THE REPERCUSSIONS

Did I hear you right?
Cos I thought you said 'let's think it over'
You have been my life
And I never planned growing old without you

Almost Here
Delta Goodrem & Brian McFadden

Seth awoke that morning, his eyes burning, head pounding. It took him a few moments to regain his bearings, and recall fully what had happened the previous night.

He groaned slightly becoming aware that fingers were running tenderly through his hair and along his cheek. Seth opened his eyes and they came to focus on Rachel lying beside him. He stared at her for a long moment and if she was aware of this she did a good job of not showing it.

Rachel watched her hand as she trailed her fingertips down Seth's cheek, to his still bare chest, tracing lines upon his flesh. They travelled down his sternum leaving invisible patterns behind, all the way to his stomach. Finally she looked into his eyes letting her hand come to rest at his waist.

"How are you feeling?" She asked gently, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

Seth continued to gaze into her eyes, never letting them leave his. After a long moment he simply shrugged. "Like I've drank a three gallon drum of vodka."

Rachel smiled weakly at him. "You still wanna go to school?"

"Yeah," Seth replied. "My mum will freak if I don't."

Rachel nodded absently and kissed Seth lightly on the neck. "Well you should probably wear more than this unless you fancy being swarmed by girls who want a piece of you."

Seth raised his eyebrows at her. "What's wrong with that?"

"They'll all get their asses kicked by me," Rachel stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Seth smirked and groaned again cracking the kinks in his neck. He gave Rachel a soft kiss before kicking off the blanket and leaving the room to have a shower.

Once Rachel was sure that he was out of earshot she picked up her cell-phone and punched in Ryan's phone number. She hadn't seen him since the party and so was unsure of if he was in the house or not.

When the line finally clicked over Rachel spoke. "Hey, it's me."

"Hey," Ryan answered, his voice a mixture of tiredness and annoyance.

Rachel frowned suddenly when she realised that Ryan had not checked on her after the party even though he knew that she was upset. He'd let her go running to her room without even a second thought to see how she was afterward.

Pushing the thought from her mind Rachel spoke again. "Where are you?"

"Marissa's," Ryan answered not giving Rachel any real opportunity to hold a decent conversation.

"Is she okay?" She asked. "When I saw her at the party…I dunno…she just didn't seen all that with it."

"She's fine."

Rachel let out a breath, her mind ticking over at possible things to say to her brother. She didn't want to tell him straight out that she wanted him there with her. That she wanted to be able to talk to him about everything and nothing all at the same time. There was something about saying this that made her uncomfortable. It was as though she expected Ryan to turn around and say it was a stupid idea.

"Alright," she answered.

There was a long pause where Rachel went to speak at least three times before cutting herself off the moment before any words came out.

"So," Ryan finally began. "Why'd you call?" Rachel remained quiet for a time. "Rach?"

"Um…Sandy left last night," Rachel admitted quietly. "I just thought you should know."

"Jesus, what happened?" Ryan asked sounding in complete shock.

"I dunno," Rachel answered. "I walked in on Kirsten crying. He was there and…he told me to say sorry to Seth for him…and…he walked out." Rachel tried to keep her voice as level as possible but found it wavering from time to time.

"How's Seth?" Ryan finally asked.

Rachel took in a breath. "Not good. I stayed up all night just watching him sleep. I was so scared."

She heard Ryan swap the phone to his other ear before asking. "Why didn't you wait to tell me at school?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice," Rachel whispered. "It kinda helps."

There you go, Rachel thought. I said it. So why was it so damn hard?

She let out a weak laugh when Ryan fell silent. "It probably sounds stupid."

Deep down Rachel wanted Ryan to deny it straight away like he used to. She wanted him to tell her that he didn't care that she woke him up, that she could call at any time and he would be there for her.

"Look," Ryan began. "I'm sorry but I have to go, Marissa's up."

Rachel felt a pang of hurt in her stomach at Ryan's words. "Can't she wait?" She tried.

