THE BROKEN

Forget about this trip you've been on or so it seems
And never mind the lies that you told my tears
Cos every little thing you said and every little thing you did
It made me doubt all of this

It's Not Me
3 Doors Down

Early the next morning Ryan walked into the Cooper home after spending the night down at the beach in an attempt to clear his mind and recollect his thoughts. However, despite hoping for some kind of miracle, nothing ceased the whirl of emotions which overpowered his mind.

"Hey," Marissa said from the top of the stairs. "Where did you go last night?" She walked down to meet Ryan as he stood looking up at her.

"Just out," he answered. "I had some stuff on my mind."

When Marissa reached the ground level she looked into Ryan's eyes with concern. "Do you want to tell me about it?" She asked hoping that he might open up to her.

Ryan screwed up his face slightly. "It's nothing."

In truth it was something but Ryan felt that he couldn't unload his problems on Marissa when it truth she was the cause of many of them. Though he didn't openly admit it, Ryan knew deep inside that the only reason why things were so difficult was because he had given in to Marissa's problems and made them his own.

"I made breakfast," Marissa said moving over to the kitchen. "Cold toast and eggs. You want some?"

Ryan forced a small smile before scratching his head. "Uh, yeah, sure," he answered.

Marissa busied herself behind the bench pulling out plates and crockery. "I didn't know when you'd be back so I left some aside for you," she commented bringing the pan of eggs and emptying a portion into Ryan's plate. "You know what Dad and Hailey are like when they see food. I was thinking twice about hiding it from view."

Marissa noticed how Ryan was quiet during most of the conversation. She looked up to see him staring down at the full plate of food. Something about his gaze let her know that he was paying little if any attention to her.

"And then a stork came and pecked out my eyeballs," Marissa ended. Still she received no reply.

Ryan felt Marissa place a hand against his cheek and turn his gaze to hers and for a long moment all that he did was stare. He didn't know what else to do. How could he hold a conversation when the thoughts in his mind deafened him? But in that moment Ryan realised something that he never had before. As he looked at Marissa he saw what could have only been vulnerability behind her eyes.

The more that he held her gaze the more he came to realise that it was something that would always be there. Ryan knew in that moment that there was nothing he could do, that there was never anything he could have done to help her. Marissa was not his responsibility. Though he loved her with all his heart and wanted nothing more than to protect her, he realised that it was not his place. She had people to care for her. She had a family.

"Ryan?" She asked.

He frowned at her then noting the worry in her voice but not reacting to it the way he thought he would. Instead of feeling guilty at not telling her what was really on his mind, he felt relief. In the weeks which had passed in which he had been trying to help Marissa, she had never once shown any sign of concern towards how her condition was effecting others. This had to be a sign.

"Is everything okay?"

Ryan's mind flashed back to his final conversation with his sister. He remembered her anger and frustration towards him, her desperate pleas for him to stop being such a child and realise where his loyalties lie. He remembered the snap of her palm against his cheek.

He had abandoned her. Again. Leaving her with no one who truly understood her. Who could protect her. Ryan had become the person whom he always dreaded Rachel would become an acquaintance with. Someone who said that they would always be there and then one day turn around and not want anything to do with her. It sickened him.

No, Ryan thought in his most honest moment in recent times.

"I'm gonna make it okay," he said before turning and walking out the door leaving Marissa behind.

Rachel stepped into the hallway that morning and literally felt her heart stop as at the sounds which drifted toward her from the kitchen. Seth's voice filled her ears but along with it came one which Rachel thought she would never hear again. Ryan.

"So how's Marissa doing man?" Seth asked casually.

There was a short pause which Rachel used to take a step closer to the kitchen door. "Yeah she's doing a lot better."

The moment Rachel appeared in the doorway Ryan immediately stopped talking and looked at her in an almost stunned fashion. Though part of Rachel was rolling her eyes at her brothers sudden appearance back in their lives, another part of her deep inside was utterly relieved. By the look she was getting from Seth she figured that the not-so-impressed side of her thoughts was being shown.

