Disclaimer: Anything that's Eoin Colfer's isn't mine. Anything else probably is.
Author's note: Well, here I go again, acting even weirder than before. Rating could be upped in future – battles, blood, murder (or is it suicide?) and – perhaps – Holly about to be anaesthetized. Ouch.
And note the humour. Please?
Oh, and one more thing – is there any way to sign up for the Ultimate Fanfic Challenge (Fanfic100) without becoming a LiveJournal user? I've already done about one-fifth but I want to sign up and post it on here as well...
Artemis Fowl: The Extraterrestrial Invasion
By Seori (서리), 29/06/06
Prologue: Grasshoppers?
Fowl Manor,
Ireland
(Holly's PoV)
"So what's the real point of this meeting," I asked, arms placed akimbo, "If you've got nothing to report?"
"Are you meaning to inform me that one cannot contact one's friend simply for the purposes of enjoying time together?" He was getting his vampire smile out again. The one with the real fangs. Damn.
"So here's Mud Boy, getting all uppity on me again. You have the guts to call me your friend yet you don't even let me come in?"
"My parents are home, and you cannot walk into our house without a shield." He regarded me with those cold blue eyes, daring me to oppose him. "The spark of decency in me has grown. Surely you would not want it to go out...?"
I sighed. Males. Every one of them is exactly the same – dominating.
Or wanting to be dominating.
"Let me in, or else I'll just go." I turned as if to leave, watching his reaction out of the corner of my eye.
"No, Holly –" Ha. Caught again! "Please stay. We can have a stroll in the gardens, if you wish."
Which is exactly what we did.
Operations Booth,
Lower Elements
Foaly was staring into the screen of his wafer-thin laptop computer, researching a strange signal from one of the Scopes, when Tchaikovsky's 'Pathetique' started playing from the speakers. He minimised the window and clip-clopped to the door, peeking out of the tinted window.
"Sool," the technician growled uncharacteristically, "what does he want now?"
The Commander frowned at him, even though he couldn't see the Centaur from outside, and pursed his lips.
Foaly made sure he had on his most annoying smile, readjusted his tinfoil cap and opened the door but a crack. "What does the imbecilic Commander want today, I wonder? I hope it's not a coffee and chat, because I'm simply too busy to listen to –"
"Open up this Booth right now, Centaur, or else I'll cut your pay in half and give you nothing!" Sool snapped, who by now had resorted to pushing at the two-inch Teflon-coated steel door in vain.
Foaly chuckled and waved a reproving finger at him. "You won't be able to do that, impostor, or else –"
"Commander, out of the way please," came a voice from behind said elf, "Technician, please open the door. There is a crisis at hand."
The Centaur immediately sobered, pressing in the thirty-two digit code to bypass the security system, letting Sool and the voice in – who turned out to be Wing Commander Vinyaya.
"Thank you," both said in unison as the door slid smoothly shut behind them with a whispering hiss.
"Not at all." The technician sat down on his quadruped swivel chair, swinging around to face his visitors. "Now, what brings you to my humble refuge?" Humble my hoof, he added silently, reminding himself to poke Sool about it later.
Vinyaya started, "Have you received any reports from civilians about a strange signal?"
The Centaur looked surprised. "Yes, Commander, but they were about the satellite TV signals being tampered with. I didn't think it was important enough for what I was doing at the moment." He gestured vaguely around, letting his gaze wander around the junkyard of dissected gadgets and cartons of carrots.
"As in... what?" Sool asked, the barest trace of sarcasm poking through his words.
"As in tracing a suspicious signal from somewhere beyond the star Alpha Tauri, otherwise known as Aldebaran. It's still too far away to pinpoint the exact location."
The Wing Commander's eyes grew wide. "Must be very far away, then."
"True, true," Foaly's chest swelled with pride. "Why, these babies can even track –"
"Save that for later – I have a bad feeling about this signal." She shifted on her feet. "Tell me more."
"Well..." he hesitated for a moment, calculating the odds, then sat back with a frown. "I think the signals that are interfering with the satellite ones are the same as the ones coming from Alpha Tauri."
"Well, we all knew that," the Commander butted in with suppressed annoyance, "What other information do you have, Centaur?"
Oh, so now he calls me Centaur? "I also have a theory that once the signal passes the edge of our Solar System, something will happen. Something bad." Let's see if you like me being stupid, shall we? "Something really really bad."
Just as Sool was about to comment on something, one of the computers beeped urgently. Foaly immediately turned to it with a muttered "Excuse me," opened the recognisor, stared at the screen –
Then gasped.
All over the world, technology went berserk.
Fowl Manor,
Ireland
(Holly's PoV)
I yawned. "I feel stiff from sitting so long."
Artemis glanced at me, then turned back to the Dublin cityscape. I noticed he was about to say something and turned to him, when all the lights in the city blinked out, as if a dark blanket had been thrown over it. I turned towards the Manor and found that it, too, was completely black.
And before I could get a single word out of my mouth, he pressed a finger to his lips. Silence.
But why?
He cupped a hand around his ear. Listen.
And then I heard it – a faint, keening sound, otherworldly and distant, but coming closer every second.
What is it? I threw a glance at the watch Foaly had given me, which doubled as a locater, and saw that the screen was completely black.
If technology all through the earth was going through the same symptoms, then it could only mean...
And then it hit me: Lockdown.
We made it to the nearest shuttle port in double-quick time, the keening sound growing ever louder. The dimmed emergency lights inside only proved our situation: worldwide lockdown.
