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Chapter 7: The fear of loosing you

Ed's POV

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, Al" I whispered silently to him. We were sitting in one of the most illuminated table of a bar. He was talking to me like there was nothing to worry about at all, but for me… well, I didn't follow his train of thought.

I could feel stares. I could feel some welcoming ones, some cold ones… and some… well, almost indifferent ones. After all, I was new in these going-out-to-drink-with-friends thing, and it seemed that people around here had the habit of watching closely every new man they could catch.

And I'm not talking about men, I'm talking about women. There were few ones around the room, but I could feel her stares, and I could hear their whispers and giggles. It was almost annoying, having to be sitted there and watched by everyone, like some kind of toy. But I could consider myself lucky, at least in a way. They were not that ugly.

But right now I don't think I'm looking for someone… I mean… someone else than her.

I tried to push that thought aside. I couldn't get all melancholic right now, or the night will end with a very "happy" Elric mumbling about his love problems… or better call it… sexual frustrations that involved a pretty, blond, blue-eyed woman far away from where we was drinking.

I sighed, almost feeling down already, and being careful not to drink that much. After all, I never had gotten drunk, and I didn't planned to right now, not wanting to know what will happen, or what would I say.

I looked around, trying to think about something else that was not… well… that. As I did so, I noticed that there was someone else watching me, someone I didn't noticed before. She was sitting in the bar, near the bar tender. But it wasn't the way she was sitting, or drinking, or talking to her friend that made me gulp. It wasn't that at all. It was something else.

"Aw! Come on Edward! You always seem so tense, and so stressed, it's good for you that once in a while you go out!" Said Alphonse that was sitting by my side, I almost forgot about him, but anyway, as he talked, I stopped looking at her at looked at him. "Besides" He leaned closer to me. "That girl over there" he said making an eye signal towards the girl at the bar "seems to be looking this way more that she has to".

Almost instantly, my sight came back to her. The familiar but not know girl. You had to accept, that even if I wasn't looking for anyone, she was pretty. She had long black hair, for what I could see, she did had a nice body. She was wearing a simple black dress that was thigh against her curves. But that didn't matter for me anymore, because a moment before, right before Alphonse talked to me, I could saw her face.

I was shocked by it. It was beautiful. It was slender, very feminine and seemed almost sweet. Her lips were slightly curved in a smile and her eyebrows crooked. But one of the things that impressed me the most, were her eyes. There were deep green, almost magical. But that wasn't all, it wasn't the color that shocked me, but the shape and the deepness. It was the same shape, the same that I learned by memory, almost as the alchemic reactions. Those were her eyes, but instead of being that metallic blue which seemed to hypnotize me, they were green. And that deepness of them, that beautiful glint that tried to hide at the corners of her eyes. It was as thought I saw her again… but it wasn't her.

"Edward?" Al called to me, almost in a worried voice. I hadn't notice that since he told me that the woman had been watching me for a long time, I turned my sight and watched her too, and began to think. "Um… I'm sorry Alphonse, I just… was thinking" I said simply.

"Yeah, right… of how much you want to talk to her, come on Edward, you're 17, almost 18 years old. You're not a kid anymore, and you need company! Or do you plan to live forever in that house of yours that you share with your father?" He stated, now in a serious tone. Of course he didn't know I didn't plan to stay here in the first place. He didn't know that, for the past year and a half that I had spent here, I dedicated all my time to find a way to get back to my world. With my brother. With… my Winry.

"Of course I don't plan to live there forever, but ---" I stated. "No buts this time Edward, don't you think I worry about you? It's been a while since I've talked with you and felt your whole attention. It's logical that you have lots on your mind, and a way to let it out it by meeting someone!" He said matter-of-factly. I looked at him and sighed. It seemed like he would never give up. He then whispered to me "At least go and talk with her, who knows what could happen".

I just watched him. I wasn't like this, I wasn't the kind of guy who simply approaches a girl and makes conversation with her. I wasn't the kind of guy who tried hitting with every chick he could lay eyes on. But it seemed that for Alphonse… that didn't matter right now. So, I got up from my seat with a sigh and headed to her direction.

I sat down next to her, to her right, the only empty seat in the whole bar. As she realizes this, she stopped her chatter with her friend, and turned to me. I turned to her discretely and I catch her smile. What a beautiful smile she has, the same one of my Winry. I thought, and I couldn't help but blush. I turned my head, in fear that she may had catched my pink face. I regretted almost at once that I had taken the advice of Alphonse. This wasn't going anywhere, no matter how different she looked from my Winry… I could still see her there, sitting by my side, smiling with that beautiful smile of hers.

