Chapter 10: A Race To Watch and Mercenaries to Battle!
"Ladies and gentlemen!" announces Talko loudly. "Welcome to the race that is being held in Peaceful Valley!"
As Talko goes on rambling about the race, the scene switches to some of the Smashers. "Who do you think will win?" Falco asks Fox.
"Not sure… I think Captain Falcon may win, but then Ganondorf seems to be thriving to get first place," replies Fox.
"Hey, where's Peachy?" asks Mario.
"She's at the hospital paying Game a visit," Fox tells him.
-
G&W is hospitalized for about a week already, and he is getting better and better everyday. "So how are you feeling now?" Peach asks him while cutting him an apple.
"You don't have to worry about me," says G&W. "It was nothing at all. The doctor is making too big of a fuss over a small injury. I can even walk around already!"
"Well, it's still important that you get some rest."
"Can you turn on the TV?"
"Why?"
"The race is starting, remember? Aren't Captain Falcon and Ganondorf in this race?"
"Oh yeah." Peach goes to open the TV and switches to the channel that is broadcasting the race.
"Great! It's just about to start!"
-
Back at the race, the racers are getting ready behind the starting line. "So are you going to fight me to get first place?" CF asks Ganondorf.
"You bet!" replies Ganondorf. "I want to show my goddamn strict tester that I can get first place!"
"Well, tough luck! I AM the one who is gonna get first place!"
"I'm gonna fight you for it!"
Meanwhile, Pokey, who is among the racers in this course, is smiling to himself. "That Ness probably is getting into trouble with the mercenaries I hired already. Hehehehe! That's the best way to get him out of the race!"
-
DING DONG DING DONG
That was the sound of the school bell, marking the end of school.
"And remember to finish your incomplete class work as today's homework," the teacher says to the students.
"Yes, Mr. Dumb," say the students.
"All right then, get out of here!"
Yes!" All the students pack their stuff and run out into the hall.
Ness quickly rushes out the hall and is soon joined by Young Link. "Quick, to the race!" says Ness. "We don't want to miss this event!"
"Yeah!" says YL. "The school should give us special excuses to go see the race!"
"In fact, Pokey got excused because he has a race to enter!"
Popo and Nana soon show up and join them. "Hey! Are you going to the race?" asks Popo.
"Of course," replies Ness.
"Then we're going too!"
"Let's go together!" says YL.
Meanwhile, 3 people are standing on top of a nearby house, looking down on the kid Smashers as they run out the school. "That's them," says one of the 3.
"Shall we get them?" asks the second person.
"Wait until they get to a place with lesser people. That way we won't cause a ruckus."
-
Inside the empty Smash Mansion…
The telephone rings…
Then the answering machine kicks in, saying, "Nobody is home at the moment. Please leave behind a message the moment you heard the signal. If you are calling to order from Caesar's Pizza Palace, then don't bother leaving behind any message, you doofus."
BEEP
-
"Now that we're done with all these explanations," says Talko, "let us begin the race!"
"All right!" says CF. "It's going to start! First place is…"
"MINES!" shouts Ganondorf, interrupting him.
"Hey! It should be me!"
"Falcon is the first! Falcon is the first! Falcon is the first!" sing Bon Clay and his men from the side. They are all wearing pink dresses with the picture of Captain Falcon imprinted on it.
CF looks at them strangely and says, "Okay, for once, I'm glad that you're rooting for me, but you could've at least used a different colored dress other than pink!"
"But pink is my favorite color!" says Bon Clay.
"Right! I'm a boy and I don't complain about being pink!" says Kirby.
"That's not the point!" yells CF.
"All right, let's be quiet and get ready for the signal," says Talko. He holds up a gun and begins the countdown while the racers start their engines. "Three, two, one… GO!"
BANG!
-
Ness, YL, Popo, and Nana are confronted by three people in an empty square. Okay, not quite empty if you want to count those dogs and cats walking around, not to mention the tiny insects that are nearly invisible to the eye. But then, you really wouldn't consider them to be 'somebody', would you? Oh, and the place is empty because almost everyone in Onett went to Peaceful Valley to see the race, and even if there are still someone in Onett, they're probably inside their houses watching the race through the TV. So anyway, back with the story…
"Punk, Pix, Pork…" says YL, staring at the 3 people in front of them.
"Yes, it is us," says the Punk the Space Pirate.
"It's been a while," says Pix.
"Hi," says Pork simply.
"So that letter is true…" says Ness. "You guys did escape from the Forbidden Realm."
"There's no reason to stay in a dark and gloomy place like that," says Pix. "And neither do you guys want to."