Seth took a quick look from Rachel to Ryan before slapping his palm against his forehead. "You know what? I've left some…uh…school stuff upstairs." He knocked his knuckles against the top of the counter for a moment. "Yeah, I'll be right back."

Without waiting for a reply he turned and began to walk out but not before he brushed his hand lightly against Rachel's as a sign of letting her know that he was there for her.

Rachel took one look at Ryan before she stepped fully into the kitchen and began to prepare her breakfast without showing even the slightest interest in Ryan and for a time he didn't seem to be effected…

"Can we talk?" He finally asked.

Rachel slammed the fridge door closed with a loud thud. "Some of us actually have school," she replied coldly.

Ryan was quick to answer. "I'm back now – school I mean. Marissa doesn't really need me much any more so I decided to go back." He waited for a reply, watching as Rachel made her beverage of choice. "You don't drink coffee."

Rachel almost fully ignored him. "I do a lot of things you don't think I do."

"Look Rach…"

"You know what Ryan, save it," she stated spinning around to face him head on. "I don't want your explanations and sure as hell don't want your fake attempt at being my brother."

Ryan stared at Rachel, shocked by her words but understanding them at the same time. "This isn't fake," he insisted.

"Just like Marissa was sick?" She threw back at him.

"That was different."

"Bullshit!" Rachel yelled her voice strong and resistant. "You straight out lied to me and it's not the first time."

Ryan let out a long sigh trying to figure out what he could possibly say that wouldn't end in Rachel getting even more upset. "I had to help her."

Rachel almost laughed at his comment. "Marissa has a family who care about her more than you ever could. You didn't have to run off when your family needed you the most and be the knight in shining armour."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here."

Rachel held Ryan's gaze for a long moment. "You're sorry?" A frown crept slowly across her features. "Sorry for what? Never being around after Sandy and Seth left? Or you're sorry because you weren't there three nights ago when Seth dragged me to the hospital because Steve thought it would be fun to get one of his guys to play Kick The Rachel?"

Ryan's heart sank at her words. His breath caught. His hands clenched into tight fists.

"What?" Rachel asked innocently. "Shocked? Surprised? Realising that while you were 'helping' Marissa I fractured two ribs and was bleeding internally?"

"Rach I…"

Rachel looked up at her brother then, allowing her eyes to lock with his and in that moment he understood. Everything. He knew why everything had happened the way that it did. Not only did he understand the tension but he understood the pain. He had left. He had made a choice, a bad choice and he now had to deal with the consequences.

"Rach, I'm sorry I don't know what else to say," Ryan pleaded.

Rachel watched him for a moment, her gaze cold and hard. "You're not sorry."

Ryan frown at his sister's blunt response. "Look, you don't…"

"Don't tell me I don't understand!"

"Then what do you want me to say?"

"Nothing Ryan," she answered, saying his name as though it were poison. "I don't want anything from you."

Ryan stood silent for a long while and simple watched his sister as she went about her business. So many thoughts ran through his mind, each one overlapping with the next. After a long moment he spoke.

"I care about you. I want to help you."

Rachel stopped moving and leaned her hands against the counter top. "Then where the hell were you when I actually needed you?" She turned slowly to face her brother. "If you care so much then why is it that the only reason I feel like this is because of what you've done?" Her tone was brutal and challenging.

Ryan froze at her words, the force colliding with him head on. He had no idea how to reply. He didn't want to disagree with her accusation because it would be a downright lie. But he also couldn't agree because that would be admitting to the unforgivable things he had done.

"I didn't mean…" he tried.

"God, spare me," Rachel cut in. "Marissa needed help. I get it. It's been drummed into my head for how long now?" When Ryan didn't reply she continued. "I'm so sick of having to pretend like you can walk in and make everything better." Rachel looked down to the floor. "Because this time you made everything so much worse. You lied to me and I can't forgive you for that."

She turned to leave but Ryan was quick to call her back. "Rachel will you just stop dammit?" He screamed at her. "You're the one screwing things up now." He waited for her to stop moving before he continued. "You think that I lie? What the hell do you call what you do with Seth then, huh? You're supposed to love him but you've kept so much from him its not even funny. But he trusts you because he knows that he has no other choice."

