can you explain, for the benefit of the court how you came to know Barbara Mills?"
Nikki paused before she spoke. The question wasn't as simple as it appeared to be. She was by no means sure if the court had been told about Barbara's previous spell in prison, and she really didn't want to accidentally drop her in it. Some instinct selected the right order of the words to be used with great care.
"I first knew her when I was an inmate at Larkhall, and became friends with her." Nikki replied briefly.
"What is your current position in Larkhall prison?"
"I am the wing governor of G Wing, one of the eight wings of Larkhall prison. I have overall responsibility for the welfare of prison officers and prisoners alike"
It struck John that Nikki used the word 'responsibility' instead of power. That thought fascinated him , as it told him a lot about her.
"In your position as wing governor, how have you found Barbara's general behaviour?"
"She has always been very pleasant and cooperative, and particularly receptive to the necessary good order and discipline of an institution, when there is a clear reason for it. She has strong convictions in her quiet way of what is right and wrong and these are immensely respected. The only concerns I have had for her are that she has been depressed following her husband's untimely death, and I am very anxious for her future. More worryingly, she will publicly understate her problems to others in conversation, so that I have asked both prisoners and officers alike to keep an eye on her and be there for her"
George had closely watched Nikki's manner while Jo started the questions, and could see her gaining confidence and her body language becoming less constrained. She had watched the testimony unfold in a very promising fashion and had confirmed the very high opinion she had come to have of Nikki She stood up in a leisurely manner and posed the next questions, fixing Nikki's eyes with hers. George felt safe to take over the questioning.
"How do you usually think of Barbara, as an inmate or as a friend?"
"Quite simply, both."
"During your own period in prison, how much did Barbara's friendship mean to you?"
"When I first entered Larkhall as an inmate, I got to know what friendship was like because of the lack of it. It was riddled from top to bottom by favouritism, the 'old boys network,' of one prisoner who inflicted cruelties on other prisoners and got protection by a corrupt officer by selling her sexual favours. By contrast, I was made to feel the outsider with no rights of my own"
"Is all this strictly necessary?" Brian Cantwell enquired in an exaggeratedly bored tone of voice.
"I'm just putting it in context." Shot back Nikki a split second before George could make the very same point.
"It is usual for counsel to make representations for you on points of law." John intervened, his dry tone of voice belied by the twinkle in his eye as he continued to deliver judgment.
"I suppose that neither Mrs. Channing nor Mrs. Mills have anything to add ….. So please continue with your evidence"
"Sorry, sir." Nikki said in a low respectful tone while Jo and George grinned at each other, having given the nod to John that no other words were needed. Brian Cantwell's face tightened and he mentally vowed to himself that he would exact payback when his chance came.
"Round about the same time as the prison regime started to change for the better, Barbara came along. After I'd straightened her out about the lies that a particularly malicious prison officer had spread about my sexuality, we saw the positives in each other, and looked to each other for friendship and intelligent conversation. She had strong principles and I could confide in her with any problems, and the same applied to her. Prisons can be dangerous places you know, and you get to value feeling safe with others more than anyone on the outside could ever imagine."
It fascinated Helen to see the way that Nikki spoke in different voices, firstly as the responsible prison officer and next through the eyes of the inmate. No one but Nikki could have convincingly held this all together.
"What qualities do you possess, that give you a greater depth of insight and understanding into the lives of prisoners, and Barbara Mills in particular?" Jo interposed, her questioning meshing seamlessly with George's.
"I've seen the prison service from right up close, and got to know from it what fair treatment and its opposite mean, as a living breathing thing rather than something to read in a book. I shared a cell with Barbara. You're in each other's pockets twenty-four seven, that is more than prison officers see you. I know also that even the most well meaning policies can be subverted by prison officers on the ground who have the run of the place, who commit their petty injustices behind closed doors and can lie about them afterwards. When I became wing governor I knew what to look out for and I can put a stop to it"
Helen and Karen both nodded grimly to themselves at that profound truth which they had found out the hard way.
"But what of your own particular qualities"
"In my job, I have to learn to separate out the honest ones from those who try to pull the wool over my eyes. To do that I have to work out what makes people tick. On top of that, I've knocked around in a variety of jobs before I came here and that does help"
Monty nodded approvingly at the contrast of Nikki's self-effacing modesty, and her spirited defence of Barbara.
"Do you find that you ever feel a conflict of loyalties where Barbara is concerned?"
"Good point. I do have to periodically question what I should do, what I should say."
"How do you resolve this?"
"I have tried not to wear my rank on my sleeve, as if any orders that I give come naturally from me, Nikki Wade human being rather than the woman wearing the suit. From day one I have made it plain that I will be absolutely fair with everyone, and everyone gets treated alike. Barbara knows that as much as anyone. I won't be too proud to seek advice from those in authority over me, whose wisdom and experience I trust, and also those close to the situation who I can trust. Somehow I have learned to walk the high wire without falling off it"
"What can you tell the court of Barbara Mills' character, both as a prisoner and as a friend?" Jo slid in the question with effortless ease.