"What do you want from us?" asks Nana.
"Well, you see… There was this fat kid who…" explains Pork, but he is interrupted by Punk.
"Let's just say we are doing our job for someone," says Punk.
"Who do you work for?" asks YL.
"We work for whoever hires us."
"To put it in easier term, we are now working as mercenaries," explains Pix. "You give us money, we work for you. But we only do stuffs like killing, stealing, spying, etc."
"So… what are you doing here?" asks Ness.
"We are assigned to kill you," says Punk straightly.
"WHAT!" gasps Nana as she hides behind Popo, who then hides behind Young Link.
"You're serious, aren't you?" asks YL.
"Yes, we are serious," replies Punk sternly. "If we are given a job, then we will do it."
"Please don't… We never did anything that deserves death…" says Nana.
Suddenly, Punk disappears and pops out behind Nana all of a sudden!
"Eeks!"
"Don't forget how you killed our boss," says Punk, placing his wide-open pincers near her head.
"No…"
YL quickly rushes at Punk and knocks him away using his sword. "Don't touch her!" he says, and then he tells the Ice Climbers to run.
Popo and Nana quickly run away, but Pork appears in front of them. "You're not going anywhere!" he says.
"Hey! Leave them alone!" says Ness as he runs to their rescue, but he is stopped by Pix.
"You'll be dealing with me!" says Pix.
-
Captain Falcon is driving along smoothly. He caught up with a racer that is ahead of him, and he rams his car against the racer's car and knocks him off the course. Another racer catches up with him from behind, but CF immediately knocks him away with a side ramming attack. He comes to a curved slope that leads all the way down to the bottom of a cliff, and he slows down a bit to avoid sliding down too fast and falling off the side.
Ganondorf, too, reaches this curved slope and drives down slowly, but at the same time he wants to catch up with CF.
Now there is a wild and tough racer named Rad, and he drives a monster truck. You know, those kinds of pickup trucks with really large and tall wheels and are capable of running through many types of terrain, not to mention crushing anything under it. Being a cocky racer that he is, Rad bravely drives off the edge instead of taking the slope to the bottom, because he believes his monster truck can survive this 'small' fall.
Ganondorf has reached the bottom, and the bad news is that the truck is falling down from directly above him! Of course, Ganondorf saw it coming because of the shadow looming over him. He looks up and gasps a bit, but then he opens his palm wide and charges an energy ball in it.
"I'm gonna crush ya!" says Rad in a punk style voice.
Right before the truck hits Ganondorf, the Gerudo lifts up his hand and slams his energy-covered hand into the underside of the monster truck. When hit, the monster explodes into a blazing firework!
KABOOM!
Ganondorf survived the explosion, of course. He gets back onto his Black Stallion and continues to race.
-
"Out of our way!" yells Popo as he swings his hammer at Pork, and it hits Pork's head with quite a wallop. "Hit!"
But Pork just smirks and says, "That doesn't hurt!"
"Huh?"
Pork grabs the hammer and lifts it up along with Popo.
"Hey! Let me down!"
"Yeah! Let my brother down!" says Nana angrily.
"Of course I'll let him down!" Pork then hurls Popo directly onto Nana.
"Ouch!" cry the two.
"Ha! I'm not the fat and slow slob I'm used to be!" says Pork proudly.
"Take this! Ice Hammer!" Popo blows cold air onto his hammer, freezing it. The hammer is frozen, and some of the ice is shaped like spikes, thus also making it a spiked hammer. Popo swings the hammer at Pork, who lifts up his pincer to block it. Surprisingly enough, the ice on the hammer shatters into pieces when hit! "What!"
"I told you!" says Pork, and then he hits Popo away.
"No! My brother!" cries Nana. "You'll pay!" She runs towards Pork angrily while flailing her hammer around, but is easily knocked away.
"Ha! This is easy!" laughs Pork.
-
Pix and Ness stare at each other silently. "So, what are we waiting for? Let's start!" says Pix.
"Okay then!" says Ness. "PSI Paralyze!" He fires a white beam at Pix.
"Ha! You think I'm gonna just stand here and get hit by the beam so easily?" asks Pix.
"PK FLASH!" shouts Ness almost immediately after he fired the white beam. A bright green light fills the scene and blinds Pix.
"Ugh! It burns my eyes!" cries Pix, and then he is hit by the paralysis beam.
"Ha! You think I would use a simple attack just like that?" says Ness. "Who gets the last laugh anyway?" He dashes at the frozen Pix and swings his bat at him. But to his surprise, Pix disappears into thin air after getting hit! "What!" Suddenly, a powerful force hits Ness in the back and sends him face first onto the ground.
