Chapter 15: 8 ½ President? Is that really a thing?
Sorry for the wait. My laptop not only got a huge crack, but the how thing is completely messed up whenever I try to use it the mouse would go over somewhere else and start glitching and clicking on things that I don't want to click on or to have open. So I'll be getting a new one as for the time being, I manage to save this story and most of my others on a drive and when I do get a new laptop everything will be transfer over to the newer one. So, for now, bare with this for me as I try to update on my family's computer.
I've also been jumping from chapter to chapter to wright down my ideas ahead of time so that I won't forget them in the future. Plus with my job for the season it takes a toll on me when it comes to wanting to rest up and continue where you left off, but still have enough time to rest up for getting to work on time the next day. I am human, not a robot.
Update: got a new laptop, still getting use to it, and was trying to get this chapter finish when you're struggling to get ideas or motivation to wright.
"Remind me why all of us are going into town again?" Arackniss ask Charlie as to why they are cramped in her limo. "Do you have sort term memory loss? Besides shopping for food and clothes, there's been talk of an event here in town." Said Charlie, "I know that! I meant why do we have to be cramped into the limousine? Why couldn't we just walk there or take the damn bus? And I don't have short term memory loss!" Arackniss replies sulky, "All I'm saying is we should have our own transportations instead of being cramped into one limo."
Charlie raise her hands in surrender before putting some thought to Arackniss' statement, "Okay, you make a valid point." "Ughhh..." Cherri's loud groan got everyone's attention, "What the hell is up with this traffic? We're moving at an old bag's walking pace." It's true the limo was driving slower than usual. Angel looks out the window, as a confusing expression appears on his face. "I know some of us has been dead for a longer time, but do people still sometimes drive covered wagons to this day?" Everyone look at Angel as if he has three heads. Vaggie raised an eyebrow, "What?" everyone looked out of the windows and true to Angel's words there are covered wagons diving all around.
What the fuck is up with this town?" said Husk, "This must be the event." Charlie says overjoyed of her choices, "Well this explains the traffic." Alastor commented, the sound of sudden tiers screeching to break followed by shouting's of "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!" the car was only an inch or two of how close Stan Pine was to crashing into the limo in reverse. And something tells the demons that this day is going to be a long one.
Everyone exited the limo after quickly checking that there were no traces of any of their demonic features, to see everyone in town were enjoying their festivity. The Pines got out of their car too, "Any reason why you were recklessly driving in reverse and nearly damage our ride?" Vaggie demanded, and Stan reply, "If you were running away from this apocalypse, you would do the same!" Dipper pulls out a post card of Main Street in its olden days, "Man. Look at the town." Niffty looks over his shoulder to see the photo, but when Dipper lowers it the town is in a sepia shade just like on the photo. "Did we just go back in time?" Niffty ask. But it turns out that it was only two guys carrying a pane of "Dirty glass. We got dirty glass! Dirty glass." "That was strangely timed." Cherri commented.
Looking around the old fashioned-looking of Gravity Falls' Main Street, Husk ask the question that was on everyone's mind. "So what the hell is this?" "Yeah Stan, what's the occasion of this event?" Charlie ask eagerly, Stan moans in displeasure and says, "Ah, boy. It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded." Toby Determined walks over to the group with newspapers under one of his arms and one in his hand, "Welcome to 1863!" he greets them. Stan rolls up his sleeve and made a fist at the gross old reporter, "I will break you, little man!" he threaten, causing Toby to flee in terror and crashes into a barrel, and loose all of his papers.
To the new comers who hasn't known the towns old reporter, were either shock or curious to their acquaintances laughing at the gross man. "If you'd be here as long as us, you'd laugh too." Angel answers their puzzled expressions. The younger twins looks around seeing people doing various activities, Mabel points over to a small group of people, "Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" they see Old Man McGucket giving a demonstration on gold panning, saying "Gold!" as he fishes for gold, "Whoa, gold panning!" Dipper exclaimed. "This is bringing some old memories back." Said Baxter, "Quite nostalgic." It sometimes comes to a surprise to everyone that some of the sinners were dead nearly 100+ years ago, "Oh my god, you guys are so old." Vaggie whispers to those closer to her.
Charlie gasp and points excitingly at what she's seeing, "Vaggie, look! A wedding!" but her excitement quickly drains when she sees who are the bride and groom. The priest made his vows to a man and a... woodpecker? "I now pronounce you man and wife." The female woodpecker pecks on her now new mate's hand, who happily cries, "I do!" Every resident of hell stares at them in disgust and weird out of what's transpired. Mabel crooked her head and ask, "What chu talking 'bout?" a flash of realization in Dipper's eyes, "Oh yeah. I remember this." He takes out the Journal 3 and finds the page of where he read this scene. Everyone looks in over his shoulders as he re-reads the line to everyone, "In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers." They all let out a breath of relief knowing that this is only an event they're reenacting, but the married man walks over to them and corrected them, "Oh, it's still legal." Before he puts a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched. "Very legal." Everyone leans or backs away from the creepy guy while Arackniss mutters, "Mio Dio." "Si" Angel and Molly agreed with their brother.
"Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!" the announcer shouts, as the man and his woodpecker wife walks away to the ceremony stage. "Grunkle Stan, you coming? Maybe we can find a horse named Rex!" everyone turns to Mabel with a bewildered look, except for Alastor who thought that was a fun idea. "Why would anyone name a fucking horse Rex?" said Husk, when a sudden shout, "HEY!" made everyone turn to a man riding a horse, "I would appreciate to not insult my horse. Come a long, Rex. Let's mosey down on that there river." Alastor turns to look down at Husk and said, "You hurt Rex's feelings." Husk made a groveling sound of curses and yelling. "Back to your question, Mabel." Stan says, "No, thank you! Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me."
The younger twins shared a look before Dipper said, "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!" and Mabel says, "Well hornswabber my haversack!" they then spit on ground and took off running towards the gathering ceremony, laughing, and having fun. Seeing the young kids laughing joyously reminded the sinners the most happiest times of their childhood when they were young and innocent kids. "We'll keep an eye on them, Stan." Said Charlie as she and everyone follows after them. Stan shook his fist and yelled, "Dead to me!" at them before walking back to his car.
