Wow, is she actually alive? Yes, yes I am. Sorry again that these updates are taking so long. Work, my sister's grad school graduation, my own twentieth birthday, and other such event have been taking up my days and when I've had free time I've been too tired to write. Hopefully, that'll get a bit better, we'll have to see what the summer holds. However I will say that this chapter was surprisingly hard to write, because although I've been so looking forward to writing this chapter I had both too many and too few ideas and no idea how to work with them. So I apologize if that reflects in the writing. So I present to you the chapter I had desperately wanted to have posted on April first. Trigger warnings for this chapter are as followed: General senses of anxiety, disrespect of service animals, discussions on phobias, misunderstandings, mentions of a struggling relationship and it's affect on their children, and self deprecation. As always take care of yourself and thank you for reading!
"Virgil, go answer your boyfriend's phone call!" Remy called from the bathroom.
"None of them are my boyfriend's and I'm a bit caught up at the moment!" Virgil called back frustratedly.
Virgil sighed as the sound of windchimes continued to ring out of his phone's speakers from somewhere across the room in his bed. Meanwhile he was stuck sitting on the floor, blindly struggling to work his foot out of the hole in his ripped jeans, which he'd accidentally stepped through while trying to get dressed, without tearing the fabric further. Eventually he managed to successfully pull his heel free and force his foot down the correct path. He used his desk as leverage to get back onto his feet, attempting to simultaneously shimmy his skinny jeans up into place and tuck his quarter sleeved shirt into the waistband. Having at least mostly finished getting dressed he ventured over towards his bed in search of the now silent phone. After a moment of patting down the sheets he found it resting against his pillows. Virgil clicked on his phone and slid his finger across the screen in the familiar motion to unlock the phone.
"Call contact Logan," Virgil ordered.
The phone began to ring as he pressed it up to his ear, shuffling down the length of the room towards his desk. He sat down in the chair to begin the process of putting on his socks in an attempt to multitask.
"Greetings Virgil. I was worried you may have already switched off your phone before departing to your class. It seems that concern of mine was unnecessary after all," the familiar formal voice stated from the other end of the line.
"Yeah, you caught us just in time. Sorry I missed your first call, I had a wee bit of a wardrobe malfunction I had to deal with first," Virgil chuckled wryly.
"Wardrobe malfunction? Your clothing lacks technological or mechanical components, it should not be able to experience a malfunction," Logan argued.
"Heh, well ask Princey about that one, 'cus I'm sure he'll agree with me that it sure as hell can," Virgil smirked.
"Things said by Roman aren't always to be taken as fact" Logan countered. "I have an entire notebook filled with idiotic quotes that he has stated towards me with full confidence. I can give you some examples if you wish I have it right beside me."
"Logan focus," Virgil cut in, snapping his fingers near the microphone. "As much as I'm all for making fun of Princey, I am gonna need to be leaving in a few minutes. Why did you call? Something going on?"
"Ah, my apologies, it would seem I momentarily lost sight of my intentions. I intended to ask if I might pick you up after your class so you might accompany me to a musical performance by our school orchestra?" Logan requested.
"Me? Wouldn't your first choice for company be Ro?" Virgil questioned, vaguely stunned by Logan's request.
"Roman's interests lie more towards the vocal and theatrical end of the performance art spectrum," Logan stated with an almost wistful fondness in his tone before he seemed to pause hesitantly, quietly clearing his throat with an uncharacteristic nervousness. "That and it wouldn't necessarily be a lie to say that I was looking for an excuse to spend some solitary time with you. I find you to be a fairly calming and grounded individual when your anxiety isn't in a particularly heightened state. I find it rather refreshing and I genuinely enjoy your company, you provide a pleasant balance to our group that is greatly appreciated by myself at least."
Virgil's face began to feel flush with the growing embarrassment.
"Heh, you think way too highly of my anxious ass but, uh, thanks I guess. And yeah, I'd love to go with you," Virgil replied, trying not to let his tightened throat be heard.
"Spectacular! I will meet you outside of your classroom when the session has concluded. You best be heading out now, I'll let you go now. I look forward to seeing you in a few hours," Logan said.
