Title: Her Man

Author: darkchakram

Rating: M

Spoilers: Everything is game. Takes place after the modern day events in Soul Possession.

Disclaimer: Don't own them, just playing with them.

Category: Xena/Ares romance

Summary: Following the failure of his ill-conceived plan to claim Xena's soul per their contract agreement as seen in the season six episode Soul Possession, Ares realizes that the only way he will ever be worthy of Xena's love is to quit playing games and simply be the that man she needs him to be.

Story Notes: I am in the process of reworking this story which I started in 2009. It is definitely a Xena/Ares romance, so if that's not your thing, this isn't the story for you. Also, I should note that when I write Xena/Ares, there are a couple of assumptions I make regarding Xena/Ares and Xena/Gabrielle that some shippers don't agree with. First of all, while I am not a subtexter, I do believe that there is a sexual component to Gabrielle and Xena's relationship. This story does not include any f/f sex scenes between the two women but such a relationship will be alluded to periodically. Secondly, I believe Ares and Xena had a sexual (maybe romantic) relationship prior to the start of the show. To me it is much easier to explain the "I used to wonder what you looked like" comment from The Reckoning as Xena referring to an earlier time when he perhaps kept his presence hidden from her than to disregard the various other references made throughout the show that hint at an earlier relationship: "to see my old girlfriend fight," (Succession) etc. Finally, I did not use a beta reader so all mistakes are my own. Thank you, I hope you enjoy the story, and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

Her Man

Chapter 1

She hadn't really lied, Xena told herself as she and Gabrielle rode home from the convention center in Harry and Mattie's Jeep. Still, she couldn't help feeling a little dirty as the words she'd spoken after their fight with Ares ran again through her mind. "No, and he never will," she had promised her companion that Ares would never come between them. No, maybe Ares had never broken them up, but the simple truth was that he was always there between them. Always would be, just like he had been with Marcus and her brief affair with Hercules. The truth was, Ares was the one by whom she measured all the others. Obviously, Gabrielle was a little different; she was a woman after all. She was purer than anything or anyone Xena had ever known. Undeniably, she loved Gabrielle but the passion wasn't the same. The intensity was different with him. And Xena knew if she could ever let herself fully love him, that not even the connection that she had with Gabrielle could compare.

"Everything okay?" Gabrielle asked, sensing Xena's distance.

"What? Sure, fine, everything's fine, just glad to be back in a woman's body," Xena smiled and played it off.

"Yeah, about that, I guess we aren't married anymore. Are you okay with that?"

"Well, we were never married in Greece and things worked out, speaking of which, how much do you remember about our past lives there?"

"I wouldn't say I have complete assimilation, just glimpses, you?"

"It had been the same for me until this afternoon, then, whatever Ares did to me and Joxer…"

"Jox—oh, Annie, yeah, sorry, you were saying?" Gabrielle interrupted.

"Now, I remember everything. I used to feel like Harry but I had these weird memories of a past life as a woman warrior. But, now I feel like Xena, and Harry is, or was, the intruder. I know one thing for certain, I'm not Annie, and I am having a hard time accessing Harry's memories. I think like Xena now, not Harry, not Annie. It's confusing."

"Maybe you shouldn't be driving," Gabrielle suggested.

"No, it's okay. We are almost home anyway, aren't we?"

"Um, yeah, it's the next right," Gabrielle pointed to the green street sign. She didn't want to think about the implications this revelation could have for their relationship. She had fallen in love with Harry's soul, to be sure, but now that soul was inside Annie who was telling her that she was Xena. And, Mattie knew this was true because she could feel Gabrielle inside herself. Still, she had lived a whole life without Gabrielle or at least without knowledge of Gabrielle. Now, Xena was telling her essentially she was losing the memory of her life with her, at least this life as Harry. Well, they would just make new memories and if they were truly soul mates, then they would find a balance between their old lives and new. The other thing that was bothering Gabrielle/Mattie was the sex. Mattie had never been with a woman, she didn't know if she would like it, but for Xena/Harry she was willing to try anything.

AXAXAXAXAXAXAX

Ares fumed as he pushed his steel horse for all she had down a dusky desert road. The v-twin engine of his Harley drowned out all other sound. Xena was un-freaking believable. Years, he had waited to claim her. No, not years, not decades, not even centuries, he had waited fucking millennia, and still she was finding some way to mess up his plans. Oh well, maybe he had done a little messing up of her plans himself. He thought it had been genius putting her in Annie's body, a body so closely similar to her own at one time. Ares had also given her consciousness a little nudge so that she would gain a fuller awareness of her true self, her original self. Now, at least when he was spying on her maybe she would pick up on his presence the way she used to. Plus, she was a damn sight better to look at with those flame blue eyes and those delicious long legs. Ares hoped she would dye her hair black but he supposed he could learn to live with dishwater blonde.