A crowd assembles around a large stage, on the stage sitting in chairs where the richest family in town, the Northwest, along with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, "Here-ye, here-ye! Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence." Blubs announces as Durland runs on stage ringing a bell, "Woo! I got a bell!" he cheers. The hotel residents were standing in the crowd when they notice a robber stealing an old woman's purse, "Oh, no! Police, my purse!" the old lady cries, but Durland only continues to ring his bell and cheering while Blubs chuckles and says, "He sure loves his bell."
Not sure if it was an act or not, but Angel decided to use one of his hand guns and shot above the crowd. Causing everyone to duck down or flinch at the loud bang, even the robber stopped dead in his tracks, before he could start running again. Alastor quickly teleported in front of him almost blocking his path, extending his staff out in the right time to trip the thief at just the right time in a smooth classy style. "Now, now… That's not how a gentleman should treat a lady." Says Alastor, as he swipes the old lady's purse from the thief while giving him a good old hard bonk on the head with his staff, with enough force to make him see stars. "Your purse, ma'am." Said Alastor as he hands the old lady her purse, who thanks him kindly, as everyone applaud.
Walking to the microphone, Pacifica taps on it and begins her speech, "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest. I'm also very rich." Again the crowd applauds, except for Dipper, Mabel and the demons from hell. "Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself." Mabel let out a gasp and repeats, "Audience participation!" with excitement.
Dipper on the other hand, thought that it might be a bad idea, "I don't know, Mabel. Isn't that girl kinda like your arch-enemy?" Mabel's responds, "That's water under the bridge." As she laughs and runs onstage, while the group hopes that nothing goes south for the funny and cheerful girl. "Our first newcomer is..." Pacifica turns to see Mabel and glares angrily at her, "Mabel..." she says with distaste and looking into the crowd she can see Charlie, Vaggie, and Molly there too. 'This is just perfect.' She thought sarcastically.
Mabel gets to the mic and says, "Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!" everyone in the crowd cheers along with her. "USA! USA!" and one guy even starts crying tears of joy while sobbing his cheers. Before Pacifica could intervene, her father already step in and took over, "I'm sorry to break it to you little girl, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." He looks at Mabel's sweater and snorts "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?" Preston scoffs.
"Hey, I can be serious!" Mabel then glares at him seriously, but her glare was more funny than stern. "You do have nachos hanging from your ears." He pointed out; Mabel touches her nacho earrings and blushes in embarrassment. "Hey now, that's not very nice."
Preston look to the one who spoke back at him, it was none other than Charlie marching up to him while her friends just stood back and gave him looks of anger. "This event is supposed to be fun, serious, and enjoyable. And you're crushing a kid's attempt to show her pioneer spirit? It seems to me that you don't have the spirit." The crowd, "Ooh." At Charlie's burn remark towards Preston Northwest, but the man wasn't even phased by it. Instead he looks down at her smugly.
Preston lends to her level, "Look who you are talking to girl. My family found this town before you were even born." Said Preston loud enough for only them to hear, 'I doubt that.' Charlie thought, "This day marks an important moment of history. There is no room for any silliness. Now why don't you and your 'party' go back to that heinous mess you call a hotel." Not wanting to have an argument on stage, Pacifica says to the audience, "Give them a hand everybody." Everyone in the crowd except for Dipper and the hotel residents applauds while Mabel and Charlie walk off the stage, but when they passed Preston Northwest, he quietly says to the, "I'm embarrassed for all of you and your hotel residents."
Charlie gave the man a cold look before guiding Mabel off the stage just so that she doesn't trip while looking down in sadness. As they rejoin their friends and twin brother, the Northwest family get together for a photo, "Everyone say Northwest!" said Preston, The whole family repeats, "Northweat!" except Pacifica didn't put enough heart into it, but didn't loose her mask to the camera taking their picture. "We're perfect." Preston proclaim.
Dipper ask Mabel if she was okay, who responds with, "I need some old-timey butterscotch." As the twins went off to find some old time candy, as the demons cast one last glare at the Northwest while each of them give them hand signs of 'Fuck you' to the bastard with a piece of shit hanging under his noes he calls a mustache.
Meanwhile
Stan was in his car with Husk, who wanted to ditch the whole holiday event and just stay back at the hotel with Baxter, which is currently stuck in the mud. One of the town locals, Steve, walks up to him. Stan calls out to him, "Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh?" Steve gave Stan a look before saying, "Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a "car." Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?"
Stan wasn't having any of this staying in character drama, "Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake! Cut me some slack." Steve crook his head to one side and said, ""Slack?" I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression." Not once breaking his character role.
But that set Stan off more then ever.
"I can't take this anymore!" he screams as he grabs Steve by the collar throw his car window and starts shaking him, "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!" "Me too!" said Husk, "And I'm not even drunk yet!" that's when the two cops show up running to them, "Are we gonna have to intervene here?" Blubs asked, while Stan jokes tauntingly at them, "Oh, look. The "Constable." What are you gonna do? Throw me in "ye stocks?"" he laughs.
One moment later Stan and Husk were in the stocks.
"Aw, c'mon!" "I didn't even do anything!" Husk yells angerly, "You were his associate." Blubs replies as he and Durland went back on their patrol. Not a moment later, Gideon walks by them wearing old fashioned, nobleman attire, humming a tune to himself, "Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual." Stan points and laughs at the girlier version of his small sized rival. Husk actually remembers this little brat, even though he's been trying to get himself drunk enough to forget this little shitty spotlight seeker.
Gideon looks at Stan and sees one of the hotel staff is with him, 'he's either human or another monster minion. Eitherway I have the upper hand in this situation.' Gideon thought as he fakes an innoncent smile and said, "Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one." He throws a tomato at Stan's left eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one." And throws another tomato at Stan's right eye.
With tomatoes covering his eyes, Stan looks up to the sky and screams, "Ugh! PIONEER DAY!" While Husk chuckles in amusement until he heard Gideon said, "Whoops, I drooped two more." Before Husk had time to proses on what the brat had just said, his eyes got covered in tomatoes too. "Fuck Pioneer Day!" he cursed to the heavens above.
