By: Sassafras Lei
It was rainy and still dark, when a young girl woke with a startle. Tootsie sat up in the dark room, and tried looking around it. She walked quietly around the clothes on the floor, as she made her way to the washroom. Racetrack looked very peaceful as she walked by him, she smiled to her self and thought 'finally everything's goin' right, everything's jus' perfuct'. She walked to a small sink in the corner, and threw cold water on her face. As she turned around the moonlight shown on her face. Tootsie walked to the window, and pried it open as quietly as possible, trying not to wake any of the guys up, because they all had to be tired. She climbed out slowly in her tank top and shorts, and then made her way up to the roof quickly, it was late fall and was cold out but she didn't seem to notice it. She sat on the edge knees tucked in against her cheast. The bridge would be coming into view soon; she looked at one point thinking. A few minutes later she fell against the roof, and then declared it. "Life sucks."
"Now where'd ya get dat idea?" David asked looking down at her. "Well, where should I's start. Okay first, Mush an' Sassy leave, den Spot gets chewed out 'cause he's cheatin', an' best of all Race has sort a been stayin' away, when he's got free time he goes ta da races." Tootsie told him everything that was going on.
"Oh, well, Sassy will be back, Spots gonna break down, an' Racetrack must have somthin' on his mind ya jus' need ta be there for him, an' you gotta be freezing." he said taking off his jacket and putting it on her shoulders.
"Yah, I's hope yer right, I's mean ya are 'bout Sassy, an' Spot, but Race...I's jus' hope yer right," David looked at her.
"Ya know it becomes winter officially dis weekend, an' deres s'pose ta be snow comin' in to." David said taking her mind of everything else.
"Oh really well I's will be waitin' fer a few days off, I've got enough money ta take three months off but I's savin' up ya know." Tootsie said smiling.
"Yah, I know what yer talkin' about," David said.
"What are ya doin' he'ah dis early anyways?" She finally asked, still looking at the sky as the stars were disappearing.
"Well, I's come he'ah now, and then, just ta wait fer Jack," she
looked at him. "What, I's heard ya walkin' around," she still didn't
change her expression.
"But it's only 'bout four in da mornin'," Tootsie said.
"Yeah, I know, I didn't wanna stay home with them all yellin'," David said. "Okay ya just need ta chill, and talk ta Race," he replied shortly.
"Hey David, what do ya thinks gonna happen wit' Jack? He ain't been da same since him, an' Sarah broke up." he looked at her slowly. "I'm not sure, but I imagine that the right one will come along, and he'll get back ta normal soon enough," David implied.
"I's really, really hope its soon," she paused "Anyways I bettah go get ready fer taday, plus I's gettin' cold." she said getting up and handing him his jacket back.
"Awlright, but just remember what I told ya though," he said. "Okay, I's will, Thanks." Tootsie said.
Tootsie climbed back through the window to see a few guys getting up at there slow pace. Then there were a few walking around yawning, trying to wake up more.
"Hey, Tootsie is it still rainin' out?" Sugar asked as she walked by. "Naw, it stopped," she said.
Tootsie walked past Racetrack who was still sleeping, and she sighed softly and sadly. By the time she was finished most of the guys had already left, and amazingly Race still wasn't up yet. Tootsie walked over to him, and then sat on the floor in front of him.
"Race, baby, come on ya gotta get up.........come on baby," she said shaking him lightly.
"What cha want?" he asked sitting up.
"Come on, we gotta sell da world," Tootsie said kissing him on the cheek.
"Oh, awright, I's getting' up Tootsie," he said stretching.
He got, and walked to the edge of his bed slowly as the last few people left the room to get the papers for the day.
"Hey Race, can I ask ya somthin'?" Tootsie asked, sitting on her bunk pulling up her hair.
"Of coarse ya can...Why what's wrong Toots?" Race asked looking up at her.
"I's was wonderin' if ya were mad at me, or what's goin' on?" he looked back to what he was doing.
"Tootsie, baby I's ain't mad at cha, I jus' need a lil' space fer awhile, it's somethin' I gotta deal wit'." he said taking her hand in his.
"Okay, Racetrack," she sighed; he kissed her and walked out.