Who was he kidding? Two thousand years and still she was going to deny him the chance to be with her. What was he doing wrong? He had played every angle. He even tried to play it her way back in Greece. Oh yeah, she'd melted a little for Mr. Nice Ares but as soon as he got his godhood back it was right back to, 'see ya around, Ares.'' And she had wanted that golden apple of Odin's, Ares had seen the tears in her eyes, had felt the raw desire radiating off of her. She been too much of a damn coward to admit it. Coward, Xena? No, not a coward but a martyr and somehow that was worse. Look at what she had let them do to her in Jappa! Well he had taken care of them hadn't he? As soon as he climbed his way out of that tomb during World War II, he'd seen to their suffering. What could he say? They'd messed with his two loves, Xena and the U.S.A. Yeah, he was a big fan of the red, white, and blue; second amendment and all that. Most of Europe had become a bunch of pacifists, but not those Yanks. They knew how to throw a damn party; rockets red glare, bombs bursting in air. Ares needed a drink and a damn strong one at that. Back in his Olympian days, wine never did much for him. It didn't have enough kick. So there again, Ares had the good ole U.S.A. to thank. He loved Lynchburg, Tennessee and Jack Daniel's Whiskey. It reminded him of Xena; smooth and burned you all over when it went down.

Jake's roadhouse had seen its better days. It was really nothing more than a shack with some neon lights in the middle of the desert but it was Ares' favorite place to get plastered. The chill wind picked up the dust disturbed by Ares' footsteps and carried it across the expanse of Joshua trees.

Ares' eyes adjusted quickly to the dark interior as he made his way to the bar. He slipped off his jacket and slung it over the back of the high-backed barstool that he'd come to think of as his spot. Merle Haggard poured out of the jukebox. A drunken redhead in her forties danced with a man in his sixties on the six by six foot wooden square that served as the joint's only dance floor. If you could call that dancing, Ares thought, it was more like he was trying to keep her from falling on her overpainted face. A couple of twenty-somethings that Ares hadn't seen before had taken up residence at the pool table. Sharla, one of the regulars, was already trying to pick them up. Ares chuckled, the woman was as ugly as a toad but he knew Sharla. Those boys would be taking her home tonight.

"Hey Duke," the bartender nodded at Ares, "the usual?" Ares had chosen the name Duke to walk through the mortal world It had both a rugged John Wayne association but at the same time carried a royal flair.

"Yep, Jake but just leave the bottle this time."

"Misses on a rampage?" The old bartender asked as he wiped down the bar and placed the bottle of Jack in front of Ares.

"You could say that," Ares answered and Jake took the hint that 'Duke' wasn't really looking for conversation. He went back to his game of checkers at the end of the bar with Ken.

Haggard gave way to George Jones, "He said I'll love you til I die. . . ." Flame blue eyes stared back at him in the barkeep's mirror but he knew they weren't really there. Just an apparition that had come only to torment him. Ares looked away, turning his attention to the old men playing checkers. The god felt both thankful and cursed by his immortality. True, he would never look frail and decrepit like Jake and Ken but pretty soon, too soon actually, Xena would be dead again and he would have to start the search for her soul all over and he knew that there was always a chance that he wouldn't find her again. Even worse, he was well aware that eventually the day would come that she would finally figure it all out and go on to paradise. Then, he would be out of options. Sure, he'd known all of the dangers of messing with mortals when he'd gotten involved with her all those years ago, but gods be damned he had never meant to fall in love. That just didn't happen, not to the God of War. Ares remembered when he first realized it. He had flat out accused Cupid and Aphrodite both of putting a spell on him. Deep down, he knew they hadn't but even if they had he would not have wanted it to wear off, ever.

"What's eatin' you Duke?" Sharla asked as she placed a twenty up on the bar beside his bottle of Jack.

"Why do you care? Looks like you got your hands full," he gestured with a smile to the boys playing pool.

"Yeah, and if I play it right, I'm gonna have more than that full," she cackled and slapped him in the arm. "Damn, baby, the offer still stands, what I wouldn't give for one night with those guns wrapped around me." She wagged her eyebrows at him before picking the twenty back up and waving the bill at Jake. "Get over here you old geezer, them boys wanna buy me a drink."

