THE DEPARTING
They come, they go,
Filled our hearts then let them burn.
It's only now, it's not forever
One day our hearts will be together.
Hearts
Conquered Mind
Ryan awoke that morning to the sound of Rachel's voice saying his name. He groaned loudly and rolled over onto his opposite side so that he had his back to her. Finally feeling as though he had won the battle, Ryan felt the land of dreams tugging at his mind again. But within an instant it was gone as he was abruptly hit in the head with a pillow.
"I'm not stupid, I know you're awake," Rachel stated.
Ryan only smirked at the comment and battered the object back at her. Rachel could be such a kid when she wanted to be, she knew full well that this was the way to really get his attention, simply act like the true little sister that she was.
"Sleep," Ryan dragged out.
Rachel jumped onto the bed beside him, for the first time being annoyed with her light weight as she was not able to move the bed enough to have a real effect on her brother.
She began to whistle a made up tune, tapping the palms of her hands against the mattress in time to the beat.
"What?" Ryan asked groggily after a while, his back still turned to her.
"Nothing," Rachel answered simply.
The comment made Ryan finally turn and face her with a look of disbelief on his face. "Bull."
Rachel simply smiled at her brother and it was the first time he noticed that she was fully dressed and ready to leave the hotel. Ryan rubbed his eyes roughly and stared at her, waiting for an answer.
Rachel answered in an obvious tone leaping onto her knees before him. "Ry', we're in Vegas, staying in the most expensive hotel money can buy, with the greatest family we've ever had and you're just lying around."
Ryan gave her an I-already-knew-that look and remained silent.
"So," Rachel continued. "Get off your ass and make the most of it."
"I'm making the most of the hotel," he stated bluntly.
"And I'm going to be making the most of that pillow again if you don't stop being so boring and get out of bed." Rachel couldn't help the joking tone, which crept into her voice. "So get up, get ready, and we can take it from there."
Ryan let out an annoyed groan before sitting up and climbing out of bed mumbling about how he would get her back for this.
Rachel propped herself up against the headboard of the bed and waited, noticing that Ryan's room was very similar to hers and Seth's. Though some of the furniture was different, more modern looking compared to the antique feel of her own room.
She jumped in fright when his cell-phone suddenly rang.
"Can you get that?" Ryan asked from the bathroom where he was freshening up.
Rachel rolled her eyes before getting off the bed and picking up the phone. "Hello?"
There was an eerie silence on the other end of the line.
She tried again. "Hello?"
The line was instantly disconnected leaving Rachel standing there looking rather shocked at the phone which she still held in her hand. Ryan walked back into the room bare-chested with a new set of jeans on, hair a little tamer than it had been prior to him getting up.
"Who was it?" He asked letting out a long yawn before picking up the shirt he had hanging on the doorhandle and throwing it on.
"I dunno," Rachel answered. "They hung up."
She looked up at her brother who only shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
At that moment they heard Sandy yelling at an annoyed Kirsten out in the lounge. As usual it seemed to be about Sandy's work schedule, as Kirsten continuously brought up 'the kids' in the argument. Rachel didn't understand why she kept using them as the excuse, all that she had to do was tell her husband that she wanted to spend some time with him. It seemed so simple.
Rachel looked over at her brother who gave her a small smile. "They've been doing it since before we left," she said. "I've never heard anyone fight like that before, not even us."
Ryan nodded. "They're married, what do you expect?" He asked playfully trying not to get her worried. "Go get Seth, then we can get going."
Rachel let on a small smile before leaving the room, hearing Ryan let out a tired sigh as she did. She stopped short suddenly in the hallway, which lead to the lounge and turned back around.
"Hey," she said catching Ryan's attention again as she stuck her head into his room. "Thanks."
Ryan just smiled, he didn't need to answer as she left. He knew that Rachel appreciated him spending time with her, it was something that they had seemed to be doing less and less of lately. Since his relationship with Marissa had become more serious it was as though they never saw each other outside of the regular family time over dinner.