Racetrack shook his head as he walked down the stairs slowly. He knew he had seen the hurt in her eyes before he had left the room. Tootsie stood against the door twirling the necklace he had gotten her. She promised herself she wouldn't let a tear drop though. As tears welled up in her eyes, she held them back as long as possible, and some how she only let one tear slide down her cheek. Tootsie walked to the distribution alley slowly thinking too herself about what had just happened. Tootsie definitely wasn't sure what she was going too do now. Tootsie walked over to her selling spot a little upset that Racetrack was pushing her away. She shook if off though as she got ready to sell her papers for the day though. As she went on selling Racetrack was the farthest thing from her mind, for the time being. Tootsie had finished selling she turned around running straight into Kid Blink.
"Gawd I'm so sahrry Blink, my heads in da sky taday, aftah Race walked away like he did," she said regaining her money off the street.
"It's okay, he walked away from ya? I's sahrry," Blink said hugging her.
"I'm okay don't worry 'bout it, it ain't nuthin'." she said.
"Where ya headed off to?" she looked up at him.
"I's don't know, anywhere ta find somethin' ta do, I's done sellin' fer taday." he smiled at her.
"Do ya mind if I come wit' cha, or do ya wanna be alone right now?" Tootsie looked up at him smiling.
"Awright, I don't mind dat cha wanna come along," he laughed at her, but followed.
Tootsie walked off, and Blink followed her to Tibbys, some how Kid Blink had made and gotten her to forget all about Racetrack and what was going on so far. That was at least until she walked in Tibbys and saw him sitting in the corner by himself playing with his hat. She turned around fast to head back out the door but Kid Blink stopped her, and made her sit down with him, David, Sugar, and Jack. Tootsie didn't think she could look at him so she sat herself facing the window so she couldn't see him.
"Tootsie... 'ey Tootsie are ya awright?" Jack asked looking at her.
"What... yah, I's awright everything's fine." Tootsie said popping her knuckles.
"Are ya sure, ya look sorta out of it Toots." Sugar said placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Yah, I's positive I'm fine jus' got some stuff on my mind." She said and got up walking out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Racetrack had finished selling the morning edition early, and since he had nothing better to do he headed to Tibbys. He walked in sat himself at a back table and ordered a drink, and started thinking to himself about what was going on. It wasn't really cold out but the people in the city knew the snow would be coming soon, and Racetrack wasn't looking forward to it. The cold weather and the month of December always made him really upset, and yet only a few people knew why that was. Race looked up at least twenty times as people went in and out of the small restaurant, he was sort of waiting to see Tootsie. Half an hour later he looked up one last time figuring it wasn't going to be her but to his relief it was. Racetrack watched as Tootsie came in sat with Jack and some of the boys, then walk out slowly twenty minutes later. He hesitated for a moment but as soon as Tootsie was out of site he got up and followed the same path she had taken. He gave a small shiver and pulled his small jacket tighter around him. Race sighed and thought 'Gawd da tempature must of drop thirty degrees since I woke up' He turned a corner looking up saw Tootsie leaning against a street post watching two kids on the other side of the street playing. Racetrack wished he could be that young again with out having a worry or care in the world, they looked so innocent. He hesitated but slowly decided he needed to talk to Tootsie about earlier. "Hey could we talk Toots?" Race asked placing a hand on her shoulder. "We could, but cha might tell me ya really jus' need some space right now, an' I really don't wanna take dat chance." She said looking at him. "Now what da hell is dat suppose ta mean?" she frowned a little. "What do ya think it means? Look when you've got enough space den we can talk. Ya know I's love ya Race but I's jus' can't take dis right now." Tootsie said pulling her hat down and walking off. "Have I's lost 'er awready?" Racetrack asked himself quietly. "Naw, not yet jus' take some time off den talk to her in a few days or a week or two." David said walking up to the side of him. "Yah, maybe dats what's best fer both of us right now," Racetrack said agreeing with him. "Possibly ya jus' need some time away so maybe ya'll should jus' be friends fer awhile." David said. "Well it gives ya some choices ta think over." And he walked off slowly. Racetrack didn't want to give up on the relationship and his feelings wouldn't let him either. He loved her just as much as she loved him if not more, but he didn't want to see her hurt, and he could tell she was hurting now. Maybe David was right, but he didn't see how he could go on ignoring her while he saw her everyday. He'd have to try he was just not handling the past well this year nor the present. He walked back to the lodging house slowly thinking about what was going on. Did he really want to do this to himself and Tootsie? He didn't seem to have a choice his spirit wouldn't let him rest. Race had to deal with this once again just like the years before, but maybe if he was lucky this year he'd find a way to put everything all behind him. Racetrack walked into lodging house to see that Mush was back and with him was a girl. He walked over to Mush slowly to ask who his friend was then he was headed upstairs.