"Rach…"

Rachel laughed again. "No, I'm sorry. It's cool, don't worry about it," she lied.

"You sound fine Rach," Ryan stated. "Just hang for a bit and I'll see you at school."

For some unknown reason Rachel felt her eyes begin to burn as tears lingered behind their golden colours. "Yeah, um…it's cool," she tried, forcing back the emotions. "So I'll, uh, just…see you at school." The moment the final word had escaped her lips the line was disconnected and all she could hear was a tone. "…bye."

Up until the lunch bell rang Rachel had spent the entire day at school staring into space not really taking in any information, which the teachers tried to thrust into the student's minds. She was too worried about Seth and how he was going to deal with not having his father around the house any more.

As much as Rachel hated to admit it, she was also concerned about Ryan. She had no idea where she stood with him. If, at that moment something were to happen to her she would honestly admit to not knowing how he would react. If he would care or if he would simply ignore the matter. An obvious tension had begun to form between herself and her brother and she could only guess that it was because they were both completely preoccupied. Neither of them had any time for each other any more.

"Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere," Rachel said as she approached Seth at his locker.

Seth turned to her and smiled slightly as Rachel leaned casually against a wall beside him her eyebrows raised in hope of an explanation.

"I've been in the library," Seth answered.

Rachel looked at her boyfriend in a mock shock. "Don't tell me you're turning into a study freak," she said. "I dunno if I could deal with that."

Seth shook his head honestly. "I was just checking out some Death Cab music on the computer."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "God you're so emo."

"I could be an emu if you just change the last letter," Seth explained. "Then I could live in Australia and have knees that bend backward. That could be kinda cool."

Rachel half smiled at his comment which had come out as a completely random statement. She knew that Seth was aware that she had noticed his added playfulness since the previously night. He was obviously trying to hide his feelings with off-beat jokes.

Finally shutting his locker door Seth looked at Rachel. "I've got to go, okay?" He spoke before giving her a light kiss.

"What?" Rachel asked pulling him back to her as he went to walk off. "Why? I thought we were going to lunch."

"We were," Seth said kissing her again as a way of trying to redeem himself. "But something's come up."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it. All is good," Seth stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Rachel looked up at him strongly. "Seth…"

"I really have to go." This time Seth placed his hand under Rachel's chin in an almost motherly way. "I'll see you later." He kissed her one last time. "I love you." And he was gone.

Rachel went to call him back but decided there was no use in trying to stop Seth when he appeared to be on a mission. "Love you too," she said half-heartedly.

"You look mighty pissed off."

The voice made Rachel let out a sigh and turn to face Trent who stood behind her. "My boyfriend just blew me off," she replied bluntly and on seeing the suggestive smirk she received was quick to add. "Don't even say it."

Trent just laughed and shook his head. "You wanna get some lunch? I'm meeting some of the guys in the courtyard."

Rachel took one look back the way Seth had exited but realised he was nowhere to be seen. "Might as well," she answered but was quick to cut herself off as her eyes met Ryan's down the hall. "Actually, I might pass on that. I'll see you later."

She met Ryan half way and they both stopped and just looked at each other for a long moment not really knowing what to do. It crossed Rachel's mind that he looked unusually tired, as though a total lack of sleep had consumed his life.

In Rachel's mind she was screaming for Ryan to say something, no matter how unimportant or unrelated. She just wanted to hear the words of an older brother who used to be her saving grace. Who used to just look into her eyes and make everything okay. Rachel diverted her eyes from her brother then and let out a small laugh.

He's not gonna do anything, she thought.

Not being able to stand the silence Rachel turned and began to walk away. But within only seconds of her intended departure she felt a hand clasp around her wrist.

"Rach…"

Rachel stopped reluctantly but couldn't bring herself to turn and face Ryan. She didn't know what she would say to him. Would she apologise for walking away or would she scream at him for not being there the night before?

"What?" She finally asked him.

Ryan was in front of her then, forcing her to look at him although deep down that was the last thing she wanted to do. "Why'd you just walk away?"

