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Chapter 4: Getting More and More Impatient! When Will the Race Begin?

That evening, the Smashers are dining at Le Grandiose International Restaurant, a 5-star restaurant with all-you-can-eat buffet. They are celebrating over the victory of two of their comrades.

Kirby and Yoshi are eating noisily and happily. To them, this is one heavenly paradise. The waiters and chefs are amazed on how these two can eat! "Mind your manners," Peach reminds them two. "This is a public and high-class restaurant, so you shouldn't act like a pig."

Falco raises his cup into the air and says out loud, "Everyone! Listen to me! I won the first race of the F-30 Grand Prix! I am the best! See if anyone dares disapprove me!"

"Sorry, but I am the best!" Captain Falcon says to him.

"O RLY?"

"Of course I am! I have been a racer since I was 5!"

"But you didn't win the race!"

"It's because of some meddling annoyers!"

"What do I have to with this?" asks Ness. "I lost!"

"Try and beat me next time!" Falco says to CF. "Then I'll acknowledge you!"

"I will win next time! First place isn't escaping me in the second race and so on!"

"So when's the next race starting?" asks Bowser.

"Unsure yet. It happens randomly, but usually after every 3 or 4 days," Samus tells him. "And also the race will be broadcasted on TV."

"Well, it will surely be interesting to watch," says Link. "I want to see the skills of all the racers so I know what to do when my turn is on."

"I wonder how many races are there?" asks Popo.

"There's quite a lot," says CF. "After the preliminaries, there are still the finals. This race will keep on going until there are three racers left standing, and they are the ultimate winners of the whole F-30 Grand Prix."

"Will we get to meet Carma himself?" asks Nana.

"From what I've learned, the priests will consult with Carma and our wishes will be granted. That's all I know."

"Wow… It's sounds so interesting… But I rather stay alive than to risk my life trying to win the race. Did Carlos not say that losers might sometimes die in the race?"

"Now I regretted joining this race in the first place…" groans Luigi. "Is there anyway to get out of it?"

"Since you are a team with Mario, then both of you are automatically out if you quit," says Carlos.

"YAH! When did you get here!" says Zelda, shocked by his sudden appearance.

"You mean if I choose to quit, then Mario must quit also?" asks Luigi.

"Yes, since you signed in as a team together. Both people must be in healthy condition, and if one does not show up, then the team is automatically lost," answers Carlos.

"Doh… Looks like my life is shorter than I expected…"

"Why do you underestimate yourself? Trust in your older brother; he is a reliable driver."

"Yes, Luigi!" Mario tells his younger brother. "I will protect-a you!"

"Thanks, Mario…"

Yoshi and Kirby come back to the table with a plate full of foods. "This is such a wonderful place!" says Kirby.

"I can eat forever!" says Yoshi.

"How many fillings have you eaten?" Marth asks them.

"I think this is the 30th. I'm not too sure though; I haven't been keeping count of it."

-

That night, CF plops onto his bed roughly. He is still trying to get over the fact that he did not get the top three places. "I must win the next race," he says to himself. "No matter what, I must not lose! My childhood dream must not be spoiled here!"

Kirby and Yoshi are having a pleasant sleep because they ate so much and are fully satisfied. Even at night, they dream about food!

-

The next day…

Ganondorf checks his racer's certificate. "Hmmm… Nothing…"

-

The day after that…

Ganondorf checks his certificate again. "Still nothing…"

-

And the day after that again…

Ganondorf once again checks his certificate. "Nothing…"

"Hey everyone! There's a race on the TV!" shouts the voice of CF. Ganondorf quickly rushes to the living room to see it.

Sure enough, the TV is broadcasting a F-30 race that is been held in a place called Green Hills. "Hey look who's there!" says G&W. "That's Sonic the Hedgehog! And he's teamed with Tails on his super biplane, the Tornado!"

Mario notices another familiar person among the racers and says, "And eezn't that-a Dr. Eggman? That-a villain who was once working for da Darkling King?"

"So it's him!" says Roy. "How can an evil person join this race?"

"Just shut up and watch!" says CF.

When the race begins, Sonic & Tails are the first to zoom off, followed by Eggman, whose car is his Egg Mobile equipped with wheels. When Eggman has gone a few yards from the starting line, the back of his car opens and releases several eggs. When the other racers step on them, the eggs explode and blast them all away. "That foul old man!" says Roy. "He dares do such a vile thing of destroying other racers!"

"But that's something legal to do," Bowser reminds him.

"Still, I cannot accept the fact of killing off others!"

For the next several minutes, the Smashers glue their eyes to the TV screen as they watch Sonic & Tails fighting against Eggman to the finish line. They perform several cool driving tricks and went through all the course obstacles easily, such as loops, spike pits, and thin strips of land.

Then the telephone rings and G&W answers it, and after hearing what was said, he hands it to Bowser, who shouts into it, "THIS IS NOT PIZZA PALACE!" And G&W hangs the phone for him.

