Title: "Help Wanted"
By: Lexie Summary: Xander needs a new secretary and Buffy just happens to be available. Chaos ensues.
Disclaimer: I definitely don't own Buffy. If I did BX would have happened long long ago and would probably be married by now and there would have been at least two Xander's in every episode since there's twins that I could use. Two Xander's is always a good in my book. But anyways Fox, Mutant Enemy, UPN, and who ever else, owns everything Buffy related. Not me no matter how much I wish for two Xander's.
Rating: PGish
Category: Humor/Romance

This fic is dedicated to Shawn and Brooke.

A/N: Line break means changing of POVs and/or scenes.

"Help Wanted"

Later that day on Xander's side of the office.

Well so far the day had been nothing but one awkward moment to the next. Xander was now sitting on his side of the room at his desk trying to get comfortable in the most uncomfortable kitchen chair known to mankind. The bad thing was that the stiff chair wasn't the sole reason why he was so uncomfortable in his own office. The sole reason for the awkward atmosphere was currently seating across the room staring blankly into the air. He sometimes wondered what was going through her head, especially now after the bumbling morning that they had both had.

Somehow they had managed to go from suffocating silent treatment, to yelling and destroying doors, to sulking in their rooms and racing for showers, to babbling awkwardness, and now finally they were back to the silent treatment. All in less then 24 hours, too. Except now the silent treatment was different because it wasn't by choice. It was just a slow quiet torture that they were both helpless too because they just didn't know what to say or do to make things better. So now the morning was going by at a snail's pace and Xander felt like he was about to go crazy. He had to do something about this. They couldn't do this all day. He might have to run out and run in front of a bulldozer if it went on for much longer. This was just stupid to feel so awkward about an innocent bathroom mishap.

Xander thought back to earlier that day and the sudden surprise in the shower. Thinking back to a wide eyed and birthday suite clad Buffy. Xander cleared his throat and his head, as he shuffled the papers on his desk for the tenth time that morning. Yup, he had to fix this uneasy drift between he and Buffy. Just as soon as he could think of something to say or do and the most important, stop picturing her naked.

He should probably try to get some work done. Maybe he could even ask Buffy to make some copies to put in the project report file. Maybe then that would get the ball rolling and they could get out of this agonizing awkwardness. Of course that would be risking his files if he let Buffy put her destructive hands on it. He didn't know what he should do. He looked up at Buffy who was still staring blankly ahead. Had she even blinked in the last twenty minutes? What could she thinking about so intensely that was her off in her own world?

Same time on Buffy side of the room.

Buffy watched the water droplet slowly roll down his chest. It slinked over his right peck and continued on its southerly track. It then slid over his tight stomach; if she concentrated hard enough she could actually count the times the water crept over each of his ripped abs. It continued its roll down but curved around his navel and slide even further south. Buffy felt herself gulp. She wanted to reach out and catch the falling droplet and then trace its same smooth path back up north.

She looked up to his face. His hair was still damp and unruly. But it wasn't a bad unruly but an unruly that made her stomach drop. She now wanted to run her hands through his hair and feel the smooth dark locks glide between her fingers. She wanted to brush the hair that had fallen onto his brow back and then trace his jaw line with her fingers. She just wanted to do far too many things with far too little hands to do them with. Now he was saying something to her. She stared at his lips as they slowly moved over each syllable.

"Buffy?" he whispered out.

"Huh?" She breathlessly squeaked out.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"Uh Huh."

"Are you sure, you looked kinda flushed…Oh hey you're not about to barf are you?" he asked now in an alarmed tone.

Wait he wasn't supposed to say that, Buffy thought to herself. Buffy blinked and snapped back into the real world. Xander was staring at her with a worried look on his face. Where was she? What was happening? Xander had gone from slightly wet and naked too fully dry and clothed and now he was staring at her waiting for her answer. She sucked in a gulp of air and then started chocking from the sudden intake. Oh crap, she thought to herself.

