In the following weeks, Buffy's mental health slowly built itself back up. All those intrusive thoughts, the ones that pictured death and destruction around her, gradually faded, she would have the occasional panic, but she reluctantly told Angel one night when they were cosied up on the sofa, only earlier hearing from Lindsay that Darla was breathing on her own and slowly came into consciousness.
Angel had of course reconfirmed that he loved her and was there for her, that if there was ever anything she was unsure of or upset over then he would drop everything else and listen to whatever she had to say. He didn't try to denigrate her or make her feel like she was full of nonsense, he listened with openness and logically talked her through what she was feeling and how they could get through it.
They had discussed whether to contact her doctor to discuss her feelings, or to find support groups that specialise in trauma, post-partum mental health, or both. Knowing what a slippery slope it could be, she done her best to let all concerns be aired, she was done with bottling everything up like she had done in the past. Deciding that for the time being she would lean on Angel, she decided to try things on her own for a while but promised that any rise in worry, she would contact someone.
As for their neighbours, they didn't intrude, it wasn't them to barge into their home, ask for updates and spend unwelcomed time with the man who, despite needing a friend, wanted to be alone. Any time there was an update to her health, Linds would catch one of them as they were outside to let them know. Buffy had begun to make peace with what came before, all the time Darla was a grade A bitch to her, she wanted to rise above and be civil with the promiscuous little hussy.
A frown worried its way onto Buffy's face as she narrated in her head what she had just said, sure, she was trying to be a bigger person but that didn't stop her calling the blonde tramp names. Shaking her head to stop this silliness, she picked up the gift basket from the counter and sighed, Darla had arrived home earlier for the first time since the incident and she wanted her to know that, despite everything, she didn't have to face the recovery by herself.
Angel had taken Liam out for a few hours so that she could go on her own, this was something she wanted to do, without needing a mediator, if things didn't go to plan and became less civil then she wanted to be able to fend for herself. That was a part of her recovery from everything.
With a clear of the throat, to force down the unease in her chest, Buffy nodded once and knocked loudly on the door to Lindsay and Darla's house. After a pause, Linds swung the door open and smiled kindly at her, still only being civil and not having a lot of interaction between them, Buffy felt like she could be friends with him… maybe in another life.
"She's in the den" he nodded towards the end of the foyer before he headed upstairs to give them some privacy. Gingerly making her way down the long hall, she spied the blonde sitting on a loveseat, wrapped in a heavy blanket, looking dejected.
Buffy felt her heart tighten as she looked at her once voluptuous, glamourous neighbour and took in everything about her. Her hair was ratty, the tan she typically sported had faded, she was so pale that she looked almost grey in the dull light. As Darla looked up to her when she finally felt her presence, she noticed that her eyes looked hollow.
"What are you doing here?" the whisper that croaked from her throat was lacking its usual bite, she only sounded sad.
Coming closer to her, she placed the gift basket on the side table and forced a smile, instantly feeling silly for having this idea to be kind and wanting to hightail it out of there "I thought you could do with some company?" the sound of the attempted laugh from Darla made her feel even more for her.
Darla rolled her eyes "I don't need company, I don't need anyone…" she then wrapped the blanket tighter around her slender frame, having always had a lack of female friends, hell, many friends at all, she wanted to cry at how pathetic her life actually was. Part of that was why she decided that if she did just check out, that she would be free of that pain and that her poor, yet incredibly amazing husband would be free of her too.
"This may surprise you, but I think I know how you feel" seeing another eye roll, Buffy continued "I thought I had the best life, which went to hell in a handbasket real quick… and once it all came crashing down, I felt like it wasn't worth it anymore. That it would be better to stop, just stop the pitiful looks, stop the heartache, and just stop. Everything" not divulging the gritty details, Buffy nodded "I know"
Darla's eyes darted from side to side as her breathing increased, Buffy saw her hands pick at the fabric of the blanket and knew all too well that the woman in front of her was trying her absolute best to not break down in tears and to not come to a complete panic attack. Although she wanted to console her, she couldn't bring herself to move one single step.
"I'm sorry about what happened and what might have been going through your head at that time but take it from someone who has been there, done that, stop pushing people away. Stop pushing away any signs of an olive branch that someone might show" she tipped her head towards the item she brought with her and then continued "and stop pushing Lindsay away, he loves you, more than you know and will be there to help you"
Darla closed her eyes and let the tears fall silently from her eyes, as Buffy turned to leave, she heard a soft "I'm sorry" turning back to face her neighbour, she saw Darla wiping furiously at her eyes "I, uh… I am sorry Buffy" when she quirked an eyebrow at her she continued "for trying to ruin what you have with Angel"
Not wanting to interrupt this long-awaited surprise apology, Buffy just tipped her head for her to continue "I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness, it's silly. I always went after the attention of other men, not because I didn't love my husband, I do love him so much… but I tried my best to make him leave me… I didn't and I still don't feel worthy of his love and thought it would be easier if he hated me"
Along with the surprise apology, another surprise of genuinely feeling bad for her washed over Buffy like a hot wave. Never lacking in empathy, nor her need to be nice, the urge to wrap her arms around Darla and promise her that everything would work out was pounding in her mind. All she could muster was coming over, close enough to rest her hand on her shoulder and give her a knowing look.