Eventually, and no surprise, Sonic and Tails are the first place winners of the race! Eggman's car was damaged by Sonic when he jumped to Eggman's car and hit it in the engine hard, causing the car to go slower.

"Wow! Sonic and Tails won so easily!" exclaims Popo.

"He sure is fast! I wonder if I can beat him," wonders Kirby.

"That is the kind of opponent I'm looking for," says CF. "Surely he'll be a worthy opponent. I look forward to racing him."

"I wouldn't want to race with the egg guy," says Luigi. "I don't want to be blown into pieces… He pretty much destroyed every other racers!"

"Bah! I'm not scared of him!" says Falco bravely. "I will be the one blasting him into pieces!"

DING DONG

"There's someone at the door," says Peach. "Please go get it, for I have business in the kitchen at the moment."

CF is nearest to the door, so he goes to open it and sees Bon Clay behind it. "Just the man I want to see!" says Bon Clay happily when he sees CF.

"What do you want, 2?" asks CF with an uninterested look.

"Are you still sad that you did not win first place?"

"I got over it already. I truly believe I can win the next race."

"That's the spirit I like about my man! Here, accept my beautiful souvenir that I made with my own delicate hands!" Bon Clay hands him a well-decorated gift box. "Look at the time! I have to go for ballet class, for my beloved students are waiting for me to teach them the beauty of ballet! May the spring wind bring us together again! Farewell!" With this, Bon Clay dances happily into his swan-shaped car and drives off.

CF opens the gift and inside is a pink towel with the portrait of Bon Clay and several swans imprinted on it, and on the bottom of the towel is the message Okama Way and then a lip mark. "This will make a great bathroom mat for wiping your feet," he thought.

-

The next day…

Ganondorf paces back and forth across his room, stopping to look at his certificate once in a while. "Still no signal of a race…"

-

The second day…

Another race is broadcasted on TV…

"Wow! This race is so intense!" says Parry.

"This makes me want to participate in it even more!" says Bowser. "When can I get to race?"

-

The third day…

"That does it! I'm going to go nuts if I do not get to race!" yells Ganondorf loudly.

"Me too!" says Bowser.

"Instead of whining, maybe you should practice your driving skills?" CF tells them. "You too aren't the best drivers around."

"You better not underestimate me!" Bowser says to him.

-

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"YES! AT LAST!" shouts Ganondorf at the top of his voice. "MY CARD IS RINGING!"

"MINES TOO!" shouts Bowser.

"Looks like I'm in too," says G&W.

"Mines too," adds Link.

"This is my second race!" says Ness. "I must not lose this time, or else I'm disqualified!"

"Let's see… The course name is Dusty Dunes Desert," says Link.

"Why that place? You can get sunstroke easily there!"

"Who cares? I'm off to prepare my Black Stallion! Tomorrow is my big day!" says Ganondorf as he walks to the garage.

-

At the garage, Ganondorf approaches a cloth-covered thing and takes the cloth off, revealing a cool-looking black motorcycle underneath. He wipes the motorcycle with a clean cloth and waxes it. "Ah! What a beautiful sight my Black Stallion is! It's in every way better looking than that big ugly green monster."

"Are you insulting my car!" says Bowser angrily. "My Green Beast can tear yours down easily!" Bowser's car is in the form of a large turtle. The front part is the turtle's head and the mouth is open, revealing some sort of a gun inside. In the center of the wheels are long sharp spikes. "See! It's really cool!"

"I don't see how that thing can go faster than my bike!"

"Well, you'll see soon! My car will destroy yours so that you cannot move!"

"You wanna fight?"

"Bring it on tomorrow! I can beat you for sure!"

-

Meanwhile…

"I've done it," Fox says to Ness. "Now it is capable of traveling at normal pace even on sand."

"Thanks a lot, Fox!" says Ness.

"I've even prepared special sandstorm goggles. It can help you find your way through the desert in case a sandstorm whips up."

"You're so nice to me! It's as if you want me to win the race!"

"But I've got extra ones for Bowser, Ganondorf, Link, and Game as well. You're not the only one, but still, try to win this time, okay? This is your last chance."

"I will!"

-

Several food stands are set up in Dusty Dunes Desert. Despite the furious heat of the sun, it did not stop people from coming to see the exciting race. Good thing that the audience seats have shading and are equipped with cool fans. Plus, there are several venders selling cold treats and sunstroke cures in case anyone needs it.

"Wow… Despite the heat, many people still come," says Peach, cooling herself with a fan.

"People are always attracted by exciting events," says Samus.

Yoshi calls to the ice-cream vender, "Sir, I want 3 of any of kind of ice-cream!" So the vender got him a cone of three random scoops. This is how hot the heat is: Even before the ice cream reaches Yoshi's mouth, it melted in his hand!

