Part One Hundred and Forty-Nine
Nikki lit an early morning cigarette, and sipped at a cup of strong black coffee. She didn't normally resort to caffeine to prop up her energy level, as it was normally up to any demands that she cared to put on it. She had to admit to herself that she was dog tired. She had worked through one appraisal interview after another, with machine driven force of will, with just enough time to allow her natural manner to prevent her sound as if she were doing it by rote. She had written up the last report at home into the small hours of last night. Everything was nearly done apart from the last interviewee, and that was Sylvia Hollamby.
She groaned inwardly as she thought of the prospect. She could anticipate nothing else but a ding-dong battle with that monument to prejudice and narrow-mindedness. She was certain most of all, that she would face that immovable malignant resentment of Nikki's very existence of being set in authority over her.
"Take a seat, Sylvia." Nikki offered her in as positive a tone that she could summon up.
The other woman only scowled and moved forward to occupy the chair with as bad grace as possible. "As you know, it's time for your annual appraisal when your performance over the year is assessed against your job description"
"Hmmh, I suppose you've made up your mind already"
"No, Sylvia, I'll hear anything any one of my staff want to say that's relevant and that includes you"
Nikki's smooth response promptly headed off the other woman's line of reasoning, and pressed her own authority down on the scowling woman, who had still not come to terms with Nikki's presence in Larkhall.
"We'd better get on and talk about what you've done in this last year. Perhaps you'd care to speak"
"Well, I've done as I've always done. No con, I mean prisoner, has escaped while they've been in my charge. I've shown them who's boss, and I have maintained good order and discipline to the best of my ability"
"…..And you've acted with perfect integrity and fairness all the time"
"Hmmh. Well, they've all got everything that was coming to them"
"Including Barbara Mills. I would say that your treatment of her has shown how bigoted you are. This is a particular instance of how you have let your personal feelings get in the way of your job"
"You would say that, wouldn't you? After all, you're her friend and you've bent over backward in your treatment of her." Shot back Bodybag with a malicious smile.
A wave of weariness spread through Nikki. She had been halfway expecting that retort , but it did hit a vulnerable spot in her. Where the Julies, Denny and Barbara were concerned, she felt that the boundaries might be in danger of getting blurred. Right now, her own rule of questioning her own actions was shading into self-doubt. She reached out for an answer and suddenly, the mental fog was blown away by the wind.
"Friendship has nothing to do with it, Sylvia. I expect all my prison officers to treat prisoners fairly, whether they are the Julies or Natalie Buxton"
Bodybag scowled at Nikki's firm response, and slouched back into her chair. Instinct told her to keep her head down if she was on the losing side of an argument.
"Have you anything more to say about your last year, Sylvia?"
"There's nothing I can say that will be of any use."
"Shall we proceed….'carrying out security checks and searching procedures'……I can say that you have met this to my satisfaction ……'supervising prisoners, keeping account of prisoners in your charge and maintaining order employing authorised physical control and restraint procedures where appropriate'……..well, nothing that has come to my ears to say that you haven't acted improperly in this respect"
"Don't strain yourself in thanking me." Came the ungracious reply. Nikki refused to rise to the bait.
"When it comes to 'taking care of prisoners and their property, taking account of their rights and dignity, providing appropriate care and support for prisoners at risk of self harm,' I cannot mark you as fitted on this count. I have touched on your attitude to Barbara Mills. You have acted the same with other prisoners and the truth of the matter is that your behavior hasn't changed. You allow your bigoted set of values to take over and you simply have no respect from your fellow prison officers, from prisoners and from me. The only change that has taken place is that you are marginalized and you have to be more discreet about it. You just nurse your grudges and don't let them or your past go."
"You're speaking tommyrot." Bodybag burst out.
"I have it on the best authority, Sylvia, that this is what you said about Barbara.' You'll never change her. You should know that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.' Do I make my point"
Sylvia just glowered in silence, as Nikki severely indicted her with her own words.
When it comes to 'promoting anti-bullying and suicide prevention policies', 'taking an active part in rehabilitation programmes for prisoners', I have to say that you have simply skived out of any opportunity to show that you are up to the job"
"It wasn't what I was trained to do when I started this job many years ago." Snorted Bodybag.