"Mush, have ya seen Tootsie or Jack around?" Race asked looking down at him.
"Yah dis is Glory, Tootsie wit' Kid Blink some where, an' Jacks at da park." Mush said looking at him.
"Okay, thanks," Race said and walked up to the boys rooms.
He went up stairs and walked into the boys room, none of the boys were there yet and he didn't care. Racetrack fell onto his bed a little disappointed that Tootsie was with another guy. He wasn't jealous just wishing she was with him instead of Kid Blink. Racetrack knew that Kid wouldn't make any moves on her, but them being together made him a little uncomfortable.
He hit his pillow he was aggravated with himself because he wasn't being there for Tootsie. He tried clearing his mind, and fell in to a deep sleep that proved to be not so restful. He should have been out there moving the papes keeping his mind off everything, but selling just wasn't that great of an option.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tootsie dropped to the curb and flipped through the afternoon edition. Kid Blink stood near her calling out headlines, trying to sell the papers. She through her papers on the ground, and stood up mad. She picked up her papers and dropped them in a trash bin aggravated. Kid Blink looked over at her and his jaw dropped, she was throwing away money.
"What are ya doin'?" he asked shocked.
"I'm givin' up, an' goin' ta see Sass." She said starting to walk away.
"Only one problem wit' yer plan, Sassy still ain't back yet." Blink said smiling at her.
"Damn, its not fair she needs to be he'ah now, I's need ta talk ta her," she said turning around.
"So why don't cha talk ta, Light or Kat, or Ginger? Dere always around right?" he asked.
"Right," Tootsie said walking away, he didn't understand no one would really understand except Sassy.
"I'll neva' unda stood dat goil," Blink said to himself.
"Jus' don't botha' tryin' ya can't unda stand goils none of us can." Came a familiar voice.
"Well Mush its 'bout time ya came back it been at least a week now ya've been back, I's think most of da guys fergot ya even left," Kid Blink said turning around.
"Dats really okay, so where's Sass at? I heard ya say she wasn't back yet." Mush said.
"We don't know where she's at, she's gone anyways glad ta have ya back." Said Blink.
"Yah glad ta be back, ya know Jerseys Newspaper system really suck," Mush said picking up a paper.
"Okay dats great ta know." He said laughing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tootsie had walked off to find some one to talk to, but she didn't seem to be having very much luck at it. She finally stopped at the corner of a street and sat down, she didn't know what to do or who she could talk to; she was also starting to get really cold. Tootsie listened to the people walk by behind her 'da rhythm of da streets'. One stopped in the middle of a sentence and the middle of a step, Tootsie didn't turn around though. She did however look up when the two girls sat down on either side of her. It was two of her friends from Brooklyn, Violet, and Buttercup.
"Heya Tootsie are ya okay, ya look kind well miserable." Violet said looking at her.
"Oh, I's jus' got a lot of things on my mind, Racetrack mostly. Somethin's been botherin' him for da last few weeks but dis mornin' he finally turned away, he need's his time what am I's suppose ta do," said Tootsie telling them what had been going on.
"Maybe something happened in the past dats comin' up soon an' he jus' needs some time to get through wit' it fer once and all." Buttercup said.
"Yah, I's guess ya could have a point dere, I jus' hope he gets ova dis little thing soon, what ever it is, I's jus' tryin' not ta interfere right now, I's don't wanna hurt him anymore." Tootsie said resting her chin on her hand.
"Well, have ya tried askin' Spot 'bout it dere like best friends plus Spot knows everything... at least he thinks he does." Violet said as the others laughed.
