Hey, hey everyone! Welcome back. This chapter has several themes and references to anxiety, losing people you care about, mutual awkwardness. I think that is it for warnings, please correct me if I am wrong. As always, take care of yourselves, thank you for reading and have a wonderful day.
Drip, drip, drip… Drip, drip, drip…
Virgil groaned as he woke up to the sound of his phone going off. He didn't even bother opening his eyes to avoid any issues with light sensitivity. He groped around the edge of his bed to grab his phone. He commanded his voice app to answer the call and put it up to his ear.
"Mnn, hello?" Virgil yawned.
"Oh hey Kiddo, did I wake you up?" Patton asked from the other end of the line.
"Nah, it's fine. What's up Patt?" Virgil inquired, doing his best to sound awake.
"I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to go out with me to the mall today," Patton replied.
"Yeah, sure, I'm always up for hanging out with you three," Virgil replied, letting out a bit of a tired groan as he sat up in bed.
"I actually just meant you and me, if you want to that is," Patton corrected nervously.
"O-oh! J-just us? Alone?" Virgil clarified panickedly, much louder than he intended to.
"Shut up, 'm tryin' to sleep" Remy grumbled, chucking a small stuffed coffee cup across the room to hit Virgil's leg.
"Sorry Rem! I, um, I'm up for just going out with you today. I mean hanging out. Um, I'll see you then I guess. Wait, I mean where and when? Sorry I almost forgot to get those details. Heh, guess I'm tired," Virgil rambled nervously.
"Hahaha, I'll walk over in a little bit and meet with you at your dorm. What do you think about meeting in twenty minutes?" Patton asked with a soft chuckle.
"Y-yeah, that'll be great Patt. I'll see you then," Virgil replied with a soft smile.
"Bye kiddo, see you in a bit!" Patton chirped cheerfully before ending the call.
Virgil let out a happy sigh as he fell back into his bed. Him and Patton alone, it couldn't get any better than that. It wasn't like it was a date but still, he could have one day to monopolize Patton's time and pretend for just a second he had a chance with him.
Anxiety welled up in his throat as he thought about it for a moment. He really wanted it to go well but there was so much that could go wrong. Patton could become upset with the fact Virgil couldn't do all the same things Patton could. Virgil could do something stupid to draw everyone's attention at the mall and cause troubles for him. He could accidentally be too honest with his feelings and make Patton uncomfortable or even make him and the rest of his soulmates hate him forever.
"Remy you've gotta help me!" Virgil complained, covering his heated cheeks with his hands in an attempt to hide himself from his own internal humiliation.
"But 'm sleeping," Remy mumbled into his pillows.
"It's past time your narcoleptic ass should be up anyways. I'm having an anxious gay problem and you're the only person I know who can fix it," Virgil snapped.
"You just up too, Brat," Remy groaned, his bed creaking as he sat up. "But fine, I'm up. What's the issue?"
"Patton invited me on a.. Well not date, but one on one hang out situation thing and I have no idea what I'm doing. Should I call and cancel and just say I'm sick? I'm gonna mess everything up if I go. He's gonna realize how boring it is to be around a blind person. Or I'm gonna let on to my feelings. Or I'll embarrass him somehow… And if I do then he won't want to even be my friend anymore and I'll lose him again and it'll be high school all over again. I don't want to go through that again. I may have chosen to do it the first time but it hurt so much. I don't even know why it hurt that much. I lost Janus before in my life and I felt so heartbroken but it was nothing like Patton, is that really just what a crush feels like? I can't stand the thought of not seeing him and being around him, it's like some kind of fucking drug. And Logan is so amazing too, I've got such strong feelings for him, I'm afraid of losing him too now. I just met him. Heaven forbid I get attached to that over dramatic prince next. Uhg, I'm gonna ruin our friendship because my stupid emotions want to be fucking selfish when I know perfectly well I don't have a chance with them and even if I did I couldn't be with them because I'm too terrified of my parents figuring it out, you know like an idiot."
Virgil stopped rambling when a gentle hand rested on his shoulder. Another hand gently batted away his hands that he hadn't even realized he'd twisted so tightly in his hair. Remy pulled Virgil into a sideways hug, resting his chin on top of Virgil's head surrounding him with warmth and the lingering smell of coffee grinds that was in all of his clothing.
"Shh, it's gonna be alright Babe. They don't want to lose you either, no one is going to leave you again," he murmured soothingly, one hand gently rubbing the arm of the trembling smaller male. "Don't cry on me, your eyes are too pretty to be all red and puffy."
"They're gonna be covered by my sunglasses anyways you idiot," Virgil chuckled with a slight sniff as he blinked away the burning sensation in his eyes.
