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Buffy took a sip of the freshly made lemonade and wafted herself with the magazine in her hand, summer was now in full effect and the sun was relentless; for the past week the temperature was at least 8 degrees above the norm.
Standing up from the lounger she made her way over to the pool and carefully walked down the steps, the water was unbearably cold but it was a welcome change to the sun. She groaned when her cell went off, she climbed back out of the pool to grab it.
"Hey… oh, no that's okay" she replied quietly as Angel expressed that he would unfortunately have to work for an hour or two later that evening, she told him that she would be fine and that she couldn't wait to see him.
Lately he was always working; he was banking extra hours to create a trust for their future child… not that she was pregnant at the moment but it didn't hurt to be prepared.
Her bottom lip jut out as she thought about their situation, before she could worry herself with too many thoughts she was startled from her daze by the banging of a door.
"I told you Linds, It's not that I don't want your kids I do" she peeked through the slats in the fence to see Darla with her hands on her hips, Lindsay looking more than upset "Don't give me that Darlin, you don't want this to work"
Darla grabbed onto his hand, her usual I don't give a fuck façade now crumbling "No I love you, but I'm too young, we can have a family in a few year time… just for the time being I'm having an abortion and you should support me on that!"
Lindsay ran his hand over his hair in frustration "Why can't our time be now?" Darla came over and wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him gently; one of his hands travelled to her flat stomach then paused.
"I don't want IT now, give me just a few year then we'll talk" his hand immediately dropped from her skin; reluctantly she unwound her arms and took a step back to look at him pleadingly.
Without saying anything Linds went back inside and slammed the door again, Darla let out a shriek then dialled the number to the clinic. Buffy listened in sickness as she heard Darla laugh with the nurse on the phone as she made a date to terminate the pregnancy.
She looked down at her hands and fought the urge to wring Darla's neck, the other blonde was oblivious that her conversation had been overheard, not that it probably mattered anyway. When the front door slammed Darla sneered "How overdramatic"
Buffy watched as Darla swung her hips side to side over to the outside bar and poured herself some Merlot from one of the bottles stored inside. The older blonde downed the contents then poured another before taking her position on the sun lounger.
Being as quiet as possible, Buffy picked up a towel that was on the patio and wrapped it around her body; she hugged herself tightly, all of a sudden feeling cold despite the warm weather. She stood for a few moments in a trance then took a deep breath.
Oooooooooooooo
Angel frowned when he saw that none of the lights were on in the house, he opened the door and looked around "Buffy?" he walked around the ground floor of their house before heading upstairs, like downstairs she was nowhere to be found.
He dialled her cell then followed the sound to where it was ringing, he headed by the pool and up to the back of the yard, Buffy was sitting on the swing that she had forever went on about. He hung up then looked at her; it worried him that she had that blank look on her face.
"Buff?" after a moment she blinked once then looked at him, carefully he sat beside her on the swing "What's wrong?" her head was resting on her knees, she'd curled up into a ball, like she was trying to shut out the world.
She was still in her swimsuit albeit dry, the wind had picked up so the temperature was a few degree less than usual. There were goose bumps all over her body, going by her demeanour she didn't realise how cold it had turned.
He ran his hand over her shoulder, reluctantly she let go of her knees then tucked one underneath her as she sat back down "I keep thinking to myself… I must have done something really bad either in this life or a past life"
Angel frowned, before he could say anything she continued, her voice fraught with pain "I've tried to do good, I have a wonderful life… I have you…" her voice crackled with emotion "the only thing I want now would be a baby… it's been five month and nothing's happened"
He let out a sigh and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tight in his embrace and placed a kiss on her hair "It'll happen sometime Buffy, we knew that it was highly unlikely that that you would get pregnant straight away"
Buffy nodded sadly "I know that…" she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand then looked at him "I overheard Darla today… she's pregnant but doesn't want it, made an appointment to kill her baby"
The look of grief on her face made his chest tighten, he squeezed her tight and kissed her forehead gently "I know I shouldn't have listened but how could she do that? Do you know how much it hurts that she has what I want and doesn't care?"
