Negan was exhausted. Physical therapy was really demanding after all. But he also felt drained mentally. He hadn't expected to barge into his room to seeing Rick struggling against a nightmare. Of course he didn't have the monopoly on those and he knew Rick had been through a lot of his own. He remembered the video from the camcorder after all. But seeing him haunted had brought back his own demons. He almost would have wanted to be able to take a pick on Rick's bad dreams if he didn't thought they could become his afterwards. Maybe he would then have found some answers to Rick's self-destructive behavior. So it had already took him quite some energy to just not stay frozen like a deer caught in a car's headlights and actually move towards the bed.

And one thing for sure, he hadn't expected for the leader of Alexandria to be such a pain in the ass at first. But he could feel something was wrong so he just champed at the bit and decided to see how the land lied. And as expected, mentioning Carl had made Rick closed like an oyster. Okay then, no more allusion to the boy for the day. Even if he was sure that whatever it was that was going on was linked to him, he didn't want Rick to stay inside his shell. So physical therapy would not have been his first choice to break the ice but seeing Rick so rigid had made him wonder if Carson's worries and his were justified. And even if Rick didn't seem to notice or wanted to hide it somehow, it was clear that his muscles were petrified. And well, what where the odds for Negan to have actual knowledge and practical experience on just what could help him?

Once again, memories had flooded his mind but he had succeeded to put them aside to focus on the present. Until Rick had asked him directly. And at first, he had wished he would have just deflected the question but his mouth had already started moving. Like it knew that it needed to get out of his chest. And then it was too late to backpedal. He had said too much or too little. And in Rick's eyes, he could have read what looked like genuine interest. He even said he was sorry for him, which he hadn't expected at all. Not because he didn't think that Rick would be sympathetic but because he didn't think he would ever share it with him.

And in the end, he had thought that being honest with Rick would allow them to build some bridges and establish an aura of trust. But Rick's last question about his true motivation had been so brutal that it seemed that everything they discussed before had simply been obliterated. So he had snapped and was not really proud of that fact. But even if he had then shared his reasons, he had seen that Rick hadn't believe him for a second. And he was never gonna admit it, but it hurt. But what hurt even more than his feelings being a little bruised was seeing Rick so defensive and so spent.

He was trying to take the hard way, to spare Rick the best he knew how. But he had to face it, it wasn't working. And if it continued on this path, he was afraid that Rick may try to harm himself once more. He then would have no other choice than to make Rick fold again to find out about his true motive.

Preparing himself on this new day, he took a deep breath and headed to his room still occupied by Rick. And all his good resolutions almost died immediately when he opened the door.

-"Good morning, sunsh... What the hell, Rick?

-Watch out, big bad Negan is in the place."

He knew that nickname was going around but he wondered where exactly Rick had heard it. Carson was not the type to gossip and use pet names.

-"Are you messing with me?

-What if I am? What are you gonna do about it?"

Negan clenched his teeth. He was not gonna play his game, that was for sure.

-"You didn't eat anything or even drink. You know what I said I would do right?

-You say a lot of things, it's hard to keep up."

Well, it was official. Rick didn't cared anymore. He was actually trying to push him further and further. But he was not gonna snap. Not again. He simply didn't want to oblige.

-"Is soup not good enough for you?

-I was never a big fan.

-Well we don't have the luxury to be picky anymore, do we? This is your last IV. You are now able to eat on your own. So that's what you are gonna do. If I have to make you, like some difficult child, I will. The plane analogy wasn't a joke."

Rick didn't answer but gave him a dark glance. Negan could only sight before so much defiance. The leader of Alexandria had that look again. The same he had tried to erase so many times. But for once, he didn't want to make him surrender. He just wanted to understand.

-"You are a leader, Rick. Or at least you were when you still gave a damn."

At that accusation, Rick couldn't help but tense and grit his teeth.

-"You know how valuable IVs are." Negan continued nevertheless.

-"Then why don't you just kill me? Or better yet, why didn't you kill me from the start so you wouldn't have wasted those precious IVs on me in the first place?

-I told you already, Rick. I'm not gonna kill you. I'm not gonna let you die either.

-And I already asked you, why? Why are you doing all this?"

Negan stayed silent a moment, gauging the pros and cons.

-"You know what? I'll start answering your whys when you start answering mines. Deal?

-Or what? What could you possibly find to threaten me with if not my life?"

Here it was, that confrontational look again. Negan sighted once more. He was tired of this conflict.

