Chapter Twenty-One
In the early hours of 2006, Natalie rushed home from the Palace and locked herself in her bedroom, knowing what she had to do in order to start the New Year. After changing into a pair of grey sweatpants and old LPD tee-shirt, Natalie grabbed Cristian's journal from her bedside table and began to read. It only took her a half hour to finish it and once she had, she let it drop on to her bed and started blankly at the wall, allowing her mind to process what she had just read. Her suspicions had been confirmed.
Part of the reason Natalie hadn't wanted the glimpse into the innermost thoughts of her husband, because deep down she knew that John was right, the man that had come back and subsequently gone to prison was not the sweet, innocent, loving Cristian she married. The journal had confirmed that, it showed just how much her husband had changed and how violent he had become. Although there were some entries where he wrote about the memories of their first encounter and wedding, for the most part Cristian's thoughts were dark and angry. At one point he had even expressed hatred toward Carlotta for giving birth to him, and toward Antonio, wishing he had just been able to kill him like he had been ordered, holding both of them responsible for everything that had happened to him. Although prepared for the journal to show this dark side of Cristian, Natalie hadn't been prepared for the later entries regarding her which came off possessive, as they went into detail about how he would kill anyone who tried to come between them, including Jessica, Rex and even her mother.
For the first time since finding out the truth, Natalie found herself grateful that Cristian had ended up in prison, as she was now able to admit that no matter how much help she tried to get him, nothing would have been able to bring the old Cristian back. Armed with his knowledge, Natalie felt her anger toward John dull and she knew what she had to do. Picking up the journal she walked over toward the lit fireplace and threw the book in. She watched at the flames ripped through the pages, destroying everything she had just read. The man who had written that journal had not been her husband regardless of the DNA proof. It was a New Year, and a time to move on.
Moving away from the fire, Natalie went over to her closet and pulled down a small duffle bag. After throwing a few clothes into it, she pulled out her cell phone.
John numbly let himself into his apartment and crossed the room in a daze. Finding out Natalie had been pregnant with his child and had miscarried had hit John like a ton of bricks. He found himself overcome with varying emotions, anger at Natalie for not telling him, grief over the loss of child, and most of all guilt, as he held himself responsible for the loss.
Dropping his keys on the coffee table, John loosened his tie and made his way over to his small kitchen area and grabbed an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. Moving back over to his couch, John sat down ready to fall into his usual habit of drowning his pain, but groaned as he heard the annoying beep of his cell phone alerting him to waiting voice mail. Though tempted to ignore it, John knew it could be regarding the stalker, so he reached into his jacket pocket and grabbed his phone, wanting to just get the message over and done with so he could get back to his drink. Pressing 1 for the message to play, John was shocked when Natalie's voice filled his ear.
"John it's Natalie. Listen I have decided I need to get away for a few days and am heading up to grandpa's cabin on Lantano Mountain. I have my cell phone if you need me."
Swearing under his breath, John jumped up from the couch and grabbed his keys.
Natalie looked out the window for what seemed like the hundredth time. The blizzard that they has been forecasting all week was just beginning to hit making it nearly impossible for Natalie to see more then five feet in front of her. For the first time since arriving at the cabin, Natalie was filled with uneasiness as she worried that maybe this hadn't been the best of ideas considering the stalker.
Just as she was debating whether or not to call John again, she heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway and then a door slamming. Thoughts of the stalker got the better of her and for a second Natalie remained frozen in fear until she saw it was John making his way toward the door. Not surprised to see him, she crossed the living room and made her way toward the door just as he began to knock loudly, yelling out, "Natalie, it's John. Open up!"
Natalie silently opened the door and remained motionless as she pushed past her and made his way into the cabin. After she had closed and locked the door, John whirled around and fixed her with a steely stare, his eyes flashing. During the entire ride up there his anger had been slowly boiling, but seeing her caused it to erupt.
"Are you out of your fucking mind? There is a psychotic murderer after you yet you decide you need some bloody R&R and head up to an abandoned cabin in the woods during what is being predicted as the worst storm in the past 25 years?" Reaching over John grabbed Natalie's shoulders and gently shook her. "What if he had been following you and got here before me? This is without a doubt the stupidest, idiotic thing you have ever done, and let's face it Natalie, there are hundreds to choose from."
Breaking away from his grasp Natalie turned away and strode toward the kitchen not wanting John to see how shaken she was. Although she had expected this reaction, seeing his anger and hidden fear, Natalie knew he was right – she hadn't been thinking.
Way beyond frustrated with her, John peeled off his jacket and followed her into the kitchen ready to continue giving her a piece of his mind, but stopped as he noticed two place settings set at the table.
"I made Mac and Cheese," Natalie said as she grabbed the pot from where it had been warming on the stove and carried it over to the table where she proceeded to dish it out onto the plates. "I figured you didn't get a chance to eat much at the wedding considering you were watching me like a hawk."
"You planned this?" John asked his voice unintentionally harsh, realization dawning on him.
Ignoring his question, Natalie walked over to the fridge and pulled out two beers, then handed him one. Noticing that he was still dressed in his suit, Natalie pointed to the back staircase in the corner of the kitchen. "There are a bunch of old sweatpants and tee-shirts upstairs that Kevin and Joey have left here over the years. You may as well get changed, because based on the weather we may be here for awhile." She tried to turn away from him, but John gently grasped her hand.
"Natalie did you plan this?" John asked, his voice calmer.
"We need to talk."
John shook his head unsure whether to be amused or frustrated. "So instead of coming over to my apartment or inviting me to Llanfair you lure me up to an abandoned cabin in the middle of a blizzard?" Letting go of her hand, John raked his fingers through his hair. "Seriously Natalie, sometimes I have no idea how your mind works." Though John was annoyed over this, deep down he knew most of his anger and frustration was stemming from his guilt over finding out about the miscarriage.
Slightly sheepish, Natalie looked down at the floor. "I admit, maybe it wasn't exactly the smartest idea, but I had no choice." Taking a deep breath, she lifted her head and met his gaze. "Every time that night gets brought up I run away…"
"So you figured if we were stuck here, you wouldn't be able to?" John finished for her, understanding where she was going with this. "Still Natalie, didn't you even stop to consider how dangerous it could be, going off on your own like this?"
Natalie smiled weakly. "You know me – act first, think later." Natalie placed her hand over John's. "I'm sorry, I should have thought about that." Letting go of his hand, she walked over to the table and sat down. "John, I don't want to fight with you anymore. Can you just save the lecture for later?" Finally getting a chance to really look at her, John was shocked to realize how weak and drained she looked. Nodding, John forced a smile and pushed away all feelings of frustration. "Mac and Cheese, huh? Sounds better then any of that fancy food they served at the wedding." Sitting down across from her John lifted his fork and began to eat.