Rachel remained quiet and looked up at her brother who seemed to be completely confused with her actions. "You're probably going to meet Marissa anyway so I thought I'd save you the trouble of having to make up an excuse for not being able to see me."

When Rachel spoke her voice was calm but telling. She didn't intend the words to be harsh, however, they came out as a cruel reality to her feelings.

Ryan frowned at her. "Why would I do that?" Rachel didn't answer and instead looked down to the ground. "Rach, come on, what do you want from me?"

"How's Marissa?" Rachel asked changing the subject. She noticed how Ryan flinched ever so slightly at the mention of his girlfriend's name. "Is she sick or something? I haven't seen her around lately."

Ryan looked down at her and hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, she has been for a while. Doctors said it was the flu."

"So you're looking after her?"

"You could say that."

She has her own family, Rachel thought. Why does she have to take mine?

"Okay," Rachel replied and went to walk away again but Ryan was quick to stop her.

"What are you doing?" He asked concerned.

Rachel stopped with a huff and turned to look at him. "Going to lunch."

"No, you're…" He looked at her strongly for a time before allowing his fingertips to brush a lock of hair away from her face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rachel lied.

"Rach…"

"What Ry'?" She asked becoming fed up.

Ryan let out a long sigh. "Is this about this morning?" He asked hoping to finally get a straightforward answer from her. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk but…"

"Marissa, right, I get it," Rachel replied bitterly.

"What's your problem?" Ryan demanded.

Rachel didn't want to answer, she didn't want to have to reveal to him that the very reason why she was upset was because of one of her good friends.

"Alright fine," Ryan finally said. "Don't tell me, I don't care."

I know you don't, Rachel thought to herself and turned her eyes away from Ryan so that he wouldn't see how deeply his words had cut her.

"I'm gonna go find Seth and talk to him about Sandy," Ryan continued. "Maybe get some answers from him."

Rachel watched as Ryan walked away, back in the direction her had come from, never once looking back to see her eyes close in complete defeat.

Seth tapped his fingers along the side of the school building as he waited for his father's reply on the other end of the line. It had taken every last ounce of his courage to be able to pick up his cell-phone and speak to Sandy about what had happened the previous night.

"Are you sure about this Seth?" Sandy asked, his voice full of worry. "You know you don't have to go through with it."

Seth shrugged though he knew his father couldn't see the gesture. "What else am I going to do?"

Sandy sighed at his son's comment. "There are lots of other things you can do," he insisted. "This isn't something that's going to be easy to take back."

"I don't want to take it back," Seth replied.

"You'll be surprised what you want to do once this is finished."

Seth scratched his nail across some black graffiti along the brick wall of the building. "It might not ever finish," he said having to force his voice not to wobble.

Sandy was quiet for a time. "I know son, but I don't want you to lose everything because you made a decision that you will one day want to take back."

Seth was quiet then for a time before he answered. "It's what I have to do."

Five days had passed since Sandy's initial departure from the Cohen residence and time dragged on in a seemingly endless fashion. Kirsten had done the only think she could think of to get her mind off the current situation; immerse herself in her work. So much so that it was now only on the rare occasion that she payed any form of attention to her former self and the way she operated. She had created an almost barrier between herself and the rest of the household, letting each and ever person know to be cautious with what they did and said around her.

Hailey had managed to make herself scarce, appearing every now and then to pick something up or drop something off. But her presence was still appreciated and she tried as hard as possible to restore the balance between Kirsten and the rest of the family. It occurred to Hailey on more than one occasion that she should possibly see if she could spend some time at Jimmy's house until things cooled down. But somewhere deep inside it broke her heart to think that she would be abandoning Seth in his time of need. She also felt that Rachel was leaning on her for moral support as well, even if she appeared to be handling herself perfectly fine on the outside.

Ryan was around the house less and less now and had almost taken up residence in the Cooper family home with Jimmy and Marissa. He watched Marissa as often as he could, making sure that nothing was going wrong and she remained happy and healthy. But the job was definitely beginning to take its toll on Ryan as he felt the bond between himself and Rachel become weaker by the day. He hadn't spoken to her since the incident at school and on the odd occasion worried about what it was exactly that his little sister was going through at that moment.

