Hello again everyone! Sorry again for all the delays, if you don't know from reading Faded Beauty as well I just got a job and that's been putting writing even further on the backburner. I hope you'll enjoy with chapter, minor trigger warnings for it mostly just depictions of sensory issues and anxiety but there are also brief mentions of toxic/abusive parent children relationships near the end. Please take care of yourselves and thank you for reading.
"I'm telling you it was the most hilarious shit I've ever seen," Remus insisted.
"Now Remus, what have we said about profanities?" Emile asked sternly.
Remus bent himself over the picnic table, grabbing at the other side, shuffling against Virgil's belongings.
"To try to limit them to at most five a day," Remus grumbled before continuing to mutter. "Around you."
"I heard that young man," Emile sighed.
"Hun, you know that's impossible for us," Remy laughed, his iced coffee sloshing in his hand.
"I was under the impression this was a homework session. I take it both of you have already finished everything?" Janus hummed sarcastically at both Remy and Remus's lack of focus.
Virgil hissed to himself as he pressed his headphones further into his ears as he tried to replay the next homework question for the six time. He didn't understand why he still couldn't figure out what he was doing. It was worded weirdly and the constant babbling of the others was too hard to block out. The words playing in the headphones were just that, words. He couldn't connect them into sentences. No amount of covering his ears to muffle all sounds but those from his computer or replaying the audio was helping the situation. His jaw was starting to ache from the stressed clenching of his jaw, just another disturbance or distraction.
"Hey, Vi, you okay?" Emile asked worriedly, taking notice of Virgil's growing tension.
"I'm fine!" Virgil snapped frustratedly, slamming the lid of his computer closed.
Remy scooted over on the picnic table bench to be closer to Virgil, placing a careful hand on his shoulder.
"That's not the tone or actions of someone who's fine, Doll," Remy said in a gentle tone.
Virgil bit his lower lip and lowered his head to hide the frustrated tears welling in his waterline.
"We're all friends here, you can talk to us if you're getting upset or anxious," Emile added.
"Just frustrated…" Virgil muttered.
Janus, who was sitting on his other side, reached an arm around him to sooth his trembling.
"What's got you frustrated?" Remy asked.
"I just can't do this stupid homework! It doesn't make any sense. I can't focus on what it's saying. I'm trying, I'm really trying I just can't!" Virgil complained, his hands flexing and clenching in his lap, scraping at the fabric of his jeans. .
Energy was building tightly in his chest without escape, he wanted to scream, cry, run, but his own humiliation over a breakdown from a simple homework question was keeping him bound to his seat, trying to lock down the worst of it.
"Well I most certainly couldn't see how this might result, this is an absolutely perfect work environment, it's not at all like there are a bunch of noises and distractions to justify your inability to comprehend the question," Janus said sarcastically.
Virgil chuckled softly, same old Janus from elementary school, fluent sarcasm.
"Vi, we're in the same classes and have the same homework. Just give yourself a little bit of a break to breathe and relax and we can do the homework together, help eachother out, you know?" Remy suggested.
"Heh, thanks guys, I'll try again in a bit," Virgil said, still keeping his blind gaze low.
"Sorry, 'bout distracting you," Remus muttered awkwardly, having been the only one who stayed quiet while the others aided Virgil.
"It's okay, you didn't mean it," Virgil quickly reassured him.
A soft song of a wind chime sounded from within Virgil's pocket and his expression instantly lit up with excitement, almost completely chasing away his previous anxiety to give the energy new purpose. He fished out his phone and snatched his headphones from his computer to plug them into his phone instead.
"Imma just take an educated guess and say that there was the ringtone he uses for little Patty, hmm?" Remus smirked knowingly.
"Nah, I know Patton's they are always chatting, it's a water drop," Remy replied.
Virgil frowned indignantly as he held the phone close to his chest.
"It's actually Logan," he corrected embarrassedly.
"No need to be embarrassed, Virgil. We just find it very wholesome how you light up when you hear a notification for them," Emile chuckled.
"If I didn't know better I'd say that crush of yours has spread from Patton to Logan as well, how long before Roman joins the rest in that heart of yours?" Janus asked teasingly.
"I-" Virgil cut himself off, completely flustered by everyone calling him out. "Shut up! You're all as much of poliamorous gay messes as I am."
"None of us are denying that one, Gurl," Remy smirked proudly.
Virgil tsked softly as he turned on his phone screen, using his voice app to instruct the phone to open and read his new message for him.
"One new message from Logan: Pardon me, I thought I might send a message and see how you were doing and ask if you had any plans for around five o'clock tonight? That is when we typically got to the cafeteria to eat dinner and we'd love for you to join us again. We've found ourselves quite enjoying your company."
Virgil smiled at words the robotic text to speech application read out for him. It meant the world to him that they thought about him so often and genuinely wanted to be around him. He knew it was platonic, they had an established relationship, it'd be a struggle for them to even consider something romantic with him, but he could almost convince himself of the fantasy of Patton and Logan gaining romantic interest in him, even perhaps Roman becoming more comfortable with his presence. Maybe Janus was right and he could find himself growing more attached to Roman as well, even in a romantic sense, he'd really been trying his best around Virgil even if his welcoming actions were a bit strange and forced after the friction of their initial meeting. He could see himself loving all of them, but yet that reality seemed so painful. It was all too real of a possibility they'd never reciprocate his affection.