Rachel wield around at the accusation. "What the hell gives you the right to say that you bastard? You don't know anything about that."

"That's bullshit," Ryan attacked finally giving up on the civilised approach. "He loves you Rachel!"

"This isn't about Seth, Ryan so stop trying to lay the blame on someone else. You left…you."

"You could have stopped me from walking out."

"I tried."

"You hit me!"

"You slammed me against a God-dammed wall you jerk." Rachel could feel her hands shaking as the adrenalin coursed through her body. "Even if I did try. Even if I set up a freakin roadblock you still would have gone because you knew that Marissa meant more to you then this family."

Ryan fell silent and even as he saw Rachel fighting off the tears which burned at the back of her eyes he knew that she was right.

"So you can pretend that I'm making all this up and that you were right all along. You can do that. But don't you dare forget what your grand plot did to people that you're actually supposed to give a damn about."

Everything being said and done, Rachel turned, poured her now cold coffee down the sink and walk out of the room leaving a stunned and hurt Ryan in her wake.

Summer swung her legs back and forth underneath the cafeteria table where she sat with Seth. "So…" she began. "How are…things?"

Seth looked up at her and shrugged. "Things are good, I guess."

"Good." A silence fell over the pair before Summer spoke again. "You know I haven't spoken to Rachel in like…ever."

"Yeah," Seth answered. "She's been kinda preoccupied."

Summer screwed up her nose at his comment.

"What?"

Summer shrugged. "Preoccupied?."

"Rach is fine. She's just…dealing with stuff."

Summer chewed her bottom lip for a time. "Huh…" she sighed in thought.

It didn't take Seth long to realise that there was something he had missed. He was getting used to the signals which Summer sent off, sometimes without even meaning too. But there was no mistaking them.

"What?" He asked.

Summer shook her head. "Nothing."

"No you don't go 'huh' without there being something."

"Jeez paranoid much?"

"Summer."

The young beauty shrugged. "I dunno it's just weird you know?"

"No, I don't know, that's why I'm asking you."

Summer let out a long breath before leaning her elbows on the table. "Okay, just like say that she isn't totally fine right. How would you know?" Seth stared blankly at her. "See that, right there, that's what I mean."

"That makes the kind of sense that…not." But Seth knew exactly what she was talking about; he just wanted to see how much he could get her to tell him.

Summer glared at him. "Cohen, you totally know I'm making sense you're just being an ass."

Seth sighed. This was going to take a while.

Seth swivelled back and forth on his desk chair chewing on the end of his pen as he did. He tapped it against his front teeth before murmuring a quiet 'ow'.

"Don't hurt yourself," came a soft whisper from behind him

Seth could feel warm breath against his neck and a slight shiver ran down his spine. But before he could react Rachel was in front of him, sitting casually upon the desk. She looked at him, her eyes saying something Seth couldn't quite read. But he knew it was there.

Reaching out, she took the pen from between Seth's teeth and tossed it onto the pile of paper sprawled out beside her, crossing her legs almost seductively.

"I kinda…need that to…do homework," Seth managed with a little less confidence than usual.

Rachel titled her head slightly. "Homework?"

Seth smiled sheepishly forcing his eyes away from her legs, which were moderately exposed from beneath the skirt she was wearing. He gulped slightly when she continued to stare at him. But again he saw that sign behind her eyes. That lack of happiness. An almost need to be understood.

Rachel only smiled before moving off the desk and pushing Seth against the back of his chair. "Screw homework," she murmured straddling his waist and looking into his eyes.

Normally Seth wouldn't have had a problem with her actions. The girl I love is practically throwing herself on me, he thought. But a voice in the back of Seth's mind was still screaming at him to make her stop. Something wasn't right about what she was doing. He could tell. He knew her too well. But the way she was looking at him…

Seth soon found himself ignoring his instincts and giving in to her breathtaking kiss. His hands wondered down her back, brushing against her side and hips but he pulled up short when he heard her take in a sharp, painful breath.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

Rachel shook her head and was quick to answer. "Nothing," before capturing his lips again.