As soon as she started coughing hard Xander was at her side in a second. He started patting her on her back trying to help her out. He was just kidding about the barfing thing, now he was a little afraid she might actually do it.

Buffy in the mean time was still having problems regulating her breathing. What was she thinking! Xander…naked. What was she doing? Buffy flashed back to the night before when Dawn had accused her of daydreaming about Xander. She thought back to what her little sister had said to her:

"So how many times a day do you dream about Xander smoochies?"

"What!" Buffy screeched out and turned towards her little sister looking at her as if she had just grown a second head.

"Oh. Maybe they are shirtless Xander smoochies…is he shirtless?"

She was going to kill her little sister for putting those thoughts in her head! Torture was coming soon to a certain Key in teenage form. She looked at Xander who was still rubbing lightly on her back while looking at her with concern in his eyes. Maybe she should stick her head between her knees. She had heard once that if you couldn't breathe right that would help. She tried picturing herself doing that but felt she would look a little weird so she nixed the idea out.

"Buff, are you okay?" he asked attentively as he knelt down beside her and absent-mindly put his hand lightly on her knee.

Buffy looked down at his hand on her knee and she stopped breathing all together. She jumped up suddenly needing to put some space in between them. He stood back up when she jumped up so quickly out of her chair. "Buffy?" But then her coughing spell came back with a vengeance.

"cough..Yup…cough…I'm good…cough…. just need…cough cough. …water." she chocked out as she stumbled her way to the sink in the small kitchen. She turned around and filled a glass with water. She didn't know what she was suppose to say to Xander so she had to buy herself some time while she figured things out. She took the glass of water and drank it in one long drag.

This was all her sister's fault. That was it. Dawn had planted those ideas in her head the night before and she just somehow started subconsciously daydreaming about them now. Damn her sneaky ways! Buffy could still feel Xander's concerned gaze upon her so she turned around with a nervous smile.

"ahem..All better now." She said as she patted herself on the chest.

"Are you sure?" Xander asked still a little worried.

"Yup!"

"Darn I thought I was going to get to give you CPR again." Xander joked but suddenly regretted his big mouth when he saw Buffy blush. Not the best way to help them get over awkward situations.

"Heh, maybe next time I'll try to fall and knock myself out on the corner of the desk, for you." She nervously laughed out.

"See that's what I like about you. Always aiming to please your boss!" he said to her and smiled. Well at least they were speaking to each other again. Now maybe they could put all this weirdness behind them, he thought to himself.

Little did he know that Buffy was actually thinking, Wow he said the same thing earlier in her daydream.

Later that afternoon.

At least things were better, Xander thought to himself. They went to lunch together and talked through most of the break. There were a few awkward pauses here and there but for the most part they both seemed over the whole shower incident from earlier. Buffy had also seemed to let the annoying dating tension thing drop and was no longer giving him the silent treatment or dirty little looks. Maybe now would be a good time to drop an apology for breaking off their movie night. Perhaps, even a good time to test the waters and see her reaction on things. She couldn't get mad at him again and try to maim him at work, would she? Xander pulled one of his desk drawer's open and looked inside. Good, both the scissors and letter opener were still in his desk and not hers. At least she couldn't come at him with those.

"Buff?"

"Hmm?" she said not even looking up from her magazine.

"About this whole date thing tonight. " He said cautiously while mentally preparing for any sudden outburst she might have. But the only thing she did was look at him with a blank face as she got up and headed towards the small refrigerator in the kitchen.

Xander wasn't exactly sure how to take her blank reaction so he carefully continued on. "It's…It's silly to fight over something like that right? I mean we are both adults and…we're friends… right?"

"Right" Buffy said casually. She still had her back to him as she was getting a bottle of water out. Of course they were still friends. What else would they be? She thought back to the night before and what Dawn had said about them already being in a relationship. But she quickly pushed those ideas out of her head as she closed her eyes and took a sip of her water.