"Barbara is a naturally law abiding citizen whose life was devoted to Henry. You don't see many couples who so obviously belong to each other, whose lives were so wrapped up with each other. I know for a fact that she would not harm a hair of Henry's head, and is utterly incapable of self-deception, that she was somehow 'doing the right thing' in shortening Henry's life, not even if it meant an end to his sufferings. There are no fuzzy edges to Barbara's sense of morals, no compromises. I cannot picture in all my varied experiences of her, deliberately setting out to induce an overdose in Henry to cut short his life. I feel this with both my head and my heart."
Jo paused to let the force of Nikki's passionately, and simply expressed views wash over the jury who were clearly favourably impressed. She had set up the question and Nikki had backed her up a treat. As she marvelled at the clarity of expression, George posed their last question.
" Whilst Henry Mills was in the last stages of his illness, did you have any direct concerns about Barbara, and if so, what were they?"
"I didn't see as much of her as I would have liked. I bitterly regret that. Even from what I saw, I worried about how much weight even Barbara could carry, that she would wear herself into the ground, both physically and mentally. My last concern was that Barbara would end up in a court of law being charged with his murder. That was totally outside my calculations."
There was a brief pause in the proceedings. Nikki had gradually felt more comfortable as the carefully paced questions were put to her, but now she knew she would face the full force of the opposition. Brian Cantwell jumped to his feet as if he couldn't wait to be turned loose on her.
"So Ms Wade, you have not been exactly coy, to say the least about your previous spell at Larkhall….as an inmate"
"In that a question or an interjection?" Nikki immediately shot back at him. He had made the fatal mistake of trying to demean Nikki publicly, and it had had the reverse effect of firing her up. While John concealed a smile behind his hand, Karen nudged Helen in the ribs as she suppressed a burst of laughter that was fighting to get out. Brian Cantwell was less amused and shifted his point of attack.
"Do you not consider that your previous spell as an inmate, detracts from your not very lengthy experience as a wing governor"
"Not in the least. My spell at Larkhall was as a result of a very unsafe conviction and a trial, which was very prejudiced against me. So much so that I was able to secure my freedom as a result of the first appeal and the second appeal wiped my record as clean as I assume yours will be. Why, as a one time self employed club owner, my tax returns were as scrupulously completed as I am sure yours are, Mr. Cantwell." Nikki said with that expression of bright innocence which made Yvonne suppress a chuckle and Jo and George grin broadly.
"We need not prolong the court's time with your testimonial." Brian Cantwell said hurriedly.
"If I might continue briefly. Being a prisoner meant that I spent a lot of time-sharing a very cramped cell and life in a closed institution, in much the same way that a public school operates. Unless a conscious effort is made, the prison officer or teacher has not that sense of closeness"
"An excellent and thought provoking comparison Miss Wade." Monty interposed, clearly impressed with Nikki's clear comparison. George and Jo mentally congratulated Nikki for her facility and fluency in pursuing a point, just short of the point where she might have been cut short for offering unsolicited observations.
"Let me put it another way, Ms Wade, don't you find it a problem to be a friend of the accused, to be Wing Governor and her jailor, and to be an objective witness as to her character?" Brian Cantwell demanded spitefully.
"There is a difference between friendships an cronyism, Mr. Cantwell. Honest friendships will cross boundaries of conflicting interests, being true to all sides and utterly professional. Cronyism means selling your soul and your integrity on the basis of 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'
John laughed heartily at the way Nikki so deftly swept aside Brian Cantwell's gambit and turned it against not just him, but the entire forces of the establishment.
'I fail to see how you find this impertinent reply either relevant or fitting, my lord"
"Don't you now? On the contrary, I find Ms Wade's reply highly pertinent to the trial and much more besides."
"Does it not strike you as significant, that both you and your esteemed friend will have been tried for precisely the same crime?" Brian Cantwell pursued with heavy sarcasm.
"I am surprised that you make any comparison, sir. The charge against me was of murder. It was overturned on the grounds of provocation and self-defence against the rapist who was a policeman, paid to track down crime, and not commit a crime himself. Barbara Mills is charged essentially of shortening the very painful and agonizing slow death of the one person who was dearest to her."
"Do you not consider, that having killed a policeman, compromises you as a character witness?
"If that policeman had acted as professionally as I expect my prison officers to behave, I would never have done time. The fact that he didn't, means that I saw another side of society I would never have otherwise experienced. I learned a lot of hard lessons from it which I have turned to my advantage"
Brian Cantwell was needled at Nikki's calm effrontery and ability to face him out. Very rashly, he threw aside any sense of discretion.