Back with our Party
Meanwhile, the demons/sinners were hanging around the large statue of Nathaniel Northwest, eating some pioneer foods from the vendors; Salt Pork, Frying Pan Bread, Acorn Bread, and Pine nuts. While Mabel mopes and eats her butterscotch. "Guys, can I ask you something?" Everyone looks at Mabel, "Do you all think I'm silly?" Dipper hesitated and struggles to answer his sister's question, "Uh, nnnoooo?" "At times you are kind of funny with your jokes." Charlie answers lightly, "But yes. You are silly sometimes." Alastor answers honestly but bluntly. Only to be elbowed in the gut by Angel.
But that made Mabel moan and hung her head low, "I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater. I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke." Molly sat down beside her on right side and gently patted her back, "Mabel, sweety. Don't beat yourself up on what others think of you." But Mabel didn't want to listen to her; instead she throws off her nacho earrings, and takes off her sweater, and ties her sweater around her waist.
"C'mon, Mabel, you love that sweater!" said Dipper, "I did before Pacifica ruined it for me." Mabel replied, "She ruins everything!" "Well don't look now." Said Arachniss, "Here she comes." True to his words, Pacifica was indeed walking towards them. Vaggie stares at the little girl and ask, "Are you here to apologies or to ruin our day even more?" "I was going to, but then again, that already happened." Pacifica replied sassy, Alastor set his black coffee down and stares wickedly at the little rich girl and said. "Just because you're related to the founder of his town, doesn't mean you can treat others like they're beneath you forever. Karma will catch on, my dear."
Shaken up by the radio host towering over her, Pacifica held her ground, "I doubt that will happen." She replied, "I don't think so." Said Dipper, everyone turns to him with puzzled expressions. "What do you mean?" Pacifica asked the geeky but amazing singer twin. "Is there some mystery connected to her ancestor?" Cherri also ask Dipper.
"I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great grandfather before." Pulling out the third journal, Dipper flips through the pages and found what he was looking for. "Here it is. 'In my investigations I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls!'" "WHAT!?" Pacifica yelled in disbelief, while everyone else was in much shock as she is. Dipper continues reading, "'I believe this secret is emburied somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code.'"
Attach to the other page was the document, pulling it off from the book; Dipper opens the document, revealing a complex series of letters, symbols and words. All in and surrounding a large triangle. "Oh, man! If this cover-up is true, it means your whole family is a fraud." Dipper says to Pacifica shock face, "What was that you said about doubting karma?" Charlie said in a small taunting voice while Angel and his siblings laughed in the background.
"This could be a major conspiracy!" said Vaggie, "Really?" Mabel and Niffty asked curiously, while Pacifica wasn't having it, "That's obviously a fake." "Well why don't we make a bet?" Alastor suggested, "I'm listening." Said Pacifica, arching an eyebrow. "If this is true they you'll have to work for the hotel AND the Mystery Shack for as long as the owners decides when your time is up." Alastor wagered, "And to be a lot more nicer to everyone!" Mabel added in the bet.
Feeling confident, Pacifica made her wager, "But if it's false, then all of you will have to me my personal servents for… How long are you guys are here?" "The whole summer." "Whenever we get our tickets home." Was Dipper's and Molly's replied. "For that long." Said Pacifica. Alastor extended out his right hand and said, "So, it's a deal then?" Pacifica swears she saw a small faint of green fire surrounding the man's hand.
The disguised demons stare at the dealmaker in fear of Pacifica's soul being sold to the Radio Demon, but she did not only catch them off guard, but the Radio Demon himself. For she did not shake his hand, instead she only said, "I don't need to shake hands to know that we're already in an agreement." Alastor was intrigued with her act and cunning words, "Touché."
"Then let's investigate this!" Dipper proclaim, "Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?" Said Mabel, Dipper nodded his head, "Oh yeah, definitely." "Like you wouldn't believe."Vaggie added, "Well, if I help crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!" "I bet five bucks that'll not gonna happen." Pacifica smirks, "I'll take that bet." Mabel replied.
Dipper formed a fist bump to Mabel and said, "Yeah! Mystery twins and Dark Spirit Seekers?" "I thought you hated that." She replied, while Dipper said, "I'm starting to accept it." the two young twins fist bump, while Pacifica arch an eyebrow, "'Mystery twins? Dark Spirit Seekers'?" she questioned everyone, "Soos came up with the name." Charlie explains, "And I have to admit, it's growning on me. Let's head to the library and find anything in there."
"What? Ahhh!" Cherri and Angel moan but comply to their princess of hell. As the group left the statue of the town's founder, they were un-a where of two cops hiding behind the statue and heard everything.
The town's sheriff pulls out his walkie-talkie and calls to dispatch. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!" The dispatch operator spits out his coffee, "What?! And what are you doing about it?" he demands, "I'm following them right now." Sheriff Blubs answers "Find them and stop them. There's no room for error." The dispatcher orders. "I understand. Blubs out." Sheriff Blubs cuts off his walkie-talkie and turns to partner, "Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?" He asks, the only responds he got from Durland was him ringing his bell and yelling, "Woo!"
Sheriff Blubs chuckles and said, "Hehe, if being delightful was crime, you'd be breaking the law." "Let's go get 'em!" Durland cheered as the two ran after the kids and adults.
Time Skip
Inside the Gravity Falls Library. Old Man McGucket left the gold panning and started story telling to the young kids, "Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire. So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!" and he means that literally. The old man was chewing away the book he has in his hands as the kids just stared at him.
In a different section of the library, far way from McGucket, where it's in a dark corner. All of the adults in the group found books on the town's history, codes and cryptic symbols and stack them on the table while Dipper gets the sliding projector set up and Mabel starts skimming through some books. As for Pacifica, she is waiting until everyone gives up and wins the bet.
"You're not going to find anything that proves my great-great-grandfather is not the founder of Gravity Falls. All of the history books are accurate." Said Pacifica, feeling bored out of her mind. "You can't always trust what they books says, my dear." Said Alastor, "And if we do prove that Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put you-" Charlie cuts him off, "And your family!"
in your place." Dipper finishes.