"And…I'm sorry for… you know, having to skip out on you tonight, and for yesterday calling you immature…twice. Oh and for hiding your soap too." Xander said nervously while preparing to dive behind his desk should any kitchen appliances come flying his way.

Buffy turned around suddenly and pointed at him. "I knew that was you!"

"Heh, Yeah sorry about that. I didn't know that it would cause such a nakedly outcome. If I had known it would do all that than I would have, you know…..done it sooner." He teased her.

Buffy crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him while trying to hold back a smile. "Uh huh. Suuure your sorry."

Xander laughed. "I am, really! So we're cool now?"

"I guess…but you really owe me for sticking me up for Ms. Bimbo 2004." She said as she walked over to his desk.

"Who Candi?"

"Yes Candi! Also are you really sure she's not some demon, mummy, or bug lady trying to make you her next prey?" She was now standing in front of him looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Um well as far as I can tell the only thing she might be called is the daughter of Satan A.K.A Allen Johnston. She seems like a nice girl. I mean no hellmouthy vibes coming off of her so far, right?"

"You say that now but what will you be saying when I'm untying you from her demon-y torture chamber, huh?"

Xander didn't get a chance to respond before she was talking again but he noticed the door behind her open and closed but Buffy didn't seem to notice because she continued on. Xander's heart stopped though when he notice who the new visitor was.

"And…and besides who does she think she is getting her father to get her dates? I mean how pathetic is that? Oh and what kind of name is Candi? And don't even get me started on her hair. Can we say stuck in the 80's?"

Xander just stared at her with wide eyes. He was trying to shut her up by giving her pleading eyes telling her silently to stop talking but she wasn't getting his hints so he faked a cough.

"Water?" She asked simply while offering her bottle of water to him. But Xander just shook his head quickly no. So Buffy continued on.

"Oh plus! She's got really hairy arms and fat ear lobes. You're children'll look like werewolves!" Buffy told him like it was the most helpful tip.

Xander was still looking at her with wide eyes and was pretty sure he had stopped breathing about thirty seconds ago. Buffy finally paused and looked at him.

"What?" She asked innocently. "Oh wait is she standing behind me or something?" She asked with an evil smile. She then turned around to see a very pissed off looking Candi Johnston standing behind her. "Ooops" Buffy shrugged innocently but the smile on her face showed it was anything but innocent.

Candi stood there with her arms crossed as she watched Buffy walk back to her desk while smiling all the way. What was this wretched girl's name again? It was something weird.

Xander in the mean time had jumped up from his chair and started babbling trying to cover Buffy's tactlessness. "Uh Hi…Candi!…It's great to..uh..see you today!"

Candi though didn't seem to hear him because she was still staring holes into Buffy's head. This couldn't be good. He was going to kill Buffy later. She did that on purpose. She knew that his boss's daughter was standing right behind her. She was definitely going to pay for almost giving him a heart attack like this. He watched Candi as she slowly walked across the room until she was standing in between his and Buffy's desk. Xander swallowed hard and watched on nervously.

She turned to Xander again and smiled and said cheerily, "Hi Xander and…." She turned back to Buffy but her tone changed to a negative tone "Ummm…honey what's your name again?"

"Buffy" Buffy faked smiled.

"That's right! Buffy. I remember now because it was weird and it sounded a lot like barfy!" Candi faked smiled back. Buffy's smile dropped though.

"Yup, old Barfy here, she's a unique one!" Xander nervously laughed out a little to loudly. Candi turned back to Xander and giggled. Buffy though felt like showing this girl her barfy feelings.

"So Xand you're still going to be my official Sunnydale tour guide tonight, right?" she asked brightly.

"You betcha! Wouldn't miss that for the world. Although, really, there's not much to see here in good old Sunnydale. A stop light here and star bucks there and that's pretty much it."

"Well what's this place called the Bronze?"