So we simply sat down and discussed the possibilities of a worldwide lockdown. Artemis silenced me after a few crazy guesses, going around to the other side of the maple tree to meditate. I promised I'd keep an eye on him instead of Butler, and unsheathed my gun. Nuclear battery, thank you very much. It hummed reassuringly in my grip.
Boom, baby!
Operations Booth,
Lower Elements
"What happened?" Sool asked, fear evidently showing in his voice. All but the glowing emergency lights had gone out, and the titanium door had opened without a touch. Foaly found himself listening calmly to screams, crashes and booms from outside, as well as the frenzied steps of a thousand feet inside the LEP Headquarters.
"Worldwide lockdown," he muttered, as Vinyaya looked around.
"You call this the most impregnable place on and under the world, and it falls apart at the very sound of a lockdown." A silhouette of an elf stepped into view, looking oh-so-sceptical.
"Chairman Cartahez." The Wing Commander stepped forward with a wry expression. "You're just in time to experience the biggest lockdown in history."
"Maybe that's only because the lockdown system's been part of Haven for two millennia."
"If you'll excuse me," said Foaly, looking grim, "You've come here to ask about the happenings here."
"True."
"We don't have much time, so I'll explain this quickly: The weird signal I can't get a lock on has just sent the whole planet on lockdown, not just on Haven. As far as I know, there aren't any specific lockdown measures set up above ground, but the signal was so strong that they just – shorted out, I suppose.
"Carrying on, since the 'edge' of the universe is roughly 120 Astronomical Units away, it'll take – very approximately – 16 hours for the signal – and whatever it's carrying – to get here."
"So that gives us a 16-hour window to work by." The Chairman turned towards Sool and Vinyaya. "Commanders, come outside with me for a moment. Technician, please find us the fastest way of dealing with the signal."
Oh, so they're deciding to dub it 'the signal?' Talk about limited vocab. "It's not as easy as finding the fastest way, Chairman –"
"I don't think he cares," Sool muttered evilly behind his back. The Centaur toyed with the idea of kicking the fat prick to Atlantis, then decided against it, merely because he didn't want to face a trial when his career was going so well.
So he turned back to his beloved computers, rebooting them one by one.
"Oh," he threw over his back, "by the way, Chairman – if I were caught in a lockdown with no exit pass and a two-inch steel door, how would you ever get LEP HQ running again?"
Outside the Operations Booth,
Lower Elements
"Ark Sool." The Wing Commander's voice was reverentially quiet. "You have been accused by no less than three witnesses of committing various acts of larceny, treason, blackmail and bribery. Do you deny this?"
Sool threw a dirty glance at the now closed metal door. "I swear it wasn't me," he said, "it was that Centaur who twisted the records. You know he does!"
"While we do understand that you two have a long-standing vendetta against each other, we also know that Foaly wouldn't do anything of the sort. You're too vital to the LEP as it is – don't take it as a compliment – and with a slight shortage of hands at the moment, we need all the help we can get."
"Say I did do all those things – larceny, treason and everything else. Who would take my seat? There aren't any more potential Commanders in the line, except Major Kelp, who is still getting used to his seat." Sool folded his arms and tried his best to look innocent and knowledgeable at the same time.
"Well..." Cartahez looked slightly worried at the thought of having a Commander's seat empty, but carried on in the name of the LEP. "You are to be demoted for the time being."
From the surprised yet satisfied expression on Ivy's face, Sool could tell she hadn't known about this until just now. "How far?" he asked, dreading the worst.
"Maintenance."
He groaned, slamming his head against the wall.
Cartahez turned to Vinyaya, looking grimmer than ever. "Wing Commander, would you be willing to fill in the Commander's post?"
She smiled winningly. "Anything for the good of Haven, Chairman." Anything, she added silently, including bringing Holly back.
Shuttle Port,
Ireland
(Holly's PoV)
I pricked up my ears. "Do you hear that?"
Artemis listened carefully. "It sounds like wings."
"Wings?"
"Wings –" he had no more time to speak, because the sound had come rushing towards them, drowning out anything and everything – a rushing, slithering sound like leaves being swept up by the wind.
Moments later, I felt hundreds – no, thousands – of insects brushing into me, flying frantically past only to crash into Artemis. "Cover," I yelled at him, covering my mouth as well as possible, "Take cover from a northerly!"
We both scrambled behind the maple again, breath sucked in, gasping and panting. We tried to flatten ourselves against the tree trunk, but it was no use – they kept on coming. Falling from the branches, half-stunned and even dead, tangling in our hair, getting caught up in folds of clothing – the bugs were everywhere!
And then – just like that, as if it had never happened, they were gone. Only a few weaklings had been left behind, flapping frantically to try and catch up. No doubt they'd perish after another five hundred metres.
"What was that?" I asked, looking up at the panting figure of Artemis outlined by the moonlight.
The genius turned it over in his head, prodding at one fact or another. "An after-effect of the lockdown, by my guess."
"Then how did they survive when there was no technology?"
"No, I don't mean that – I mean whatever caused the signal probably caused the grasshoppers to panic."
"I thought grasshoppers couldn't receive electronic signals…?"
"Electric or no, it probably tampered with the parasites in the bodies of the majority of the grasshopper race. The parasites control a minority of the insect's thoughts, but something like this – obviously it couldn't have been ignored."
I slid down the tree. "Wow."
So, did you enjoy it? Tell me if I should carry on.
Since I've got nothing more to do on this chapter anymore,
A bientot-
.:.Seori.:.