"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly." Mabel added, "I'm serious." she then laps up some candy from the table into her mother with her tongue before squinting her eyes determinedly into her book, "Seeeeriousss..." Not wanting to be the one to point it out, Niffty said, "Mabel you…" "I already did a silly thing just a moment ago, didn't I?" in a snarky tone, Pacifica said, "This just proves that you are silly even when you're trying to be serious."
"Hey wannabe princess!" said Angel, "How's about less ass sitting and more helping?" Pacifica whips over to the blonde Italian man, "What did you say to me?!" She screamed, "Ignore him, and help crack this code with us." Said Vaggie.
With the slides in place, Dipper starts flipping through each slide in hopes to find anything that could give them a hint on the coded parchment. "It's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not, wait-of course!" Dipper exclaimed, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and see what Dipper has found. "The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!" "It's so obvious!" Mabel commented.
"Or it could burn up." Said Arackniss, "There could be a hidden message written in different ink." Alastor suggested as he went to get a candle and lit it. "Alright, let's just light this sucker up and- Mabel!" Dipper sudden yell, startled everyone to turn to see the young Pines girl wearing a hat she made out of the document "Mwop! I just made a hat."
"Sorry, guys. I was practicing my origami skills with Mabel, and we accidently used the parchment." Said Niffty, realizing what she has done. Mabel whacks herself on the forehead, "Ugh, I just did something silly again." She then blows a raspberry at her goofiness. "This only proves that you can't do or take things seriously." Says Pacifica. "Why don't you just…" Molly's voice trailed off when she notices something about the folded up parchment. "The letters are all rearrange." "Of course they are. One of the fun things about folding paper is that there's a chance of a secret message in the paper." Said Niffty. "I'll say. You guys folded it into a map!" said Charlie while Dipper said, "And we were gonna burn it..."
And at that moment, they heard Sheriff Blubs talking to one of the librarians, "We're on the lookout for three kids and a few adults who might be reading." "We're hunting them down for secret reasons! WOO!" his deputy cheered and rings his bell.
Dipper, Mabel, and Niffty pull Pacifica under the table to hide from the cops while the adults with them sand up against the book cases, as the two cops walk right pass them. Right after Durland knocked a row of books off the shelf, "DERP!"
Once they passed, everyone got out of their hiding spot, "Just why in the nine rings of hell those two are looking for us?" Vaggie angerly whispers, "They must have over heard our conversation." Said Molly, "But why?" Pacifica questioned, "If what they're looking for is the same thing what we're lookin' for. Then this cover up story of your ancestor is legit." Said Angel beguiling, making the young Northwest to sweat a little. Not wanting to get caught, Dipper quietly suggests, "Maybe we should take this elsewhere..."
Charlie pulls out a map of the whole town of Gravity Falls and lays it flat on the table, "With the layout of the town and the map…" she said, "It should lead us to..." Mabel continued for Charlie, the two then said in unison "The Gravity Falls Museum of History."
"Does that mean we're breaking in?" Cherri ask with a crazy grin on her face, "It's open for free today." Pacifica pointed out, Cherri groan deflated, "Fine, if you want to do this the easy way. Just don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to keep." The kids lean away from the explosion lover in fear, "I'm afraid to know what your reputation is." Said Pacifica. "Nevermind that now, little lady." Said Arackniss, "Let's put these books away and cover up our trail."
Some of the books were put back on the shelf and some of them in the return bin, when they left the building. While Mabel was being told on not to leave garbage lying around, because it's both rude to the planet and it could also lead the cops to them.
Time Skip
Once they were in the museum, and the kids got their free pioneer balloons, they start searching for any hints, "What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?" Mabel asks out loud, while some cringe in disgust, Alastor laugh at the idea to be a grand one. "That's only a fake one, darling. If you want the real one, you'll have to find his grave first."
Still grossed out about steeling a bone from the third president, Dipper voiced everyone's thoughts on that matter, "Ewww, no." before looking back at the map parchment. "According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!" in front of him was an abstract stone triangular exhibition piece mounted on the wall. "We've gotta figure this one out quick, I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books..." said Dipper, "I don't think the one with the bell can read..." Mabel added.
Dipper looks back the art, "So what is it anyway?" he looks at Pacifica for answers, "Why are you looking at me for? I don't know about this as much as you do." Looking around the room, Arackniss points to various spots for everyone to stand, "There're only three cameras in here." "Arackniss, what are you doing?" Vaggie asked, "If we're looking for a clue in a museum or a gallery, then chances are it's behind the exhibit." Arackniss replied, "Or in it." Molly added. "Also, who ever hanged this isn't smart enough to know that they've hung it wrong." Said Angel.
Everyone turn to the blonde Italian twin dumbfound, and Charlie asks, "Huh? What are you saying?" Mabel let out a gasp and cry out, "It worked!" Everyone turns to the female Pines twin to see that she was hanging upside down, all the while Arackniss and Molly quickly catches on to what their brother was pointing out. Dipper and Pacifica followed her lead while taking out her phone, Charlie snap a picture of the art and use the edit settings to flip the photo upside down and show it to everyone.
"It's not abstract, it's upside-down!" Charlie exclaimed before turning to Angel, "How did you know that?" "Our pop had us to learn how to read upside-down when in gatherings." Angel replies bitterly about their father, but changes attitude when he added, "Plus with all of my 'performances', I've done so many it became easy over time."
Vaggie rolled her eyes before getting a closer look at the image, "It's an angel holding a book and pointing away to the left." The gears in Mabel's brain starts to turn and connect the dots from memory lane, "I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery." "Looks like we'll be grave robbing." Said Alastor. "Don't joke about that." Vaggie deadpanned at the radio overlord demon.
Ignoring that dark joke slash nonjoke, Dipper said "Let's go! Quick!" as he, Mabel, and Pacifica stands up too fast and got a major case of headaches and dizziness. "Ow." "Head rush." I'm gonna sue you for this." The three kids moan in agony, "No need to take this to court." Said Charlie.