"Yeah Xand why don't you take her to the bronze. That place should be well populated and lighted enough for you not to get abducted in." Buffy threw in sarcastically. Candi turned around and gave her a strange look.

"Ha ha! Buffy, always the kidder!" Xander nervously laughed out.

"Yes, Buffy, tell me what do girls…like you… do on Friday nights?" Candi asked condescendingly.

Buffy was about to say something about slaying evil and make a point to emphasize that she consider her evil but Xander butted in.

"Uh Buffy! Um…Why don't you make yourself useful now and go make double copies of these and then take one copy over to Jack outside so he can get an idea what he will be doing soon!" he decided it was time to put a stop to this showdown between the two girls before someone got hurt, most likely him. Buffy was doing all this on purpose and she was the one that had started it all. So he gathered a bunch of files on his desk, put them in a pile and dropped them onto Buffy's desk. That should teach her and keep her busy at the same time.

Buffy looked down at the stack of papers on her desk. He was giving her busy work! She looked back up at Xander and gave him a slayer glare. But he didn't budge.

"Aw, Xander, but your interrupting Buffy's important reading on…" Candi lifted Buffy's magazine that she had been previously reading and read the front cover."…. Medieval Weaponry of Today?" She asked looking up surprised and confused. Buffy just smiled at her, daring the girl to just ask her about it.

"Yes, well swords and crossbows can come later! So how about those copies, huh, Buff?"

Buffy gritted her teeth as she grabbed the stack up harshly and left her desk to go make the copies.

For the next 20 minutes Xander and Candi chatted nonchalantly about the weather, the new mall, and Sunnydale.

"So, Xander what time would you like to start our little Sunnydale exploration?" Candi asked.

Before Xander could answer a loud banging noise come from the filing room where Buffy was making copies. He and Candi both turned to look at the room where the noise was coming from but they couldn't see Buffy. Xander was suddenly worried about the copying machine. They heard more banging and from what they could hear it sounded like she was slamming the top of the copier down. It probably wasn't the best idea to leave Buffy alone with the copier, Xander thought to himself.

"Umm how about around 8 o'clock?" Xander said trying to draw Candi's attention away from the noisy filing room.

"Sound's great and who knows maybe after we explore Sunnydale we can do some different kind of exploring later on." Candi practically purred as she lightly ran her hand up Xander's forearm. That's when came a large bang from the filing room.

Xander just nervously laughed for what felt like the millionth time that day, he didn't know what to say to Candi's proposition or to the loud bashing noises coming from with in the small room. Was that the copier machine itself being slammed against the wall? After that Buffy walked straight out of the room and right pass Xander and Candi with out even looking at them or saying a word. Xander and Candi just watch in silence as Buffy stomped towards the door where she then opened the door, stepped out, and slammed the door so hard that the whole trailer shook from it's force.

Candi turned to Xander with raise eyebrows as if asking, what was her problem? All Xander could think to say was, "She's still kinda new here."

Buffy had to get out of there. She couldn't stand to be in the room with Candi drooling all over Xander like that. 'Explorations' yeah right, she'd liked to let her foot explore right up her skinny rich ass. And she definitely couldn't be in there to hear Xander's comebacks. If she had heard that she might live up to her barfy name.

Buffy continued her march across the construction site. She had to find this Jack guy and give them these stupid copies that she just spent 20 minutes slaving over. She wasn't even sure who this Jack guy was. Truthfully, other than Xander, she didn't know anyone else working at this site. Xander had introduced her to some of the men working there a couple of times, but she was never paying that much attention then since all she cared about knowing was Xander. And now she had to find this Jack guy in the huge complex, which was filled with sweaty hot construction men, that all looked alike to her. She did remember Xander talking about this Jack person and even mentioning once something about him being the only guy he could trust. But she didn't know what that meant. She just chalked it up as a guy thing. That whole Alpha male thing kicking in or something. She suspected that Jack must have been older if Xander respected him, so she just had to look for an older guy.