"Ha! And you thought I would come unprepared by your attack, eh?" says Pix. "What you hit just now was a shadow decoy. You see the device I'm wearing on my waist? Using our great Space Pirate technology, I have invented a device that can turn shadows into a perfect replica of an object. Thanks to the bright flash you produced, I was able to use my shadow to create a copy of myself and have him substitute for me!"
"Darn… These guys get tougher everyday…" grumbles Ness.
-
Young Link swings his sword vertically downwards at Punk, but the Space Pirate disappears just before he got it. YL quickly looks around for him, but is hit in the side with a strong force.
Punk reappears and says, "That kind of speed will not do anything against me."
"Argh… You sure move very fast…" says YL.
"Perhaps I do move too fast. Sometimes I cannot control my own speed either." After saying this, Punk disappears again.
YL quickly gets up and goes into a defensive position. "He's gotta be here somewhere… He's just moving really… AGH!" A powerful force hits YL's in the stomach, and then followed by several rapid beating all over his body. The barrage of attacks ends with knocking YL high into the sky, and he falls back onto the hard ground with a thud. "Ugh…"
Punk appears next to the fallen YL and says, "The match is over. Now to finish this…"
-
Back in the Smash Mansion, the phone rings again, and as usual, the answering machine kicks in.
"Nobody is home at the moment. Please leave behind a message the moment you heard the signal. If you are calling to order from Caesar's Pizza Palace, then don't bother leaving behind any message, you doofus."
BEEP
-
CF is currently in lead, with Ganondorf trying hard to catch up from behind. Pokey is third in place, as he has upgraded his Motor Tricycle a bit to make it run fast. Still, it's no match for the speed of those two Smashers.
"Darn… I'll never catch up with those two!" says Pokey. "But I am prepared for this!" He presses a button on the controls and a cannon emerges from the back of the tricycle. It fires a cannon shell high into the sky and slowly descends towards where the two are.
Now Ganondorf is slowly catching up with CF. "Let me through!" yells Ganondorf.
"No! You'll never get through me!" says CF, and they begin ramming each other using their vehicles.
As they fight and ram, they come all the way to a wooden bridge that is hanging above a river below. Fortunately, the bridge is very strong and sturdy, so it is able to support the weight of even two vehicles. When they are halfway across the bridge, the cannon shell Pokey fired drop on the front end of the bridge and explodes.
BANG!
"What!" gasp CF and Ganondorf.
The explosion causes the bridge to break! "Oh no! We're gonna fall!" gasps Ganondorf.
"Not today!" says CF. He steps on the gas pedal to the max and zooms off at an astounding speed, and miraculously, he made it to the other side just before the bridge totally collapse. "Yeah!"
"NOOOO!" screams Ganondorf. He quickly zooms towards the end, but he is too late; his motorcycle falls towards the bottom and he screams his head off as he plummets to the bottom and explodes.
-
-
-
-
-
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding! You thought I was gonna let Ganondorf die just like that? Okay, that part was just to surprise you, and here's the real thing.
Ganondorf managed to grab onto the edge of the cliff, and he is using his legs to grab hold of the motorcycle below him so that it doesn't fall. It's quite an amazing feat as the motorcycle is really heavy and, yet, he is able to hold it up using his feet while he grasps for his life onto the edge! "Now what am I gonna do…?" he grumbles.
Pokey reaches the bridge, but it is already destroyed. "Oh no! Now how will I cross this?" he wonders.
"The bridge has been destroyed and Ganondorf is hanging between life and death!" says Talko. "Will he make it out and how will the remaining racers get across this gap?"
The Smashers in the audience are shocked at Ganondorf's current situation. "Oh no! Ganon is in trouble!" says Bowser. "What do we do!"
"We should help him!" says Marth, and he turns to a priest that is standing at the side. "Hey, priest, you said that outsiders could also interfere with the race, right?"
"You must have a special pass first. It can be bought before the start of the race, not now," explains the priest. "With that pass, you can interfere with racers in the race or help your friends. Remember that fat and tall guy from Saturn Valley? They got a pass and is therefore able to interfere with the race."
"But we have a friend in need of help right now!"
"Don't worry, we priests will help him if he is at the brink of death."
-
Pokey wonders what to do for a moment, and then an idea hits him, "Ha! I remember! I have prepared an emergency equipment in case my vehicle can't go on any further!" He presses a button and the seat he is sitting on floats up into the sky! "Now I can just ride this flying seat all the way to the end! Hahahahaha!" And he flies across the chasm.