"Heh, don't you need to ask me for the time and location first?" Virgil replied teasingly, enjoying the rare excitement Logan was expressing.
"Wittman Hall, two o'clock to four thirty, correct?" Logan rambled off without pause.
Virgil was once again rendered stunned by the accurate information Logan had been able to provide without much thought.
"H-how did you know all of that?" Virgil gawked once he'd found his voice.
"Hm? A few weeks ago you told me when I questioned if you'd be alright getting to class, remember?" Logan replied.
"I guess? But it was just a useless little fact said as a passing comment, I didn't exactly expect you to remember!" Virgil exclaimed.
"Nothing about you can be deemed a 'useless fact' so I endeavor to remember everything you share with me," Logan explained.
"Damn, you are more extra than Princey," Virgil mumbled.
"Pardon?"
"Nothing, nothing. I'll see you after class, I really do need to get going," Virgil rambled. "Oh, and, um, thanks Lo."
"No need to thank me, Virgil. I owe you my gratitude for accepting my request. I will see you in a few hours. Fair well and enjoy your class," Logan said.
"Heh, doubtful. See you later," Virgil chuckled before hanging up on his friend.
"Scored another date?" Remy asked, popping out of the bathroom now that the conversation was over.
"It's not a date!" Virgil argued.
"Mhm, keep telling yourself that," Remy chirped with a large grin as he loaded Virgil up with his backpack and Ember's leash so he could usher them out the door without much further argument.
"You're a ridiculous individual."
"I've never denied that, Babe."
Virgil snorted softly as he followed the man off towards his Language and Linguistics lecture. The building wasn't far from the dorms he was staying at so, despite their delayed departure, they still arrived on time and took their seats, second row from the back at the edge of the inner aisle. Virgil released Ember's leash as he sat down, letting her go under the desk to rest by his feet so that she wouldn't be in the way. He took out his computer and started it up, his fingers running along the braille keys. Just a few more hours. In a few hours he was going to be going out with Logan.
Virgil quietly hummed with disinterest as his professor began speaking, clicking the familiar key shortcut to start an audio recording of the lecture. He was just discussing homework, nothing worth noting so he let his mind wander off into imagination. His solo outing with Roman was absolutely amazing and their relationship wasn't nearly as compatible as it had instantly been with Logan. Logan instantly knew how to talk to him, how to make him comfortable. Roman set the bar rather high, to which he couldn't help but get excited at the prospect of what a day with Logan may bring him. He couldn't help but let out a happy little sigh at the thought.
"You swoon, you sigh. Why deny it? Uh-oh," Remy quietly sang out teasingly.
⁶Virgil's ears burnt at his friend's actions as he rushed to quickly type a simple "shut up" on his computer.
"Such dreamy sighs and yet you still say it's not a date. I only speak the truth," Remy grinned.
"Mr. Cyce! If you are feeling chatty today, why don't you supply the class with the answer to question seven on the homework last night?" The professor called out.
Remy yelped in surprise at the mention of his name, Virgil could feel him stiffening in the seat beside him.
"Ah! Of course Sir," Remy quickly replied, tapping on his own computer in an attempt to find the aforementioned homework problem.
Virgil gave a soft snort and attempted to give him a small sympathetic smile. He may have slightly deserved it for teasing him and it was far from the first time a teacher had scolded him for talking during class, however he was one of Virgil's best friends. Still, better Remy than him, he supposed.
Once Remy had composed himself and managed to answer the teacher a light elbow struck against Virgil's arm in retaliation. He rolled his eyes and typed out a new message on his computer; "technically that was your own fault".
"Hmph, how rude." Remy pouted in the quietest whisper he could manage, lightly tapping against Virgil again to insure he knew it was only a tease.
Virgil once again let out a snort and tried to focus on class, not to much success might he add. With the promise of what would come after the class the teacher's ramblings seemed to draw on longer than normal, the ticking of the clock on the wall that much more deafening. He gnawed on his thumbnail as he tapped his heel in anxious impatiens. It felt as though the class should have been over already, perhaps they were running overtime. He hoped he wasn't making Logan wait too long.
