It just occurred to me that I didn't make any author notes at all in the last chapter. So here goes:

As the reader, you should know that I'm conveniently choosing to ignore the fact that Dumbledore is dead. (I'm in denial, really; I love Snape! I want to believe that he is good and that there is some way that Dumbledore didn't really die. So far I'm sticking with the Polyjuice Potion theory.)

I got the idea for this story from a really old challenge on WIKTT. I am in no way claiming the plot as original.

Dumbledore is probably going to seem a little OOC. However, by this point he is really old and starting to border on senile; I'm going for the mildly crazy older genius vibe. So with that in mind, hopefully his role in this story won't seem like too much of a stretch. And, well, you never know with Dumbledore. He takes no action without planning out every move first. I am doing my best to keep Snape as in-character as possible, but with some of the rules on the challenge he may seem a little off. This is a humorous story above all, so expect some funny surprises!

Okays, on with the story…

"Well, I guess we're going on a roadtrip then, aren't we?"

Snape continued to glare at Hermione, his mind hardly comprehending the position he was in. Either he must participate in this absurd "roadtrip", as the know-it-all called it, or he must forfeit the Dark Arts position to Harry Potter, his least favorite student to say the least. He closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to regain the power in this negotiation, but he knew he had no choice. Turning to the headmaster, Snape opened his eyes and nodded his consent.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Dumbledore. Standing abruptly, he turned back to the record player and proceeded to blast "My Funny Valentine", and without any regard to his audience began to softly sway his hips. "This is music that ought to be danced to." Turning swiftly, he looked around in surprise. "I see Severus has already left us. Well, then, may I have this dance, Miss Granger?"

Hermione glanced to her left only to find the chair next to her empty. How had Snape managed to escape the mild insanity that was Dumbledore's office? Lucky bastard! Sighing inwardly, she looked back to Dumbledore with a smile and rose to join him in a slow dance.

As soon as Dumbledore had began to slightly move in beat with the obnoxiously slow song, Snape had fled the room. Dumbledore in any kind of rhythmic movement was a bad, bad idea, especially sans partner.

It was on pure instinct that Snape ran, the plucking overtones of a cello chasing him down the stairs. He was not afraid of dancing with Dumbledore; no, the old man had forced into situations more humiliating before. He was only afraid that Dumbledore would force him to dance with the girl. Although, Snape admitted inwardly, Hermione Granger was hardly a girl anymore. She was a professor now, a woman, an actual adult. Regardless of her age, however, Snape had a difficult time viewing her as a degree-wielding colleague instead of the bushy-haired overconfident first year he had taught so many years ago.

Since the war had ended, Snape had been undeniably alone. He had had enough of human entanglements and simply wanted to be left to himself for the rest of his time on God's green earth. Dumbledore, on the other hand, had different desires. He had left Snape to his lonesome for the first year after Voldemort's defeat, but when Snape displayed no sign of reemergence into society other than teaching, he began to subtly, and then not so subtly, point out to Snape the values of companionship. Snape smirked as he thought of their various discussions. Dumbledore saw only good in partnership. What good was loneliness? Snape saw partnership as limiting, troublesome, and ultimately pointless. What good was co-dependence? When Dumbledore had left the subject untouched for a month, Snape had thought it dropped, but at the revelation of the headmaster's latest scheme in the name of academics, his suspicions rose. Was Dumbledore really just looking for information on a particularly hideous decade, or was there another reason for this roadtrip?

Suddenly a pair of looming glasses interrupted his thoughts. Snape stopped his fast-paced stalking (he had forgotten that he was running but refused to admit as much in his own mind) and looked down in annoyance at Minerva McGonagall. Her face was wearing its usual severe expression, but he could see a trace of amused curiosity in her eyes.

"I wonder what it is that could make the most-feared professor in the history of Hogwarts run through the hallways like a scared child?"

Snape glared down hard at her, hoping she would decide it best not to push the subject. When she continued to stare at him unblinking, he sighed slightly, remembering that his former teacher had never been intimidated by him. He looked at her again, letting only a little of his dejection show on his features. "Dumbledore."

McGonagall blinked, with a what-has-he-made-you-do-now look.

Snape just shook his head at her. "You do not want to know," he responded to her unasked question and abruptly strode away.