"The point still remains. Now, Patton is a lot like my Emmy. He's very kind and understanding, although Patton is a bit more of a flighty air head from what I've seen of him… Either way, he'll never intentionally hurt you. He understands and loves every part of you and that includes your blindness. He wanted to spend time with you, he's accepting of your circumstances. And if you do slip up and tell him you have romantic feelings for him or something then honestly I bet you ten bucks and a starbucks coffee that he'll at least be flattered if not more," Remy said.
"Heh, I'd take you up on that bet if I wasn't so afraid to let it ever happen," Virgil replied, leaning further against Remy's chest.
"What do you say I take you to the bathroom and help you get all dolled up for Patton, hm?" Remy suggested.
"Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks Rem," Virgil replied.
"Don't sweat it, Gurl. I've always got your back. By the way, how far are you willing to go with makeup, you usually smear eyeshadow and your lower lid but, I've got some fun ideas," Remy beamed as he began dragging Virgil towards their shared bathroom.
"Why does this make me feel so concerned?" Virgil fretted as he began to follow a bit more reluctantly.
"Shhh, I'm gonna make you beautiful."
Virgil sincerely hoped that was exactly what Remy did. He wasn't used to upper lid eyeshadow, or eyeliner, or concealer, or lip tint. Remy had even gone as far as picking out his outfit which he'd insisted he borrowed a leather jacket from him for. Virgil wasn't sure if he was glad or utterly horrified by the fact he couldn't tell what he looked like at this point. Remy could've done anything and it could be weird, but if he could see he'd probably be embarrassed or start nitpicking the details.
Virgil lightly bit at his inner lower lip as he waited outside of his dorm for Patton to arrive, Ember resting on top of his feet.
"Virgil! Sorry I'm late!" A voice called over, accompanied by running footsteps.
"It's fine Patt, it also took me a while to get ready," Virgil chuckled embarrassedly.
"I can see why; you look so handsome! Did Remy help with the makeup?" Patton asked.
"Y-yeah he did. I-I'm glad he didn't do anything silly," Virgil replied, his head shifting downwards in an attempt to hide the growing heat on his face.
"Nope! You look great, but then again Virgil is always a very good looking person. Handsome with a cute personality, a perfect combination," Patton chirped thoughtfully.
Virgil pinched his eyes closed as he heat continued to grow. He wasn't used to these types of complements, especially from someone like Patton.
"Shouldn't we be getting to the mall?" Virgil asked.
"Ah! Yeah, we better go or we'll miss the bus!" Patton realized, taking Virgil's hand and rushing them towards the bus stop.
Virgil yelped, stumbling a bit as he got his footing right to follow the leading hand of the now giggling man. A soft smile crossed his face as he settled into a comfortable quick trot, sandwiched between Patton and Ember.
Patton got them to and then on the bus. By the time Virgil was guided to sit down in one of the seats near the front of the buss he was huffing slightly.
"God I'm so out of shape," Virgil sighed, slouching into his seat.
"Hahaha, well you don't look it," Patton replied, poking Virgil's stomach.
"I have, like, no muscles or endurance. I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'd manage to hurt myself if I ever tried doing more than a slow walk for exercise. Which I mean, she's not wrong about, I'm pretty danger prone. You saw me almost get hit by a car," Virgil grinned, only half joking.
"Well you seemed pretty okay running here," Patton pointed out.
Virgil tucked his chin against his chest to hide slightly in the collar of the leather jacket as he played with his hands.
"Well, I guess that's because I have you by my side to protect me," He replied with a half smile.
Virgil's eyes widened when Patton wrapped his arms around him in a hug.
"In that case I'll always stay by your side to protect you, so let's do a lot of things together, okay?" Patton mumbled as he nestled his head into the crook of Virgil's shoulder for a moment.
Virgil sat there a moment unsure how to reciprocate, his heart just racing in his chest. Patton was so close he could probably hear it. Still, to be touched so casually by Patton like this, it seemed worth it. Virgil tentatively wrapped his own arms around Patton and relaxed into the embrace.
"Then I'll be looking forward to every minute of it," Virgil replied.
Patton slid his arms off of Virgil but still leaned against the blind male's side as the bus bounced along the road on the short route that would take them closer to the nearby mall. Virgil did his best to hold still at each bump, not wanting to be too rigid that he'd make Patton worry but also not wanting him to be uncomfortable when Virgil was too jostled around and they'd collide.
The loud squealing brakes of the bus rang out and they made their way off the vehicle.
"So. What's your plans for coming to the mall today?" Virgil asked as he leaned down to double check Ember's harness and leash were on properly before they headed up towards the large building.