This time a genuine smile, no matter how small, barely registering, came across Darla's face. Without saying anything else, Buffy waved as she reached the door then slipped quietly out of their house and back to her own. She really meant it, the extending of an olive branch, although she still had some unkind feelings towards her, she knew what it was like to feel isolated and have no one that she felt she could open up to without the worry of disappointing them.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The day of Angels birthday they had breakfast together then went a walk through the park, stopping to enjoy the sun and show Liam the ducks in the pond, then finally had a family meal with her mom and sister joining them. Having eventually set plans in motion, Buffy arranged for Liam to spend the night with Willow, Oz and Ava, so that her and Angel could take a trip up the coast to a private beach house for his birthday.
The next morning, they stopped by their friends' house to drop off their son once he had been bathed and dressed for the day, Buffy ran through their schedule that they tried their best to stick to, hoping that it wouldn't put too much of a kink in their routine. Willow nodded and placed the chart on the fridge, her parenting style was laxer compared to Buffy's, although they had some routine, they didn't have everything down to the hour as to when and what they should be doing.
As they were heading for the door, Buffy turned once more "Oh and Will?"
Before being able to say anything further Willow gave her a fake scowl and laughed "Liam will be fine, I have all the numbers, I have all the lists, it's not like I'm just going to leave him in the back yard to fend for himself" with a raise of her eyebrow she folded her arms across her chest.
Biting her lip in embarrassment, Buffy nodded. She knew Willow was more than capable of looking after her son, hell, she became a mother before her, and Ava was a picture of health and loved so very much. However, this was the first time that she had agreed to more than a few hours away from him, as much as she loved her mom, she had only let Joyce watch him for half a day and that was for a medical appointment she had to attend.
Angel kissed the top of her head and smiled warmly "Let's get going, best to make it there before the evening rush" he felt Buffy nod and turned his attention back to Oz and his son, they were sitting on the sofa with Oz playing video games. Hitting pause on the controller, Oz made his way to the two of them so they could say their goodbyes.
Buffy felt the sting of tears in her eyes, she didn't realise how emotional this would be, it was only 24 hours, not weeks upon weeks that they would be leaving him for. She kissed her son's forehead and watched as Angel done the same "Thanks again for this…" Angel brought Willow into a one-armed hug then tipped his head towards Oz. Without another word, he linked his fingers with Buffy's and took her by the hand towards his car, otherwise they would be there for another hour or two.
Willow waved from the doorstep and smiled widely "Have fun! And don't do anything I wouldn't do!" taking a moment to think, she laughed then blushed with embarrassment by her thoughts. Angel waved to her one last time as he started the engine and headed towards the edge of town.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
After an hour or so on the road, the only noise came from the radio, Buffy sighed then looked out of the window "We can always go back, especially if you're not ready" she looked back to Angel with wide eyes and shook her head "Buff, we can reschedule for another time"
Sitting up properly in the seat Buffy let out a chuckle "No, it's for your birthday. I'm fine, really!" this time she gave him a genuine smile and ran her fingers teasingly over his jean clad thigh. With a groan, Angel focussed back on the road then shook his head. She knew he had a hard time concentrating when she started playing coy yet wanted to tease the life out of him "…Buff"
She ran her fingertip from his thigh, over to his crotch and flattened her hand over his bulge before cupping him softly. He shifted in his position to try and guide her hand elsewhere, luckily, she relented and slid her hand back to his thigh and rested her head as best she could on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. Thankfully the rest of the journey flew in, and they reached the beach house safely.
They unpacked their bags and ate the small lunch that he had packed this morning for them before heading down to the beach to laze about in the sun. When the sun peaked in the sky Buffy headed towards the ocean and walked her way slowly into the cold water, hoping to cool her body down.
From afar, Angel watched as she made her way carefully into the water and admired her, the glow in her skin and the confidence that she had lost towards the end of her pregnancy was back. No matter how she looked, he knew he would always have eyes for her, her dainty figure now had softened but she was always beautiful. Getting up from the towel he had been lying on, he made his way down to the water to join her, he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his chest as he kissed her neck.
Buffy tilted her head further so that he had full access to her slender throat and breathed out a moan "Angel…" he stopped for a moment to raise his eyebrow at her, making her laugh "Later, I promise" she saw the fake annoyance on his face and swatted his shoulder before breaking free from his grip and splashed him with water. laughing loudly, he done the same back to her before they swam further out into the ocean and melted against each other as he kissed her deeply.
