This was I think one of the most hardest chapters to write so far, I'm happy enough with it, but please do tell me what you think of this one. I've had a stressful, busy week, feeling down quite a bit so I finally finished this chapter. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

BTW a few people comment how they love the flow or direction of this story, may i ask can you like elaborate on that? When i first started writing this story i was like hell yeah lol not really knowing what i was doing at times. So i really want to know what you guys like about this story, and is there something you really want to see in this story?

Chapter 22 Give Me A Reason

The TARDIS lurched as the Doctor piloted the ship through the vortex. He typed in the correct coordinates to Clara's flat, ensuring to land her back only a few hours before she had left, despite having been staying on-board for an extended period of days. Clara waited patiently by the railings for the ship to land, Lauren sat on one of the TARDIS's jump seats by the console.

There was an awkward silence.

The Doctor was still showing signs of brooding to himself, Lauren was worried about what the Doctor was going to say to her while Clara was worrying over what to say to Danny again and still taken back by the Doctor's words.

You were an exceptional Doctor, Clara. Goodness had nothing to do with it.

She decided not to dwell on his words for the moment, she'd rather not think of it, worrying over Danny was enough, anyway, she didn't want another argument between them when they were getting along better now.

Clara let out a frustrated groan when she remembered the large pile of year 11 essays that she had to mark before Monday stacked in a heap on her table in her living room. Lauren glanced at her, giving her a questioning frown.

"Lots of marking to do," Clara elaborated with a sigh, just as the ship landed with a thud.

"Home sweet home," the Doctor declared quietly. "As promised. Back on the same day, only a few hours after you left, you'll be glad to hear."

"Thank you," Clara said in a now high-spirited tone. Might as well leave on a positive note she thought. She did save the world and all. "See you next Wednesday," she called as she walked towards the doors.

"Hmm," the Doctor hummed in response, already resetting the coordinates. "Meanwhile have fun with PE," he remarked.

Clara shot him a look as she stepped into her flat, hovering just outside the doors. "Danny," she automatically corrected him. "And yes, I will do," she smirked slightly. She went to close the door, then abruptly pulled it back again, peering in at the Doctor and Lauren. "Don't get up to too much trouble -"

"Without you, yes I know," the Doctor said with an impatience wave of his hand, like he was finishing a mantra.

"Well, that too," Clara said, ignoring his impatience look. "But try not to kill each other by the time I come back," she said seriously, looking between the pair. Then added brightly, "See ya," and closed the door.

Lauren sighed. Well there goes her support. Now it was back to just her and the Doctor, who was no doubt going to reprimand her again.

The TARDIS hummed and flared as the engines sounded and the ship dematerialized and flung itself back into the vortex. The Doctor was pressing a variety of buttons, typing, Lauren wondered, not for the first time, if some of the buttons actually did anything at all. He wasn't setting a destination, merely letting them drift. Time becomes suddenly meaningless. Clara back in her flat on Earth becomes like a faraway land to Lauren where what happens there doesn't affect her now. Floating past everything, like being contained in a bubble; but bubbles pop.

Her relationship with the Doctor certainly took a strain after the Mummy on the Orient Express fiasco. If it wasn't for Clara, Lauren probably wouldn't have coped as well. Although she couldn't always rely on Clara to jump to her defence and bridge the gap between her and the Doctor. Lauren realised as she and the Doctor stayed silent, just how much in the past few days she relied heavily on Clara as a mediator.

Lauren braced herself and cleared her throat.

"I only wanted to help. To save people, is that so bad?" She said, finally breaking the silence between them.

The Doctor didn't immediately reply, or indicate he even heard her.

Lauren thought for a brief moment he was ignoring her again but remembered he was the one who wanted to talk to her. He was just taking his time. She waited with baited breath.

"In my long life," the Doctor finally spoke, "I've heard so many similarly worded phrases of such defence after many disasters have arisen from careless people. From those who believe their intentions were right." He said, turning to face her.