Just when Niffty was about to head to the main gates, she saw the two policemen standing by the doors. The lady named Sue, who gave the kids their balloons, said to the Deputy that they were all out of pink balloons. The deputy looks down in disappointment and said, "Why did we even come?"
Niffty rushes back to her friends and said, "The cops are here! They're at the main entrance!" "What? How did they find us? We cover up our tracks." Molly said in shock, "Maybe it's because we stand out too much?" said Cherri, gesturing to her and everyone's fashion taste and styles. "But for now, let's take the back or side exits."
Meanwhile
Stan and Husk were trying and failing to get out of the stocks while over hearing a man arguing with his woodpecker wife in a house next to them. "For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here!" they can guess the Woodpecker was pecking on the table, because the man then yells, "You always say that!" and storms out of the house.
"It was a shitty marriage from the beginning." Husk commented, as Stan struggles to unlock the lock with a hairpin in his mouth "C'mon! C'mon, ugh!" but drops the pin in the process. A man bends down and picks it up, and that man was Preston Northwest. "Well, if it isn't Mr. Pines and his new peasant servant, Busk. Looking for this?" he holds up the pin to Stan's and Husk's faces.
Husk glares at the mustache freak and growls, "It's Husk." While Stan says, "Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money?" Preston looks at his nails and said in the most smugly tone of voice Husk has ever heard before, "I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls. And that you new hotel business is a sham that shouldn't even be called a hotel."
Ignoring the burn glare being sent his way, Preston waited to hear Stan's reply, "Oh sure, you want that in writing?" Stan says sarcastically, but Preston actually gave him a pen and a holds up a note pad. "I was only joking." But the wealthiest man only stuck the pen into Stan's mouth and holds the note pad for him to write.
After a few seconds, Stan stops writing and says, "There you go." With the pen still in his mouth. Preston looks at the note and it says, "YOU STINK!" instead of what he wanted it to say. Husk laughs at his reactions and flips him with two birdies, while Stan says, "Ha! I did that with my mouth!"
But their victory was short lived when Preston whistles to a small group of people by a tomato stand, catching their attention Preston jabs his thumb to Stan and Husk with hands and buckets full of bright, red, and juicy tomatoes.
"Aw, come on!" "I fucking hate this day!"
Back with the Mystery Twins, the Dark Spirit Seekers, and Pacifica
Everyone split up and ran out of the museum, the cops chased after the kids only to get stuck in the door frames. This bought everyone time to loose them and meet up at the cemetery.
Dipper is looking at the statue that is pointing off in the distance. "Do you think the statue is pointing to the next clue?" Niffty ask, "Maybe, but we should let Mabel figure this one out." Said Vaggie. Pacifica, who seem to be loosing more confidents on this bet by every minute, hope that this next piece of the mystery would turn out to be false.
"Oh, gross! She's picking my nose! Ha ha!" Everyone turns to see Mabel standing by the statue with its figure stick into her noes, "Ew, Mabel. Get off of that, you don't know what's been on that." Said Molly, just as those words left her moth the tip of the statue's finger bends upward, opening a secret door under the statue when everyone thought it was a grave. "Mabel, look!"
Feel proud of herself, Mabel said to Pacifica, "Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!" she tries to jump down from statue but she forgot that her nose is still on the statue's finger tugging on her nose. "Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow." Pacifica then said, "You're still silly. Almost like a clown." But Alastor intervene, "No, that title belongs to Husker." As he helps Mabel get down from the statue, "Okay. I'm good," she reassures her safety to everyone as they journey down below the grave cavern.
"Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode. I feel serious." Mabel then eats some of her candy and pocketed her candy rapper. With Dipper in the lead holding a flashlight he mentions to everyone, "Okay, look out for booby traps." Few of the demons and Mabel laugh at the word "Booby traps." While Alastor said to Dipper, "You might want to rethink of your choice of words, my boy." Not paying any attention to where she was walking, Pacifica accidently steps on a tile which triggers a bunch of darts to fly out of the walls towards them.
"Tranquilizer darts!" With quick thinking, Dipper grabs Mabel and Pacifica's hands and maneuvers through the darts, while everyone dodge out of the why or crawl down on the floor. With the chaotic trap triggered, everyone manage to make it out unscathed. Except for Niffty tripping over a rock and collided to everyone causing them to fall down into a deep long twisted tunnel.
They came to a stop at the bottom of the tunnel, covered in dirt and cob-webs. "Ugh! This is so gross!" Pacifica whined as she tries her best to brush off the dust and webs off of her, while Niffty starts killing all of the spiders, "Nope. Nope. No. *Gasp!* Nope!" The three siblings stare at the little clean freak with disgust anger, the rest soon notice their behavior as Charlie ask them, "What's wrong? Why are you looking so…" It instantly clicked in her head. "Oh right, spiders." That made sense.
Once everyone finished brushing off the dust and bugs, Dipper moved his flashlight around the cave and what they found was more than what they had thought. "Whoa, look at all of this old shit." Said Cherri, Alastor, the spider siblings, and Niffty cleared their throats in an "Ahem". Realizing her choice of words, the boom lover quickly said, "I meant these, not..." Alastor raised his hand and stops her, "We get what you've meant. But do word it better next time."
Taking a better look at the piles of old human history stuff, Charlie notices something off about them. "Guys, I'm confused. Do humans have extra limbs?" "That's a stupid question, of course they don't." Pacifica answers snarky. "That's not what this document says about Abraham Lincoln having a third hand on his head."
Looking over her girlfriend's shoulder, Vaggie's brain begins to turn. "Confidential, historical information…? These are facts that the government has covered up over years from the public." Soon, everyone was tearing through old documents and objects that belong to someone else instead of the "Main Characters" in history books everyone knows about. "I knew some of that history was full of bullshit!" Angel exclaimed with excitement. Mabel then found a document on Benjamin Franklin, and said, "Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!" "Nice!" Angel cried out with a fist in the air, "Looks like the publishers will have to rewrite history in those text books." Alastor commented.