Buffy started looking around the site, but along the way she heard many cat calls and whistles. Since she couldn't really beat them down in broad daylight she would just have to ignore them as much as she could. She finally saw an older man at a stand looking over some rolled out plans.

"Um Jack?" She asked meekly.

"Yeah?" The older man said.

"Oh hey. Um Xander wanted me to give you these." She said while plopping down his set of copies over the plans he was looking at.

He looked down at them and looked confused. He didn't know what he was supposed to do with these, but if Xander sent them they must be of some importance. "Ummm, okay. Thanks." He looked back at them and noticed something odd about them. But then he noticed Buffy was still standing there, but she was now looking back at the trailer office she had just come out of. "Uh, Buffy right?" he asked.

"Yup! That's me." She said with out breaking her concentration on the office.

"You're the one going out with Xander, right?" He asked looking at the copies again, not really paying attention to what he was saying.

Buffy whipped around at that implication. "What! Me and Xander? Why do people keep saying that! Huh!" She prodded Jack who looked up surprised by the sudden outburst. "Xander and I are sooo not together. Yeah we spend a lot of time together. Yeah we slept together but that was one time! One! And the whole naked thing just happened this morning and it wasn't even my fault!"

Jack didn't know what to say to her sudden outbreak of too much information so he just held his hands up in surrender pose. "Umm, Okay. Whatever you say!"

Buffy felt a little bit awkward after her outburst. She probably shouldn't have said the naked or sleeping parts so loudly. "Well now that we are clear on that, I should probably head back to the office."

"Okay, thanks for the copies…" he looked back down at them. "…I think." But Buffy didn't hear him because she was already walking away now interested in watching Candi and Xander walk out of the office. She was so engrossed with Xander walking Candi to her car she didn't even hear all the cat calls at her this time.

Candi was obviously flirting with him. She was all in his personal space and giggly. Xander just seem to be blushing a lot. Buffy just rolled her eyes. She would be glad when this whole Candi phase was over. She couldn't believe the spoiled brat tried to imply that she had nothing to do tonight. And Xander just let her! She watched Candi lean up and kiss Xander lightly on the cheek before she got in her car. That's it! Buffy thought to herself. She didn't want to be the only one sitting at home alone tonight. If Xander can go out so can she!

She whipped around and pointed to the nearest guy she found. "Hey You!"

Barney was suddenly worried. He wasn't sure whom she was talking to. At first he just stared at her, but she continued to call him out. So he pointed to himself as if saying, who me?

"Yeah! You with the shovel! Come here!" Buffy ordered.

Uh oh, Barney thought to himself. He cautiously walked over to where Buffy was standing. "Umm I was just kidding around with the cat calls earlier, I didn't mean anything by them, I swear!" He blurted out when he got to her. But Buffy didn't seem to quite hear him because she was to busy concentrating on Xander and Candi again.

Buffy whipped around to him again. "So you wanna go out?"

"It was just an innocent ribbing I didn't…. Oh wait…what?" Barney asked confused.

"Tonight. Do you want to go out or not?" Buffy asked getting a little perturbed that this guy wasn't catching on quickly. It was a simple question.

"Oh…um… wait this isn't going to like get me fired or anything, right?" He asked worried. "Cause I thought you and Xander were…." He didn't get to finish the sentence before Buffy interrupted him.

"The only thing you will get you hurt, is if you finish that sentence!" Buffy told him quickly. "Xander and I are nothing! Nada. Zip. Complete opposite of…well something together! Xander is nothing in my books while he's seeing the walking plastic factory over there!"

Barney just raised his eyebrow at her. Buffy tried breathing deeply to calm her self and then plastered a big fake smile on her face. "So how about that date?"

Xander was back sitting at his desk in the office alone. Candi had just left and Buffy was still out of the office. Xander thought back to the Buffy/Candi show down earlier. Well that was fun, Xander sarcastically thought to himself.

