Chapter 28: 'He' Has Appeared! And Captain Falcon Gets to Race!
At the meeting room of the priests…
"It's almost a month since the grand prix has officially begun," says Carolla, the director of the GP. "And 'he' hasn't showed up at all."
"Don't relax yet, director," says Carlos. "You know what kind of a person he is and he may be secretly watching over us now."
"Yes, I'm aware of that. But it's strange how he isn't planning on any action. 300 years ago and he showed up almost without a word and went for Carma immediately, and thus creating a huge chaos. We must make sure that this does not happen again. And by the way, where is Jason?"
The priests look around and notice Jason not among them. "He's been missing for a week already," says a priest. "We have no word about him after that."
"Where could he have gone?"
"Not the slightest idea."
"Anyway, that's it for the meeting," says Carolla as he stands up. "Now let us continue with the race. We must keep this meeting a secret and do not let anyone know about it."
-
Meanwhile, at a 4-story tall café, on the fourth floor… The café isn't all that fancy, and why it has four floors I don't know. Who cares?
A big, tough man is playing cards with a woman in her early 20s. She has light brown and a bit wavy hair with a length that goes past the shoulder a bit, she wears a vest that reveals quite a cleavage, and not to mention a very short mini-skirt.
"Ha! You lose!" says the man. "You're not a good player after all, lady!" The man reaches his hand across the table to claim the money, but they the woman grabs him by the hand. "Hey!"
"You cheated," she says.
"What? I didn't cheat at all! What right do you have to say that I cheated?"
The woman looks up and turns to a couple of other girls at a table across the café room. "Hey girls, this guy cheated, right?"
"Yes he did, madam!" they all reply.
"What! You gals are crazy! I never cheated!" says the man. "I played fair and square! I never cheat on games!"
"Are you sure?"
Suddenly, the man fell forward and lands his face in between her cleavage.
"Oh my, you're a pervert," she says.
"Wha! But I didn't…" But before the man can finish speaking, the woman pulls him off and slaps him hard in the face, followed by kicking him hard in the chest. The man flies into the wall and smashes through it.
-
Outside the café, Sweet Tooth is at his ice cream stand selling frozen treats again. "Buy 2 get 1 free!" he calls out. "They're delicious!"
Kirby and Yoshi are in line waiting to buy the ice cream, and Captain Falcon is window-shopping not too far from them.
Suddenly, the man falls down from above and lands on top of the stand, crushing it.
BANG!
"Hey! What do you think you're doing!" yells Sweet Tooth. "You'll pay!"
Everyone looks up at the café and sees a large whole on the top floor, and they can see the woman standing there. "That should teach you a lesson," says the woman.
"Whoa… Did that hot gal knocked this guy down?" says a passerby.
"I believe so," says his friend. "I remember her name Lassie. She is the leader of a band of female rogues who are always claiming that girls are superior to boys."
"Tsk! What senseless violence…" says CF as he begins to walk away, not wanting to get into more of these.
"Ice cream…" moan Kirby and Yoshi sadly as they walk away with him, as the stand is crushed and so no more ice cream.
Then Lassie hears a beeping sound, and she reaches her hand in between her cleavage and takes out a certificate.
-
Meanwhile, CF also hears a sound, and he takes out his certificate, and then yells out loudly, "YES!"
"What's wrong?" asks Yoshi.
"Got a race?" asks Kirby.
"You bet! I'm so happy I could cry!" says CF excitedly. "This is my first race, and I've waited so long!"
"Good for you!"
"What's the course name?" asks Yoshi.
"Let me see… Toy Land," says CF.
"Toy Land? Sounds like a fun place!"
"I don't care what place I'm racing in, as long as I can win first place!"
Ness comes up to him and asks, "What's the excitement about?"
CF shows him the certificate. "See? I'm in the race!"
"Toy Land? It so happens…" Ness pulls out his certificate also. "I'm in this same race too…"
"This is your second race? But it's only my first!"
"Pokey is getting his first race here. He's also in this course. I'm not sure what kind of dirty trick he'll pull out again though…"
-
Back in the previous place…
Some guys walk up to the smashed ice cream cart and see the big, tough guy unconsciously lying there. "Oh no! What happened to Big Boy?" asks one of them. "Who could have beaten him up like this? Let's take him to the doctor quick!"