"This is part of the job now, Sylvia." Nikki retorted with a hard edge to her voice. "Times have changed and not before time. Once again you are not up to the mark. So let's come onto the final matter of 'assessing and advising prisoners, using your own experiences and integrity and writing fair and perceptive reports on prisoners……………' My judgment about your lack of fairness flows into this area. As well as this,your reports are slipshod and scanty"
"I was taught many years ago how to write a report. They've done the job well enough down the years." Snapped Sylvia.
"What kind of job, Sylvia? To my mind, the only function they achieve is to keep your back covered so that if any real trouble breaks loose, nothing can be laid at your door. As you know, I'm not a fan of the prison system as it was and I have to ask myself that if I choose to trawl through your reports down the years to check out for any of the abuses that have taken place, would I find any enlightenment in your reports? I think not"
Nikki's cold hard tones only betrayed the faintest tremor of anger as, despite her best efforts, her own words recalled many bitter memories of injustices not brought to book. Bodybag knew very well what Nikki was alluding to and clammed up tight.
"Before I move on, I have to put to you your scandalously incompetent and malicious behaviour in giving evidence in court as a prosecution witness at Barbara Mills' trial…" Nikki began when she was interrupted.
"It's not in the job description, so you can't mark me down on this. If you do, my union will have something to say about it. You can expect your first grievance in your in tray and this will blot your copy book." Bodybag beamed with poisonous relish. She had been waiting for this moment and enjoyed every moment of telling Madam where to get off.
"If you care to look at your annual report in its entirety, Sylvia, you will see that your objectives all come under a general description of 'acting in a professional manner." Nikki explained in a tone of strained politeness. "After all, only your main duties are covered. It does not, it cannot include every single activity that is undertaken throughout the year, especially when it does not fall to every prison officer to give evidence in court. That gives me leeway to include this black mark on your record for the purpose of your appraisal."
"So if you don't get me one way, you'll get me another, miss"
"You mean when you connived with Dr Nicholson to ship Shell Dockley out to the muppet wing after Fenner was stabbed and she got beaten up in the showers?" shot back Nikki in icy tones. She let the silence hang in the air for a couple of minutes before carrying on.
"If I come back to your appearance in court, the best thing I can say is that it is am embarrassment to the prison service. If I take a hard line on you, your remarks totally prejudiced the opportunity of a fair trial, which was only rescued by the skin of the teeth. Your very worst action that day was to bring up Barbara's previous conviction"
"I thought it right that the jury should know the nature of the woman they were dealing with"
"Do you really not understand, Sylvia? There are rules of evidence of what can and cannot be admitted in court." Stormed Nikki, losing all patience with the stupid woman." When we enter court to give evidence, we are on their turf, not ours. Like it or not, that is the way it goes and for this reason, the judge has rightly banned you permanently from ever giving evidence in court, something that I shall rigorously uphold so you can kiss goodbye to your expenses as well"
"That was the way I was trained to give evidence"
"And for this reason, I shall give every prison officer a training course in how to give evidence in court in a proper fashion so that your fiasco will never, ever be repeated while I'm wing governor"
"You?"
"Why not? I'm well qualified." Cut back Nikki with absolute assurance.
"I suppose that you plan to push me out of my job in the same way that Di Barker was got rid of"
"What makes you say that, Sylvia"
"Oh, come on, it's as plain as a pikestaff"
"On the contrary, it is not. Di Barker very deliberately sneaked out a news cutting of Karen's address to Shell Dockley, and abused the trust of me and her fellow officers. She knew very well that it would give Shell a focus on how to escape from Ashmore, a reason to escape and that sooner or later, with her track record she would do it. Her scheming resulted in Karen's life being put seriously at risk, and could have had further repercussions into the bargain. It turned out that there were no serious consequences but there could have been. Your mischief was more limited in its possible consequences, but don't think that I have forgotten it, especially not when I have to review your probation this August"
"What do you mean? I'll be back without anyone snooping on my every move"
'I wouldn't bet on it." Came Nikki's dry response.