"Alright, the final article of this semester will be uploaded here in a moment. Make sure to complete the reading and post on the message board like every Thursday. We'll be beginning review for the midterm on Tuesday, I will see you all then. Have a good weekend and try not to get into too much trouble," the professor said, dismissing the class.
Virgil pressed the shortcut to close his recording device and another to save his notes document. Moved as quickly as he could to shut down his computer and shove it into his backpack in a rush to leave the class.
"Woah, slow down Virge, I think the boy can wait a few more seconds," Remy tried to reason but Virgil ignored him for the most part.
He signaled Ember to get up and lead him out of the classroom. The first thing he registered, stepping out into the decently chaotic hall, was the scent of something strangely floral. It wasn't the type of floral that reeked of fake chemicals like the perfume, but instead a fresher more natural kind.
"Greetings Virgil. How was your class? Pleasant, I hope," Logan's voice called over, his footsteps drawing closer.
"Meh, felt like an eternity," Virgil shrugged, not admitting that Logan was the cause of the class being more torturous than usual.
"I see, well perhaps my gift will bring you some cheer," Logan said.
The floral scent was close and he could hear the rustling of plastic and leaves emanating from between himself and Logan.
"What?" Virgil questioned tentatively.
"I walked past a florist today after our call and I thought it might be a pleasant gift for you, to show my gratitude that you are joining me today," Logan replied, pressing a small bouquet into Virgil's hands. "It isn't much, but it's composed of Roses, Freesias, and Lilac which according to my research are some of the flowers best known for having a strong but pleasant scent. I thought they might be more appealing to you so that you might be able to appreciate their beauty through your other senses."
"I love it Logan, thank you," Virgil replied, hiding his blushing face behind the strongly scented blooms.
"Uhg, I suppose I'll offer to bring that back to our dorm as well as my plan to offer you to bring back your backpack," Remy sighed with teasing dramatics.
"Eh?" Virgil squeaked out, jumping slightly at his friend's sudden appearance.
"I mean, do you want to be stuck lugging around your stuff the entire night? I'll take it back for you," Remy chuckled.
"Really? You don't have to if you don't want to," Virgil reassured.
"Babe, I offered. That's what Bestie's are for. Consider it a bribe since I'm inviting all of my Boo's over while you're out," Remy reasoned, the playful grin clear in his tone.
"Thanks Rem," Virgil nodded, allowing Remy to take the bag from his shoulder and the bouquet from his hand.
"Alright, I'm leaving my little Virgie in your care, Logan. Take care of him and have fun," Remy hummed dismissively.
"I had every intention of doing so. There is no need to worry yourself," Logan replied.
"I'm aware. Bye, bye now," Remy chirped, turning tail and leaving without another comment.
Logan released and amused breath as the sound of Remy's footsteps grew further away, vanishing amongst the foot traffic of the other students from Virgil's class.
"You've acquired quite the interesting friendship with Remy," he mused.
"That's one way to describe it," Virgil said.
'"Well, if you are quite ready, shall we be off?" Logan asked.
Lead the way," Virgil replied, signaling Ember to stand from where she was laying at Virg's feet.
Logan started off down the hall and Virgil followed barely a stride behind. Logan had parked at an easily found meter directly in front of the building. He made his way to the car first opening the passenger side door and guiding Virgil in, giving an adamant reassurance that he knew Virgil could've done it on his own but he wanted to do it for him. He then took Ember from Virgil and guided her into the back row of seats in the car and made his way around to the driver's side. Virgil strapped himself in and swallowed down his anxiety over the multitude of possible things that could actually go wrong with his and Logan's outing.
"Is there supposed to be a storm soon?" Virgil inquired, attempting to make conversation to avoid any potentially unfavorable silence.
Logan closed the driver side door and strapped himself in.
"The sky doesn't appear to be particularly dark, however yes, I do believe that meteorologists predicted a storm occurring later this afternoon," Logan pondered thoughtfully. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, I was just wondering, you know? Haha. The air feels a bit more staticy and it smells like a front is coming in," Virgil shrugged awkwardly, fidgeting to pull the seat belt further from his neck as Logan pulled out onto the road.