"I'm comin', I'm comin' you horny bitch." Jake grumbled.

"You better kill it with the sweet talk, Jake or you'll be taking me home again," she warned him.

"Wouldn't want that," he teased her. Jake double jumped Ken's pawns and called, "Crown me!" before he started working on Sharla's standard Long Island Iced Tea. But, Ares knew that it was exactly what the old man wanted. Ares knew that longing. Longing for something you couldn't have. He wondered briefly what kept them apart. Was it because Sharla was what psychologists like to call damaged? Or, was it because Jake was too passive to stake his claim? They loved each other, Ares could see it, but it wasn't ever going to work out for them and he didn't need Aphrodite to tell him that. 'To bad, the old man deserves to be happy,' he thought as Sharla made her way back to her young victims.

The god chided himself for even caring about mortals and their happiness. He was supposed to be here stewing over the way Xena had treated him, again. But the more time he spent around mortals the more he discovered he actually liked them. There had been times he had even gone out of his way to protect them. He didn't think his aunt, Hestia, was ever going to let him live down the time he had saved the little girl who ran out into traffic after her puppy. Saved the damn puppy too! Ares took a shot of whiskey, let it burn him. Took another, let her burn him. Gary Allan's sad southern voice drawled out of the jukebox.

I'm gonna change my ways of doin' things around here

Well I'm turning over a new leaf, gonna get myself in gear

'Cause I've got a woman who's better than most and I've made a mess of her plans

Startin' today, all I'm gonna be is her man

Ares took another swig, he could see Xena after their first time together, hair tousled, wild looking. Her eyes still drunk with bloodlust from battle and hungry for their next conquest even after climax. Another swig.

'Cause I've been a wild catter, and a go-go getter

Been an S.O.B. write down to the letter, I've had misadventures

I've even got pictures, I'm even more than I can stand

But startin today, all I'm gonna be is her man

Another swig, a revelation rolled around in his head but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Another swig.

I'm gonna give it all back, 'cause all I've done is take

One more pull on the Jack Daniel's bottle and it hit him. All Xena had wanted from him was humanity. When he'd gotten his godhood back, the first thing he'd done was start fucking with her life again. Manipulating, giving her ultimatums. Why hadn't he just gone to her and t'old her that his immortal heart ached for her as much as his mortal one had? Because he'd been terrified, that's why. He'd had more courage when he was a mortal. He'd showen her his vulnerable side then. Sure, he had tried as a god but it had always come off as cocky. And he'd always had a hidden agenda. But that was then, and this was now. Things could be different, he could be different. He didn't want to be her god anymore.

I'm a little bit late but I'm wisin' up

Now I'm takin' her by the hand

Startin today, all I'm gonna be is her man

That was it! He wanted to be her man, and now that he knew it, everything else in the world seemed trivial. And it didn't matter if she believed him this time, because this time, Ares believed himself.

Ares placed a hundred dollar bill beneath what was left of the Jack and slipped out of the bar.

Dammit, he was too drunk to drive. Normally that wouldn't have even been a problem for him but part of his epiphany meant that he was going to have to make an effort to not abuse or misuse his powers. So, no more popping in and out of her presence at will. No more cheating. No more invisibility tricks. No more fireballs. He would play by mortal rules even if he was immortal. Ares fished out his cell phone and dialed 411. He silently cursed the fact that he was in the middle of the desert. It was going to be one hell of a cab fare.

Two hours later and a little more sober, Ares paid the driver a sum Salmoneus would have been glad to pocket and then asked him to wait. For all his bravado in the bar, the god was utterly lost when faced with her door. He felt silly, like he should have brought something, flowers, jewelry, or something. But then again, that would have made it look like a ploy to win her back. And that was not what this was. Knock or ring the doorbell? it took him five minutes to decide.

In bed, Xena felt his presence. She looked around the room. What was he up to? Gabrielle was fast asleep. Xena slipped out of bed and padded on bare feet into the front room which also served as a lobby for the past lives clinic. Ares stood on the other side of the door. She could feel him radiating through the wood like a white hot flame licking the other side. What was he doing just standing there?