"Yah, I's guess I's will go talk ta Spot, I'll see ya two lata, oh an' by da way thanks." Tootsie said and starting walking off.
Tootsie started walking off she made it half way across the bridge and stopped. What was she doing, she should ask Racetrack again but he'd probably just turn her away again. Well if he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him than he couldn't get to mad when she goes to his best friend. She watched the water like so many times before, but it wasn't flowing smoothly anymore, now it was rushing down stream and cracking as it hit the grounds.
"Tootsie, what are doin' he'ah seems like yous was just he'ah a few weeks ago." Spot said seeing her.
"Heya Spot how's it rollin'?" she asked still looking at the river.
"What's wrong now Toots?" he asked smiling.
"What happened in some past December wit' Race? I's know ya know Spot so jus' tell me." She said turning around.
"Yah, I's know but I's don't think I should be da one ta tell ya it isn't right, Race should be da one ta tell ya its his life," Spot said.
"I's knew you'd say dat, he won't talk to me so I's doubt he'd tell me, jus' tell me ya don't know what dis is doin' ta me Spot." She said her eyes going blurry.
"No, I's jus' can't do it he made me promise I's wouldn't tell," he said placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Awww...dis is gonna send me ta da nut house I's cant take it," she said and started to cry.
"No don't cry, if he wont tell ya with in da next week well.. I's guess I will." He said wiping away a few tears.
He kissed the top of her cheek, and she looked up at him as he did it again all though a little lower. Tootsie felt a sense of forbiddance and at the same time something was welcoming her. Spot kissed her one last time but this time it didn't land on her cheek but on her lips. He broke the kiss a minute later and apologized he knew he shouldn't of done that, but it just happened.
After that they both agreed it would be better if they didn't tell Racetrack or Sassy about what had happened. When they had both agreed on it they went there separate ways back to the cities they each lived in.
Tootsie touched two fingers to her lips, she couldn't believe that her best friends boyfriend had kissed her. She couldn't say she didn't like it but she know it was wrong they both did. She knew better then anyone though that if Sassy caught wind of it when she got back that would be the end of Spot and her. Tootsie smiled to herself when Sassy got mad no one wanted to miss it unless you were the person she was getting mad at.
That night Tootsie lay awake thinking about what Spot had said maybe if she kept pushing Race then maybe he would tell her. She barley smiled as she pulled the covers around her it was getting cold in the lodging house now. Racetrack looked over at Tootsie she seemed to be staring into space it had been awhile since he'd seen her actually smile, and she was getting more depressed by the day. Maybe though she would talk to him in the next few days, and he would make her come clean.
The next day was the same way as the day before, Racetrack and Tootsie avoided each other. Racetrack left for the next two mornings before Tootsie had even gotten up, after he finished selling he went to the Sheep shed Races, and wasted his time. On the other hand Tootsie was trying to work up the courage to go up to and ask Racetrack what was bothering him. Finally on Friday after Tootsie had finished selling the afternoon edition, she made her way to the racetracks on the other side of town.
She stopped across the street from the Sheep Shed Race slowly she made her way across the road dodging a trolley. Tootsie walked around the gate and to were the seats were at, and looked through the people. She scanned the crowd one more time as she walked through a few men who were talking. There he was standing against a fence looking down at the track, he looked so sad. Tootsie walked over to him with a quick pace, she had to know and maybe now she would finally find out.
"Heya Race," she said standing beside him.
"So ya talkin' ta me again?" he asked looking over at her.
"Yah, I's guessin' I am... 'cause I's have ta know..." Tootsie stopped and turned to him.
"What is it dat ya have ta know?" he replied.
"What happened in da past? Don't turn away from me, I's yer girlfriend were s'pose ta be able ta tell each other everything." Tootsie said sitting down.
"Three yeah's ago...me youngah botha was killed...'cause I's wasn't dere when he went lookin' fer trouble...messin' wit' anudda boy's goil...warned 'im four or five times las' time was worst...." Racetrack stopped he was having trouble telling her what he had already told.
"I's sahrry ya don't have ta tell me anymore Race." Tootsie said and hugged him.