By late afternoon they had dried themselves off, packed up their beach items and headed back to the house for a quick shower before heading out for dinner at a bistro down the boardwalk that they had reserved a table at. The dinner was impeccable, the wine that was paired with their meal added to the experience and before they knew it, they were stumbling over the door to their rental and giggling, having drank almost two full bottles of Malbec whilst they were out.
Angel kicked the door closed with his boot and spun Buffy around, pushing her back up against the door as his mouth settled hungrily on hers. Moaning loudly, she dropped the keys onto the floor and caressed his chest through the fabric of his shirt as his tongue dashed out to the seam of her lips.
They smirked against each other as she opened her mouth for his tongue to slide lazily in and duel with hers. That tingle, that burning desire radiated from her, she rubbed her thighs together and moaned again "Angel, please"
He ground himself against her and ran his thumb over her pouty lips as he whispered "Please, what?" he placed a teasing kiss on her lips before working his way down her neck, as one hand hitched up the fabric of her dress and slide up towards her panties.
Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his digits rub her through the cotton, he pressed harder and smirked against her neck when he felt her hips rock against his fingers. She grabbed his head and brought it back up to hers and crushed her lips against his only to break away long enough to tell him that the door needed locked.
With a chuckle Angel dropped to his knees and slid her panties down her thighs so she could step out of them. Her hands gripped onto his shoulders as he pushed the dress back up and swiped his tongue against her core, Buffy almost buckled as he ran his tongue up and down then traced a fingertip up her thigh until he reached her centre and teased her "…Angel" her breathy moan spurred him on.
Working her up, he waited till the last moment before pulling away and picking up the keys, when she groaned and almost stomped her foot, he chuckled and jangled the keys at her "Got to lock the door…" he stood back up again and slide the key in the lock and turned it as he gave her a quick kiss.
Grabbing his hand, she strode up the stairs towards the bedroom before letting him go long enough to pull her dress over her head, not wanting to waste any more time. Angel smirked and began to unbutton his shirt and slid if off his shoulders, before he had time to reach the belt on his slacks, Buffy had already begun to unbuckle and unzip him.
With a groan Angel lifted Buffy up and walked the few short steps towards the bed and carefully threw her onto the centre. Her eyes were sparkling in the moonlight from outside and her lashes fluttered as he lay beside her on the bed. Without saying anything Buffy guided his head towards hers so she could kiss him.
Rather than diving right in, he wanted to tease her further. His free hand traced down her stomach and thighs with a whisper light touch, he swooped over to her centre, adding a little bit of pressure but didn't touch her where she really wanted too. Her hips rose from the bed as each touch tingled her skin, hoping he would take pity on her.
Panting, Buffy trailed kisses up his neck and suckled on his earlobe, knowing that was one of his weak spots "Angel…" his chocolate eyes met with hers as he rolled them over, so he was lying on his back and held her above his cock. She braced her hands on his chest and quirked her eyebrow at him, he took that moment to thrust into her, completely filling her, making her gasp.
In the past four or so months, they had only been intimate a couple of times, once given the go ahead from her doctor, they had been gentle, it was like he was afraid to hurt her. The only other time he let wild abandon take over was that night of the incident, again, he had set a slow and deep pace, of course she loved that but with the wine egging her on, she rocked her hips quicker against his, hoping he would take the hint.
A guttural growl came from deep within his chest as he thrust up deeper and quickened his pace, his large hands circled her hips and aided her in riding him furiously. Buffy almost blushed as she heard herself moaning louder, almost to the point of screaming, when she dared look at him, she saw his pupils dilate until they were almost black.
Angel slid his hands up around her torso and rolled them over, so she was now on her back, bringing her legs up and over his shoulders. He kissed her deeply as he began to thrust deeper into her then broke away as he felt her tensing, wanting to see her orgasm wash over her beautiful face.
As Buffy's eyes flickered shut, overcome with pleasure, endorphins and love, Angel thrust twice more into her and moaned just as loud as she had when he came. Closing his own eyes, he gently laid his forehead against her chest and let her legs fall back to the bed.
Resting on his forearms, so not to crush her, Angel felt the strain in them as he slowly came back round from his intense orgasm. Falling over to the side, he kept on arm across her stomach and puffed out a laugh, hoping his heartbeat would return to normal.
Buffy's eyes were still closed, she bit her lip and smiled when she felt his warm eyes land on her face, drinking in her expression "hmm…" without opening her eyes, she reached for his hand and moved it lower down her taut stomach and came to a stop just below her naval.
"You couldn't possibly want…"
With a laugh Buffy shook her head then batted his hand away, she was spent, pleasantly numb, but each swipe of his fingertips on her tingled her skin and had stirred her drunken mind into wanting more… but she was exhausted. Without saying anything else, they both rolled onto their sides, his arm still curved over her, holding her tight as they succumbed to sleep.