Guilt washed over Ryan as he thought of this, and how his attention had been redirected as of late. Rachel was the closest person to him, she was not only his sister, but also his best friend and he loved her dearly. She was his other half, the side which kept him grounded, the side which had stopped him from going over the edge countless times.
Ryan stood quietly as he let these thoughts go through his mind.
His little sister was his world.
"Sum?" Marissa asked as she noticed her usually talkative friend being particularly quiet. "Are you alright?"
They sat together on the sandy beach of Newport, soaking in the early morning sun while watching the smooth waves as they crashed above the shore
"I hate my life," Summer suddenly said.
Marissa looked strongly at her. "Don't say that."
Summer let out a dramatic sigh. "It's totally true though. I mean, look at me," she began. "I'm beautiful, and rich and I'm sitting on the beach with my best friend because I'm single. What kind of a guy would leave a girl like me single?"
Marissa couldn't help the confused frown which creeped along her features and she turned to face her friend. "This wouldn't have anything to do with what happened with Seth, would it?"
Summer let out a laugh. "Cohen? Pfft. Who cares about him?"
Marissa had nothing to say to the comment. She knew well enough that Summer was still upset about her loss of Seth to Rachel, even if it had been almost three months since it happened. But Marissa then realised that it had not only that Summer bowed out gracefully after meeting her defeat in the beautiful girl from Chino; it was also the whole fact that Seth seemed uninterested in her now.
"But I mean," Summer continued catching Marissa's attention again. "This is a guy who used to worship the very ground that I walked on and now he is totally over me. How is that, like, possible?"
Marissa let out a long breath and diverted her eyes to the ocean waves as they broke out in the distance. "People change Summer, the grow and they move on. I'm sure Seth still likes you, but he's found someone now, maybe you should be happy for him."
"I am happy for him. I am totally happy, it's just that, what about me?" Summer asked turning to face her friend. "I mean, sure I have all the qualities that make guys melt but they aren't exactly falling at my feet right now."
Marissa looked closely at Summer who's eyes seemed to be glazed over slightly as though she was thinking about something. "This isn't just about Seth, is it?"
Summer frowned but finally spoke. "Okay, no."
"You miss Anna."
"No!"
Marissa looked strongly at Summer.
"Okay, yeah, maybe I do. She might have been annoying, and totally throwing herself at Seth, but she was nice and sweet and she cared about people."
Marissa smiled at Summer's open honesty. "You'll be able to keep in touch with her. And you and Seth can stay friends, you never know, you might form a really nice relationship."
"Hey, are you ready to…?"
Rachel stopped short as she entered her hotel room. She saw Seth, sitting on the edge of their bed staring at his phone, which sat slack in his hands. She was instantly drawn to his expression, one of sheer sadness, but also annoyance, if it were in any way possible to put the two together.
"Seth…?"
Rachel stepped into the room and moved over to where he was, tucking one leg under herself and sitting down beside him and waiting for a reply. When none came she hesitantly placed her hand on the phone that he held and took it from him, dropping it on the bed beside her.
"Seth…" She tried again, hoping for some sort of acknowledgment.
Ever so slowly Seth began to speak, but his voice was not his usual bubbly self, using every word in a joking manor, it was quiet and sad.
"She's gone," he whispered.
Rachel frowned at the comment, not understanding what he was talking about. "Who's gone?" She asked. When she receive no reply, Rachel placed a soothing hand on Seth's cheek and turned his face to hers. "Who's gone?"
Seth simply stared at her for a moment, not saying anything, just looking into her eyes as though they brought some relief to what he was about to say.
"Anna," he finally spoke. "She's gone." Rachel remained silent as Seth explained. "She just called then, said that when we get back she wasn't going to be there."
Rachel couldn't help the shock which came over her face, despite everything that she and Anna had been through, they had managed to form a loose friendship for Seth's sake in the passing months. It didn't surprise Rachel that she had finally left Newport to return home to her family, but what did shock her was how she had broken the news to her closest friend.