Up on the 4th floor of the café, Lassie heard them talking outside. She stood up from her seat and goes over to the hole on the wall. She looks down and sees that those guys are taking Big Boy away. She stretches out her hand and spreads her finger wide, pointing her palm in their direction.
-
A couple of the Smashers are walking around elsewhere, talking about some stuff.
"So Falcon finally got his chance to race, eh?" asks Fox. "I hope him good luck! He's been waiting for this forever!"
"I wonder why it took him so long either?" asks Dr. Mario.
"Not too surprising, as there are some people here who haven't get to race yet!" mentions Falco.
"Ness is in this race too," adds Fox.
"I can just imagine how things will turn out…" says Dr. Mario.
Suddenly, they hear some noisy sounds of banging and crashing. After a while, it finally stops. "Huh? What was that?" asks Dr. Mario.
"It came from the west side of the city!" says Falco.
The 3 run to that place and soon come to the front of the 4-story café. There, they see the whole street all messed up. Signs and lampposts were torn out from their place and are placed in different places. For example, one lamppost was seen rooted onto a building wall instead of on the floor. The guys who were carrying Bob to see a doctor are now passed out all over the place, and some even crashed into buildings.
"Whoa! What happened here?" asks Falco.
"It was Lassie's doing!" says some passerby. "She's… she's… got an amazing ability!"
"How on earth did she do something like that?" asks Dr. Mario.
"They say she is a Devil Fruit user!"
"Shouldn't the person who did this get fined for vandalism?" asks Fox.
"They left already. Even if the police did come, I'm not too sure if they can handle her or not. It's almost impossible to go near her!"
-
That night, at the hotel room…
CF is lying on his bed while his other two roommates, Fox and Falco, are asleep. The race tomorrow is making him excited, and it is preventing him from sleeping. It's his first race of the finals after all. "I will try my best," he says to himself. "I will complete what my father didn't 30 years ago. I will also get back at Black Shadow for what he has done!"
"Falcon… Can you please just sleep…?" mumbles the half-awake Fox.
"Oh, sorry for disturbing you."
-
On top of a building, a lone person stands there, overlooking the night city. "How nostalgic… It's been a long time since I came here, and things have changed a lot," says the mysterious person. "Everyone is desperate to win the race and meet Carma, but they will all come to naught. But fear not, I will give hope to those who lost miserably."
"You… You're here…" says Carlos, who happens to be passing by this place.
"So you have showed up," says Truk.
The person turns around and looks at them. "So the priests are here, eh? Trying to stop me?"
"Have you not learn your lesson 300 years ago?" asks Carlos. "Are you trying to bring up havoc again?"
"I hate to hide the truth from you, but yes. I am going to claim Carma for myself, just like 300 years ago."
"We will not allow you to do that!" says Truk as he gets into offensive position. "Get ready to face your doom here!"
Carlos stretches out his hand in front of Truk to stop him. "Don't! He is too powerful! There is no way we can defeat him together!"
"Argh!"
"Your friend is right. Directly attacking me means suicide, and I will not hesitate to kill you two either. But I will let things pass for now. Don't worry; I am not going to cause havoc anytime yet. I am going to gather more forces that will be useful to me before I start my job. You can go on and relax until that time comes!"
"How dare you!" says Truk angrily.
"You cannot stop me. I have learned from my mistake 300 years ago, and that is do not create chaos so suddenly and recklessly. I have learned that I should use wise tactics and smart planning. Surely I will succeed this time! Hahahahaha!" After saying these, the mysterious person raises his arm and a blinding flash engulfs him, and he disappears.
"You have not learned from your evil ways at all, Deathborn!" says Carlos.
-
The next morning, at the hotel café…
"So Little Falcon is in the race, right?" asks Bon Clay.
"Yes he is," replies Falco. "Um, wait… Little Falcon?"
"That's the nickname I gave him! Sounds neat, eh?"
"Uh…"
Bon Clay turns around to his followers and says, "My dear subordinates! We will assist Little Falcon in this race! He wants to win first place, so let us help him win first place!"
"Yes, Mr. 2 Bon Clay!" they all say.
"They're weird people…" says Peach.
"I didn't know this world has so many strange people," says Pit.
"But they're funny at times too!" says Pichu.