"Hey, jackpot!" the cry of Dipper's voice caught everyone's attention; he picks up a document with the title "Northwest Cover-up" on it as everyone gathers around him with Pacifica leaning against his shoulder anxiously. "Now we'll find out who the real town founder was." Dipper begins to read from the document, "Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud..."
And just like that, the truth and the starting line of Pacifica's family's legacy came crashing down. As the young Northwest stands frozen in place, Angel looks closer at what the document says about the cover-up. "Oh! It also says…'as well as a waste-shoveling village idiot?'" he snorts at the picture of the idiot standing on top of a pile of actual shit. "It also says that he tried to eat an entire oak tree just so that he can become a powerful wizard." Said Alastor, as he reads from one of the paragraphs on the documents. Follow by Vaggie who says, "And he was hated by everyone who had known him."
"Oh, bad news for your family, Pacifica. Wait'll the papers hear about this!" Said Dipper, but the look he sees on Pacifica's face made all the joys of getting back at her and her family left him making him feel guilty. "That's going a little too far, Dipper." Said Charlie, "Still, once people see that we uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!" said Mabel.
"Okay, fine. If my Great-great-grandfather wasn't the true founder. Then who's the real founder of Gravity Falls then?" said Pacifica, Dipper went back reading the document, "'The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire.'" The name itself flew over everyone's heads, "What kind of name is that?" said Niffty confusingly, "Who's Quentin Trembley?" Mabel asks, "It's not ringing any bells." Said Alastor with a shoulder shrug.
Suddenly, a bright flashlight shines behind them, they turn around to see the two cops standing at their only exit. "That's none of your business!" said Blubs as Durland yells enthusiactly "Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo!" but then his cheering starts to weaken, "Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo." Until he falls face-first to the grown pass out. And on his back and head were Several tranquilizer darts sticking out.
"He got hit with quite a few of those darts." Said the head Officer, "I'll say." Vaggie says, "There's eight of them and… Is he still breathing?" Niffty gently pokes the only officer down, who groans and starts to wake up. Once he was back on his feet and dart free, Blubs continued where he left off.
"I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security." Durland cheers, "Yeah! Ye—ah" but he then puts hands on knees, "woo. I think I might be colorblind now." "Yikes." Arachniss commented as he and everyone else leans back in shock/worry. But that didn't stop them from questioning the two policemen, "What do you mean, "national security?"" said Dipper, "Why is my family? Said Pacifica, "Why was is a complete cover-up?" said Alastor, "And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway?" Mabel finishes.
Officer Blubs removes his hat and takes out a reel of film, "See for yourself." He then takes the reel to an old projector and gets it set and ready, while everyone stares at him while thinking, 'He had that in his hat this entire day?' the film projects on the screen to show a countdown in "Aww, it's black and white?!" Mabel whines, "Shh! Mabel." while Dipper shushes her.
Reel starts off revealing a government official in an office looking directly at the camera, "If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete." He spoke, scaring a few of the viewer residences. The Gov. Official Looks offscreen and said, "-What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief!" "This guy sounds like Chris Parnell." Vaggie whispers quickly to Charlie before turning her attention back to the screen, "Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."
"President?!" The humans and demons exclaimed in shock, while Mable, Angel, Charlie, and Niffty then said, "Eighth-and-a-half?" confusingly. "He must have an eighth-and-a-half di—" "Don't finish that, Anthony." Molly cuts off her twin's sentence.
Back on the film the Govt. official continues, "After winning the 1837 election in a landslide," Literally. On the video, a picture of Quentin Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates is shown. Only to have the next scene to be an actual landslide killing all the other candidates. "Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president." Soon more slides of Quentin Trembley's work as president, each one crazier than the last, "He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse."
The film then shows a picture of Trembley, and a tape recorder reenacted his recording speech "The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!" Angel, Molly and Arachniss glare at the video, feeling quite insulted by that speech.
"He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed." The image shows of Trembley in a look out/searching pose only to have it zoomed out to revile him riding a horse backwards and falling off a cliff. The Gov. Official finishes his documentation, "Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of President Trembley's body are unknown."
The film ends, and Officer Blubs gestures his hand to the far back corner of the cave and said, "Until now." Everyone turns and jolted in shock to see Quentin Trembley himself, who is encased in an amber-colored rectangle-like prison. "Oh my god!" "Holly Shit!" "How the fuck did we missed that?!" A lot of the demons shared their colorful expressions as Dipper walks over to it and ran his finger down the prison. "Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something?" he asked.
"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle." Arachniss faceplammed at that statement, "Oh for fuck's sake." He mutters under his breath as he recalls the days when he and his little siblings were very young and had a debate on what types of food were longer lasting for storage.
Blubs turns his attention to the frozen historical man and said, "Smooth move, Mr. President!" before turning back to address their true reasons on why they were following them, "Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete." "Who knew all we had to do was follow the most noticeable girl in town, a candy wrapper or two, footprints, and a small trail of white powder." Said Durland as he holds up one of Mabel's butterscotch wrappers.
No one can blame Mabel for this one, since they were also to blame for this mishap. Face-palms all around, while Angel cheeked his pocket and cried, "My drugs! Damn it!" it turns out the bag and a small hole tared on the side spilling the drug all out inside his pocket, and with all that running around made it worse. Charlie and Vaggie glares at Angel, "We're going to have a talk with you, Angel."
"Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it." Fearing for the worse, the three kids huddle close together in fright of what these cops are going to do, "Does that mean-?" Dipper starts, "Are you going to kill us?!" Mabel finishes, while Pacifica shrieks. "I don't want to die!" All the disguised demons pulled out their weapons and got into a defense position to protect the kids.
Even Durland screams, "OH NO!" but Blubs calms him down, "No, no. Calm down now, buddy, calm down." Blubs turns his attention to them and explains, "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington." "Oh" Charlie sighed in relief before prossessing on what the officer had said, "You ain't comin' back, by the way." the said officer then added. "Fuck." Angel and Arachniss curse as the twins and Pacifica look at each other with worry.
The sinners/demons on the other hand, stood their ground. Alastor walks forward and said with malice in his voice, "And how are the two of you… Going to escort all eight adluts and three kids from here? You're clearly out numbered and out matched."
*Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! *
Distpite the cops being, well stupid and incompetent, they were quick at shooting tranquillizer darts that were on Durland minutes ago at the adults. "AAAHHHH!" the kids scream in fright as they were being dragging away as their friends collapse to the floor with Angel cursing, "You… A-holes." At the cops before blacking out.
Time Skip
"Remind me to add those two on my hit list." was what Arachniss said ash he and everyone else woke up from being tranquilized trapped in a wooden crate, with Quentin Trembley's body, inside of a moving train. And with all the noises the kids were making to get anyone outside their attention wasn't helping with their headaches, almost giving them migraines.
Ceasing their pleads, Dipper turn his attention to their friends and ask, "How are you guys coming along?" "Well, we're starting to get some feeling's back in our bodies." Said Molly, "Is this really how life is here for you guys?" Cherri commented, "Somewhat." Vaggie replied.
Mabel slides down to the floor mentally hitting herself at the outcome of their today's mystery adventure "Oh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers." "How do you think we feel about all of this? I lost half a bag of my drugs." Angel commented, while Charlie still gave him the look of disappointment. "Not to mention a certain rich town girl was part of the reason they were following us." Hearing the Italian New Yorker's words made Pacifica curled her legs closer to her body.
"But you must admit that this made everyone, including you little lady, to feel…" Waiting for Pacifica to finish his sentence, the little blonde girl said the words Alastor wanted her to say, "Silly." "Still, you had me pegged all along Pacifica. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name."
What happened next was both disgusting and shocking. Mabel plucks a piece of peanut brittle and eats it, but that caused the entire block to break apart freeing Trembley. "It is I, Quentin Trembley." Who is still alive, and rips off his pants.
"Aahh!" Everyone freaked out seeing the president and founder still among the living, "You're alive! But how?" Dipper ask Trembley, while some of the girls and guys looked away at the man's gross stained undergarments. That's when it dawned on Mabel, "Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! You're not silly, you're brilliant!" Angel turns to his brother and cry, "Ha! See Arie! I told ya—" Arachniss cuts him off, "Shut da fuck up Tony!"
Ignoring the bickering brothers, Trembley focus on Mabel, "And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!" his words really opened everyone's eyes, "He's right! Making maps into hats…" said Niffty, "Hanging upside-down…" Cherri points out, while Dipper said, "Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!" feel so overjoyed, Mabel bashfully said, "Oh, stop it." Happy to know that being silly isn't so bad, it's just timing it and when it can be useful in the most serious of times.
"By Jefferson!" Trembley exclaimed, "We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box." "That's because we are." Pacifica pointed out, "Then it's a good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" showing the key he just pulls out of his pocket, Trembley repeatedly slams it at the side of the crate. "I... don't think that's gonna work." Dipper commented, "I know he's silly and been trapped in that candy block for decades, but this is ridiculous." Vaggie deadpan.
"Wood! My age-old enemy." Said Trembley sneering at his 'enemy', "In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived." Everyone smiled as Dipper voiced everyone's thoughts, "I think I know who can help you." As he turns to Mabel and smiles.
Mabel thinks and looks around before saying, "Hmm. How 'bout... that hole?" and points to a tiny hole near the corner of the crate. "We will leap through it!" Trembley proclaim as he and Mabel jumps at the hole.
"This is getting more and more ridiculous." Vaggie stated, as she and everyone starts to get back up on their feet. She then pulls out her new survival knife and starts cutting the crate. After a couple of whacks, there was a sudden pecking sound coming over where Mabel and Trembley are, "Is that my third wife? Sandy?" Every demon stared at him in disbelief and disgust, "Oh my god— He made that fucked-up law?!"
Suddenly the box falls apart around them. Stun by what has accrued Alastor state, "Somehow stupidity can still be entertaining." "Well, we didn't fit through the hole. Let's rebuild the box and try again!" said Trembley as he grabs one of the boards that was once the crate. Dipper runs pass him to the door connected to the next cart with the Northwest Cover-up documents and said, "We gotta get out of here!" as everyone else follows his lead. "Also good!" said Trembley.
But when Dipper opens the door, Durland was there getting ice and sees them. Durland drops the bucket of ice and calls out "Blubs!" Angel took the door hand from Dipper and slammed it shut and lock, while Arachniss and Molly barricaded the door to by themselves more time.
Looking for another exit, Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley found an emergency escape on the ceiling. They climb up the ladder as Trembley pulls out his key and starts pressing it against the door even though there's no lock. Frustrated and press for time, Dipper snatches the key from Trembley, "Give me that!" and turns the handle letting everyone out.
Pacifica is good at a lot of things: Mini gulfing, taste in fashion, playing video games, and being the best. But standing on a moving train that's going at 59 mph while keeping her balance, are not one of those things. And the wind whipping her hair around blinding her wasn't helping either!
Just as she was about to fall off, Dipper quickly grab her hand and pulls her back up with Alastor being the anchor holding him incase he too falls off with her. Before she could utter a thank you, she and Dipper were snack up into Angel's arms (he and everyone else are still in their human forms) and Mabel in Molly's. The group ran and jumped over the two policemen's heads onto the next cart and continue towards the front of the engine.
Cherri lit up one of her bombs and throws it at them, Durland caught the bomb and the two freaked out. They played a quick game of hot tomato before Durland throws it over his head and the bomb exploded taking down a few trees and scaring off the animals near by.
They soon catch up to them, Blubs is the only one panting out of breath, "There *Huffs* is *Huffs* no *Huffs* escape! I gotta take a knee." Durland kneels besides him with support and asks, "Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" gently grasping his deputy's hand, Blubs said to him, "Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough."
Seeing no where else to run, except jumping off the trian with the kids, the demons got ready incase they'll have to use that plan. Dipper calls out, "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Sheriff answers, "I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!"
'The very top?' suddenly any idea popped in Dipper's head, "Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?" "No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window." Trembley answered. Pacifica cringe in disgust, "Ew!" as did everyone else. "Then... technically you're still legally the President of the United States, right?" said Dipper as he turns to Blubs and Durland and declaim, "You've gotta answer to this guy now!"
