A/N: This is my first CJ fic ever, and my third fanfiction in total. This is something that has been playing in my mind ever since Dreamland, so I really hope it's not completely awful. If there are a lot of correction mistakes (although I have spell checked it) or badly put sentences, I have one excuse: I'm a fifteen year old Norwegian. They cancelled CJ after season 1 here in Norway, so I've only seen that one and season 5. If there are any facts I have got wrong because of this, please tell me ).

If you review it will really make my day. Please feel free to write your opinion, whatever that might be. I'm probably going to continue anyway, as I just have to write this! I'm not good at the whole rating thing, so I'll just rate it 'T' just to be sure.

This chapter is pretty short, I know, but I swear, the next chapters willbe longer and hopefully better.

Chapter 1: I already know

"I don't know why it happened".

When she had spoken the words, she had meant them to be true. But deep down she knew why, she knew exactly why. Explaining this to J.D, explaining how, was something she couldn't do. Not then, while he was staring at her from behind bars. Not later, when he told her he was going to Washington. Not now, when he got her admitting she had sabotaged their relationship. This time she had actually tried, she had really tried not hurting him, but she went ahead and did it anyway, no matter if she meant to or not.

"I guess I need to figure out what I want."

"I think you already know."

I think you already know. His words rang in her ears long after he'd left. And she did. She knew what she wanted, the problem was she didn't know how to get it. Her thoughts wandered back to the Lucy Carver Inn, to what had happened between her and Woody, remembering his kisses and caresses, the way he smelled, the way his skin felt against hers, and the fact that neither of them had woken up saying it had been a mistake. All the time she'd been friends with Woody, she had been willing to bet that if something like this ever happened between them, things would get awkward. So she was surprised to learn that nothing had changed, at least not on the surface.

Woody had been great. He hadn't pushed her in any way, he had patiently waited for her to tell J.D and when J.D punched him in the gut, he was able to see things from his perspective. But they needed to talk, figure out what it meant and what it would mean, "if anything", as Woody had put it. Jordan knew what it meant to her, but she couldn't bear herself to tell him, afraid of being shot down and hurt again. Last time she had shared her feelings, Woody had asked her to screw her pity and get the hell out. She couldn't risk that happening again, he was too important to her. The time after he got shot, when they could hardly look at each other, had been like hell. And when they were finally over the fighting and the anger, something like this happened.

Now that J.D was out of the picture, a part of her, although she refused to admit it, even to herself, had hoped Woody would now consider it safe to make her his. But he kept his distance.

"I don't want to be your rebound guy, Jordan," he told her when they were standing outside her apartment. He had followed her home after making sure both Garrett and Abbey were ok, and she had asked him if he wanted to come in.

She could have screamed. Rebound guy? If anyone was the rebound guy, it had been J.D.

"This thing we're doing, or thinking about doing, it feels…" he had continued, obviously not sure how to tell her what was on his mind.

"Too soon." She had meant it to be a question, but it came out as a statement. He didn't answer, just looked at her with his crystal blue eyes, the ones that always made her heart melt a little. Kissing his cheek goodbye, she watched him walk down the hallway before entering her apartment for some serious moping.

As the weeks passed, she saw a lot of Woody, but it was mainly work related. And it never seemed to be a right time to talk about 'them'. So she buried herself in her work as always, hoping that it would give her something else to think about. Apparently Woody did the same. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe they both needed to get on with their lives.

So she kept telling herself that he didn't want her and that she was over him, hoping that somewhere down the track she would start believing it. It would finally be true. But when she heard the rumours about Woody and the new detective Lu Simmons, she felt sick to the stomach. How could he start dating someone this soon?A wave of jealousy filled her along with the nausea. She hadn't felt like this since…since…Since Devan had been in the picture, she thought, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Before Devan died, she had been cold towards here, like some angry ex-girlfriend, only because she and Woody had begun dating. Promising herself she would never act like that again, she turned the other way, pretending she had never heard anything.

"I have no claim on Woody," she told herself repeatedly. Soon the anger disappeared, but the nausea was still there. It began affecting her work, as she often had to run and throw up, especially when Detective Simmons was there, working on a case. She hated feeling this way, she didn't want to dislike the woman, but there was nothing she could do about it.

What is the matter with me?

Then it hit her. This had nothing to do with Lu. This was all because of Woody.

One day she had locked herself in her office after yet another throwing up incident, she heard a knock on the door.

"Jordan, is everything ok?" Lily's voice asked. She got up and let her in, before sitting down again, putting her head in her hands. "You haven't been yourself lately. I'm worried about you," Lily said carefully, not sure if her friend wanted to talk or not. "I know it's none of my business, but if you let me, maybe I'll be able to help. You can tell me."

Jordan looked up. Lily was almost shocked to see how exhausted and sick she looked. "I, eh…" Jordan began, not really wanting to share what was on her mind, but she knew that she could trust Lily.

"I think I'm pregnant".

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