But it was not only Ryan who was pulling away from Rachel at a rapid pace. Seth had begun to not only distance himself from his girlfriend but also his family in general. He had been spending most of his spare time, locked away in his room with the stereo on, lying on his bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. He thought of getting up and talking to Rachel, not only about what had been happening of late, but also about what his plans were in relation to that. He knew he would have to some time. But it crushed him to think that he would have to speak of his father in a manner that did not place him as a regular member of the house.

There was a soft knock on Seth's door before Summer walked cautiously inside. From the sound of the music within she figured that he was still in the grieving stage.

Seth looked up from his spot on his bed and stared at Summer for a moment, not really registering her presence.

"Hey Cohen," she said. "Um, Hailey let me in. I just came to see how you were."

Seth continued to stare at her not being sure of how to react to this knew side of Summer that he'd rarely seen before. Her caring side.

Summer played with the rings on her fingers for a moment before glancing over at the stereo. She rolled her eyes before flicking the switch and turning the music off.

"You've got guts to mess with my tunes," Seth joked.

"Yeah well you have guts to be lying up here all by your lonesome," Summer replied.

"Why's that?" Seth asked not really wanting an answer.

Summer stood in silent thought for a moment before screwing up her face and realising what she had said made no sense. "Look, whatever, it doesn't matter. I totally know what I meant and that's all that you should care about."

Seth nodded his head in mock agreement before closing his eyes and staring into nothingness. After a short moment his peace was disturbed.

"Cohen, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Summer demanded.

"Trying to hypnotise myself into thinking I'm alone," Seth replied a little harsher than he had intended.

Summer sighed in annoyance. "I like, totally took the time to come over to you damn house and see how you are and you don't even, you know, like, care of whatever."

Seth couldn't help but smile. "How'd you get past Rach?"

"Huh?"

Seth waved his arm about. "How'd you manage to convince her to let you be in a room with me alone?"

Summer's eyes widened with hurt and she placed her hands on her hips with a huff. "What are you yammering about? For your information I happened to be totally good friends with Rachel now. We have been for a while."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah that is totally right. If you got off your ass and actually payed some attention to the poor girl you'd know that."

Seth didn't reply to the comment, mostly because there was no way that he could deny what Summer was accusing him of. He had been distancing himself from Rachel of late and though it was something that he hated himself for doing, he just couldn't stop.

"I bet you don't even know how she's like feeling about everything," Summer went on.

Seth frowned and looked over to her, sitting up in the process. "What?"

"Have you talked to her about it?" Summer asked. "Does she keep like a diary of something? How do you know that she isn't gonna turn around and dump your ass cos you haven't been spending time with her?"

Seth stared blankly at Summer and although he hated the thought, for the one moment that she spoke, he realised that she was right.

Ryan felt as though he was dying inside. He had just hung up the phone after a call from Jimmy saying that Marissa was becoming worse. He didn't know what to do. He was supposed to be the one who knew it all in a crisis. He knew the exact right words to say or the exact right person to punch. He was supposed to be strong, even if he was silently screaming from the pain within.

He didn't know how much longer he could last playing the role of the hero before he broke. Rachel was one thing but this was completely different. With his sister, he knew that he was all that she had, that every decision he made affected her somehow. But now with Marissa he knew that his influence did little if nothing to help her. She had other people in her life who cared, all that he could be was support.

Ryan was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice his little sister walk into the pool house and it was only when she sat beside him that he registered her presence.

Rachel simply stared at Ryan, not speaking, not pulling him out of his world of thought. She just watched him sit there, staring at the floor, breathing softly. Part of her wanted him to say something, to lift his gaze, smile and assure her that everything was alright. That there was nothing to worry about. But at the same time she wanted him to be honest for once. To finally admit that he wasn't as strong as he always made people believe.