"Fascinating! I wasn't aware you were able to sense things to that extent. I suppose that goes to show how much more I need to research and educate myself on," Logan stated.
"Huh? You don't need to waste your time on useless stuff like that," Virgil insisted.
"It's only right to educate oneself about topics pertaining to a loved one," Logan replied.
"I mean I guess to an extent but still. Logan, you- and the others as well- are already incredibly understanding and accepting. Sometimes I think you are better than my parents about it… But that's not the point! The point is that you don't need to go out of your way to research every little detail. Besides, everyone's experience is different anyways. Like what makes us comfortable, how we cope with everyday, how we experience life in general, they aren't all going to apply and correlate. You're already good to me," Virgil reassured him.
"I'm relieved you feel that way. I care about you and only wish to make you feel understood," Logan said.
"The flowers were nice. You put a lot of thought into them. You do enough," Virgil promised.
"Thank you."
Virgil reached over to give Logan an affectionate pat of the shoulder.
"Well, it would seem we are here. We only need to park. Are you quite ready?" Logan asked, the car swinging into a parking lot.
Virgil gave a quiet nod of agreement as he felt the car turn again and then shift into park. The pair exited the car and retrieved Ember from the back.
"So where exactly is the door we are heading to?" Virgil asked, listening around for any particularly loud areas in the muddled clatter from general campus life.
"The building is just to your right. Perhaps around seventy to eighty paces to the door?" Logan presumed, taking a few steps in the aforementioned direction to lead Virgil there.
Virgil headed after Logan out of the parking lot and up onto the sidewalk.
"Oh my god! Your dog is so cute! Can I pet him?"
The sound of an excited loud and close female voice made Virgil jump and tense slightly, giving a gentle tug on Ember's leash harness as a silent command for her to come back to press more closely against his leg. The unfamiliar presence was very close and he could hear the knees creaking as they were attempting to kneel down to Ember's level. Another close figure shifted into the narrow space between them, resulting in Virgil being nearly pressed up against the back of Logan's tall but thin frame.
"Please restrain yourself. She is a seeing eye dog that is actively on duty. Do not attempt to hinder or distract her from her duties," Logan cautioned, taking the initiative to stop the uncomfortable situation that Virgil wasn't amply ready to handle due to his habit of being non confrontational.
"Whoa chill, she's still just a dog, I don't think giving the poor thing one ounce of attention will keep her from walking," the girl pouted, although Virgil could hear her backing off slightly.
"Trust me she receives plenty of attention when she is home and not actively on duty aiding her owner. However, when a service animal of any kind is wearing their vest you are not to touch or speak to them. Their job is to be taken seriously," Logan said, a slightly threatening tone creeping into his voice.
"Whatever," the girl mumbled, almost seeming nervous that Logan was calling her out.
She drew away, her footsteps falling heavily as they retreated from the situation. Virgil let out a sign of relief, leaning forward so that his forehead was resting between Logan's shoulder blades. The faded scent of clothing starch and cologne that lingered in Logan's shirt was comforting as he took deep breaths to calm himself.
"Thanks Lo," Virgil mumbled softly.
"I'm sorry that happened. That encounter seems to have made you rather anxious. Are you going to be alright? I can take you home if you no longer feel comfortable being out in public. I don't want you to be uncomfortable because of a whim I happened to have had," Logan said, speaking softly and not moving from his spot in order to allow Virgil to continue to rest against his back.
"I'll be okay… Promise. Sorry you had to do that."
"Virgil, don't ever apologize. I'll always be here for you, to protect you and keep you safe, as long as you'll allow me to, that is," Logan promised.
Virgil took another breath. Ember whined and pressed her nose against his palm comfortingly. He released his breath and smiled softly, giving her a fond scratch behind the ear before regaining a proper hold on her harness and shifting away from Logan.
"Lead the way," Virgil said, steadying his voice against the remaining adrenaline in his system.