Finally, Ares decided: doorbell. But, just as he went to press the little white button the door edged open. Xena stood in front of him wearing light blue silk pajamas. The god had witnessed the creation of galaxies and never had he seen anything more breathtaking in his life. Her eyes were still drowsy with sleep but her senses were fully alert. She had obviously sensed him and had her guard up already. Damn, he didn't know what he was going to do about that, that wasn't a power he could turn off at will. It was his presence and she just fed off of it.

"Ares, what do you want?" She said quietly so as not to wake Gabrielle. "And, since when do you use doors, anyway?"

He wasn't going to be goaded into a fight even though he felt the one she had one brewing for him. It danced on her skin like the sand rippling across the Sahara. The promise of the fight turned her on. He knew it, she knew it. That's why he'd used it against her so many times before. "I'm not here to fight, Xena. I'm here to apologize."

Apologize, 'oh this is rich, what is he up to now?'she thought, and why did he have to look so good doing it? The wife beater clung tightly to his chest revealing his toned pecs. His nipples were pebbled by the cool night air. All black! From the top of his head, the black leather pants, and down to his biker's boots. Lust, Xena, stop it! She had to will herself back into the conversation.

"Apologize," she eyed him warily, "Whatever for?"

"Well, I could go a long way back, as we both know, but let me start by apologizing for Varia."

"Varia?"

"You do remember Varia don't you Xena?" Ares wasn't sure just how much of her old consciousness had returned.

"Yes, whatever you did to me today, I have complete clarity. I am Xena Warrior: Princess, I am not Harry or Annie or anyone else. I've had what Gabrielle is calling a complete assimilation. But it doesn't feel like assimilation because Harry isn't here anymore."

"If that hurts you, I am sorry about that too."

"Ares, why are you bringing up Varia, now?"

"Because Xena, I've done terrible things to you, long before Varia; but don't you see that was
my chance, my chance to prove to you things could be different, things could be good between us, to prove that we could be friends."

"Friends, since when did you want to be friends?"

"Since now, Xena. I don't want to be your god anymore, Xena. I release you fully of any vows you ever made to me. You are free of any allegiance you professed. I love you. And, I am
tired of hurting you. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still want to be a part of your life but in whatever capacity that you choose or don't. It's all in your hands. Really, it always has been, I just didn't see it until now." Ares took her hand and kissed it gently. She wanted to believe him and gods his lips felt so soft and warm on her skin. The brush of his beard tickled her hand, sending shivers down her back. He withdrew his lips and looked into her eyes. He wasn't pleading anymore. All she saw was honesty and she didn't know what to make of it. She wanted him that way, wanted to kiss him, to take him into her arms. She ached to tell him it's all okay and that they would work it out. It's all blood under the bridge.

"Goodnight, Xena, I didn't mean to bother you this late but I was afraid if I didn't get that out I would lose my courage in the light of day."

Xena noticed the cab and realized that he gotten a ride. She was truly shocked. His riding a Harley hadn't surprised her. Harley's screamed power. But a cab, the God of War in a taxi?

He turned to go, but she couldn't let him leave, not yet, not like that, she had to stop him but she'd never been much of a talker and couldn't think of what to say. So she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a deep kiss. She could taste the whiskey right away and was instantly pissed that he had come to her drunk spouting what could only be meaningless apologies. But she couldn't help herself, she started the kiss and she would finish it. It felt good to be kissing him again. She felt as if she were awakening from a two thousand year nap. This was what living felt like, she had almost forgotten. She pushed him away.

"You're drunk."

"Very," he didn't even protest which pleasantly surprised her.

She waved the cab off and pulled him inside. Holding his hand she led him to the couch in the lobby and indicated that he should sit down. She reached into the hall closet and fished out a spare pillow and a blanket. She fluffed the pillow and laid it on the couch. She handed him the blanket. "Why don't you get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow?"

Xena wanted to be mad at him. But she couldn't. She could feel how bad he was hurting and she wasn't going to add to his pain anymore than she already had.

"Sing to me?" the deep gravel in his voice caught her off guard.

"What?"

"Sing me to sleep." She wanted to deny the request, it seemed so absurd to sing a grown god
to sleep. Plus, she still wanted to be mad at him for making her feel all these feelings when he was going to wake up sober and be the same damn ass she had known her entire life, lives whatever, she was confused. But she found that she couldn't refuse him this kindness. He used to sing to her when she bathed after a hard battle. It always calmed her, settled her.

Xena tucked the blanket at his side and sat on the couch with him and began an ancient Thracian lullaby. Three minutes later he was snoring. She kissed him on the forehead and slipped back into her bedroom to a sleeping Gabrielle.