Ryan recalled a time, which now seemed so long ago that was quite similar to the current situation only his and Rachel's roles had been switched. He had watched her cry herself to sleep in his arms as he tried with all his heart to deliver the news of her father to her.

He could still see her face, so empty and yet so full of pain and helplessness. Her entire world had come crashing down in a matter of seconds but she still found a place somewhere inside her that allowed Ryan the chance to be there. That gave him the opportunity to be the brother he always promised he would be.

Lately it seemed that matters had been thrown out of their control. He couldn't be there for her like he wished her could. Sometimes he didn't want to be there. If only for those few moments he wanted her to finally be able to fight for herself. He knew he would not always be in her life and that was something that she would soon have to get used too. But still, he wished that he could go back and change it all. That he could make sure the future ensured that he was always by her side.

Rachel let out a long breath before resting her head in the crook of her brother's neck. Like Seth, she knew that Ryan found comfort by her simply being close to him, just as she felt the same way.

In that time, there were no words spoken between the two. They simply sat there together, feeling every inch of emotions, which had plagued them for weeks now, and listening to the deafening sounds of silence.

Rachel walked into her room later that light but stopped dead in the doorway when she took in the scene inside. Seth was rummaging through a drawer of paper, stopping momentarily to read specific pieces.

Rachel couldn't believe what she was witnessing. How dare he go through her things.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She demanded.

Seth physically jumped at the unexpected voice and tried to put all of the sheets back into their original place. He was stopped however when Rachel moved to him and kicked the door closed with a loud bang.

"Answer my question," she spoke strongly. "What were you looking

for?" When no reply came she lost hold of her temper. "What the hell were you looking for?" She screamed.

Seth sat quietly for a long moment before Rachel noticed what was in his hand. A crumpled piece of paper. Slowly he flattened it out again.

"Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe some day you'll look out
And barely conscious you'll say to no one
'Isn't something missing'
You won't cry or my absence I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?"

Seth ended the quote and stood looking down on Rachel as he so often did. "I had to know how you feel," he said. "You told me you weren't leaving so right now I'm hoping that I'm not looking into the face of a liar." He turned and began to walk to the door only stopping when Rachel spoke.

"It's a song Seth," she said bluntly. "They're all songs."

Seth turned back to her as she sat down at the foot of the bed. "Then why does it seem real?" He asked.

Rachel remained silent for a long time trying to calm the anger within herself from what Seth was trying to pry out of her. "It's how I feel, yeah. But maybe you should try and read between the lines and not only see what you want too."

Seth looked at her for a long moment before his eyes began to scan the rest of the writing. As he did pieces began to jump out at him, jumbled and mixed.

I breath deep and cry out…
Even though I'm the sacrifice…
Isn't someone missing me?…
I'd die to know you love me…
I'll bleed knowing you don't care…

Seth's body went numb. He couldn't feel anything. His mind stopped. His hands went slack. The paper floated to the floor. "You're not," he said almost to himself in a sudden realisation of what the song was really trying to say.

Slowly Rachel pulled up the sleave of her jacket and with every inch Seth felt his chest tighten. What he saw was something beyond horrifying. Deep gashes were slowly healing upon her skin, starting from her wrist and ending at her elbow. Her entire forearm was scattered with crisscrossing wounds, some so deep that they still shone a raw red.

"I told you to stop," Seth managed. "I told you…"

"You told me a lot of things," Rachel replied quietly pulling the sleave.

Seth had a sudden urge to scream at Rachel, to yell at the top of his lungs until she listened. "What's wrong with you lately?"

"You should look at yourself to blame for things being wrong," Rachel stated before she had a chance to stop herself.

"Rach," Seth began moving to sit beside her. "Look at me." Rachel reluctantly turned her eyes to her boyfriend. "Don't do this because of what's going on with me. I'm sorry if I've put things on you lately but I never meant for this to happen."

Rachel nearly died inside simply by looking into Seth's eyes. They were begging her not to give in again as she had once done. In that instance she felt like burying her face in Seth's chest and crying until there were no more tears left.