Logan took Virgil's free hand and slowly began to lead him into the nearby building. Pushing through a series of doors Logan led him to a lively room where the floor slanted down below his feet. Logan led him to some free seats along the aisle.
"The one good thing about having a service dog, even if they sometimes bring negative attention. No one argues with you over getting the aisle seat," Virgil joked half heartedly as he took his seat.
"Do you prefer the aisle?" Logan asked.
"Yeah, it helps since sometimes I get claustrophobic," Virgil chuckled nervously.
"I was unaware you were claustrophobic," Logan mused thoughtfully.
"Well, I mean, I think I am. My anxiety just kinda gets triggered when I feel like I can't readily escape from an area and stuff," Virgil explained, scratching at the back of his head.
"Oh. Do you mean Cleithrophobia?" Logan asked seemingly understanding something Virgil didn't.
"Cleithrophobia?" Virgil questioned raising a brow.
"Ah well, Claustrophobia is the fear of a specific type of location, the ones that are small in size. Meanwhile Cleithrophobia, which might I add is commonly mistaken for the former, is the fear of a situation, specifically it is the fear of being trapped. So whereas Claustrophobia may be triggered by walking into a small bathroom, Cleithrophobia wouldn't be triggered unless there was a significant anxiety that the door would not open again," Logan explained.
"Oh…" Virgil paused. "That would explain a lot."
"Mhm. I don't blame you for not knowing. People often just summarize different phobias under one generalized name which does tend to lead to many misconceptions. Similarly the same has been done to Agoraphobia, which is the fear of public dwellings which leads them to feel anxiety upon just simply leaving the safety of their home. However, the fear of crowds of people themselves, is actually known as Demophobia. Agoraphobia is a fear of a generalized potential whereas Demophobia is a fear of a specific circumstance. Although both phobias and the many more similar variants of them tend to be overlooked and simply just called social anxiety by nonprofessionals," Logan said.
Virgil couldn't help but smile at how radiant Logan's aura became as he discussed the topic and taught Virgil something new. He seemed very in his element that way.
"You sure know a lot about Phobias," Virgil said.
"Ah… My apologies, I've begun over explaining. I'm sure you did not accompany me today to listen to me go off on a tangent. I'm sorry I'm not quite the conversationalist that Roman is, or even Patton," Logan apologized with a drained sigh, so different from the shine he'd had just a moment before.
"I didn't come here with Roman," Virgil began, resting a hand on top of Logan's upturned palm. "For the record I like your tangents. Your voice grows very warm when you're sharing the facts you know. It's how I know you're happy."
Logan's fingers shifted and laced into Virgil. The latter's face flushed. It wasn't the same as his hand being held to lead him or so they wouldn't be separated in a crowd. Logan genuinely was holding his hand with seemingly no ulterior motives other than he wanted to do it. Virgil swallowed a bit nervously before tightening his own fingers into the hold. Instead of any adverse reaction he felt Logan press further against his side. Virgil leaned closer as well and rested against Logan while picking at the fingernails of the hand that was interlaced with Logan's. Logan continued the conversation sharing more of his random acquired knowledge with Virgil who quietly nodded and listened. It was peaceful, he didn't feel like his socal meter was getting drained being around Logan, he could just sit there forever in Logan's comforting presence listening to him talk about whatever interested him.
"Ah, the musicians are finally here," Logan said, abruptly cutting himself off.
Virgil cut himself out of how hyper focused he'd been on Logan's voice and could hear people crossing the stage and the sound of heavy instruments tapping against the ground. A director tapped their baton against a music stand and instruments one by one rang out to test how in tune they were against one another. Virgil was taken aback by the size of the orchestra. Not only could he pick out multiple string instruments but a rather strong brass, woodwind and percussion section. The difference between college level and highschool level he supposed.
"The sound of instruments tuning definitely gives me Little Mermaid flashbacks," Virgil whispered jokingly.
"Are you fond of Disney?" Logan asked in turn.
"Yeah, you could say that."
"Then I'll see to making sure you are present next time Roman chooses to comedere Patton and my's room for a Disney marathon," Logan said.