"You're still hurt," Seth began. "Why are you doing this if you're still…?"

"Seth, just shut up," she whispered entangling her fingers in his hair.

Seth pulled away. "Rach, what's gotten into you?" He couldn't hide his suspicion any longer.

"Nothing yet," she murmured almost huskily into his ear.

Seth felt his hands grip her hips a little tighter but was quick to shake off the feeling and frowned. "Okay, time to stop." He stood, lifting her with him and dropped her lightly onto the bed before staring down at her. "You sound like a royal dumbass for saying this Seth," he rambled. "But Rach, we can't do this."

Rachel stared back at Seth in total shock and soon found herself sitting up. "Fine," she stated going to get off the bed.

However, Seth wasn't finished. "No, wait," he said taking a hold of her wrist.

"Don't touch me," Rachel hissed but was cut short when Seth kissed her forcefully knowing that it would stop her in her tracks faster than any words ever could.

She pulled back with a gasp moving away from him and Seth let out a long breath before grabbing her and practically throwing her onto the bed. "I really hate doing this," he said dodging the blows that Rachel aimed at him. "Mostly because I'm putting my safety at risk." Again he dodged a hit. "But…" Finally giving up Seth leapt on top of her pinning her arms down to the mattress. "Superman Cohen has to do what he has to do." Seth paused for a time. "Don't do all this to get my attention. Just tell me what's wrong."

Rachel looked up at Seth, her expression one of pure hatred and spoke in a sarcastic tone. "You know, for someone who was turning down sex a minute ago you're not really doing too well."

Seth looked down at her before he finally registered the position they were in. He slowly let go of her wrists and rested his elbows on either side of her. He simply gazed at Rachel as she layed pinned beneath him before letting out a breath.

"Are you cutting again?" he asked quietly. "The first time you did, this happened."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Sorry baby but that wasn't my first. You weren't my first in any aspect."

"See, this is what I mean!" Seth exclaimed. "You're not acting like you and I know something's wrong and I don't understand why you just won't tell me." Seth looked at her expectantly. "Rach I might look stupid but I'm…well stupid – but not always."

Rachel remained silent for a time. "Get off me Seth."

Seth rested his forehead against her collarbone and let out a long sigh. "Rach…"

"Look," Rachel finally said. "You're either gonna go against what you said before and take advantage of the position you're in or you're gonna minimise your chances of getting hit by getting off me."

Seth reluctantly shifted his weight and Rachel sat up practically pushing him away before he pressed his lips to hers. She was quick to break away and stare at him, his eyes showing confusion.

"Get it somewhere else," she said, her voice cold. "You blew your chance."

Rachel walked through the streets later that evening as the sun began to slip below the horizon. She wasn't really sure where she was going, just that she knew she had to get as far away from the Cohen house as possible. She didn't think she could face Seth, not after what she did, what she'd said. And Ryan…

She violently kicked a stone which lay unmoving on the ground and watched as it shot through the air before vanishing from sight. She didn't know how to get rid of the frustration which was building so quickly inside her. There was nothing anyone could say, nothing she could do.

And the pain, one that was so familiar to her that it was almost frightening, it just wouldn't go away. Rachel couldn't help but want to scream at Seth for his response to their earlier conversation; if you can call it that. All she wanted was for him to make her feel something that wasn't pain. It didn't have to be love, it didn't have to be happiness. It could have been anything and it would have made things a little better.

But another part of her was grateful that he had not taken things further. It wasn't what she had truly wanted and he could easily see that. Despite what anyone thought, he knew her incredibly well.

Rachel stopped walking when she stood before the front door of a house that was so familiar to her now that she wasn't consciously aware that she had even walked to it. Pressing the doorbell she waited, her eyes trailing over the roses which lay along the border of the front garden.

Suddenly the door swung open and a caring smile greeted her. "Hey Rach," Luke said before standing aside and silently inviting her in.