Her body started shaking with emotion "I've ate healthy, I've took all the vitamins… we've been having a LOT of sex" he smirked at her for a moment then looked at her seriously "We've done everything we can and it's not happened… what…"
Buffy took a deep breath "What if the accident done something to me? What if I can't have a baby?" she looked at him with wide eyes, his heart was breaking for her, she looked so sad and defeated, when she started to cry he wiped away the tears.
He hushed her until the sobs evened out, he wanted so badly for her to get pregnant, each month since their agreement he waited with her until the day she would get her period and storm around the house in a foul mood.
They'd even bought those little tests that predict when the best time to conceive would be, those few days they'd hardly leave bed, spending all day in every position they could think of until they were completely spent.
Angel tucked some hair behind her ear then kissed her softly "Tomorrow we'll call the doctor and book an appointment, doesn't hurt to have the tests carried out…" she nodded sadly at him, he sighed deeply and brought her further into his embrace.
"You know I have heard that if you are planning, sometimes your body gets stressed and can tamper with getting pregnant… why don't we wait till we get the results then take some time off, go to the cottage, we've not been there yet"
Buffy reluctantly smiled, she loved him so much, he was caring and considerate and knew how to make her feel better "That sounds good" she placed her head on his chest and closed her eyes, just wanting to spend a few more minutes in his arms.
Angel held her tight until her stomach rumbled with hunger, she looked away in embarrassment then smiled when he stood and brought her against his body "Come on, I'll make us some food and you can change into proper clothes" she only nodded as he led her back inside.
Oooooooooooooo
She had been a nervous wreck the day the appointment came to go to the clinic for both of them to be tested, despite that the doctor was caring and very informative it still didn't put her at ease, what if she couldn't have children naturally, what would happen?
Feeling sorry for herself she skipped on having dinner and went straight to bed, Angel frowned but didn't say anything, if he pushed dinner then she would fight him on the subject. He wrapped up some food and placed it in the fridge knowing that she would scrounge during the night.
She pretended to be asleep when he finally retired for the evening but it didn't fool him, he slid under the covers and wrapped his arm around her waist "Goodnight Buff, I love you" he kissed her hair then closed his eyes.
When he finally went to sleep she tried to go to sleep herself but couldn't, after a few hours of lying in his arms she headed downstairs to grab some food. She rolled her eyes playfully as she looked at the note with a love heart attached to the foil covering the dinner he had made.
She was thankful that he was considerate and tolerated her being a brat and within minutes she had inhaled the food and drunk a full pitcher of water. By the time she had returned to bed he was still asleep, she laid back down to face him.
Her fingertips gently grazed over his forehead, along his nose then traced his lips; she could spend all evening tracing his features. Although it would be difficult if she couldn't conceive naturally she knew that it would be all worth it to have his children.
All she could picture was a little boy who looked like a tiny version of his father, the same chocolate eyes, dark brown hair and beautiful facial structure; if she could have one wish it would be that. She leaned down to kiss him then jumped when his hand came to the back of her head.
Angel rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand then propped his head on his hand "Everything okay?" he glanced past her to see the clock glowing 03:52.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" she scrunched her nose up feeling bad that she had disturbed his sleep. His free hand stroked her arm then settled on her hip that was hidden under the sheets, although she hadn't been crying he could see how upset she was.
He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose "Get some rest, all we can do is wait now" she smiled weakly at him, he slid his hand underneath the covers to hold on to her, his fingertips trailing along her spine "No matter what happens, we'll have a family one day, I promise"
A genuine smile spread on her face as she scooted closer to him and wrapped her free arm around his neck, they held each other's gaze not feeling the need to say anything. Angel kissed her softly before rolling onto his back and bringing her against his chest.
Buffy let out a contented sigh and closed her eyes, he was right, there was no point in worrying, it wouldn't bring the results quicker. He kissed the top of her head once again making her smile; it wasn't long before they both fell asleep.