Chapter 2 : Walking with the Ghosts
A/N: takes a deep breath: This is chapter two. This is BB's pov. A year is long time for anyone to be alone, and I wanted to show how Raven's departure affected more than just her. So this is BB's take on his year without Raven. How he felt and how he dealt with those feelings.
I dedicate this chapter to all the sweethearts who reviewed chapter one. You guys totally made me feel comfortable about moving forward with this story.Thanks a million. And to dr.evil99, trust me chapter 2 wouldn't be up without his help.
Disclaimer: Don't own the Teen Titans, or anything else. All I own is Biff, my annoyingly idiotic muse and his new friend the angel Raziel. Both of them are stupid and for sale.
She thought she was being quiet. Thought that no one would notice her flight. But he wasn't called Beast Boy for nothing. He could hear her gathering her things. Even in the deep, coma-like sleep he was in he could smell her. Her gentle scent of jarcanda blossoms and patchouli was moving silently and swiftly down the hall. Moving past the doors that lined the way. Moving past the doors that held her friends. Leaving them behind. He knew she wouldn't stop to say goodbye. It wasn't her style. He knew that she was intent on just fading away for a while. Knew that she wanted to disappear. So even though he felt like his soul was being torn out through his back, he refused to get up and try to stop her. He focused all his energy on holding onto the indigo cloak he'd pirated, rolled over and faced the wall. He stayed there until he heard the door to the Tower whoosh shut. Stayed there until she was gone.
He knew she was running from it. Running from him, from the idea of them being a couple. The idea of them being together, the idea of them caring about one another. Loving each other. Knew that she was just so afraid of what that meant that she did the only thing that felt natural to her. She fled. And he let her. He was no fool, he knew that the tighter he held her the more she'd fight to get away. The closer he tried to get the farther she'd place herself. So he did the only thing he could do. He let her go. He gave the space and the time that she felt she needed and wanted. Told her to go, that he'd still be here when she got back.
He'd seen the bus ticket. She didn't know that, but he had. He'd snuck into her room last night, intent on having a memento of the girl who'd stolen his heart. Knew that although the tickets destination was for Guadalajara, Mexico, the chances of her actually getting off there were slim. Knowing her like he did, he figured she'd get off in some out of the way town just to make sure she was really alone. Just to make sure she had her space.
He knew that the others watched him closely those first couple of weeks. They knew the real reason Raven had fled and they watched him, waiting for him to break down, freak out, anything. He didn't share their worries. He was fine, he incessantly reassured them. He didn't need to talk because there was nothing to talk about. He could deal with her leaving it was no big deal. He was okay, really okay.
At least that was the lie he told himself. He was far from fine and he knew it. As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months he became less and less okay. Her ghosts invaded every place he went. He saw her face in places, like his tofu eggs (which she said tasted like fried glue), or in the strangers on the street (one time that person was on old lady, another she was a he). He'd walk by her door, catch a fading whiff of her jarcanda patchouliscent and freeze; trying to take in a much of the smell as possible. His nights were the worst though. She invaded his dreams, haunted him nightly. She'd stand there arms reaching for him, but each time he'd reach back he'd wake up. Realize that he'd been dreaming. That he was alone.
He hadn't wanted to let her go. He knew that making her stay, forcing her to that she belonged with him, would've been useless. Knew that she had to figure it out for herself. But he wished he'd told her to stay. Wished he'd let her know how much he cared about her. He'd wanted to tell her that it wasn't okay for her to just run off when things got hard, when she felt scared. That running away wouldn't help her. That the more she ran the more she lied to herself. That he was scared too. That he thought it was selfish of her to just leave, to not ask him how he felt about the changes their relationship was facing. That he thought it was selfish of her to just disappear and expect him to still be waiting whenever she decided to return. That she was selfish for not thinking about how all the time apart would affect him. That he cared about her and would be with her every single scary step of the way. But he hadn't. He'd wanted to tell her all that and more but he hadn't. He'd just smiled and let her go. Let her walk away from him.
Ten months to the day he came to a realization. He had to move on. He had to start living, truly living his life again. He could no longer go on acting as if he expected her to just show up suddenly, as if one morning he'd wake up and she'd be there. He could no longer put his life on hold. So he let her go. He came back out of the bubble he'd been in and began to enjoy the world around him. The ghosts and the girl moved to the back of his mind and heart. He was going to be okay.
Two months later the world decided he needed a little bit of a shake-up. Decided that he'd been getting too comfy and needed to be reminded that no problem just disappears like that forever. That no one person just disappears forever. The entire Titans group, reserve members included were at the Tower. They were celebrating the new addition to their team. Robin had decided that four team members just weren't enough to watch the city. Thus the addition of Wondergirl, or Donna as she preferred to be called. It was a blowout that only the Titans were capable of; joyous, loud and vibrant. Which was why the sudden silence was such a shock. Gar knew, instantly that only one person could bring such silence with her. And there she was. Her hair a little longer, body a little leaner and her eyes a little darker. Raven. She was finally home.
A/N: Okie-dokie so let me know what you guys think so far. I know for sure their will definitely be one more chapter. Maybe two if I feel that these two need more time to get back on track. I'm trying to stay below five chapters. Anyway please leave me reviews, they make me feel so much better and so very happy.