"It's okay," Rachel soothed. "You haven't lost her, you can still talk to her, and maybe even go and visit sometimes."
Seth frowned at her comment and pulled away from her touch, standing before her with an angered expression. "How would you know? It's not like you liked her or anything, you're probably happy she left."
"Seth, I'm not happy, I just think that if that's what she wanted to do then maybe it is the best thing," Rachel insisted.
"Don't talk like you know her!" Seth yelled. "You didn't know her, you didn't see the person she really was, and you don't know what it feels like to know someone you care about has left your life – possibly forever – and you never even got to say goodbye."
Rachel sat in silence while Seth yelled, knowing that he was simply trying to deal with the hurt that he was feeling at that moment. When he finally stopped and simply stared at her, Rachel spoke up.
"Yes I do," she stated.
Seth remained silent at the comment with a confused look on his face, not only because of what Rachel had said, but because of how he had just attacked her as well.
"How do you think Ry' and Trey left?" She asked simply. "Do you think the cops let them come back home and say goodbye to their family, and tell them that everything was going to be alright?" Her voice was filled with an almost mock sarcasm. "I never saw Ry' the day that they went to boost the car. I never saw him or Trey that morning because they left before I woke up. Not that afternoon because by the time I figured out what was going on it was too late, and I sure as hell didn't see them that night when they had their ass' hauled into jail."
Seth was only staring at her in shock of what she was saying. Though he had wondered on many occasions why Ryan had never brought his sister with him to Newport in the first place, he had not wanted to press the matter too much out of fear of hurting them both. Now he suddenly realised what had happened.
"The last time I saw Ry' we fought about what he was about to do," Rachel continued. "We said things that…you just…regret them forever. I made him promise that he wouldn't go because I knew that Trey wouldn't care if he didn't, Jesus, he was so screwed up by that point I don't even think he realised what he was getting them both into. But when I woke up and found that Ry' was gone, you have no idea how I felt. This was someone who had been there for me my entire life, he was probably the only reason why Mum's boyfriends hadn't started beating on me as well."
Rachel could see Seth's expression changing with her every word. She could see the shock in his eyes from finding out an extra piece of her life's puzzle, something she very rarely exposed to him out of fear of what she was seeing now. The sheer disbelief and pity he felt toward her.
"I know what you're going through Seth, because it happened to me. When I found out that Ry' was going to Orange County I flipped. I couldn't deal with the fact that I was going to loose him and that's why mum packed up our things and we left, because she didn't want me to see him. She didn't want me to leave with him. We went back to Chino after I found out that he had gone to stay with you, by that point things were so bad that I couldn't deal with it any more. So I called him, and the rest…"
Rachel finished her story with a slight smile on her face. "You never know what's going to happen Seth, you don't know if you guys will meet up again tomorrow or in ten years from now. But something that you have to remember, is that when you do, it'll all seem like you were never apart."
And with that, Rachel stood and left, leaving Seth to think about what she had just said.
Marissa sat alone on her bed staring at the wall across from her but not really seeing it at all. Things seemed to be so perfect at the moment, her relationship with Ryan was at an all time high, her family life finally felt like she knew it should and the summer holidays had brought more than sun, surf and sand. They were giving her the time to sit back and take everything in, something which she was rarely able to do.
The departure of Anna back to Pittsburgh however, had been the one setback that she felt was coming. Nothing was ever perfect in Newport, in her life, Marissa had come to learn that quickly. With the good came the bad.
Not having Ryan with her only made the situation worse and despite Summer's continued attempts to fill the void of her absent boyfriend, it just wasn't the same. She wasn't him. She didn't have the same ability to make her feel as wanted and loved as Ryan did. Marissa knew why he was Rachel's strong hold, her backbone, it was because to feel love from Ryan was to feel like nothing in the world could ever hurt you.
Some part deep down inside Marissa wished that she and Ryan had the relationship that he and his sister had. The closeness between the two was undeniable, even to the least observant. Though she was indescribably happy with the bond the two shared, at times it felt as though she was second best when it came to the females in Ryan's life.