There was anger in his voice and he eyed her with disapproval, but there was something else written on his face. Something Lauren couldn't read. She was often somewhat good at reading people – growing up with many other children and meeting many potential fosterers, you learnt and picked up a lot. But the Doctor could be so open in some areas, but closed off in others, always something hidden.

"Good intentions but combined with recklessness and ignorance, emotionally driven, now that's when disasters happen." He continued, leaning back against the console with his arms crossed as he stared down at her.

His face showing silent fury, but he remained in steady control.

Then, unexpectedly he said, "I understand…I know how you feel." He sounded empathetic, momentarily casting his gaze to the floor. Acknowledging his constant plight of carrying the burden of being a Time Lord. However, his sudden softness was short lived as he reverted back to anger once again. "But you have no idea the damage you could have done, could do! Saving one ordinary, innocent person could change time!" The Doctor bellowed, losing some of his control as he warily ran a hand across his face and tousled his hair.

Lauren gritted her teeth. "Saving their lives wouldn't have altered time drastically! It hasn't. You do these things all the time!"

"I am a Time Lord. I know when I can, I know when I can't," he said like he was repeating himself to a child who refused to listen. "Ripples Lauren. Every change, even the smallest, we make creates ripples. Now imagine if you kept on making these ripples, like dropping pebbles in a lake. Good luck fishing for a start, you've scared off all the fish." He exclaimed, before uncrossing his arms and pushing himself off the console as he moved to lean down, invading Lauren's personal space so they were eye to eye.

"All these small waves you create, some go and bounce off each other, some merge and as a result, tiny unforeseeable events occur. Most times nothing major, the universe carries on with itself."

"But…" The Doctor paused, holding a finger in the air between them. "Not always. Sometimes that tiny unforeseeable event influences another small unforeseeable event, then another until it could influence something bigger. The bigger the ripple, the more uncertain the consequences."

Lauren looked away from his piercing gaze then, bowing her head, hair falling over her face, acting like a curtain. The Doctor was intimidating and she felt shame creep in on her now.

"And you, Lauren, are treading a very fine line here. You're playing with lives and meddling with timelines. I have half the mind to kick you out! Frankly I should kick you out." The Doctor straighten and turned to brace his arms on the console, his back facing her as he let out a heavy sigh.

Her head sharply turned up at him again.

"Please don't," Lauren pleaded, jumping up from her seat, now fearful.

The Doctor gave her a side eye look as she approached him cautiously, her eyes wide and imploring up at him in a disturbingly similar fashion to Clara, and the Doctor was suddenly hit with the same torn feeling that Clara sparked in him.

His glare harden at her for making him feel guilty. "Why shouldn't I? You're reckless and dangerous. I have no reason to trust you, that you won't do something stupid again."

"I'm, I'm not," Lauren gulped, trying to take a lungful of air as she felt her throat tighten and her eyes grow damp. "I'm not dangerous." But even as she said it she knew it was pitiful and worse, untrue. The Doctor was right. She knew what she was doing, knows the risks, he had every right to be angry. "I just…trust me please. I, I'm not…I want us to be friends again." She sobbed, feeling the tears prickle in the corner of her eyes.

He leaned towards her, so close there wasn't much space between their noses. His hands hovered either side of her head like he wanted to grasp her and shake her out of sheer frustration as he spoke, "How can you expect me to trust you after what you've been trying to do? With all your lies, knowledge, doing what you see fit, using me for your own gain. Well? Answer me! How to you expect me to trust you?"

Lauren didn't respond. She stared at him, frozen, mouth agape and eyes terrified. The Doctor fingers twitched. Lauren let out a gasp as his hands suddenly moved to grasp her upper arms.

"I allow you to stay on my ship, my home, travel, see amazing things, and this is how you repay me? By going against my back?"

"No, no. Doctor, please understand -"

"Understand? Understand what?" The Doctor let out a hallow laugh, "Everything about you doesn't make sense. I look at you and I can't understand you. Your knowledge of me that you shouldn't have," his grip tighten then, fingernails digging in almost painfully. "Your entire presence here doesn't make sense. Who are you? What are you?"

"Doctor you're hurting me," Lauren whispered. The Doctor immediately relaxed his grip, letting go of her and stepping back a few paces.