Ryan lay sprawled out on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling as though it could cave in at any moment. He wished it actually would. Maybe then he wouldn't have to deal with what was happening in his life. He wouldn't have to face the fact that he'd made a mistake. He'd let his guard down and he'd hurt the people he loved.

Ryan had been paying special attention to Kirsten and Sandy that night at dinner. As the family sat around the table, Rachel with her head down, Seth looking awkward and he, himself feeling extremely out of place, he'd noticed how his adopted parents seemed so comfortable.

Ryan was happy for them. After everything which they had been through over the past few months he felt that they deserved to finally find some happiness. They could finally find a way to forgive.

Sometimes he wished it was that simple with Rachel. Just switch a button and she would be herself again but he knew it wasn't going to happen that way. The relationship he had with his sister was far to different from Sandy and Kirsten's. they had been through so much more, surviving only because of each other.

Until I left, Ryan though. Again.

It had never escaped his mind that this was the second time which he had abandoned his sister. Ryan had walked out on her twice, and each time when he knew that she needed him the most.

He could remember the first time. He'd left late at night with Trey to steal the car. Walking into Rachel's room he had knelt beside her bed and simply watched her face as she slept, looking so peaceful. He knew that what he was about to do would be a lie to her. He would break a promise that he meant so much to keep. She didn't want him to go. Part of him didn't want to either.

When he'd realised that Dawn had taken her away he felt that she had given up. Rachel no longer needed him and so he left with Sandy to begin a new life. Little did Ryan know that in that moment he had destroyed his sisters childhood forever.

It had been a chance phone call to Theresa that had let him know that Rachel and his mother were back in their old house. To let him know that Rachel was there with his ex, in the same room at that moment, watching her face as Theresa handed her the phone.

The rest didn't matter now to Ryan and as he continued to stare at the ceiling he began to question whether his bringing Rachel to New Port was the right decision. She'd never complained about living in Chino. Never once let on that she wanted to leave her home and move on with her life. He questioned whether she was here because she wanted to be or because he had forced her to be.

Night fell upon the Cohen house and Seth wondered into the kitchen hoping to find some leftover dinner. As his feet dragged along the tiles he ruffled his wavy locks slightly and let out a tired groan. Letting his gaze travel to the window he listened to the lull of the conversation in the next room.

"You can't just be there in what you say," Jimmy spoke. "It has to be a physical thing too."

"Jimmy, there are other ways to ask for sex," Hailey answered.

A short pause followed in which Seth caught a glimpse of someone sitting on one of the poolside chairs. He watched as they remained unmoving for a time before finally leaning forward, head in hands and fingers tangled in their short blonde locks.

"You asked me why I thought things happened they way they did with Kirsten and Sandy," Jimmy replied. "I'm not talking about sex."

"It could have been a factor," Hailey suggested.

Part of Seth was shutting out the conversation now, not being too sure he wanted to know where it was headed. He'd had enough of things related to sex for one day. Especially when none of it was happy, fun stories about two people.

"I don't think it was a factor," Jimmy said though part of his tone was unconvinced. "When you try to verbalise things saying 'I'll be there for you' it just never seems to work."

"So you're saying that the reason things went bad was…"

"Because they could never get through to each other without words. Sometimes that is the best way to show that you care."

But by this time Seth's mind had wondered from the conversation and instead he opened the back door and stepped out into the cool night air. His eyes gazed across at the dark pool house showing that Ryan had gone called it a night and finally gone to bed.

Seth forced back the need to shiver and removed his jacket wrapping it securely around Rachel's bare shoulders. He sat beside her and took her into his arms, kissing her hair lightly as he did. Catching a glimpse of her closing her eyes in response he nuzzled her neck slightly, breathing in the strawberry scent of her hair.

Part of Seth wanted to lock Rachel and Ryan up in a room together and let them scream and yell until they were blue in the face. But he knew their problems couldn't be solved so easily. He knew that unlike him, Ryan had a duty when it came to Rachel, to not only be her brother but to also be her guardian. Sometimes Seth himself even found this hard to grasp, but he knew, somewhere deep inside, exactly what this meant for their relationship when the duty was broken.