-
Captain Falcon is in the public garage, fixing his car and giving it some washing. Samurai Goroh comes up to him and asks, "Got your first race, eh?"
"Yeah, so what about it?"
"I was beginning to wonder if you were in this race to begin with, since you didn't race at all. But now I see you are in. I hope you put effort into it, so we can race each other in the finals!"
"You bet I will make it! I'm afraid you're the one who won't make it!"
"That's not like me! Surely I'll make it the finals! Let's look forward to racing each other!" With this, Goroh left CF alone to work on the car.
Meanwhile, Fox is upgrading Ness's bicycle. "I've done the upgrading!" says Fox.
"Cool! What can it do now?" asks Ness.
"I've strengthen the spring boosts; you can now jump higher than before. I've also added Boost Fire."
"What does it do?"
"It gives you a temporary extra burst of speed. But be careful not to use it more than 2 times. Using it the third time may cause some engine problem, and I can't guarantee you a safe ride if you use it the 3rd time."
"Don't worry; I won't!"
"Well! If it isn't my eternal, annoying rival!" says a familiar voice. "You're still playing around with that measly bike of yours?"
"Pokey!" says Ness.
Pokey is standing next to a large, black, cool-looking vehicle with that resembles a spider. "Ha! I've upgraded my Motor Tricycle all the way into what I call the Devil Runner!" he says. "Not only is it capable of running over 200 mph, but it is also equipped with all kinds of weaponry! It will blast everything to bits for sure!"
"Sounds like a dangerous thing…"
"Of course it has to be dangerous! That's how this race is to begin with! The more dangerous you are, the better the chances of winning!"
"I'm not interested in your silly inventions, Pokey. I just want to race without anyone bothering me. But if you insist on bothering, then I will bother you back."
"That's just what I want to do, bother you!"
Then they hear an announcement coming from the speakers. "Attention all racers: The race will begin in a few minutes. Please take your vehicles and proceed to the Transportation Building. We will teleport you to Toy Land immediately."
"It's time," says CF.
"Go for it, Ness!" says Fox. "Show them what this thing is capable of!"
"I'm going to show them for sure!" says Ness.
-
Meanwhile, the audiences proceed to the theater. "Actually, I wouldn't have want to come," says Peach. "I would rather go shopping. But Falcon insisted that everyone should watch his first place, so…"
"Well, we should give him in," says Zelda. "He hasn't had a race until now!"
"Right, and I actually feel good for him!" says Bowser. Then he accidentally steps on a dog's tail.
The dog yelps from the pain and glares at Bowser angrily and growls.
"Sorry, doggy…"
But the dog just growls even fiercer.
"I said sorry already!"
The dog opens its mouth and bares its razor sharp teeth and barks loudly.
"I told you I'm sorry for stepping on you!"
Without saying a word, the dog leaps up at Bowser. "Bowser, watch out!" cries Peach.
BANG! POW! SMASH! WHAM!
The dog collapses onto the floor, bloodied and beaten up beyond recognition. "Stupid dog!" says Bowser as he dusts his hands. "How many times must I tell you that it was an accident?"
"You beat the dog to the point that I actually felt pity for it…" says Peach.
-
At Toy Land, all the racers are there. "Oh boy! My second race!" says Barney happily. "And just the kind of place I want to be in!"
"What is this place?" asks Ness, looking around. Toy Land, as the name suggests, is filled with toys all over the place. The whole place is also decorated with pink wallpapers and other cheerful stuffs. It looks just like little children's playground.
"Welcome to the race in Toy Land!" says Repeata. "I, the younger brother of Talko who was the announcer for the previous races, will be the announcer for this race that is held in Toy Land! As you can tell from the name, this place, Toy Land, which is the course for this race, is filled with toys, just as its name, Toy Land, which is the course for this race, suggests. That doesn't mean this will be a safe course. Toy Land, which is the name of this course, can be filled with booby traps and you might get into trouble if you're not careful!"
"Ha! I'm not afraid of anything!" says Pokey with pride. "My Devil Runner is my greatest invention! See if these kiddy stuffs can get me!"
"Don't get too cocky," Ness tells him.
"Don't you dare lecture me!"
"Okay, without further ado, we shall begin the race which is held in Toy Land, which is the name of this course!"