"I figured we could just figure it out as we go, you know?" Patton chirped.
Virgil let out a soft chuckle. He'd give the world to be able to be as carefree as Patton was sometimes.
The two of them headed up the steps into the parking lot of the main entrance. Virgil walked a step behind Patton, keeping close to his back, trusting the other to pick up on any dangers he may have missed, he didn't trust himself after that incident a while back.
"Oh hey look! They are playing Love Pup in the cinema now, we should totally go watch it, it looks so cute!" Patton exclaimed excitedly as they approached the doors, presumably reading some signs about what was playing in the mall cinema not far from the main entrance's door.
"Huh?" Virgil blinked in confusion with a furrowed brow as he entered through the automatic doors.
"Love Pup? It's a new Rom-Com about an animal shelter and a long lost romance between soulmates. It looks so heartwarming and cute! We should totally go watch… Oh, wait… movies probably aren't as fun for you as they are for me. Wait neither is window shopping, is it? I'm sorry, I didn't think this through. I should've come up with a better idea for you. This won't be any fun for you. I mean we can still get food, then maybe we could try heading somewhere else, okay?" Patton suggested.
It was a quick flip. Patton had been so happy, bubbly, and carefree before, now he seemed as nervous and sad. As true as it was that Virgil was a bit harder to entertain, he didn't want Patton sacrificing his own happiness.
Virgil built up his confidence and followed the scent of popcorn and the faint sound of theater audio equipment, walking ahead of Patton without a word to lead them.
"Virgil? Where are you going?" Patton asked flusteredly.
"To the theater, the movie you want to watch sounds pretty interesting," Virgil replied.
"We don't have to do anything that you won't enjoy, Virgil," Patton insisted.
"I might be blind but I'm not deaf. I don't mind listening to movies. And any part I don't understand I'll just have to rely on you to explain to me, okay?" Virgil said, smiling back at Patton. "Besides, I'm a sucker for popcorn."
Patton skipped up to take his place right beside Virgil, letting out a happy hum once again.
"Can I put m&ms in the popcorn, please?" Patton pleaded, clearly beaming with renewed happiness.
"Heh, yeah that sounds fun," Virgil chuckled with his own soft smile of relief.
He was glad. He'd do anything to protect Patton's cheerful glow, watching some movie for him was nothing.
They got a large popcorn, two boxes of m&ms and two soda and went in to watch the movie, settling down in the comfortable, reclinable theater seats. Virgil brought up the foot of his seat and patted his legs for Ember to jump up and lie down on his lap. With the room being as dark as it was Virgil shifted his sunglasses up on top of his forehead to give his nose a bit of a break from the consistent pressure.
"Your eyes are pretty," Patton commented nonchalantly as he dumped the m&ms into the popcorn.
"What?"
"I've never gotten to see them before. They look so unique, almost like silvery clouds," Patton explained.
Virgil offered a small embarrassed smile. He was aware his pupils and iris were misshapen and cloudy but he'd never heard anyone describe them the same way Patton did. Patton really was too kind for his own good.
As the movie started Virgil relaxed back into his seat, closing his eyes and crossing his arms, listening into the audio to try to get a sense of what was going on. Patton was edger to explain detail that was going on through the movie, although he was quite emotional throughout the whole thing, crying over both how cute the animals are, how happy he was the animals were getting adopted finally, and also how happy he was the soulmates were back together after having been separated by a misunderstanding for so long. Virgil just smiled and occasionally gave Patton a few comforting pats whenever he got too emotional.
"Come on Patt, the movie wasn't that sad, it had a happy ending right? You can stop sniffling now," Virgil laughed as they left the theater.
"But it was! It was so sad and sweet. She was so a-afraid she'd lost her soulmate again. It'd hurt s-so much to lose your soulmate once, but twice? And if that wasn't enough then she lost the poor three legged puppy she wanted to adopt. But then he came back and it turned out he was the one who adopted the puppy for her and the engagement ring on the it's collar. How can a movie be so painfully sweet!" Patton cried, sniffling as he rubbed at his cheeks with the sleeves of his cat hoodie.
"I was there, Patton, I'm aware of what happened. The movie was a comedy," Virgil pointed out.
"But the angst Virgil! The angst!" Patton replied, his sniffles dying down as he argued.
"Heh, yeah I guess there were a decent amount of angsty moments. It hurts a lot even losing friends, a romantic soulmate would be a lot worse, wouldn't it?" Virgil chuckled sadly.
Patton stayed silent a moment before his hand loosely gripped at the sleeve of Virgil's hoodie.
"Wanna go get some food?" he asked.