"This is too hot…" complains Luigi. "I'm gonna melt…" He looks at the Ice Climbers and wonders how on earth can they wear such thick winter clothing in a hot temperature like this without complaining.

-

Bowser opens his car engine and checks it up. "Everything is set! My car is capable of withstanding high temperature, so the sun's heat is nothing to it!"

"Is everything all right, Bowser?" asks a voice.

Bowser turns around and sees a large muscular and longhaired man. "Oh it's you, Truk!"

"This is your first race, so show all you have!" say the man named Truk. "You showed me what you're capable of when I tested you. You can surely tear down all other racers!"

"Heh! Nobody dares to mess with me, I tell you!"

"But beware of Sunaman. He is one of the more dangerous racers among here. He has great advantage in the desert."

"Ha! I have nothing to fear!"

-

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen!" Talko shouts out loudly. "Welcome to the great race that is held here in Dusty Dunes Desert! It sure is a hot day! But I'm sure this exciting race will make everyone forget about it!"

"We are about to begin! May all the racers come and prepare at the starting line?" says Talko. "Here is a quick run through of all the racers participating today!"

These are all the racers of this course:
Ganondorf: Black Stallion - a black motorcycle
Bowser: Green Beast - a turtle-shaped car
Link: King of Red Lions – a boat equipped with wheels and a engine
Game & Watch: A black, flat racing car
Ness: Bicycle equipped with boosters
Wario & Waluigi: Wario Car – the purple car that Wario drives all the time
Random Racer No. 21: a simple racing car with the number 21 on it
Sunaman: Desert Runner 2006 – the newest in series of the Desert Runner sand vehicles

New Age Retro Hippie: a racing car decorated with graffiti

Mr. Binko: a fancy-looking limousine without a top

Random Racer No. 37: a racing car numbered 37

Human Scorpion: a scorpion-shaped car

-

"It's Mr. Binko!" points out Roy. "What is he doing here?"

"All the better to win cash for our wedding!" says Ms. Lump.

"Oh Ms. Lump! You're here too! How have you been?"

"Everything's been going well! Mr. Binko and I have agreed to be married, but we do not have much cash. Therefore, he wants to win the race and wish for our happy marriage!"

"I hope he tries his best!"

-

"Now let us have a look at the course," says Talko. The giant screen turns on and displays an overhead view of the course map. "This can be a tough one, as the course is full of turns. There are several sand dunes and trying to get pass them isn't the easiest thing in the world. Watch out; there may be dust devils hanging around. Also beware of the quicksand! You do not want to sink in it. But don't worry; if you do get stuck inside, the priests will rescue you from your doom!"

Bowser calls to Ganondorf and says, "Hey! I'm not going easy on you!"

"I wasn't planning to go easy on you either! The same goes for Link, Game & Watch, and Ness!" says Ganonodrf.

"You guys are mean!" says Link.

"Sorry, but that's the point of this race. In a competition, everybody is an enemy."

"There they go again," says Zelda. "Fighting to see who can win."

"There's going to be another fight among us again," says Nana. "I fear this race is only breaking our relationships together."

"That's one of the bad points of a race," says Carlos. "It drives people to become enemies. But fear not, all will return to normal after this ends."

"You're popping out of nowhere again!" Peach tells him.

"Are you the friends of Bowser?" says Truk, who also pops out of nowhere.

"EEEKS!"

"Who are you?" DK asks him.

"I am the priest who tested and gave Bowser his racing certificate, and Carlos is a good friend of mine."

"I took a piss on Bowyer and gave him a certain crazy ape and Fritos Lay is good?"

"What did you say?"

"Leave him alone," Falco tells him. "He has serious hearing problem."

-

"So without further delay, let us begin the race!" says Talko. "When you hear my gun go off, then get ready to go!"

All the racers got on their mark and waits for the signal. Talko holds up his gun and waits for a few seconds, and then he pulls the trigger.

CLICK

"Uh? The gun is out of bullet!"

All the drivers collapse in their seats—anime style.

"But don't worry! I always have spare bullets!" Talko reloads his gun and begins the countdown again. "Are you ready? The race will begin… next chapter!"

TO BE CONTINUED…

Not sure if I said this before, but I will NOT be accepting your fanmade OC, unlike how Yoshizilla accept OC. I will have my own characters for the story, so do not go "I want to submit my own character so he or she can be in the race!"

And just so you know, I created Sunaman and Human Scorpion myself; they are not from any known series.

Preview

Bowser: Argh! What do you want with me? You're annoying!

Sunaman: The desert is an ideal place for me. I am the strongest here!

Talko: Looks a like a sandstorm is whipping up!

Ganondorf: I'm not going easy on anyone! Move on!

Wario: Hmph! Why isn't Mario in this race?

Sunaman: Fear the dangers of the desert!

Coming up next chapter: The Race Across the Desert! Sunaman the Desert Runner!