"Don't do this because of me Rach," Seth continued. "I love you."

Casting her eyes down Rachel whispered. "You haven't loved me for a long time Seth."

Seth stared at her horrified. "That's not true," he insisted.

Rachel looked at his sadly. "Then why are you bags packed downstairs?"

Seth fell silent at the question but continued to stare at Rachel. She looked desperately into his chocolate-brown eyes wanting him to deny everything. Wanting him to lie to her.

"What's going on Seth?" She asked quietly.

Seth struggled for a time to find the words which would make his confession as easy as possible not only for Rachel but also for himself.

"I think – I mean, I know – that maybe we should spend some time apart. Just for a while. To get some perspective. I spoke to dad earlier during school and he's letting me go and stay with him."

The look that Seth received in response made him want to do nothing more than kiss Rachel and take away the sudden emotional pain, which plagued her. Her eyes seemed to have become darker, the normal sparkle they contained had vanished. Her lips were slightly parted in shock, her breath catching in her throat.

"You don't mean that," Rachel managed

Seth felt as though he could not have done something worse simply by the reaction he had been given. "I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't," he admitted watching as Rachel's expression turned from shock to pain and finally to distraught.

Rachel felt numb, she didn't know what to think, what to say. She felt her breathing become jagged and un-even, only worsening when Seth stood from the bed and began to walk away.

"No!" Rachel suddenly yelled going after him and forcing him to face her. "Seth don't make the same mistake I did. Please. I can't watch you go through that." The final words were weak as she fought to hold back the tears which threatened to escape her eyes.

Seth smiled down at her and let his finger trail down the side of her face. "I'll be fine-didly-ine."

This was the last thing Rachel wanted to hear and she immediately felt her firewall against her emotions crumble to the floor. Tears began to run down her cheeks. She couldn't believe what was happening. She was standing in front of Seth watching him make the exact same mistake she previously had. He was cutting himself off from the people that could help him.

"Rach," Seth began seeing the tears falling. "Please don't cry." He took her into his arms instantly feeling her cling to his shirt, never wanting to let him go. "It's not for long."

Rachel continued to cry on his shoulder as Seth ran a soothing hand up and down her back. Burying her face in the crook of his neck Rachel breathed in Seth's scent, sweet and welcoming. She could feel his pulse as he held her. It was beating so fast, faster than she ever thought it had. Being so close to him now made the tears fall harder when Rachel remember all the times when this very feeling had saved her.

Thinking this only resulted in Rachel clinging to Seth more desperately not wanting him to leave her. Moving her head up slightly she whispered so quietly that only he could hear the words. She was always only for him.

"Lie to me," Rachel spoke.

The words were muffled slightly by his neck but it didn't stop Seth from feeling the same tingling sensation he always did when Rachel's breath touched his flesh.

His shirt was now damp with her tears. Her own top crinkled from how tightly he was holding onto it. Seth only pulled her closer to him in an attempt to feel as though he would never let her go. He ran a single hand through her hair trying to take in as much of her as possible.

The words almost choked in his throat as Seth murmured his response. "It will all get better soon."

Rachel continued to cry even as she moved her face to look him straight in the eyes. "I love you."

Seth smiled down at her trying not to say anything just in case it made it harder to leave. Instead he kissed her lightly on the forehead before pulling away.

"What am I supposed to do?" Rachel asked.

Seth looked at her for a long time simply allowing himself to be mesmerised by her beauty. "Throw away the knife." And with that he turned and left.

Rachel stood frozen for what seemed like hours. Tears still ran down her face even as she attempted to wipe them away. Her chest hurt so badly that she thought her ribcage would break. She could feel her body trembling in the aftermath of what had happened not too much earlier.

Slowly her legs began to work and she walked in an almost dreamlike state through the residence. Without even realising, she found herself before the pool house wanting more than ever to see Ryan just for reassurance that she hadn't lost everything.

Pushing the door open and closing it quietly behind her, Rachel wrapped her arms around herself. The room was completely empty.

"Ry'?" She spoke softly walking over to the bed.