"You can hardly be considered normal, when you are a lesbian, and the one-time part owner of a gay club."
There was a hush in the courtroom such that a pin drop could have been heard. Both Jo and George jumped to their feet and were about to lay into Brian Cantwell when John beat them to it. He was positively incandescent with rage. He knew that Cantwell was an utter reactionary but this beat all past records.
"Don't you dare bring your small-minded prejudices into my courtroom, Mr. Cantwell. The question is both foolish and mendacious and shall be stricken from the record. You do your case no favours at all. You will do well not to even think of any such transgressions in a court of law that either Monty or I preside over. Needless to say, the question does not require an answer nor does it deserve one."
"This is shoddy, damned shoddy." Monty exploded in indignation.
"You weasel." George muttered under her breath while Jo kept quiet. She could not have trusted herself to speak and not got into trouble.
In the gallery, the front row was silent, thanks to Grayling taking command.
"Keep quiet everyone." Grayling muttered through gritted teeth."Let the fool bury himself and let's keep out of the way."
An intense feeling of panic ran through him at the thought of reining in five very strong-minded women and a senior medical officer who was not averse to fisticuffs. He turned round to glare at Amanda and Greg Hunt to shut them up. They were grinning from ear to ear and wondering why nobody had said such a self-evident truth before.
Feelings of cold rage ran through Nikki. She hadn't expected that one and she clutched the rail of the witness stand. She could not speak. John looked down at her and saw what was going through her mind.
"Do you want a couple of minutes before court continues, Ms Wade? You can take your time if you want." He urged in his gentlest tones.
It was John's tone of voice that steadied her, the natural man who was so kind, so human inside the forbidding red robes of office. She shook her head.
'I'm fine. Honestly."
Brian Cantwell cursed himself for overstepping the mark. He wasn't going to throw in the towel, but resolved to crowd his opponent in a more circumspect fashion.
"What, in your vast experience of the perpetration of crime, makes you so sure that Barbara Mills is innocent"
"Because I know her. Because I've seen enough criminals from both sides of the wire. It's down to experience, you know."
"Don't you think that you could be biased in her favour"
"I'm being paid and trusted by the prison service not to be biased. That is my job and my responsibility."
"Can you give the court any reason why the jury should have confidence in your testimony?"
"I am not a salesman, Mr. Cantwell. I do my best to tell the truth as I see it. I don't want to boast but I feel that I am well placed to give evidence of Barbara's character from my breadth of experience when I come to think of it"
The front row of the visitor's gallery were riveted to their seats by the last final verbal exchanges, of Nikki's whip crack lightning quick responses to the Brian Cantwell's desperate attempts to break through her armour. Grayling was utterly delighted to see how superbly Nikki was performing, and he blessed himself that he'd seen sense and given Nikki her chance. As for the others, it brought back old memories.
At the end of this last exchange, Brian Cantwell finally ran out of steam. He could not for the life of him think of anything to say that wouldn't go over old ground, and instinct told him that it would be the absolute kiss of death. He decided to cut his losses.
"I have no further questions, my lord."
"At this convenient point, court is closed for the day. We shall resume tomorrow for the closing speeches. Nikki Wade, you may step down"
That very same feeling of bewilderment overwhelmed her as at her appeal hearing. She was so psyched up and centred on giving evidence that she could not conceive of anything afterwards. To Jo's and George's smiles of appreciation and Brian Cantwell's poker faced expression, Nikki tottered out of the witness stand and stumbled out of the back of the court. Only then did she notice Barbara's intense look of gratitude on her face. She couldn't believe it was all over.
She was bewildered by the very same rapturous greeting from the gallery that met her out of the courtroom.
"Result."Exclaimed Clare Walker as she hugged her.
Nikki looked at her dark suit and really did wonder exactly what time zone she was in, as both George and Jo shook her by the hand. This time, it was Helen who hugged her so she couldn't be back in the past. Karen beamed at her in admiration. It was the presence of Roisin and Grayling whose physical presence reminded her that she was back in the present and she smiled more freely.
"You really screwed the bastard." Yvonne exclaimed while Thomas nodded in agreement at such a fair description.
"My congratulations on your performance. Of course you do realize that this is just a game. I might easily have been defending you and Jo Mills prosecuting you. At the end of the day, another trial is done and we all get paid a handsome fee." Brian Cantwell's hard tight tones greeted Nikki.
"It's no game, believe me." Nikki replied hoarsely, the nervous reaction sweeping over her and invading her senses. She could barely talk." Depending on which way your 'game' goes, means whether someone goes free or I get another prisoner to look after. Of course, innocence or guilt has nothing to do with it, has it? Take me for example"
Nikki's icy glare froze Brian Cantwell to the spot and made him feel momentarily uncomfortable. She stood there with no clue as to where she was going to go to next.