Minerva watched Snape for a brief moment before deciding she did want to know. And when an extremely irate-looking Hermione rounded the corner and stormed past without a second glance, her curiosity only grew.

Hermione slammed the doors to her bedroom and threw herself down on the bed. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to stop thinking about what had transpired in the last hour. Only good thoughts. Go to your happy place. Zen...Eight seconds later she gave up and sat upright. She grabbed two pillows and promptly threw one across the room and punched the other one, finally free to vent her frustration after pretending compliance in the presence of Dumbledore. When had he decided that she was incapable of conducting the project on her own? She supposed it was not entirely unreasonable for him to be worried about her safety; however, the fact that he wanted someone else there to supervise her research felt like a slap in the face. It was as though her degree in Muggle Studies was meaningless. Even worse, though, was that her escort was to be Severus Snape.

Snape had never liked her. Now that they taught the same students, that fact had not changed. He was polite, even civil, but most definitely not friendly. Hermione smothered a groan in yet another pillow. How was she to survive traveling with the man? He had barely spoken ten words to her since she began teaching at Hogwarts two years ago.

Hermione lay back on the bed once more, her tumultuous thoughts beginning to slow. Everything in her wanted to curl into a ball and hide from Snape and Dumbledore for the next month. Rationale and denial battled within Hermione as she lay with her eyes closed, willing it all to disappear, but the adult in her knew that denying the situation would only postpone the inevitable. With a defeated sigh, she resigned herself to the fact that she would be spending three weeks trapped in a car with Snape.

Minerva McGonagall burst into Dumbledore's office without so much as a knock. Dumbledore promptly glanced up from his record player and grinned.

Minerva strode up to his desk, never looking away from the smug look on Dumbledore's face. "What have you done?"

Dumbledore looked away, shuffling some papers on his desk, grin slipping. "Why, Minerva, I have no idea what you are referring to."

"You know full well what I am referring to."

"I'm afraid I do not. Look, a record player! Now, Minerva," turning to face her with that idiotic grin back in place, "it would be a shame to have music and no dancing. Shall we?"

McGonagall quickly snatched the record Dumbledore was about to start playing. "Don't change the subject!"

"But I thought you liked it when I was romantic..."

"Albus."

"...and spontaneous."

She pointed at Dumbledore and shook her accusing fist in his face. "You were matchmaking!"

Dumbledore feigned shocked outrage at such an allegation. "I would never!"

"Oh, please spare me, Albus! You have been dying to get Snape paired off and you know it." Minerva sat down, exasperated. "And after you promised you would stop playing God! For shame!"

Dumbledore had found another record and was zealously trying to play it. "Severus has been alone for far too long," he replied, struggling with the needle. "Besides, Hermione Granger and Severus Snape were practically made for each other." Scratch. "Merlin's beard!"

Minerva distractedly reached out for the troublesome needle and, replacing the unusable disc, effortlessly placed it on a scratch-free record. Yes, even Minerva had to admit that Snape and Hermione were two opposites that would definitely attract, given the right circumstances. They were about as different as granite and cotton balls. She burrowed her brow in thought. Forgetting herself, she looked at Dumbledore. The damn fool may have been on to something.

Dumbledore smiled in triumph. Minerva immediately grimaced. This isn't over, she sent through her eyes. Dumbledore nodded in acquiescence. She quickly strode out of the office, eager to get away from Dumbledore's probing eyes. She hated that he could see what she was thinking so easily. But she wasn't angry that he had pushed his way into her mind, or even that he had so ruthlessly fixed Snape and Hermione up. She was just angry that she hadn't thought of the pair first.

Yay, chapter two! Much thanks to Softballchick dreaowa, Joy Cutting, siriuslyblack04, and kiwi6498 for reviewing!

I can almost promise that the next chapter will be posted within five days. Sorry for the long delay (college is sort of kicking my ass right now). I can also promise that from here on out the chapters will be longer and there will be more dialogue and more jokes. I know that up until now there hasn't been much talking among characters. Trust me, once we trap Snape and Hermione in a car together, that is sure to change.

Please review! Seriously, it makes my day. If you see anything that you think should be edited or revised, if you have any questions, or even if there is something you would like to see in later chapters, let me know in review or email.

All Harry Potter characters were used without permission. They are the copyright of J.R. Rowling and Warner Bros. They are used with consideration and with no intent to make money.

Peace and love homies!