He took several minutes to compose himself. "I'm sorry, but you broke my rules, you've proven I can't keep a time sensitive human on-board."

Lauren swore her heart just stopped. "You can't just dump me on Earth, you- you can't just leave me – "

"Oh yes I can. Time owes you nothing. I owe you nothing."

The Doctor might as well have just stabbed her in at moment. It felt like a knife had plunged and twisted into her chest at his remark.

"But, you promised. You promised to help me get home."

The Doctor just leans his whole upper body on the console panel, hands covering his eyes and his head pressed down. He looked broken then.

"I can't." His reply was muffled, but it rang through Lauren's ears. He refused to get up, to uncover his face.

He doesn't know a way to get her home.

"…Then what should I do?" Lauren asked, a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

The Doctor didn't reply but finally lifted himself up. She flailed her hands around as she quickly grew aggravated, before letting out an infuriated cry.

The Doctor pointedly didn't look in her direction and so didn't see her move. He let out a yelp of surprise as he felt arms suddenly wrap around his waist and a small body pressed against his back.

"Lauren?" He practically squeaked and began to struggle. The girl in question tightened her grip around him, refusing to let him go. She pressed her forehead to his back.

"I wanna go home now." Lauren cried softy into the velvet of his coat. The sound vibrated up his spine. The Doctor stilled, his struggle fading.

"I'm sorry," he choked out. He felt her shift and tilt her head to the side and press her cheek against the material of his coat now. "I did look. I was trying, looking for a similar tear in space and time…"

I'm truly lost then, she thought, trying her best at suppressing her sobs.

Hugging to hide her face, the Time Lord mused with a hint of distaste.

The Doctor gently reached to take one of her hands in his, lightly applying pressure; half in an attempt of comfort, half in an attempt to loosen her hold on him and break free of the hug.

Her mind was unguarded, the Doctor thought suddenly.

His touch telepathy – although rusty and lacking in recent years, was still present. It sparked through their continuous prolonged hug and hand hold, fuelled by her heightened state of emotions. He couldn't pick up direct thoughts, he wasn't reading her mind, (was generally uncomfortable using such ability on people, unless required,) their position was awkward anyway for mind reading.

He was picking up on her surface level emotions, and indirect thought impressions – not unlike when he used the scanner to draw on her emotions and some of her memories to himself to trick the Foretold on the Orient Express. The Doctor pondered if that was the reason he just inadvertently activated his touch telepathy when he held her hand. Normally he had great control over it.

He involuntarily picked up the tail end thought imprint of her feeling truly lost. He felt a yearning sensation for home, she missed her brother mainly. Fear. Confusion. Anger. And…affection?

"I don't understand how I got here either," Lauren spoke up, although her voice was slightly stifled against his coat.

"I know."

This time he intentionally brushed deeper, just scratching under the surface but not enough to startle her or that she could realise he was prodding his mind with hers. At most Lauren was probably experience a random warm feeling in her head. Well, he hoped. He was aiming for warm calming waves.

"I didn't mean to do any harm. I just wanted to save some people. I'm not trying to use you, or have an evil master plan."

I need a purpose

The Doctor frowned when he heard that thought as clear as day. There was a lot of swirling emotions associated with it.

"I know." He said again.

The Time Lord did know this deep down. He knew her actions were good intentions, but how many times could he risk letting her do it. She needed to learn. Her knowledge was dangerous. He shuddered to think what would happen if someone got hold of her and used her knowledge against him. Manipulated or even torture her if any one of his enemies found out about her.

Lauren may not have an evil master plan, but what if someone else did?

Someone could be using her even if she isn't aware of it herself.

The Doctor realized the affection he was sensing was largely aimed at him. Despite everything, Lauren held great trust and fondness for him. He retracted his mind from hers, letting go of her hand and finally breaking away from her embrace as he stalked to the other side of the console. It was overwhelming to feel such fondness directed towards him. He felt unworthy and quickly moved away. Lauren on the other hand looked hurt as he stalked away from her.

"You still don't trust me. You still think I'm a trap." Lauren said, sadly.