She helped herself to a glass of water as her throat was dry and on the point of packing up on her. She would have loved to smoke a cigarette, but she was duty bound to respect the wishes of a non-smoker, even Sylvia.
"I suppose you'll enjoy the next bit, tearing my reputation to pieces in print and blackening my name"
"You'll get a report that will reflect last years performance." Nikki answered cautiously. She didn't dare think of the very difficult job she had of keeping her own prejudices out of putting pen to paper. "What's always interested me is how you once got to be a Senior Officer. On the face of it, the appraisal system won't have changed. You certainly aren't any different than you used to be years ago so how did it happen"
Bodybag was silent. She wasn't going to let on how she had got her promotion. It all seemed so much easier in those days as they were all in the same club.
"No explanation? Well, I can assume the worst. Have you anything else to say"
Nikki's last technical courtesy was brushed aside.
"I'm going. Off to the club."
The sudden quiet was almost deafening to Nikki, as she smoked that much craved cigarette and looked down at her scrawled notes. Wearily, she turned to her computer to tap out the familiar phrases and to seek the dry, unemotional words that would pin that evil bigoted woman down as effectively as a butterfly under a glass case. It was sheer will power that drove her on. It was an hour or so when she had done and briefly announced to a concerned Gina that she was taking the rest of the afternoon off.
Helen was immediately concerned how weary and listless Nikki was when she got home. The other woman lay full length on the sofa, her eyes closed. A half empty glass of water and a clean ashtray lay at her side.
"Sweetheart, you look dreadful. Come on, let me look after you"
There were moments like these that Nikki loved in Helen, especially that melting soft tone in her voice that made her feel loved. Despite her reluctance to be fussed over, she let Helen tuck a duvet round her and slide a pillow under her head. She basked in the attention, while Helen prepared an evening snack. She lay there immobile while soft relaxing music was played from her CD to ease a little of the stress out of the day. The sidelights left dim circles of light on the living room wall while the rest of the room was left in comforting gloom. The world was at peace, at least temporarily so.
Even though it was early, Helen encouraged Nikki to have an early night. As soon as Nikki's head hit the pillow, she fell fast asleep. Behind her, Helen lay protectively next to her and all was comforting blackness.
Nikki couldn't remember how she ever found herself back in her office and the personnel file of none other than Jim Fenner before her. She supposed that she had become punch drunk, after cutting a swathe through the appraisal interviews and feverishly committing them to paper before her memory was blurred. She must have forgotten about him but it didn't matter. He was there before her and no matter how tired she felt, he was far more uncomfortable than she was.
"Ah, Jim Fenner, grab a seat. You are last but not least in how much attention I shall devote to you"
"I suppose you left me till last to wind me up, or else that you think I'm the most trouble to you," growled the man, intense anger radiating off him in waves. His features were settled in their familiar scowl but Nikki's force of personality held him in her power. She was surprised to see that the pips on his uniform were absent. She supposed that he had been demoted.
"Now why should you ever think that way, Jim?" Nikki answered in bright tones with an unconscious suggestion of George's aristocratic drawl. From seeing George in action, she had sponged up on that particularly effective verbal ploy. The intense glare of anger told Nikki that it had worked.
"You and I have never got on. You've always had it in for me, so spare me this pantomime"
"You know very well that I'll treat all my staff, including you, straight down the line, no favouritism….But don't ever think that you can use that against me"
Nikki's bright firm opening response shifted like lightning to a much quieter, deadlier whiplash threat. She gathered into herself all the force of personality that she had learned over the years. She could feel her eyes burn into the man on the other side of her desk. Fenner was the first to look away.
"You were bang out of order in demoting me." Growled Fenner, his number one grievance to the fore."You're lucky I didn't take you to the union as a grievance, for harassment"
"Not sexual harassment, I trust?" Nikki shot back a barbed response." Save that for Rachel Hicks, Shell Dockley…….and Helen Wade"
"Come again"
"Better known to you as Helen Stewart. You have a bad reputation for going way, way over the mark in rooms where there aren't any witnesses. This time around, I'm not taking any chances. Walls have ears and eyes"
"I've got my pension to think of. It isn't worth screwing up over you"
"So long as you're around long enough to get it." Cut back Nikki dryly.