Rachel would always come first, there was no denying that, but Marissa just wished that at times she didn't feel like this particular fact was such a negative one. His sister knew him like she never would. Rachel knew the whole Ryan, the Ryan which had lived in Chino for all those years, the Ryan that had been through hell and back and was still standing, the Ryan who was the older brother.
Thinking of this did not only leave an aching within Marissa's chest, it also left her wandering if she would ever truly be as close to Ryan as she wished she was.
"You broken anything yet?"
There was no 'hello', no 'how are you?' as Luke answered his cell-phone to hear the voice of Rachel on the other line. He smiled at her question and its bluntness.
"A couple of wine glasses and your favourite stereo," he replied.
Needing someone to watch the house while they were gone Sandy had asked Luke if he would do the honour's after Jimmy had reluctantly declined the invite, saying that he wished to spend some time with Marissa.
The job was an easy one, even by Luke's standards. He lived in the house, ate the food, swam in the pool and made sure nothing went wrong.
"You don't drink wine, Luke, I'm not that gullible," Rachel laughed.
"You were worried there for a bit," Luke joked, practically hearing her smile on the other end of the line. "How's Vegas?"
"How's my room?" She asked.
Luke dropped onto the sofa and turned on the television flicking through the many channels before finally answering. "You have some pretty boring stuff in there, nothing even half interesting."
Rachel smirked at the comment. "Really?"
"Yeah," Luke continued. "Not even in your underwear drawer."
"Okay, that's too far."
"I was thinking the same thing." He finally stopped surfing the channels and leaned back comfortably into the cushions. It was only then that he heard the noise of a crowd through the phone. "Where are you?"
"At the first moon landing. You?"
"Somewhere between Martha Stuart Home Living and E True Hollywood Story," Luke answered throwing down the remote in frustration.
Rachel laughed softly. "Sounds like a hard choice." She let out a long sigh and Luke heard what sounded like her changing the phone to her other ear. "Well, if you really want to know, I am currently standing in front of the most expensive clothing I think I have ever seen, having an internal debate over whether I buy something and feel like a million bucks, or I don't buy something and get to keep my million bucks."
Luke smiled at her good natured humour. Lately it seemed like she was finally becoming more comfortable inside her own skin, being able to be more like she wanted, instead or what people expected.
"Go bet that million bucks on a game of poker and try to double it," he said.
"Ah, problem there is the fact that I am kinda lacking in the million dollar department." Rachel began to whistle softly.
Luke was frowning now, not understanding why she wasn't occupied doing something with Ryan and Seth. "Where are the others?" He asked.
"Ryan's buying a new watch and Seth is getting a temporary tattoo." When she received no reply Rachel finished with a simple. "Don't ask."
"I wasn't planning too," Luke answered. "And you're calling me, why?"
"Can't I check in on a friend?"
"Don't you mean check up on a friend who also happens to be living in your house at the moment?"
"There's always that."
Luke was nodding his head knowingly. "Well, everything is fine."
"Wine glasses?"
"Not broken."
"Stereo?"
"Still working." Luke couldn't help the grin, which had crept, along his face at her questions, wishing that she was with him so that he could see the playful look upon her face.
"You really wanna blow a whole in my pocket, don't you?"
Ryan's voice was heard faintly in the background as there was a pause in the conversation. Luke figured that he had seen Rachel looking at the clothing with a little too much interest.
"I'd better let you go," Luke said.
"Yeah, you probably shouldn't witness my brother murdering me because he's jumping to conclusions," Rachel replied knowing that her friend could practically see the amused look she was giving her brother. "Bye Luke."
"Bye Rach."
After a long day out on the town, exploring some of the many sights and sounds of Las Vegas with Rachel and Seth, and having a near heart attack when he caught his sister looking at designer labels there was nothing more Ryan wanted to do then to crawl into bed and get some sleep. He had noticed lately that he had been feeling unusually tired despite not doing anything overly strenuous.