"Definitely."
Logan and Virgil both fell quiet as the actual music began. Virgil closed his eyes and relaxed, letting himself imagine what story the music was trying to tell. From a festive parade, to an action packed fight, to a mournful defeat, the character he'd created in his mind danced through the story's progression coming up with new reasons for each tone change and crescendo. When the music came to an end his story was left sitting at an unfinished climax waiting for him to write the rest but the sound failed to return. Instead the director instead spoke out to the audience as they had been doing between songs and this time announced the end of their performance and gave the students their final bows.
"Orcustramental music is very auditorily pleasing. Thank you again for coming with me," Logan thanked him again as they stood.
"Thank you for thinking of me and inviting me," Virgil replied.
The pair headed towards the front door where Virgil slowly became able to hear the heavy rushing sound of water and the percussive booming of thunder. As they pushed out towards the final door Logan paused.
"It seems both you and the meteorologists were correct. That storm has arrived, a bit earlier than predicted even," Logan stated shifting closer to the door before pausing again.
A hand rested on the top of Virgil's head for just a moment.
"Wait here for me. I'll bring the car around," Logan said.
"Wait, you don't have to- Logan!" Virgil tried to call after him but he'd already made his way out the doors leaving Virgil alone in the lobby of the concert hall.
He hummed absently to himself wondering if there was a bench around that he could wait on but instead chose to continue standing between the two sets of double doors so Logan could find him easily when he returned.
Virgil tapped his foot in nervous impatience as he waited for Logan, shooing away the intrusive thoughts that attempted to cloud his mind. The possibility Logan had hurt himself out in the rain, that a car hadn't seen him or been able to stop, that Logan had gone to get the car as only an excuse to leave Virgil behind because he was bothered by how clingy he'd been. He hated being alone.
The door beside him opened from the outside causing him to jump but he calmed down quickly as the entity spoke.
"Come along Virgil, I've pulled up along the curb," Logan said.
Virgil followed him out the doors and heard the sound of water plinking and sliding down nylon fabric but none hitting him. That must have been what took Logan a bit longer than expected, he'd taken the time to locate an umbrella in his car to prevent Virgil from having to get wet, despite the fact Logan himself had gotten soaked in the downpour. They headed towards the nearby sound of hazards blinking that Logan had flipped on when he ran inside to retrieve Virgil. Like before Logan helped Virgil up into the car before putting Ember in the back seat and finally closed the umbrella, put it in the back as well so he could round the car and get in his own seat.
"You really didn't have to do all that," Virgil frowned.
"I'm aware, but I wouldn't be much of a gentleman to allow someone in my company to get needlessly soaked in the rain when I could very simply avoid the situation," Logan countered.
"Heh, you really do take pages from Princey's book don't you," Virgil teased.
"Or perhaps he takes them from mine?" Logan smirked.
"Wait, really?"
"Perhaps, perhaps not," Logan replied, clearly finding enjoyment in making Virgil question the dynamics of the group.
The car ride back to the dorm wasn't a long one, although Virgil sincerely wished it was longer. He truly was enjoying his time with Logan.
"It's still raining quite heavily. Perhaps you'd like to wait it out here in the car? When I checked the weather app while retrieving the car earlier it said we were under just a small band of the storm that should only last approximately ten to twenty minutes more, that it would lighten before a bigger section rolled in," Logan pressed.
"Yeah, spending a bit more time with you would be nice," Virgil admitted.
Just like at the concert Virgil and Logan fell into a conversation about everything and nothing with Logan mostly leading the conversation and Virgil just listening intently to every word. The rain hammering against the metal frame of the car was turning to a soft drizzle but Virgil didn't want to leave and he got the feeling Logan didn't want him to either.
"I'm curious, Virgil."
"Hm?"
"You said you play guitar, correct?"
"Ah, um, yeah, I do. Well a little bit. It's just a hobby, heh… Why?"
"You questioned earlier why I invited you instead of Roman, yet, you and I are both aware of your fondness for instrumental talent. I find it a bit puzzling."