Suddenly a crack of thunder jumped out of nowhere, and rolled round Nikki's office. A fierce blast of wind splattered the first onslaught of a torrential downpour against the window panes. She glanced sideways at the window, and saw that dark, lowering clouds had rapidly overshadowed her view of the exercise yard. Fenner didn't blink an eye as if these elemental forces were no stranger to him. As he said nothing, she went to offer him a cigarette, as she reached for one herself. She was not surprised that he curtly refused it.
"What am I doing here in any case?" Fenner muttered, shaking his head as if trying to clear his thoughts." Simon's done my review. ……What are you doing here, Wade"
He added more aggressively.
"Nikki Wade, if you please. Let's get the courtesies right. You should know that I'm your new wing governor in case you hadn't forgotten. Stubberfield is long gone and I'm here to"
"Really piss me off"
"No, Jim. To sit in judgment over you, if you like. You know that this has been a long , long time coming"
Nikki's steely tones beat down Fenner's anger. In his eyes, that dyke Wade had the knack of looking at him with thinly veiled contempt, and could see his every thought. She was beyond his control, and deep down that both angered and scared him.Added to this was that tone of command, which had dominated him through his Army days, no matter how hard he had tried to imitate it. Even all the years he had climbed up the greasy pole of success didn't protect him. He fell silent.
"Let's get down to business, Jim and see how you've performed according to the guidelines that you'll have signed up to last year. As you have said often enough round the PO's room, you've been around a long time so the whole process should be familiar to you"
"Not these guidelines, they're not. They're the sort of thing that soppy Stewart has dreamed up."
"Well, like it or lump it, they are standards against which your performance is to be judged. You can't plead ignorance…..Let me see, we'll go through them in order and consider how far you've met them, or not as the case may be"
Nikki's level formal tones had the knack of getting under Fenner's skin more that he would have thought possible. They conveyed the power that she had over him.
"Well, let's see…….carrying out security checks and searching procedures……..I've got nothing particular one way or another….except that you've always been a bit lax where Dockley's concerned. Remember her"
"You're lying. I'm her personal officer, that's all"
"Very personal, I'm sure. It's funny that Dominic busts her for dealing drugs and you with all your experience never so much as found an aspirin on her. Then there's 'supervising prisoners, keeping account of prisoners in your charge and maintaining order employing authorised physical control and restraint procedures where appropriate.' Well, I have to admit that you like the sound of your own shouting but it's funny how Shell Dockley keeps headbutting the prison wall. A bit suspicious, don't you think? Is it any wonder that you were suspended, at least until you somehow wormed your way out of trouble. If I hear of one more incident of this type…and I will hear of it, trust me, then I'll make sure you're out of the prison service without your pension"
"Is that all?" glowered Fenner."Nothing nice to say as usual"
"Why should I? How can I find anything positive to say about you when I look at how you have 'taken care of prisoners and their property, taking account of their rights and dignity, providing appropriate care and support for prisoners at risk of self harm' and 'promoting anti-bullying and suicide prevention policies.' That has to be the biggest joke of all. Oh yeah, you have 'taken care of some of them all right if they are young, vulnerable, and don't know enough about how to say no. To you, prisoners have no rights at all. They are only to be played with if they take your fancy and easily disposable if they turn awkward. As for 'prisoners at risk of self harm' I have only two words to say to you. Rachel Hicks. You are a sexist, homophobic monstrosity and the worst bully anyone could hope to meet outside of a horror movie. If I could give you minus ten for your report, I would do."
Fenner just sat back woodenly, while Nikki built up her systematic denunciation into a storming crescendo. She had bottled up her feelings for so long, and now it all came out in a stream of controlled fury. She could hear very clearly that little voice at the back of her head that had taught her discretion, just how far to push a situation without it blowing back in her face. She paused as she took a large drink of water as her throat was getting dry. When she continued, it was in much quieter tones as she summed up.