Sitting there now watching the slight rise and fall of Rachel's chest Seth knew that he had to listen to Jimmy's words. Rachel wouldn't open up to him verbally, he knew that for a fact. Though there had been times he remembered, before he left where she had begun to show him a side of her he had never known, Seth knew his and Ryan's betrayal was the reason why she had yet again shut herself off.

Seth's thoughts were interrupted however when he felt light, delicate fingers entwining with his own. Slowly Rachel relaxed into his touch and allowed his finger to glide gently through the length of her soft hair. She sighed as Seth kissed the base of her neck.

Eventually she leaned back into her boyfriend knowing that he could feel the tremble of her body against his. Knowing that he hated that he couldn't stop it but honestly not caring. All she wanted was to feel something other than she was at that moment. She couldn't bare it. Her chest ached. Her mind spun. But there was nothing she could do. She couldn't get rid of the dread.

Seth tightened the hold he had around her waist. "Talk to me," he breathed trying anything he could think of to make her tell him what was wrong and how he could fix it. "Tell me what's going on."

Rachel turned her body slightly so that she could face her boyfriend and looked into his eyes. He stared back at her silently pleading for her to say something. Anything. But after a moment she simply leaned forward and buried her face in the crook of his neck wanting nothing more than for him to hold her.

"I can't," she replied to his question, her voice weak. "I don't know what to say."

Seth ran his finger through her hair. "Anything, I don't care." He looked at her gently. "What happened earlier?"

A long silence stretched around them. "I didn't want to feel it any more," Rachel whispered. "I couldn't…"

Seth gazed at her. "Feel what?"

Rachel shook her head and Seth let out a long breath. He watched the light of the moon as it danced upon the pools surface reflecting onto them and causing a glow to emit off Rachel's flesh. Feeling Rachel curl closer to his body Seth closed his eyes and kissed her head softly. He knew it was going to be a long fight.

From the darkness of the pool house Ryan watched his sister and his friend sitting by the water. He could feel his chest tighten at the thought that it was he who had made her act this way. He wanted to scream, to hit something and cause himself the very same pain that he had caused Rachel.

Ryan went to reach for the doorhandle before pulling back short as he noticed Rachel lift her head, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Seth let his fingers run over the side of her face before kissing her softly only strengthening Ryan's anger. He was supposed to be the person who cared for Rachel. He was the one she was meant to run to when she needed someone. But as he stood there watching Seth holding her he felt a brick at the pit of hit stomach. Maybe she didn't need him any more.

He spun around and stalked back into the darkness of the pool house, never once looking back and never once noticing Rachel's eyes flick toward the very spot he had been standing only minutes ago.

Ryan had been pacing for almost an hour now. Seth had walked in just to see how he was doing. To make sure everything was alright. Ryan had simply stared at him as he walked around the pool house making light-hearted jokes and commenting on the lack of new comics, which his friend had. He'd then settled himself down and pulled out the Playstation to take out some of his own frustration's on the animated characters.

Ryan had stood and watched him play for a while, his eyes fixed on the figures running around on the screen shooting fireballs and hurling axes at each other. But after a time not even that could distract him. Eventually he decided that he couldn't take the feeling any longer.

"I'm outta here," Ryan said picking up his jacket though he knew he had no intention on leaving the property.

Seth waved to his absently, transfixed by his game.

Ryan took one last look at him before dropping his jacket again and walking out of the pool house.

Ryan pushed open the door and as he stepped into the room was confronted with something that knocked the breath from his lungs. He froze to his spot, mind going blank for a time. The only thing that he could comprehend was the deep crimson blood trickling down her flesh and the glistening blade which lay in her lifeless hand.

Ryan remained unmoving and if not for the shallow rise and fall of her chest he wouldn't have known she was alive. She sat upon her bed, arms resting on her legs, eyes staring blankly at the deep, brutal cuts which lay along her wrists allowing the blood to drip onto her knees below. Dark red droplets stained her jeans and flesh.