The officers let out a confusing "Huh?" as Trembley steps forword, "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation." "IN COMING!" everyone duck down as the train goes by an extended metal railway pole sign, except for Trembley who got hit in the back of his head. "Ow! Mmm yeeees!"
"Vacation?" Blubs turns to Durland, "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two—" "Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!" they cheered at the same time. Soon the train took off after stopping to let Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, the demons and the eight-and-a-half president off the train. Durling and Blubs were the only ones in the train wearing Hawaiian shirts and wave to them as the train departs. "Bye-bye! Bye!"
As the train vanish over the horizon, Trembley gets to a knee, looks at Mabel in the eyes and said, "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman." He takes out and unfolds a black top-hat and hands it to her. As she puts on the hat, Mabel declaims, "I'm legalizing everything!" "Oh no." Vaggie moans as Charlie giggles in the background.
Trembley turns to Dipper, "And Roderick," "Uh- actually- uh—" Dipper tries to correct the old president, but Trembley continues, "You dear boy are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So, I'd like you to have my President's Key!" he hands Dipper the key, who smiles with gratitude, as Angel tussle his hair like a big brother proud for his younger brother.
Then Trembley turns to Pacifica, who looks very disappointed. "Chin up, great great granddaughter of Nathaniel Northwest. No need to look so down." Pacifica's eyes widen in shock, "You know who— Wait of course you do. But I need to know, aren't you mad that my ancestor steal the founding of the town from you?"
Trembley smiles and said, "There's no need to hold a grudge for over centuries, and I believe you my dear will come to terms with your family's history and set things right by your own decision." A warm glowing feeling envelops Pacifica's heart, his words made her feel… hopeful for her future.
Time Skip
"And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk."
It took them about forty-five minutes to get back town from the railway tracks, as Trembley was finishing up his story. "A-greed!" said Mabel.
While the kids were listening to old tales, the hotel staff/residence stayed further back to discuss of what happened back at the cave. "When we were hit by those darts, I only pretended to be knocked out. The darts had no effects on me." Said Charlie, "What? Then how…?" Niffty tries to get her question out, but Charlie gave her the answer, "It's because I'm a natural born demon and not a mortal turned demon." Cherri then says, "Well this has been one weird and crazy as fuck of a day." "It wasn't what I imagen it would be." Said Charlie. "Well, I'm ready to forget this day." Said Pacifica, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I do hope you didn't forget our little betting deal, my dear?" Alastor quip from behind her. It quickly hit them that they completely forgot about their wager back at the cave, and each of them smile in victorious. "Well then, looks like we'll be seeing you more often then. How do you feel wearing a uniform?" said Molly "What's you dress size?" Angel asks the rich girl smugly. "Good one." Their brother commented.
"Think of it this way: you work for us and the truth may not be leak out to the public news." Said Alastor, all Pacifica can do is stand still in shock. This is the second time that she had loose to the Pines and the hotel residents, 'How did this happened again!?' she screamed in her head. "You start tomorrow at 9am. Don't forget." Vaggie instructed, but Pacifica protest, "But—" she was cut off by Dipper, "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Deal with it!"
That completely shut her protesting, "At lest have the shifts work in my favor? I don't want any word about me being at the hotel or at the shack to go out to my parents." And so, Pacifica Northwest is now a part-time employee at the Hazbin Hotel and the Mystery Shack. She then leaves to find her family getting in their limo back to their mansion.
"Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome!" said Dipper, Trembley came over to them after a fist fight with a bald egale and said, "Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here..." he points to Dipper's heart, Cherri then comments, "That's the most—" Only to have a dollor bill in his hand "On the negative twelve-dollar bill." He hands Dipper the bill. "Unexpected cliché?"
After examining the bill, Dipper declarers, "Whoa. This is worthless." But Trembley points out, "It's less then worthless, my boy." He raises his fists up and shouts, "Trembley away!" before jumping backwards onto a horse and rides away. "Where do you think he's going?" Mabel asks, while Dipper says, "I'm gonna say... off a cliff."
Time Skip
The group then found Stan and Husk, who were telling them their story of their imprisonment. "And then Soos came by and talked to me for like, an hour." Stan finishes as Mabel and Charlie gave them looks of pity, "You boys been through so much."
Dipper walks over to their stocks, he uses the President's key to unlock the first lock on the stocks Stan is in freeing him, "It works!" he went to Husk and frees him too. "Better keep that key very close to ya, kid." Said Angel.
"So what's with the top hat?" Stan asks Mabel, who proudly says, "I am a congressman." Stan and Husk raise an eyebrow, "Pardon me?" Husk question, Mabel, in a gentlemen manner, replies, "You are officially pardoned."
Everyone laughs to the two grouchy men's befuddlement. "Oy! You a never gonna make sense, are you, kid?" said Stan, as Mabel happily says, "No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not." And then tries the same exit thing Trembley did, "Mabel, away!" and jumps backwards. Only to land in what sounded like a loud crash of trash cans, crates, pottery, or a stand. Making everyone concern for her well being.
"I'm okay!"
Nevermind then.
Meanwhile Wherever Trembley is at
Trembley is in what looks like a courtroom talking to babies with mustaches wearing top hats. "Esteemed gentlemen of the Supreme Court of the United States, I implore you to rethink your decision!" but the babies just sit there making cooing noises.
And yet Trembley seem to understand what they are saying, "Very well. But who would you have replace me?" One of the babies said, "Mama." "That old crone?!" apparently it wasn't it's actual mother.
Another baby was patting another baby's face while gurgling, "Ba ba ba..." "Chief Justice Num-Num, y-you're spitting up on yourself! Now ohh! Oh, come on! This is a courtroom! I... this... this is a dark day for America." Trembley stated.
Dark day indeed. If someone is going to clean up the mess they made.
That's the end of this chapter, hope it was worth the wait.
I'll try to get the next chapters up too, but's it's going to take awhile for that to happen. Get ideas, inspiration, gears turning, the writer's life. The next chapter is going to be one of Dipper's Guide To the Unexplained or Unknown, and right after that another Journal Entry.
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Italian
Mio Dio – My God
That's it for now. Ja-Ne.