"Hurry up and begin!" says Lassie, annoyed. "Sheesh, men are so annoying!" This caused some of the male racers to give glares at her.
Repeata holds up a colorful gun and begins the countdown, and then pulls the trigger, which causes the gun to shoot out… water. But even without him telling, the racers drive off!
ZOOM!
"They're off! I, the younger brother of Talko who was the announcer for the previous races, will follow them in my Super Mini-Jet!" He hops into the usual plane and flies off at high speed.
-
"They're off!" says Mario.
"Who do you think will win?" asks Pikachu.
"I want Ness to win, but I'm afraid Captain Falcon will prove a bit too hard for him," says Young Link.
-
CF, not surprising enough, is in lead, but with lots of opponents trying hard to catch up with him. One fierce opponent, Zoda, is recklessly driving back and forth, crashing down several other racers. "Out of my way!" yells Zoda. "I'm going to win this race!" He drives up to a racer and crashes against his car violently.
"Hey! Stop that!" yells the racer.
"Hahaha! Die!" Zoda slams into the racer one more time and causes him to slide off course.
"AHHHH!"
"Hahahaha! I'm going to destroy everyone and claim first place!" laughs Zoda.
"Looks like we have a king of destruction in this race!" says Repeata. "Will Zoda eliminate all other racers or not? Now let's see what is in store for them next?" Repeata takes out a map and looks at it. "Hmmm… The next obstacle course of this race that is in Toy Land, which is the name of this course, is the Toy Soldier Camp."
As CF drives, he sees several toy soldiers in front of the road. "What are those?" he wonders.
-
Somewhere in the back row…
"Bombs away!" shouts Pokey. He pushes a button and the back part of his vehicle opens and shoots several explosives into the air. The explosives fall back down all around and cause massive explosions, blasting nearby racers into oblivion. "Ha! Feel the power of the devil!"
Ness is not too far in front of him. "Boy, that Pokey sure is dangerous," he says to himself. "I must stay far from him.
-
CF has now entered the Toy Soldier Camp. Lined up along the sides of the path are several toy soldiers and all of them are wielding rifles. Then the toy soldiers slowly lower their rifles and point them at the course, and they shoot out cork bullets. "Whoa! So that's what they are for!" says CF. "But there's no way they can hit me!" Right, because CF has his cockpit over him so he doesn't get it. Even the glass is hard enough to withstand it.
Zoda drives into the area and his Death Anchor car is pummeled by several cork bullets. "Annoying things!" he yells. He drives to the side and crashes down a whole row of toy soldiers.
These cork bullets are actually very strong. One racer has his car hit several times and many holes are punched into it! One racer even got hit in the head and passed out, and the car crashes.
A cork bullet is shot at Lassie. Oh, and in case you want to know, she drives in a pretty pink sport car. Anyway, back to the topic… She quickly pulls her head back just as the cork bullet whizzes pass her. But instead of just flying pass her, the bullet begins traveling around her in circles! "Boy, that was close," she says. "Who came up with a silly idea of putting up these?"
Ness is behind her, and he is also busy avoiding the bullets. When one is about to hit him, he quickly uses telekinesis to deflect it. However, he is more interested in why there are corks orbiting about Lassie. "Huh… How does she do that…?" he wonders. And then he got hit in the body by a cork. "Ow! I have to do something about this! PK Fire!" He shot out a spark and hits one of the soldiers, and the spark explodes into a column of fire which burns down the other toy soldiers also.
Barney is having an easy time here, because his Lego Car formed a shield all around him, so he won't get hit.
-
"There are about 23 people in the race that is held here in Toy Land, which is the name of this course," says Repeata. "Coming up next is the Animal Street! It is where wooden cutouts of animals move back and forth on a stick that is moving on the ground. Can they make it pass without crashing into anything? Not that it's against the rules to hit them though."
CF is still in first place, with Zoda behind him. "Captain Falcon! I will not let you take my place!" yells Zoda. But CF ignores him.
CF soon sees several wooden cutouts of animals moving left to right. "There must be some kind of trap in those," he thought. "I should avoid hitting any of them." He drives into the area and tries his best to drive pass the cutouts without touching them, fearing that it might trigger something.
However, Zoda did the opposite. He zooms straight ahead and crashes down any cutout in front of him.
CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!
"Hahahaha! No wooden animals is going to stop me!" he says.
"He's catching up with me!" gasps CF. He quickly zooms forward, not caring whether he hits any cutouts or not.
-
"How can they hurt those animals?" says Pit. "That is so cruel!"
"Pit, those animals are only wooden boards… They're not real," YL tells him.
"They are? No wonder I don't see blood when they got smashed into pieces…"
"You still have quite a lot to learn about this world," says Mewtwo.
-
CF keeps on driving to prevent Zoda from catching up with him. Soon, he comes upon a grumpy-looking clown who is holding a sign that writes, "You must make me laugh before you can pass. That's if you can even make me smile."
"So all I have to do is make you laugh and that's all?" asks CF. The clown replies with a simple nod. "Well… Let me tell you this joke.
"The teacher tells this boy that he should learn his math. So the boy went home and asks his mother a math question. 'How much is 123 + 456, mom?' he asks.
"However, the mother is very busy, and she says, 'Go away!' So the boy goes to ask his father the same question.
"His father was doing office work, and because he is busy, all he replied was, 'Yeah yeah…' So the boy goes to asks his brother.
"The brother is watching a cool TV program, and because he is too excited about it, he replies, 'All right!'
"The next day, the boy went back to school and the teacher asks him what is 123 + 456. The boy replies, 'Go away!'
"The teacher is offended and asks why he says this, and the boy replied, 'Yeah, yeah.'
"The teacher is really angry now, and he says the boy should go to office, and the boy replies, 'All right!'
"So… Do you find it funny?" asks CF after finishing the joke. But the clown just remains grumpy and not smiling. "Um… Hello?"
The Death Anchor pulls up here and Zoda steps down. "Making him laugh? This is more than easy! Let me show you!" Zoda goes over to the clown and tickles him, making him laugh.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughs the clown.
"Ha! You see? It worked! I'm off!" Zoda hops back into his car and drives off.
"You cheap bastard!" the clown shouts at him.
Then CF proceeds to tickle him, but the clown didn't laugh and says, "The same trick won't work on me twice!"
Then Lassie shows up. "Oh, so you want a good laugh?" She gets down her car and walks up close to the clown and huddle close to him. "Well, big boy, how do you like it?" she says in a sexy tone. She then proceeds to seduce him with all kind of erotic way like… You get the picture…
"Eh… heh heh…" chuckles the clown while blushing.
"So you laughed! Now I can go!" Lassie hops back onto her car and drives off.
"Hmph! If I was a girl, then I would do it also!" says CF. "Now how do I make you laugh?"
Then Ness shows up and says, "Make you laugh… I know! I'll tickle you!"
"No! The same trick won't work on me twice!" yells the grumpy clown.
Barney shows up next and says, "I'm the best at making people laugh! I'll show you my lovely little dance!" Barney got down from his car and begin dancing in a silly manner, and then he trips and falls onto the floor.
"Ha ha! You're a funny fellow," laughs the clown.
"Yippee! You laughed! I'm off!" Barney then drives off.
"Argh! What can I do?" says CF.
Then Pokey shows up and next and says, "So you wanna laugh, eh? I'll show you how to laugh!" Pokey gets down his car, but he accidentally slips and falls face first onto the floor, and his pant got stuck on the side of the door, pulling down his pants in the process and showing his butt.
"Ha ha ha! Look at that!" laughs the clown while pointing at Pokey's butt.
"Huh? You laughed? What have I done?" asks Pokey. "Anyway, I'm off!" He gets back onto his car and drives off.
CF and Ness look at each other. "What do we do now?" asks Ness.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Well, how do you like it? I'm trying to make this race as funny as possible, so I hope you like it!
Lassie is my OC. Try to picture how she looks like through the descriptions in the story. I won't be revealing what Devil Fruit ability she has anytime soon. Try to guess what it is from what you read so far.
And finally, 'he' is Deathborn, the villain of F-Zero GX, all along. Originally, I planned for it to be Black Shadow, but changed my mind. How is Deathborn planning to claim Carma for himself? And what does he mean giving hope to the losers? You'll have to find out later in the story!
So review, my fans!
Coming up next chapter: Get This Item Before You Pass! The Friendship of the Okama Fights For You!