"Not really puzzling. He's your soulmate. As much as I like everyone's friendship and inclusion, I'll always take second place to your soulmate. Which is fine! Totally natural, everyone is that way. I'm not jealous or trying to seek attention or anything. I adore you guys! A-and Remy and the gang too. I just mean-"
"-Virgil."
Virgil paused as a hand tenderly rested on his thigh.
"Know I say this with full honesty; I am just as fond of spending time with you as I am with Roman and Patton."
"You don't have to try to say things like that, I told you I didn't mean it in a jealous way. All I meant was soulmates have a deep bond and all."
"Virgil, I meant what I said. I am not attempting to metaphorically bend or fabricate the truth. I have deeper sentiments towards you than I dare to speak aloud."
Virgil's own voice fell silent within his tightening throat, struggling to grasp for the true meaning behind what Logan was trying to convey. It sounded an awful lot like a confession, but it was impossible, there was no way he felt that way.
He sniffed and rubbed away a tear that had managed to make its way down his cheek.
"I… hold deep sentiments for you as well."
The hand moved from his lap to cup his cheek, guiding him closer towards Logan. The feeling of gentle warm lips pressed softly against the skin of his forehead, lingering a few moments longer than what felt simply platonic.
"L-Logam I…" Virgil's voice broke with emotion, not knowing how to comprehend the situation.
"My apologies if I've overstepped my boundaries and made you uncomfortable. My intention was only to rectify any incorrect beliefs you held towards how I view your value in my life," Logan apologized, shifting back further away into the driver's seat.
Virgil sniffed again, wiping at his cheek, the bubbling emotions too intensely painful to comprehend in a single moment.
"I apologize, Virgil. I've kept you too long. The storm has let up and I should let you head on into your dorm now to rest. I'll message you when I arrive safely back at my own dorm," Logan conceded, an almost hidden sad sighing breaths accenting his words.
Virgil swallowed the thick lump in his throat and gave a nod. He didn't move immediately, hesitating as he tried to find the right words to say. Instead he reached a hand forwards, doing his best to gracefully find Logan's face so he could mirror Logan's previous actions, leaving his own very brief, chaste kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks Lo. I- um- hope we can spend more time like this again," Virgil stammered before making a less than graceful exit from the car, fumbling with both the seatbelt and the handle.
He shuffled back towards the back door of the car, opening it to let Ember out, keeping his head low in hopes to prevent Logan from staring at him as he made his hasty escape.
The soft patter of rain plinked against his shoulder and the back of his head as he ducked down and allowed Ember to lead the way to the familiar location he was temporarily calling home. His mind was absolutely reeling too much to focus on what he was doing, allowing himself to just act on the habitual pattern. Logan liked him, he genuinely seemed to want to be with Virgil romantically. He was so happy but also absolutely terrified. Logan's soulmates would have to agree with that and he didn't just want to be with one of them and excluded from the relationship, he wanted to be with all of them. He didn't know if there was any hope of that reality. His solo outings with both Patton and Roman had been wonderful. They seemed to enjoy his company. Perhaps they already felt the same way as Logan seemed to. After all Patton had given him that goodbye kiss that he also had questioned if it was completely platonic. Although he could be projecting his own agenda onto all of them and it wasn't actually the true circumstance. He hoped it was.
"Uhg the rain's getting heavy again. I really hope he's okay. Shouldn't he have been back by now?"
Virgil stopped in his tracks as he heard Remy's voice through the thin walls. He'd been so distracted he hadn't realized he was already at the door.
"It's fine, Logan will take care of him. They've gotten very close and I'm sure Logan is getting just as protective over him as you are," Emile chuckled in a comforting manner.
"Doesn't mean I have to like it. The whole situation is stressing me the hell out," Remy groaned exasperatedly.
"I'm rather surprised that said 'situation' hasn't had more repercussions yet," Janus mused.
"Oh, it has!" Remus chirped.
"What do you mean by that, 'mus?" Emile asked worriedly.