"So, Jim Fenner, just what sort of prison officer are you? I cannot mark you as having satisfied any of your personal objectives that you signed up for. It's a wonder that you weren't given the push years ago." "You think you're so smart with all those long words, you interfering dyke. You're missing out one thing that's right under your bloody nose. It's called jail craft, something that you don't pick up in fancy books. You get to learn it by doing the job, by breaking up trouble before it has a chance to start. You use your eyes and your ears. I've worked longer at this nick longer than anyone. If you push me too far, I'll make sure that you'll regret that you ever crossed my path…….."
"Oh, Jim, I have had such a lot of ideas of what I would do to you if I had the chance." Nikki cut in, in a surprisingly reflective almost sing song tone of voice. It caught Fenner off balance, anticipation that Nikki would be drawn into a full-scale row. "One time, I might have stabbed you with a smashed milk bottle if Helen hadn't stepped in. I could never think of a punishment big enough for you. Then, one day, I found the answer. You are very deeply pathologically disturbed, Jim Fenner so the answer is to cure you. I'm going to sign you up to a course of counselling that a friend of mine will oversee. You have no choice on the matter. He has a background as a psychiatrist who will be better suited than the alternative I had in mind……."
Nikki had thought originally of Helen but had ruled out the idea. There was too much dangerous history between the two of them, so that she could not think of exposing Helen to such a dangerous risk.
"Thomas, please come in." she called out in a louder tone of voice." It's time to introduce you to your next client"
As she spoke, Thomas promptly slid in through the door from her secretary's room where he had observed and heard everything that had gone on through a spy hole.
"No, no, anything but that." Fenner burst out, his eyes bulging, sweat pouring down his face.
"Well, Jim, we are going to get to know each other very well." Thomas said heartily, extending his hand to shake Fenner's limp grip in a firm handshake, before adding in a confiding whisper. "I promise not to take a swing at you this time"
"Take him away, Thomas. You know, Fenner, that you cannot escape your destiny. You get an unsatisfactory marking from me this year but, who knows, with caring counselling you might make the grade next year"
"You lay one finger on me, Mr Shrink and I'll…." Fenner snarled, pulling away from the handshake.
"Come on, Jim," Dominic intervened from out of nowhere," You know it is all for the best. You need from really caring professional help to straighten you out, someone really able to really get inside your head. Don't worry, Thomas will be really kind and understanding."
Nikki watched in a curiously detached frame of mind how Dominic's soothing words contrasted with the steely grip with which he grasped Fenner's shoulder. Thomas seized the opportunity to frog march him away from her from his other side. It was as if all her power of command radiated outwards to these two very able work colleagues of like mind. She sat in a curiously contented frame of mind as Fenner's shrieks of anguish resonated in her office, and how the two determined men wheeled him out of her door and away. She knew for certain that Fenner would never come back……………….
Nikki stretched out her legs and lay back in her chair, exhausted ……and couldn't work out how her naked foot suddenly connected with soft flesh.
"Jesus, Nikki." An unexpected Scottish voice invaded her office out of nowhere without opening the door first.
"Where am I?" she heard her muffled voice say to yourself.
"In bed next to me, Nikki."
Nikki became aware that she was lying horizontal rather than lying back in her chair, feeling zonked out. She also realized that she was wearing a nightie, not her suit and that a crumpled duvet lay over them both. It comforted her that she was living with Helen, after all and didn't have to look out on the wing for any more trouble from that bastard.
"I was dreaming that I was doing Fenner's appraisal." Nikki replied with a shaky laugh.
"And what sort of mark did you give him?" Helen asked lightly. She refrained from making any comment about Nikki letting work get in the way of her sleep, let alone her homelife. She'd been there or something similar to it.
"Even worse than Sylvia's. I'd demoted him as well."
"Well, you won't have to write out the report and hand it to him, as he's saved you the trouble by being dead." Helen retorted, suppressing a grin. By all accounts, even Nikki's dreams were so typical of her.
"Oh, that's good." Mumbled Nikki unthinkingly.
"You know, Nikki, I ought to take you out for some kind of treat, either an expensive meal or the best musical experience or anything you want." Pronounced Helen in her most determined forceful tones.
"Did I ever tell you that I love it when you're bossy," Nikki said weakly and lay limply while Helen cuddled her closely. She hadn't the physical energy to move much less argue.