"Sure?" Virgil replied, a bit concerned by Patton's sudden avoidance of the topic.
They made their way to the nearby food court, Patton never releasing the sleeve as he pressed close to Virgil's side. They ended up going to the Subway and ordering some sandwiches before finding amongst the busy tables.
"I still find that proposal really cute. Like who could say no to a dog, muchless a dog they already love, giving them the proposal from the person they love?" Patton finally stated as they sat.
"Is that something you'd want Roman or Logan to do for you one day?" Virgil asked.
"Heh, in a perfect world, yeah. But polyamorous couples still can't be married and I can't stand the thought of just pairing off with one of my soulmates even if it is just in the governments eyes," Patton explained before taking a small bite out of his sub.
"Well no one said you had to legally get married. You can still have, like, an unofficial engagement, wedding, honeymoon, all that junk. Who cares about legally being married anyways? It just causes more taxes and stuff. The whole joint bank accounts thing might be a pain but it's not the end of the world. But medical wise, just as soulmates you already have the same rights as a married couple so it isn't really needed," Virgil pointed out with a disinterested shrug.
"Hehehe, I didn't take you for the anti-marriage type," Patton laughed.
"I'm just being realistic with your situation. Is it.. Is it a bad thing?" Virgil asked worriedly.
"No not at all," Patton grinned.
Patton let out a thoughtful hum as he continued to eat.
"So what do you want to do next? You sat through my shenanigans. So what's something you'd like?" He asked.
"Well we can still go look around some stores if you like. I'm sure there is a music store around here or something," Virgil replied.
Patton gave a hum of agreement as he continued to eat his sub. After a moment he froze with a little gasp.
"Wait, you don't get to enjoy going to zoos do you?" Patton suddenly asked.
"Heh, where in the world did that one come from?"
"Well I was thinking about how it made sense you prefer auditory things to visual things and then I realized you don't get to see cute animals, which made me realize you wouldn't like the zoo, which makes me sad because you won't be able to enjoy yourself if you came to visit me my future workplace," Patton pouted.
"You plan to work at a zoo?" Virgil asked.
"Mhm! I'm taking zoology and I intend to continue on with veterinary school and become a zoo vet," Patton chirped cheerfully.
"Well, you've still got Logan and Roman to enjoy frequent visits to your workplace."
"But I want Virgie," Patton said, instantly returning back to his pout.
"Well I'd be more than happy to visit you at the zoo just to see you. I can enjoy your company perfectly fine without my sight," Virgil replied, muffling himself in his sub to try to hide his embarrassment.
"Then make sure to visit me lots, okay? Not just with work," Patton said.
"No complaints here, Pops," Virgil smirked.
Just like that their afternoon went by wonderfully. Patton took him to the music shop to listen to some albums for a while. Patton had taken to holding his hand the entire time, claiming it was because he didn't want to risk Virgil getting lost in the crowd. Whatever the reason, Virgil was utterly thrilled to have Patton so casually lacing his fingers together with his. He focused more on the close contact than he did on the music. Then he let himself be led between the two pet shops of the mall, allowing Patton to take the hand that spent the majority of the time connected to Patton's to pet the soft wooly bunnies on display and the fluffy kittens that attempted to play with their fingers through the bars of the cage.
It was a completely satisfying and happy afternoon for both parties. Still, soon it was time for them to go back home to their real lives. Patton didn't miss the opportunity to walk Virgil back from the bus stop to just outside the doors to the dormitory building Virgil lived in.
"Thanks for dropping me off at my dorm Patt. You should probably get back to your own before Roman and Logan get lonely without you," Virgil chuckled.
Patton moved closer to Virgil and placed his hands on Virgil's shoulders. He could feel Patton's slight tremors and his own brow furrowed worriedly, wondering what was wrong.
"I really had fun today, Virgil."
Virgil braced himself for a "but" statement but instead he was shocked as Patton planted a lingering kiss on his cheek.
"I hope we can go out again sometime soon."
"Uhuh…" Was all Virgil could manage to get out of his mouth as he still stood frozen in place with shock.
"See you soon Kiddo, have a great night," Patton called over his shoulder as he quickly left Virgil alone.
Virgil staggered until his legs hit into a bench and he shakily sat down, cupping the kissed cheek with a hand. Patton had kissed him. Just like that, unprovoked. It couldn't be possible Patton liked him back. He probably meant it as a friendly gesture, like a parent kissing their child's cheek.
It was an amazing dream however. A date ended by a shy kiss on the cheek. Patton loved him as much as he loved Patton. They could be together finally after so much longing.
Virgil couldn't dare dwell on that dream long. If that were the reality, it'd mean Patton was cheating on his soulmates with him.