Xander started pulling drawers open in his desk because the event was so much fun that he now needed to eat some Tums now. If he concentrated long enough he thought he could actually feel the ulcer growing in his stomach.

Just when he thought things were getting better between him and Buffy too. It really wasn't his day today. Once again the silent treatment would probably be enforced by Buffy. Now they were going to be back at square one. He sighed to himself as he popped a few Tums tablets into his mouth. Could things get any worse today?

Just then the office door opened and Buffy bounced in. Xander watched her as she walked by humming to herself. She must have noticed his eyes on her because she turned and gave him a smile as she walked by. Then she continued her jaunty little walk to her desk. Xander looked at her with a confused expression but then he turned back and looked at the door she just came through and then at her again.

"Pod Buffy?" He asked puzzled. This was unexpected. Where was the fuming Buffy? Where was the silent treatment? Where was the desk flying his way? She just walked through that door like she just went to get donuts. He expected much more slayer involved in this. Not merrily Buffy.

Buffy looked up at him and smiled with a raise eyebrow. "What?"

"Oh nothing…just…this isn't a trick is it? I mean your not waiting for me to put my guard down and then attack me, are you?" He asked still puzzled.

Buffy just laughed and smiled again. "No, crazy."

"Well good…I guess." He didn't know what to think of this Buffy. He thought for sure World War III was going to break out when she walked through that door. Now she was acting as if nothing had happened. Either that meant she was so incredibly mad that she had looped around to deliriously happy and it was only a matter of time before she blew or…well he didn't know what the other 'or' was. Except maybe that Hell had frozen over. Funny it didn't feel cold outside.

"So are you and Candi all set up for tonight?" Buffy asked nonchalantly.

"Oh um…Yup. We're all set. Coffee and then the Bronze."

"Oh really? Hmmm." She said simply.

Here we go, Xander thought to himself. Here's the real Buffy. "What Hmmm?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh nothing. Sounds like a nice night out." She smiled back at him.

Xander just narrowed his eyes at her. Okay at first he was confused by this much too passive Buffy. Now she was starting to freak him out a little. He liked it better when she was giving him the silent treatment; at least then he knew what she was thinking. Sure it wasn't good things about him, but at least he knew how to handle things then! "So…um… I'm sorry about the whole Barfy thing earlier. It just blurted out. You know me, the ole brain has a faulty connection to my mouth sometimes."

"Oh no problem." She said cheerfully.

Okay, Hell has frozen over; he should probably call Giles about this later. "Really?" He asked skeptically.

"Yeah, sure." She said without looking up at him while shoveling papers around on her desk.

"Okay, I give up. Who are you and what have you done with the real Buffy…Say, you haven't been hit by any magic split-you-in-two Toth sticks have you?"

Buffy laughed again. "What? Noo. It's just that I found at least one person on this site that doesn't associate my name with nausea."

"What?" he asked confused again.

"Oh well let's just say you're not the only one who is back in the dating game."

"What!" he said this time in a much more high pitched alarmed voice.

"Yeah, I have a date tonight too."

"What? How? What?" Xander screeched.

"How? Xander I know I've been out of the whole dating loop for a while now, but I think I know how to get a date. It was really easy too, just out side that door." She smiled. She was enjoying this immensely. This was much better than the silent treatment.

"Out there? Out there as in someone from my crew, out there!" Xander asked panicked while standing up from his chair.

"Yup!" She said brightly while standing up and gathering Xander's set of copies she did earlier. "Is there a problem, Xand?"

"Is there a problem?" he asked incredulously. "Problem?" He scoffed. Okay maybe he was over reacting just a tad bit. "Nooo, no problem at all." He laughed trying to downplay it but then stopped and asked panicked. "But who is it!"

Buffy smiled faltered a bit. Uh oh. She forgot to get his name. Crap! Crap! Crap it! She scowled to her inner self. It would probably be best if she knew the guy's name before she started dating him.