"Virgil? You seem sad again. Did Logan say something?" Emile worried.
He felt Remy physically tensing at the suggestion. Even without his sight he could feel the intense protective energy Remy was giving off as he stared down at Virgil's slouching form in anticipation.
"No, no! Logan didn't do anything, I don't think he ever would without reason. I was just… thinking… you know?" Virgil said, raising his furrowed brows slightly as he smiled.
"About you liking them again?" Remy guessed.
Virgil snapped his fingers twice.
"Yup that's the one," he laughed softly in exasperation before leaning down to pet his dog who lay behind where he sat on the park bench, who was whining softly at all of Virgil's recent distress.
"Emo, I'm giving you my complete honesty right now so pay attention okay? You think my brother likes you the least out of all of them, right? He never shuts up about you. Like seriously, if he isn't talking about Patton and Logan, he's going on and on about you, in a good way. Now, if you think he genuinely likes you the least, can you imagine what Patton and Logan are like? Stop worrying. If I hear any self loathing comments about how they'll never like you the way you like them I will confess your feelings to them for you," Remus threatened.
"You wouldn't dare," Virgil glared.
"Fucking try me," Remus countered.
"Remus will in fact not be confessing for you, I will personally kill him if he does,"
"Kinky," Remus said, cutting Janus off temporarily.
"Ehem, however, he is correct that I don't believe you have much to worry about. I know it is hard with your anxiety but, relax and put trust in them to realize and reciprocate," Janus continued.
"Heh, thanks guys," Virgil chuckled before addressing his voice command on his phone asking it to type out his text. "It's great to hear from you Logan, I'd love to have dinner with you three. I'll see you then?"
Soon after sending his message the phone went off twice, once with the sound of windchimes and the other with the sound of snare drums. He frowned softly at the second, far to familiar sound. He took a deep inward sigh before asking his phone to read off the messages.
"Two missed messages. One missed message from Logan: That is excellent news, I look forward to seeing you there. … One missed message from Mom: I haven't been hearing much from you recently dear. You've been so busy, you can spare some time this weekend for us to come up and visit, right?"
Virgil sighed. He wasn't really sure why but he really didn't want to see his mom or dad. Probably because of the guilt of seeing Patton again, not to mention his other soulmates. He always told them everything except for his sexuality, if they found out he'd been lying they might be even more mad and disappointed in him than if he'd just come out in the first place and dealt with the issue of having a soulmate of their wrong gender to his sexual preferences. His mom had been acting weird lately as well, she was really persistent about wanting to see him. It was probably because she just missed him since she'd never left her son's side for even a night since he was born and now he was hours away at college, but he worried it might because she was suspicious of the distance he'd been putting between them himself.
"What does your mom want now?" Remy asked.
"She wants to come up this weekend, as per usual," Virgil sighed, knowing Remy already knew the extent of how often his mother had been asking to visit, weekdays and weekends alike.
"Are you gonna say yes this time or claim you and I have yet another big test to study for?" he smirked.
Virgil paused for a moment.
"I guess I should say yes for once, she's gonna start getting suspicious if I say no yet again," Virgil conceded, turning to address his phone. "Write message to contact Mom, I miss you both too. I have time on Saturday if you and dad want to come up this weekend? Send."
Virgil clicked off his phone and sighed, stretching to crack his back.
"Soooo, you're heading out to be with those three again at five?" Remy clarified.
"Yeah?" Virgil replied with a raised brow.
"Then you might want to think about getting ready, it's already four twenty," he smirked.
"Huh! I'm sorry, I don't want to seem like I'm just dipping out on you guys. Is it really okay that I go?" Virgil asked.
"Of course it is, Virge," Emile smiled. "Go ahead and spend some time with them. Enjoy your dinner."
"Highly unlikely, cafeteria food sucks, but thanks," Virgil beamed as he shoved his computer in his bag and got up. "Come on Ember, let's go home."
"Don't forget we're doing that homework problem when you get back," Remy called over to the fleeting figure.
"Thanks again Rem," Virgil said over his shoulder before disappearing beyond the boundaries of the campus courtyard, rounding the corners of one of the tall buildings.
"There's something that has to be said for soulmates in this scenario. He could have loved just about anyone on campus and yet the ones he finds himself naturally meeting up with and falling for are none other than the soulmates he has no knowledge of being connected to," Emile mused wistfully.
"I'd say it was quite spectacular if the origins of this 'case study' wasn't so sick and twisted," Janus replied with a distasteful glare in the direction Virgil had gone.
"I agree, it's sick his parents ever decided this was a 'good idea'. And I'm very scared of what'll happen if his mother learns more than the narrative I've fed her to keep her away from Virgil's happiness in this matter," Remy fretted.
"You said she loved him right? And that's why she did all of this, because she was scared? I don't think she'd purposely hurt him again if she learned. It's not like she'd 'accidentally' break is phone and make sure the new one didn't have any of our contacts or even the same number so we could get in touch with him, validating it because he doesn't know any better and then emotionally abusing and manipulating him into dropping out of college because he's blind and can't handle the real world and she should be allowed to take care of him for the rest of her life and he'll never be allowed out from under the careful protective watch," Remus shrugged causally.
Remy stared back at him with wide eyes, his skin having gone ashen with horror.
"Remus, I love you. But please never put ideas like that in my head again," Remy pleaded.