Rachel's eyes fell on a piece of paper resting upon the pillow. Picking it up she saw just how badly her hands were shaking.

Gone to Marissa's. Something came up. I'll be back later.

And that was it. At that moment Rachel felt everything fall around her. She collapsed onto the bed and lay there on her side clutching her knees to her chest.

It was all becoming too much too much. First Luke, then Sandy and now Seth. People she loves kept leaving her life. People who kept her from going over the edge. Her wrist began to burn subconsciously and Rachel battled to keep more tears from escaping her eyes. But she couldn't fight it. Not alone.

So she lay there, huddled and shaking and slow stream of tears rolling down her cheeks, feeling her heart breaking at the thought of not having Seth to hold her.

TO BE CONTINUED……..

(Hey guys, I'm soooo sorry for the long wait but I have been really busy lately. The kind of ironic thing is, is that I've had so long to write this chapter but I'm still not very happy with how the final product came out. :( Next chapter will be very interesting. You'll finally find out what's really going on with Marissa. Ryan's emotions go into overdrive and there are many consequences because of that. Seth's life begins in his new house and Rachel's beings her new life without him. Please Review)

Missing by Evanescence. Great song you should check it out!

Just have to quickly say THANK U so much for all the reviews. I was amazed how many I got for the last chapter. Keep em coming and I'll keep on writing!

Meezardra: You wanna know something funny? I didn't even think about trying to make Seth not look like a weakling when he was crying. Uh-oh I hope I did an okay job of it. I can't tell. I think a lot of people expected something to happen with Sandy and Kirsten they just didn't know what exactly. I wanted it to be a shock, and kinda come out of nowhere cos you didn't really see them fight all that much. But it kept coming up. I made sure that characters were constantly dropping hints to let you know that things were getting worse. As for the Kirsten/Jimmy thing, I'm not too sure how that one will pan out. They've always been close, but as far as 'close' goes, we'll just have to see.

Leentje: Thank you. it was definitely one of my fave chapters to write. I guess the whole thing with you liking that I got Seth/Rachel back together kinda backfired. I really thought that she had to forgive him for hitting her. It was really important and kinda a way of showing that she is growing up and she does see past the dark sides of people a little better now. As far as Kirsten/Sandy. Just wait and see what happens.

Stageglitter: Hi! Lol. Nice to get a review from you and thanks so much for all the compliments on the other stories too. If Josh Schwartz made a Rachel I think he would have a damn hard time finding someone who I think would really be able to play her well cos she's soooo complex and you never know where she's going or what she's thinking. It would also be tricky cos she's based on a few people which I think is why everyone is so convinced that she is written well. You could always give it a crack though. Lol. Thanks for loving the story and my twists and turns. Sometimes I shock myself with what I come up with. Lol. But that's a huge thing with me. I think it's really important to have plot twists and unexpected scenarios because that keeps the story fresh. Thanks for the review. Please write another one again.

Kitotterkat: Super? Hmm…interesting. Now you have to have like a new word for every review. Lol. It's good to know that you like Seth showing his emotions more, I think it's really important for him and it also shows just how much he does care for Rachel and trust her with everything. You predicted a roadblock and I think he made a pretty damn good one in this chapter. I love that you love how Rachel is growing up. I think it really shows her potential to actually have a positive outlook on life instead of always a negative one. It also shows that like Seth she is beginning to trust people more and put faith in herself to achieve things. She is also beginning to be put in situations where she can show that she is an extremely loyal and also protective person if she needs to be. Especially now when she is beginning to see exactly what it is that Ryan and Seth and Sandy and Kirsten have done for her, she feels its her responsibility to give something back. Nice pick up of the similarity. I didn't intentionally put it there, it's just something that I think is very realistic. Marissa and previously Rachel got to the point where they both had that sort of maternal, loving instinct to protect their baby and when that's taken away it is hard to deal with. Though with Rachel she had a lot of support. She had a supportive brother and a loving boyfriend and an entire group of family and friends behind her but because Marissa kept it a secret she doesn't have all that. This means it's harder for her. Wow. I really had no intention of making the line between Rachel and Ryan such a sad one. Lol. I just thought that at that moment Rachel was in a spot where she was able to kinda show Ryan how she was feeling about them moving apart. She doesn't want that to happen because she knows that Ryan is a huge part of her life. At the beginning of this chapter she kinda showed that. She does still need him. Especially now that Seth's gone. Super long review and super awesome. Keep em coming!