"Was it Mike? I saw him checking you out the other day…. that little back stabber." The last part was mostly mumbled to himself.

Buffy was thinking to herself that there was a chance that it might be Mike. He looked like he could be a Mike. But she wasn't sure. She didn't need to get this wrong. It might make her look bad. "Umm why don't I just show you?" she said while moving over to the window and raising the blinds up.

"Good idea." He wanted to see who this jerk was so he could remember him later. He wondered if he could just fire people on spot with out giving them any reasons at all.

"Oh there he is." Buffy pointed to two guys who were looking at plans. She then smiled up at Xander to see his reaction.

Xander bent down a little to get a better look out of the small window. Then he's eyes went wide… "You're going out on a date with Jack! He's married!"

"Oh god no Xander! Not Jack!… Him." She said while pointing out the window again.

Xander got closer to the window and put his hands on either side of it, trying to look around. He tried looking past Barney. Please God don't let it be Barney, he thought to himself. "Where?" he asked hoping to see someone else out there.

"There!" she said tapping on the glass but Xander was still looking to the left and right of Barney. "Xander, the guy in the red plaid shirt!"

Xander whipped around and Buffy thought his eyes were going to bulge out. "Barney!" he screeched out. "You're going out on a date with Barney!" he then turned back around to look at the construction worker again.

Barney? That was his name? He didn't look like a Barney. She was going out with a Barney? She made a small face but quickly covered it up. "Yup Barney! He's a nice guy that Barney! What's wrong Xand?…Oh, look Barney's waving!" She smiled and gave him a small wave back but she didn't think he saw it because Xander quickly yanked the blinds back shut. She jumped at the sudden snap of the blinds but then smiled to herself. Oh yeah this was much much better than the silent treatment.

He whipped back around to her. "You do know that you are going out with a guy who works at a construction site and is named Barney! Have you never seen the Flinstones? That's not a little too cliché for you!"

"What?" She scoffed. "Xander, don't be so judgmental!"

"Oh this coming from the girl who said I was going to have werewolf children earlier!" He said sarcastically.

The copies that Buffy was still holding crunched in her hand when her grip got a little bit tighter at his comment. Okay this wasn't so much fun anymore. But Xander continued on.

"I mean Barney! He's…he's…he's Barney!"

"Wow, really Xander, you don't say. Huh, I thought he was Elvis." She said sarcastically back.

"He's a womanizer and…. and a pig…. and he's just all Barney like! That's what he is! Why…Buffy… why would you do that!"

"What did you expect me to do? Stay at home all by myself? Xander, I'm not a loser! Oh! And I can get my own dates with out the help of close family members!" She said snidely.

"Oh yeah here we go! Welcome Back the Real Buffy!"

"What is that suppose to mean!" she asked astonished.

"Oh I don't know why don't you go out of the room and I will start talking badly about you and then you can come back in during the middle of it, and maybe then you can figure it all out!"

"Hey its not my fault Candi had to hear me speak the truth. I was probably doing her a favor…she really should work on her 80's hair."

"You're unbelievable!" he yelled.

"Me! What about you? Giving me busy work! What am I too you, Xander, a 7th grader!" She yelled back at him.

"Nooo more like a 4th grader with the way you were acting!"

"Uggggh! Well here's your stupid busy work!" She shoved the copies into his hands. "Why don't you shove them up your ass and when you do I hope you get paper cuts!" Then she walked to the door.

"Where are you going now!" He asked baffled.

"Home! Where I don't have to be around any crazed bosses!" She yelled back at him while she opened the door.

"How! You can't even drive!"

"Oh yeah! You wanna bet!" With that she held up to show him his keys to his Explorer and then slammed the door shut shaking the whole trailer for the second time that day.

Xander exhaled deeply and wondered if he should start filling out the insanity papers because of her but then looked down at the copies in his hands. They were all black and smudge and completely unreadable. He looked back up to where Buffy had just left and then started to count to 10 in his head.