Just as he kicked off his shoes to prepare for some much-needed shut-eye, his cell-phone rang. Grumbling slightly as he fished it out of his pocket, Ryan flipped open the device and said hello.
"Ryan, sweetie, how are you?" The voice was painfully familiar.
"Okay," he replied simply, feeling his chest begin to tighten at the sound of the person on the other line.
There was too much pain attached with the voice. Too many times when it had brought a near end to both he and his sisters life. It was the very voice, which was the reason why he and Rachel now lived in Newport, away from Chino, away from their old lives.
It was his mother.
"What do you want?" Ryan asked trying not to use a harsh tone but at the same time not caring if she heard the anger in his words.
"I just wanted to check in on you and my baby girl," Dawn said.
"Her names Rachel, mum." When he spoke her name it was filled with a venomous tang. Ryan had no objection to her calling to speak to him, but as soon as she mentioned Rachel he felt like throwing the phone across the room.
"You're both good? Having fun in Vegas?"
Ryan fell silent at the question, not knowing what to say. Her voice was filled with a genuine concern for the two of them, how could he not feel for the woman who had lost all three of her children to other carers? Trey to the prison guards and he and Rachel to the Cohen's. But on that thought Ryan remembered why they were there in the first place. It was because she had disowned him; it was because her boyfriends knocked him around. And it was because Rachel felt safe in his presence rather than hers.
"How did you know we were here?" Ryan asked.
"Theresa," Dawn replied. "Rachel had been in touch with her. You must be having fun, Rachel always wanted to go there."
Ryan couldn't help himself. "And you promised her you would take her when she was ten," he said dryly.
"Look, honey, I didn't call to fight," Dawn insisted.
"Well that's a hard request," Ryan replied not knowing where he was building up the courage to be so sly toward his own mother.
"I called to tell you that you won't be able to get a hold of me in Chino any more."
"That's what you said when you left the first time, but Rach seemed to find you pretty easily."
Dawn let out a long breath. "Ryan, please listen to me. I'm leaving Chino, for good this time. AJ and me are moving to Ohio," she stated.
Ryan instantly fell silent at the revelation. How could she just leave like that? It didn't matter that her children weren't being cared by her any more, it was the fact that she was in reaching distance of them if they one day truly needed her – though Ryan knew that would never happen.
"How can you just leave? Where are you going to get the money?" He insisted.
"I know some people."
"Oh, you know some people!" Ryan yelled sarcastically. "You mean AJ knows some con-artist who will give you dirty money and then you'll owe him afterward!"
"Ryan please calm down."
"I'll calm down when I want to calm down!" Ryan screamed.
At that moment Rachel walked into the room awoken by the racket with a look of concern on her face. "Ry', what's wrong?"
Ryan tried to ignore the fact that he was fuming at his mother on the other end of the line and spoke calmly to his sister. "Nothing, go back to bed."
Dawn was now silent and it was only then that he realised that she had heard what he had said to Rachel.
"Is that your sister?" Dawn asked urgently. "I want to talk to her."
"You're not going to go near her," Ryan growled.
Rachel was staring strongly at him now, instantly knowing whom he was talking to simply by the fury in his voice when he mentioned her. It had to be their mother; there was no one else in the world she could think of that Ryan wanted to keep her away from more.
Maybe Kurt, she thought, feeling a shiver travel down her spine.
"Ry'," Rachel spoke quietly, moving up to him and placing a hand on his shaking arm. "Just hang up."
Ryan turned and looked down at her, standing there before him, a soothing hand on his flesh, wanting him more than ever to not let Dawn win the fight. Rachel knew how he felt whenever he thought of the woman, how rejected and unwanted, and hurt she made him feel.
"Ryan? Ryan?" Came Dawn's frantic voice but he wasn't paying attention.
The phone slowly slipped down from Ryan's ear as he moved his hand down to Rachel's outstretched palm. When it finally touched her flesh she hit the 'end' key and the line was disconnected.
She remained standing there however, her hand still resting on Ryan's arm as she spoke.