Ryan stood frozen to his spot barely being able to breathe at the scene layed out before him. At that moment he wished he could die, wished he could run until his legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground.

Watching as Rachel remained still Ryan felt his legs begin to regain their motor skills and took an uneasy step forward before slowly following it with another. Cautiously he walked up to the bed and stood before Rachel. Again he watched her until the knife slipped from her hand and fell in an almost low motion to the floor.

Gently sitting down beside his little sister, Ryan couldn't find the words to speak to her. His mind was blank. The only thing he knew was the deep red which covered Rachel's arms. His eyes refused to leave them, even as he tried desperately to force his gaze away.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity words began to form on his lips, almost choked by the tears building behind his eyes. "I love you Rach," he whispered. "I care about so much that it hurts. I want to protect you. I want to be able to shield you from everything that might stop your chances of living out every day the way you should." Ryan paused then as he felt the first tear glide down his cheek and saw Rachel close her eyes against his words. "But the more I try, the more I think that I can't do it. And I realise I've failed you by not stopping this from happening." Ryan reached out and touched Rachel forearm. "I should have stopped it but I screwed up. I forgot to keep you strong. I just assumed that you could handle anything that was thrown at you. I thought you'd be okay but…" Again Ryan paused. "I'm so sorry."

With three simple words Ryan broke down Rachel's wall, something which she had been building her entire life. It crumple before his eyes bringing down everything which had ever been kept inside down with it. Years of agony and despair crashed down around them. Times of torture and pain. Of complete helplessness. Losing her brothers. Her past with Marsal. Her relationship with Kurt. Every emotion which was represented by the markings along Rachel's flesh. By the tattoo's upon her body. By the memories kept deep inside.

Tears steamed down Rachel's face, falling so fast that they soon began to drop onto her arms spreading the blood which lay there. She could feel her body collapsing under the emotions with no way of fighting them off. She just couldn't any more.

Ryan had never seen Rachel like this, so broken, so vulnerable. She watched as her body collapsed under the pressure and fell against his own as he encircled her in his arms feeling her shaking violently against him. Her blood stained his arms and her tears wet his shirt but in that moment Ryan knew that it was finally over. Everything which had represented the need to shut out her past was now gone. It was now that Rachel could finally fight the way she had always intended too but was never quite sure how.

She could now finally find some peace.

TO BE CONTINUED………

(wow its definitely been a while and I apologise a million times over for that cos I know how much I hate it when I'm waiting for months for a story to be updated. But drama, drama, drama! I've been swamped with work, and school and I dislocated my knee, which made matters worse, and so it's taken me a long time to get around to writing this chapter. But I made it extra long which I hope gets me kinda back into the good books :)

Please Review.)

Kitotterkat: Thank you thank you. lol. It's good that you loved it. I liked bringing Seth and Rachel back together but no one ever said it would be smooth sailing. And yeah Ryan is being pretty extreme but you also have to remember that he is dealing with things as well. Just because he doesn't show it as much as other people doesn't mean it isn't there. And it's not so much that Marissa is more important it's that Ryan and Rachel have not had the old relationship they once did recently and so both their priorities have shifted slightly.

Leentje: Aw thanks heaps. It's great to know people enjoy this story so much. It's nice to know that Rachel is moving somewhere and don't worry, everything involving what's been happening with her and Ryan will be addressed. Only a couple more chapters to go now so everything will tie in and be resolved, no matter how dramatic it may seem.

Meezardra: Hey! Uh, yes I see you have caught onto Luke's feelings. I don't think that he'll never not have a little something of interest toward Rachel. Look back at the last story where he told her that he liked her and then see her reaction. That alone has obviously made him back off and look at things from a different angle. He doesn't want to screw up things with her and Seth so he does back off, but then at the same time he is also trying to build some type of relationship with her where he feels that it almost compensates for what he can never have with her.

Dramatic Addiction: Wow thanks so much. That's such a compliment that you think the story rocks. I don't mean to make people cry I swear! But I luv to write the heavy scenes and to play with the characters minds and actions a bit. It keeps it more interesting. Thanks for the review