"Guess I haven't told anyone but Remy that it linked yet. Took me a while to figure it out too. Uhm, let's see, remember that whole fudy dudy shit show that was mine and my brother's life back in Junior year of highschool?" Remy asked. "Well yeah, as I told you then mom and dad were trying stuff again and it didn't work out, again, surprise surprise. Anywhosal, like Roman, was taking it much worse than me and was being like super protective of his soulmates. Which is why they broke up that year."
"They broke up?" Janus cut in surprisedly.
"Mhm. They broke up because Patton fell in love with a fellow classmate that he couldn't imagine living without. He begged Roman to accept him into the relationship but Roman hated it. He swore he'd never allow anyone to come between them, no non-soulmates were allowed in their relationship. Patton was so furious with Roman judging someone he didn't even know that he broke up with Roman and Logan went quiet because he didn't want to get between those two's bickering. Roman said he wouldn't budge on it and Patton said he was leaving him after he learned the guy he liked was also gay, but I guess things fell threw and eventually Roman and Patton made up again. Took me a while to realize that guy Roman hated so much back then was Virgil. Which is probably why Virgil kinda ruffled his feathers the first time they met," Remus explained nonchalantly.
Virgil had to keep his mouth covered to prevent himself from making any noise as he stood outside the door, absolutely horrified by what Remus was saying. He came so close to ruining their relationship in the past. If he hadn't made the decision to walk away because he was ashamed of his feelings, he could have caused so much more grief. He was doing it again. He was confusing them. He was confusing Patton and Logan. He was hurting Roman. He cared deeply for the dramatic theater prince. If he got with the others Roman would have to bend his morals on soulmates. He didn't want Roman to have to bend and do something he wasn't comfortable with. He couldn't do that to him. He was just hurting them. That was the secret Remy was worried about. He knew Roman's past beliefs and was worried about encouraging a future with them.
He didn't bother listening to any of the rest of the conversation. He just started fiddling with the knob as loudly as he could to announce his presence. They went quiet and Virgil pushed open the door faking his best smile.
"Hey guys! I'm back, have a good night?" He asked innocently.
"Yeah, more importantly how was yours?" Remy asked, his voice slightly pinched.
"Ah," Virgil paused, barely resisting the urge to weep as he smelled the scent of the floral bouquet Logan had gotten for him earlier. "It was fine, I guess. Nothing really eventful."
"Virgil, stop lying," Janus called him out.
Of course Janus could tell. He'd known Virgil as a kid and he'd always had a knack for knowing when anyone lied. Virgil gave a wry smile as he walked inside and let go of Ember's leash.
"I just want to take a shower," Virgil mumbled .
"V, are you okay?" Remy asked.
"I will be," Virgil sighed as closed the door to the bathroom behind him.
A/N: By the way, I have a quick question that intend to ask on my other story as well when I eventually finish the next update there as well (which hopefully won't be too long as it isn't intended to be a long chapter but my luck is not on the fortunate side when it comes to my creative energy being in the right place at the right time). While writing this chapter I suddenly got hit by the muse for a completely different story based off some pictures I saw. I immediately wrote down everything I thought of because it's been a while since I've had such a concrete idea of what I wanted to do rather than just a scene or two that I can kind of get a general sense of what the plot would be like. I really want to write it, although I'm not certain now would be the best time as you already had to wait so long for this chapter and this is only two stories being worked on at the moment. The point of the matter is I was wondering if anyone would read it. It's not Sanders Sides and Sanders Sides is basically all I've ever done. However this story is based off of Dream SMP (well and kinda Origins SMP) it's just a mashup of cannon, fannon, and things I think sound cool thrown into one hot pot of morally grey nonsense. Basically it'd be dealing with the relations between SBI, Disk Duo, and the Bench Trio, with the point of view being Bench Trio centric. I can give more information on it if people are interested and stuff but I don't know I've just been seeing a bunch of Passerine AU and Butterfly Reign (? I think, for some reason looking at that title it looks wrong to me suddenly) AU and then I saw the photos that gave me all those ideas and I just kinda want to do it. But I also very quickly loose motivation if people don't like the things I'm working on and since no one else in my personal life is into that fandom I just wanted to see if anyone here would be interested in seeing me take a crack at that fandom.