Ganondorf sees him flying across and growls, "Argh! I'm not gonna get stuck here!" Using all his might, he performs an amazing back flip and brings his motorcycle into the air and right back onto the land, and he himself also flipped up onto land. Ganondorf quickly gets on his motorcycle and drives off.
"Wow! Ganondorf is back and racing again!" exclaims Talko.
"You rock, Ganon!" exclaims Bowser. "You can do it!"
"Whoa… He's more capable than I thought," says Marth.
"Well, I knew he wouldn't lose that easily," says Link.
"By the way, shouldn't the children be here by now?" asks Zelda. "And where's Mewtwo?"
-
Young Link gets up with bruises all over his body. He slowly walks towards Punk to hit him. "You are in no condition of fighting," says Punk. "I told you that the match has already ended. The winner is clearly decided."
"I don't think so…" says YL. "Take this!" He performs a spinning tornado attack and moves towards Punk while spinning at high velocity.
"Hmph! You don't learn!" Punk jumps into the air and performs a dropping kick directly on top of YL's head and stops his spinning. YL drops onto the ground from the hard impact on the head. Punk stands on top of him and raises his pincer. "Now the fight has come to an end. Let's finish this!"
But right before he brings the pincer down, a powerful shot hits Punk on the side and sends him flying off YL. "Ugh!"
Everyone's attention turns toward the origin of the blast—Mewtwo! "It's not finish yet," says Mewtwo.
"It's the psychic master!" says Pix. "Now things will be tougher to handle!"
"Yes, and you better be ready for it."
"You've come to save us!" exclaims Nana.
"Right! We thought we were goners!" says Popo.
Punk gets up from being shot and says, "This is something totally unexpected. Our target was originally only the psychic boy."
"You mean me?" asks Ness.
"The person who hired us told us to eliminate only you, but now there seems to be some problems. Very well, we shall withdraw for now. We were not ready for this kind of situation. In a fight, one must know very well whom you are facing, but right now we are not. We will meet again! Pix and Pork, let's go!"
After saying this, the 3 Space Pirates zip away in a blink of an eye. "They're not around here anymore," says Mewtwo. "That should be safe."
"What are you doing here, Mewtwo?" Ness asks him.
"You kids should've been there at the race about 30 minutes ago, but you didn't. That's why I came out to search for you."
"How's the race going?"
"It's getting more and more exciting. They're almost coming to an end."
"Oh no! We'll never catch up in time!"
"Not without me." Mewtwo tells the kids to come near him, and he uses teleport to warp all of them to the course.
-
Ganondorf is moving very fast and has raced past Pokey. Now he is competing with Captain Falcon.
CF looks back and sees Ganondorf approaching. "So he caught up… Looks like I have to move! First place is mines this time!"
Ganondorf is trying hard to catch up with CF, who is near the finish line. "No… At this rate, he's gonna get there first!"
CF has nothing to fear anymore; without doubt, he will get first place. Ganondorf is still a few yards behind him, and the finish line is just a few yards away. Surely you would have guessed who the winner is by this time, and yes, he will win!
Yoshi just brought a hotdog and is about to eat it when suddenly Mewtwo and the 4 kids appear above him and drop down on him, ruining the hotdog. "Hey! My hotdog!" cries Yoshi.
"Sorry about that. Sometimes it's hard to predict where we'll reappear," says Mewtwo.
"Did we make it on time?" asks Young Link.
"And the winner is CAPTAIN FALCON!" shouts the voice of Talko.
"Whoa! He won!" exclaims Ness.
"Seems like it," replies Samus.
"YAY! FALCON IS NUMBER 1!" cheer Bon Clay and his men while jumping up and down with pink pom-poms in their hands.
CF stands up and raises his hand in triumph while tears a joy and happiness slowly run down his cheeks. "Yes… At last… I did it…" he says to himself.
Ganondorf came in second and Pokey came in third. "Well… Better than last time," mutters Pokey.
Ganondorf bangs his head against his bike and cries, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Darth Vader style.
-
Soon afterwards…
"Everyone! Did you see that? I won first place!" exclaims CF. "I'm so happy! Yahoo!"
"You're so great! Captain Falcon!" says Bon Clay while running towards him with arms wide open. "I knew you would win if I cheer for you!"
"Hey! Don't come near me with that stupid makeup of yours!"
"Congratulations, Falcon," Fox says to CF. "I knew you would get first place this time!"
"Heh heh! I'm so happy! Now I can enter the finals!" says CF proudly.