-"Your weakness has always been your empathy, Rick." He hesitated, wary of Rick's reaction, but still added. "Don't you care about Carl anymore?"

And the response was immediate, physically as Rick's face was now showing pure anger but also verbally:

-"Don't you dare say that.

-Wow, this was the exact same reaction Michonne had."

Hearing her name in Negan's mouth seemed to startle Rick.

-"You went to Alexandria? You talked to her?

-Yes." Negan simply stated. "I wanted some answers and you were… unavailable.

- And what did she tell you?"

Negan stared at Rick, hesitant. Maybe he could play mind games into making him tell him. But as eager as he was to get to the bottom of the story, he didn't want to use deceptive tactics to achieve his goal. So he simply answered:

-"Nothing.

Rick seemed relieved at the honest answer.

-"That's because there's nothing to say."

Negan was surely gonna regret not pushing after all.

-"So that's the only response I'm gonna get? You actually sound like a spoiled brat that wouldn't have received enough presents for his birthday. 35? But you said I would have 36.

-Quoting Harry Potter, seriously?

-Stop it, Rick. Are you saying you wouldn't do anything if I was to threaten your son in front of you? "

Not that he would actually do it, but he couldn't know that, could he?

Rick giggled anyway, that unexpected reaction sending shivers down Negan's spine.

-"I'd like to see you try."

Negan was so astonished that he just stayed silent at first, thinking. His voice was then softer and more controlled when he finally went ahead.

-"You gotta let me help you, Rick. Would you talk if it wasn't me? I can go fetch Carson if you want. You know him, professional and shit. He still abides by all the medical rules. So with the professional confidentiality, you know he wouldn't repeat anything you say to anyone. Even me. You really need to confide in someone. Would you like that?"

Rick seemed shocked, like he wouldn't have though the leader of the Saviors would actually go there. His answer was incisive nevertheless.

-"I don't want your help. I don't want to owe you anything.

-You already owe me your life.

-I didn't ask for it. And I sure as hell didn't want it." Rick almost shouted.

-Why, Rick? Why?"

But he could never hear Rick's umpteenth bravado at deflecting the real reason of it all as knocks resonated from the door. Negan, exceeded, turned towards the door and shouted:

-"What?"

He didn't have to wait long as Dwigth appeared across the doorframe.

-"Sir, I'm sorry to disturb you but we have a situation with... her.

-Can't it wait?

-I'm afraid not. Sir."

Negan took the time to analyze Dwigth's expression and the concern he could clearly see on his face convinced him.

-"I'll be right behind you."

His lieutenant nodded and just added:

-"We'll wait for you in room sixtty-five." And he left, opening the path.

-"Are you always talking to them that nicely or it's just for show because I'm here?"

Negan refocus briefly on Rick, already starting to head to the exit himself. He was not gonna comment on that last barb.

-"Saved by the bell. But we are not done, trust me. And I guess you'll be happy to hear that Carson is gonna be the one taking care of your physical therapy then.

-Really?" Rick replied with a smirk. "Doesn't he have any patient he has to attend to, today?"

Negan stayed silent and watched Rick in the eyes one more time.

-"Yes he does. You."

And on this last statement, he just exited, closing the door behind him.

Negan gone, Rick could finally breath. But at the same time, he couldn't stop thinking about the conversation that just happened between Negan and that other man. Negan's lackey had almost slipped the name of that "her" person until he had saw Rick and had use the pronoun instead. And he couldn't help but be worried. Was "her" one of Negan's wives Carl had told him about? Had she done something that could potentially make him mad? Enough so that he would punish her somehow?

Negan was maybe acting nice with him but he wasn't disillusioned to the point of thinking that he was that way with everybody. Even with him, he was only playing. He was sure of that. He had succeeded to submit him by force and by threatening others and now he seemed he had decided to spice the challenge by changing his method. All of this was surely just a game to him.

He was there in his thoughts when knocks resonated on the door once again, making Rick startled uncontrollably, even though Negan had warned him about who it could be. He didn't have time to answer than Harlan was entering, soothing Rick's concerns. He only had the time to hide all of his doubts and worries in a corner of his mind. Right now, he needed to focus on this new physical therapy session. Little by little, he could feel some sensations coming back in his body. As they say, he had to step back to jump forward. Or as he would say, endure and lay low to have a better shot next time.

Not my favorite chapter as to how it's written but I am actually happy to have put all that I wanted in it and it still made sense ^^.

Comments and/or reactions are always appreciated! Thanks for reading!