"Are you okay?"
Ryan didn't know how to reply. How was he supposed to tell his baby sister that their mother, the very woman who was the root of all the problems they had ever faced was leaving their lives forever? Finally he thought that the truth – as he had always believed – was the best thing for her.
"She's leaving," he said though his voice was soft and low.
"I know," Rachel replied calmly and explained when he gave her a curious look. "I spoke to Theresa." Rachel ran her hand up and down his arm in a comforting manor. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"
Some would have found the question to have been an odd one, especially coming from a girl who had been the one needing comforting in previous times. But Rachel didn't care that it seemed unusual, maybe even ego crushing for Ryan to hear her, his little sister, ask if he wanted her to stay the night.
Rachel knew that out of the three Atwood children, Ryan had been the one hurt the most by their mother. She had seen less and less of Trey the older they became and being the young girl, Rachel herself on more than one occasion had been protected from the harsh reality of their family life.
Ryan had always been there to prevent anything from happening to her and at the same time causing only worse things to happen to him. He was not only disowned by his own mother after being thrown in jail, he had been beaten on by AJ, had suffered numerous times under her drunken state and was looked upon as the failed child.
"I'm okay," Ryan finally said. "Go get some sleep."
Though in reality he could have used her comforting presence Ryan didn't want to worry Rachel in any way. He knew well enough that she was aware of what their mother did to him, even if he could only hear her voice, but at the same time Ryan wanted to fight the pain himself. He didn't want to feel as though he had to rely on someone else to help him through it.
Rachel nodded slightly. "Okay," she said running a soothing hand over his cheek. "We've gotten this far Ry'…"
Ryan forced on a smile before giving her a light kiss on the forehead. "I know."
Rachel smiled up at him, "'Night."
TO BE CONTINUED………
(This is something that I am hoping to start doing for this story and that's writing back to your reviews, so I am able to show my appreciation for them and also answer your many questions and queries. Please keep in mind that I will answer all of the reviews I get before posting the next chapter and hopefully answer the other ones in the following. The next chapter begins the full plot and basically kick starts the entire storyline. It sees the entry of two new characters, one, which is familiar in the OC-verse, but one that is a new face for everyone but Ryan and with good reason too. Please Review.
SparkiMonkey : Thanks for description. I'm happy to be back too and I luv that you luv the flirty thing, I just thought it might be a bit cute considering their relationship always seemed to be so serious and neither of them really wanted that. After all they are both two people who are out to find the happier side of life, especially when they live in a place that is constantly surrounded by drama
Kitotterkat: Wow, that was scary, you know reading your impression of Rachel was like someone had gone into my mind and pulled out all of the ideas that I had of how I wanted her to be. That is so cool that I have been able to get that across in her character. And the whole, Ryan is her rock and Seth is her heart, that is the simplest way to put it. Ryan is the one she falls back on and can rely on to be there for her no matter what, he is the one who keeps her grounded and in control because he knows and loves her the most. And Seth is the person she has always needed in her life, the person who loves her for who she is and keeps her together. I totally get how you were saying when they aren't around things seem to turn bad. I think that's just because when they are cut off from her life Rachel feels as though she has lost the most important part of herself. Why is it that you think Seth and Rachel will break up? Obviously their relationship seems a little too good to be true but…interesting thought. And sorry, but I don't want to ruin anything which I have planned so you're just going to have to wait. Aren't I evil?
Bobbo: Ok you guys are starting to creep me out, you're thinking in the exact same way as I am. You know I was actually going to take Marissa to Vegas too, just so it didn't seem third-wheely, but then I thought about what I wanted to happen in Vegas and I realised that it would not pan out the way I hoped if she was there. Believe me, you'll understand later. :)
angel40689: It is great that you luv that they have gone to Vegas. I thought that it would be a good time to get them out of Newport and into a new environment just to get the plot and the story started. But don't think that just because they are in such a cool place means that nothing will go wrong. Vegas kicks starts everything that will happen in the story.