"Actually, you could enter the finals even if you did not get first place this time," Carlos tells him. "You already have 2 winning records, so it makes no difference even if you lost this race. But still, congratulations on getting first place!"
"Thank you, my tester!"
Like last time, Ganondorf is being scolded by his mega-goddamn-strict-as-hell tester Jason. "You're horrible!" screams Jason. "What happened to your talents at the test? You disappointed me again! My grandmother can drive a Ferrari better than you!"
"I'm so sorry!" says Ganondorf. "But I did get 3 winning records, right? I can still…"
"Listen to me first! I don't care whether you enter the finals or not! I'm more interested in you getting first place! You showed so much potential during the test, but now you drive even worse than my great-grandfather who has broken arms! He can easily beat you riding a unicycle!"
"Please… You don't have to…"
"No complaints! You're the worst student I've ever seen! All other people that I taught learn from their past mistakes and become good afterwards! But you're different! You're one of those 0.45 people who do not learn from their mistakes and complain whenever they get disciplined a little bit! What kind of a BS people is that! You're so horrible that I can't find anyone as bad as you!"
Jason goes on rambling about all the negative things he can think of and also how his family can race better than Ganondorf. Eventually, Ganondorf can't take it any longer; his rage is starting to build up. The more Jason shouts at him, the more Ganondorf feels like exploding.
"AND YOU HAVE ONE BIG ----ING STUPID GODDAMN AWFUL UGLY NOSE!"
This is the last straw! Ganondorf can't take it any longer! He throws a punch directly into Jason's face and punches him to the ground.
POW!
And he jumps on top of Jason and beats him rapidly in the race.
POW!
SMACK!
WHACK!
WHAM!
"STOP IT! GANONDORF! YOU'RE MAD! STOP!" screams Jason.
Ganondorf lifts him up by the neck and hits him in the stomach using the almighty Warlock Punch.
KAPOW!
"GAAAAAAAAAH!" Jason flies all the way back and crashes through a couple of random walls.
CRASH!
BANG!
The priests and other people look through the broken walls and see Jason lying there, all beaten up and bloodied, and unconscious too.
Ganondorf wakes up from his rage and says, "Oh no! What have I done!"
The priests look at him for a while, and then they clap their hands and say, "Bravo!"
"Uh…? Why?"
"To tell you the truth: We never liked Jason in the first place," says Carlos. "You did us a favor of beating the crap out of him!"
"Uh… Yeah… I just had to it… But I'm glad to gave that beating to him!" says Ganondorf happily.
-
Pokey got his prize money and walks away while saying about how great he is and how he can now enter the finals, since he has two winning records. And then he sees Ness standing among the audiences. "What! Shouldn't he be dead by now?" He quietly walks to a place without anyone and says, "I know you guys are hiding here! Come out!" And then the 3 Space Pirates appear before him. "So you failed to kill him, uh?"
"There were some unexpected events during the job," explains Punk. "The amount of enemy is too much for us to handle, so we weren't able to eliminate the target easily. I admit we have failed this mission, we will return you the money if you want to."
Pokey stretches out his hand and says, "Yeah! Give it back!" Punk got out $100 dollars and hands it to Pokey. "Hmph! I thought you guys are more capable than this!" And then he storms off angrily.
"So… What do we do now?" asks Pix.
"Go off and wait for someone to give us an assignment," replies Punk.
"I'm hungry," says Pork.
-
That night at the Smash Mansion, everyone is throwing a party to celebrate Captain Falcon's first place winning. Well, it was CF who insisted the party; otherwise they wouldn't hold a party over this small matter.
"Everyone cheer for me!" says CF holding up his cup. "I got first place!"
"Why didn't I get a big party when I won first place?" complains Falco.
"Because you were never destined to!"
"Why you!"
Then the phone rings and Samus goes to answers it, "Hello? Please… no… This isn't…"
"Hey, Samus! Is it another wrong call?" Bowser asks her, and she replies with a nod. "Then give me!" Bowser takes the phone from her and answers it, "We're having a party right now, and we have pizza from Pizza Palace! If you want to, you can come over and have it with us! But I'm not telling you the address! This is a the penalty for always calling the wrong number, you doofus!"
TO BE CONTINUED…
That was quite a long chapter, eh? Notice that this chapter didn't focus too much about the race. I decided to take a new path instead of always going with the race. This story will have much plot behind it rather than just simple racing. As you read on, the storyline will become deeper and perhaps darker.
So anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Surely it's more detailed than the previous chapter, which was rushed.
And notice how I managed to bring over the longtime running gag, the wrong phone calls.