Snowboardbaby52: Aw, thank you. Hmm, that's and interesting thought about Marissa lying to Ryan so that he wouldn't forget about Rachel as much. I can honestly tell you right now though that it's not true. Just to clear it up. Marissa's storyline had to be the way it was to lead into what is starting to happen now. It just sort of started the chain reaction if that makes any sense. I think everyone wants Ryan and Rachel to make up. Lol. it is sad that they are growing apart now but I honestly think it was a long time coming. The reason why they were so close was because they had to be. The only thing they pretty much had was each other. But now, Ryan has Marissa and Rachel has Seth…well did have Seth. That final exchange between Ryan and Rachel was really important because you are starting to see that Rachel does still need and want him in her life, especially now that she's lost something which was so important to her. Wow, you've pretty much got Rachel down. Lol. That's exactly how I've always pictured her. Nice work! Though that golden-brown hair thing has changed a lot. I've lost track of what colour her hair is now. The last time it was said, it was light-brown with blonde streaks. Lol. I think she would be a cool person to hang with. She's someone who really knows herself and is really aware of the people and things around her. I like to hear this is one of your favourite stories. That's a good thing! Yay for that! I like writing back to you guys. If you took the time to read my story and write a review I think I should take the time to appreciate that. Plus I love to be able to talk about certain things within the story and to hopefully give you more understanding of what it is I'm trying to do. Sometimes even you give me more understanding. Lol. Thanks for the review. Keep em coming!

Sleepinbeauty: Wow, I feel special, I'm your first ever review. Yay Me! Thank you for supporting the story so much, it means a lot. Thanks for thinking I captured the characters well cos that something I am always paranoid about. Don't worry, even I was annoyed that Seth hit Rachel cos I am sooo against that kind of stuff but I thought that it was true to the character and it was something that had to be done. I think Rachel's pretty awesome too. I do love her and Seth but I also think that where I'm going with the story is neseccary too. Lol, after you said you re-read The Atwood Sister one and two I actually went back and read them for the first time like ever. Damn I've come a long way. lol. Thanks for the review

SparkiMonkey: Ok now that was just an evil review. Lol. I luv them but they're so hard to write back too. So I'm gonna do what you did and sum up. It's the easiest way to go. Lol. Grudge reference was something I've wanted to put in for ages just to pay homage to the first movie that's successfully managed to scare me. Yes I did come up with the Arturo comment. I honestly dunno where I pulled it from. Lol. I guess I was just in an inspirational mood. You haven't seen the last of Luke. I love his character and think he has a lot of potential and I really like his relationship with Rachel. The fun and humour with the party was something I put in on purpose cos I needed to show exactly where these characters were. Everything seemed to finally be making sense and Seth and Rachel knew where they stood with each other and then it all just fell apart. I honestly think that Rachel didn't feel guilty for hitting Steve but rather for letting him push her far enough to make her hit him. She doesn't want to let him mean something to her and make her feel things. Like when she said to Seth something like he makes her feel dirty. It's all well and good to say she should have beat the crap out of him, but she didn't want to have to feel those emotions toward a guy who wasn't worth it. Summer…aw. I do love her character, she's really unique. Lol. I will deal with her and keep in mind that I think I will be killed if I get her and Seth together. Wow, I'm getting killed from all angles right now. Lol. Nice threat by the way. I had to separate them, just like I had to separate Seth and Rachel. It's just the direction that the story is heading in and also the lead up to everything else. I do things to make other things make sense. Anyways thanks for the awesome review, keep em coming and I'll try to keep up with how long they are. Lol.