"I trust that you are good. I trust that you are my friend." He didn't tell her that he was afraid of her 'gift', of how she got here and how it enabled her to see through time. Afraid someone could use her. "I don't trust you using your little insight."

"Well what else should I do? I thought I could actually do some good. Have a purpose." Lauren argued, wiping away a few stray tears.

"Purpose?" the Doctor questioned with a rise of an eyebrow. That word again.

"Well…I thought I must have a reason. Everyone needs a purpose. I thought I must have been brought here for some reason, with the stuff I know, I thought I could help." Lauren explained. She looked at the Doctor only to find him staring at her owlishly. Now Lauren started to feel embarrassed.

"So you're saying the universe choose you and you've been doing this because you feel morally compelled to do so?" the Doctor asked, perplexed. Although that did explain a lot of her behaviour he realized.

Lauren felt suddenly stupid. "I don't mean it like that! I mean, urgh…what would you think if you were me? There must be some reason."

"I mean, I've certainly contemplated many theories. I thought you were up to no good at first, or working for someone to get to me. I briefly entertained the idea you could have been kidnapped since the last thing you remember is being in your bed."

Lauren didn't like the way he was looking at her with pity now.

He continued, "Thanks to me, Coal Hill School and the surrounding area as a lot of atron energy. Plenty of rift activity, known to create holes in space-time allowing things to come through." He idly fiddled with a lever before looking at her again. Still with the same annoying look of pity. "There have been a fair few creatures, aliens that have fallen through, you wouldn't be the first odd thing to happen there," he said slowly. He waited for a moment as she took in his words before elaborating further.

"A tear that opens into another parallel universe, although unlikely, is possible. Who knows, maybe someone else opened it and you accidently where caught in it. What I'm saying Lauren, is maybe there isn't one. That if nothing else, we have to entertain the idea that just maybe, there's a chance you being here is just an accident." the Doctor said carefully, like he was testing the waters, gauging her reaction.

Lauren stayed silent for what felt like ages after that. She had thought of the idea once before but quickly dismissed it. Now she furiously blinked in order to keep the fresh set of tears from falling down her cheeks. Her brain was just flat out refusing to accept that as an even as a suggestion. This emotional rollercoaster of a day wasn't something she couldn't handle any more.

"Do you still want me to leave?" Lauren said quietly, staring at her shoes, finding them very interesting now.

The Doctor almost didn't hear Lauren finally speak for she said the words so quietly that even his Time Lord hearing had to strain to hear.

He sighed, thinking to himself, never cruel or cowardly… Lauren has no one but him and Clara.

"No," he said against his better judgement, before adding, "Is being stuck for now travelling with me, saving worlds, motiving me to keep on fighting, exploring, and listen to how amazing I am and my plans are, a good enough purpose for you?" the Doctor offered, flashing her a tight smile while disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

Lauren looked up at him, staring in shock until she smiled, shyly, eyes still watery but happy. "Yeah, it is." She let her shoulders drop, feeling pure relief.

She was still upset, and emotionally drained, still no closer to potentially find her way back home, but she and the Doctor are on slightly better terms now. So that made her happy.

"But you're on a warning though," the Doctor held up a finger, he was quick to remind her of the original problem they were having. "I'm gonna have to set ground rules for you. Compromise. I mean this. Your knowledge is dangerous, and I can't let you keep on doing what you are doing, if you want to stay that is," he warned her. "You follow my rules, you listen to what I say, and you can't keep lying and hiding things…"

Lauren nodded vigorously. Agreeing to anything in the moment so long as she stays on-board. The Doctor was still rattling on, and Lauren knew she was in for an ear ache with the lecture on ground rules and what nots he was going to give her in the next few hours.

"Thanks." Lauren said sincerely, interrupting his ramblings.

"Really, don't mention it," the Doctor waved her off. "I reserve the right to kick you out at anytime."

"Clara would kill you if you abandon me," Lauren muttered.

The Doctor let out a terse laugh, it wasn't an unkind laugh but it wasn't full of merit either, actually it was more like an exhale of breath; though one of agreement.