BEHIND THAT DOOR
By dahhlingg
Author's Note: This is my very first Harry Potter fanfic! Im still quite noob at this and to tell the truth I haven't read the books yet but I do know some background info. Its b SLASH, AU, HARRY/DRACO PARIRING and MPREG if I ever get to the end /b . so please don't read it if you're not comfortable with this. Its your prerogative to read this and its my prerogative to write this.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately none of the characters belong to me, not matter how much I yearn for it. Ah wells.
Let the story begin!
" I sit and watch the rain"
Harry looked out of the window in his room at Hogwarts. The sky was cast over, and rain just began to fall al over Hogwarts. His eyes were empty, devoid of any emotion. It was as if there was no spirit within him, as if he was just a shell, loveless, lifeless, and meaningless.
" And see my tears run down the windowpane"
The rain fell in sync with Harry's own tears. The rain grew heavier and heavier, and more rain drops were beating onto Harry's window. His tears followed thus.
He was in an unspoken form of depression. His life was not what he wanted. To many, he had a lot. He was in his senior year, dubbed as The Boy Who Lived, he was a top Quidditch player, and he had much of what others could only dream of. Still. He was empty. He didn't feel any meaning in his life. What was he living for? He didn't have love. He never felt loved. He didn't know what love felt like. He'd stop loving for a long time now. Not that it was really love anyway. Wasn't love supposed to be a feeling felt by both. He gave, but his love was never returned. He used to love his uncle. But what did he do?
"He beat me up," he thought bitterly.
He met his two best friends when he first entered Hogwarts, Hermione and Ron. He did love them. They were his best friends! Recently, they only had eyes for each other. They were madly in love and it seemed that everyone else ceased to exist, including Harry. He didn't blame them, but now he felt more alone than ever.
He could only fault himself for not asking a girl out. Sure there was Cho at 4th year, but that was only a moment of infatuation. And he didn't feel the strong urge to actually ask her out. He had a few crushes after, but he didn't feel inclined to take the initiative.
"Perhaps im a weirdo who can't love and just isn't meant for love in this world," he joked silently.
His mind drifted off to his life. The emptiness within him. It was so cold and dark, and it was consuming him literally. Smiling seemed nearly impossible now. He longed for someone to hug him, to love him, to kiss him, to fill him up. He was a God damned teenager! He had raging hormones too. He had sexual desires. But there was no one to fulfill them but himself.
"Someone to take me, spread me out wide, and take me into their mouth, and maybe, enter me."
He blushed at that thought. So he finally accepted that he was a damn gay. He longed to feel alive. For once in his life. He longed for someone to take the pain away, to put a sun into his life.
The rain was at its peak now. It poured, and Harry poured with it too. He cried out all his frustrations, even if it was just temporary. Then he thought of Draco. He was so pretty. No he was beautiful. He longed to be with Draco. He quite liked him. He dreamt of Draco in his bed, doing unimaginable things, but nice things. "This is so wrong! It's impossible." He felt sadder than ever. He couldn't have the one thing he wanted. He dried his tears quickly. It was almost dinnertime now. The last thing he wanted was a lecture from Professor Dumbledore on punctuality.
"Even if it means more loneliness at the dining table," he sighed in acceptance.
He put on his Griffindor robe and left the room to a noisy and bustling corridor, where everyone was getting ready to go to dinner. Unfortunately, no one knew about anything that happened behind that door.
Darlings be a dear and review! Since this is my very first, I suppose I will only continue if it turns out well.
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