I was brought out from my thoughts by a voice, a very familiar one, that I would had preferred not to listen. I instantly turned my head toward hers and watched her directly into the eyes. "Hi, I'm Winry Eberhardt" she said with that voice of hers, the same that I had dreamt with for a year and a half. She extended her hand in a friendly matter. And after I could recover from my shock, I shook her hand. It was as though her skin was burning against mine, it was as though she send an electrical pulse throughout my body by simply touching me. For a brief second I could see her, there, sitting at my side, the one and only, the one that had been hunting me in my dreams, the one that I couldn't dare forget… but I blinked, and it was gone, that beautiful sight of her was gone, and I was brought back to my senses by the confused stare of this Winry.

I looked down, towards my hand, and I found it still holding hers, as though it was afraid of letting go and never feeling that wonderful sensation again. I immediately let her go, and cleared my throat, it was so dry that I could had spent 40 days in a desert and feel it more wet that this. "I'm Edward Elric" I said, finding my voice again.

I could see her stare at me in shock. "Edward?" she said, almost in a whisper, and then, she started to laugh quietly. "It's such a coincidence, you know." I looked at her with a confused look. "It's because I'm waiting for someone… better say, my husband, and his name is Edward too" She said still giggling. "And now that I think about it" She looked at me straight in the eyes "You do have some kind of similarity with him, I mean, not physically, but I can see something in your eyes that reminds me of him" She paused as she said this. "But maybe it's just my imagination" She giggled again. "Because there's no one like him" She said simply.

I could only remain in shock. Since the word 'husband' had escaped from her mouth, I was in total shock. It was a painful thing to see and hear… to see the one person in this world that was like Winry, the one person in this world who talked like her… to see her smiling and then hear her saying that she had a husband… It was as thought my Winry, the one that was back home, was saying to me "I didn't wait for you, now I'm with someone else". I felt as thought my blood had dropped to my feet, and my senses had numbed. What if it was like this? What if this wasn't that different from there?

I looked toward the front door of the bar, to find a man that just came through it, he was tall, dark hair, dark eyes… he wasn't that ugly, and that explained the fact that every woman in the bar was now watching him. And realization hit me. A moment before, every woman in the bar was watching me closely, every movement I made, every breath I took. And now, it was his turn. His turn to be watched and admired… Was it possible that she acted the same way? Was it possible that she had forgotten me and moved on? Was she enjoying now the company of another man? Was she…?

I got up from my seat, a moment before I had learned that the man that had came through the door a moment ago was this Winry's husband. How did I found out? By simply watching her radiant smile and just by seeing how the light on her eyes seemed to burn wilder. She didn't have to call his name, or wave her hand, I already knew it. As I was walking towards the table I shared with Alphonse, I could hear a "Thanks, bye" coming from her, but I simply ignored it.

I was ready to face those two words that were spoken so easy. I wasn't ready to face the truth. I wasn't ready to accept her thanks and say good-by forever. I wasn't going to accept it… never.

I reached the table where Alphonse was still seating, and whispered a "Let's go" to him. He stood up from his seat, left the cash that paid our drinks and walked with me to the door and outside. We were welcomed by the chilly air of fall. The chilly air that meant that this winter was going to be even more harsh that the one before. But in that moment, I couldn't feel a thing. I began walking down the street side, toward my destination. My "home", or better call it, my "replacement for home".

Alphonse came by my side and looked at me straight in the face. He was worried, I could tell, and I knew he wanted to talk. "Edward, don't let you get down, there are plenty more of fishes in the sea" he said simply. I didn't say a word. He then said "Actually, I took you to the bar so we could talk" I looked towards him, with a faked interested look. "And I wanted to celebrate too" he said with a smile on his face. Now I was curious, and he knew that, it was his objective, for me to ask him what was going on. Of course, I wasn't going to give in that easily, so I stayed quiet.

"Edward" He started. "I'm going away" I stopped in my tracks, making him stop too. I was sure I heard wrong, he just said he was going away. "A guy in London is searching for someone that knows of rocketry, he is willing to sponsor one man that it's good enough" He said with a smile "This is my chance, and I'm taking it" He said with a strong, decided voice.

I could only stay quiet. This meant only one thing.

I'll need to work on my own… I'll need to research on my own…

I'll be on my own…

Alone…

To be continued…

And… that's it! I hope you have liked it… I promise that this is going to get better and better, so keep up with it.. for now…

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