"No I's gonna finish tellin' ya 'cause maybe if I's do den I won't get so depressed anymore. Anyways dat last time he was seen with her, her boy pulled out a gun an' shot 'im right through da heart, he wouldn't listen ta anyone an' look where he ended up...I's jus' feel dere was somethin' I's coulda of done somethin' ta stop it...if he would of listened ta me....gawd." Racetrack said putting an arm around her.
"Race I's sahrry 'bout yer brudda, but did it help ya feel any betta 'bout it?" she asked looking up into his eyes.
"Yah, I's think it really did, more den anyone could eva guess it would." He told her, as they walked back to the lodging house.
"Oh Racetrack! I's jus' glad ya thought ya could tell me, an' happy dat ya did finally, I's was beginin' ta feel a little isolated afta everything dats happened." Tootsie said.
"Well ya know two almost three weeks does get a little extreme, wit' out talkin' ta me when ya see me everyday. Have I's told ya lately dat I's love ya?" Racetrack asked stopping her.
"What well no I's guess ya haven't have ya it must have been three weeks ya haven't said it in." said Tootsie. "Okay I's will," he said as Tootsie smiled.
Oh that smile Racetrack loved that smile and it had been so long since he had seen it. He loved her so much he didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her, but he never planed to so it wouldn't matter. Together they walked into the lodging house, this was still both of there homes even after so many troubles that accord.
That night the two fell asleep happy each of them loved the other one, everything was okay again. As long as they were talking nothing could go wrong that way, everything would be great if they stuck together. Tootsie fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in a long time; she was also happy she didn't have to go to Spot to find out about Racetracks past.
It was rainy and still dark, when a young girl woke with a startle. Tootsie sat up in the dark room, and tried looking around it. She walked quietly around the clothes on the floor, as she made her way to the washroom. Racetrack looked very peaceful as she walked by him, she smiled to her self and thought 'finally everything's goin' right, everything's jus' perfuct'. She walked to a small sink in the corner, and threw cold water on her face. As she turned around the moonlight shown on her face. Tootsie walked to the window, and pried it open as quietly as possible, trying not to wake any of the guys up, because they all had to be tired. She climbed out slowly in her tank top and shorts, and then made her way up to the roof quickly, it was late fall and was cold out but she didn't seem to notice it. She sat on the edge knees tucked in against her cheast. The bridge would be coming into view soon; she looked at one point thinking. A few minutes later she fell against the roof, and then declared it. "Life sucks."
"Now where'd ya get dat idea?" David asked looking down at her. "Well, where should I's start. Okay first, Mush an' Sassy leave, den Spot gets chewed out 'cause he's cheatin', an' best of all Race has sort a been stayin' away, when he's got free time he goes ta da races." Tootsie told him everything that was going on.
"Oh, well, Sassy will be back, Spots gonna break down, an' Racetrack must have somthin' on his mind ya jus' need ta be there for him, an' you gotta be freezing." he said taking off his jacket and putting it on her shoulders.
"Yah, I's hope yer right, I's mean ya are 'bout Sassy, an' Spot, but Race...I's jus' hope yer right," David looked at her.
"Ya know it becomes winter officially dis weekend, an' deres s'pose ta be snow comin' in to." David said taking her mind of everything else.
"Oh really well I's will be waitin' fer a few days off, I've got enough money ta take three months off but I's savin' up ya know." Tootsie said smiling.
"Yah, I know what yer talkin' about," David said.
"What are ya doin' he'ah dis early anyways?" She finally asked, still looking at the sky as the stars were disappearing.
"Well, I's come he'ah now, and then, just ta wait fer Jack," she
looked at him. "What, I's heard ya walkin' around," she still didn't
change her expression.
"But it's only 'bout four in da mornin'," Tootsie said.
"Yeah, I know, I didn't wanna stay home with them all yellin'," David said. "Okay ya just need ta chill, and talk ta Race," he replied shortly.
"Hey David, what do ya thinks gonna happen wit' Jack? He ain't been da same since him, an' Sarah broke up." he looked at her slowly. "I'm not sure, but I imagine that the right one will come along, and he'll get back ta normal soon enough," David implied.
"I's really, really hope its soon," she paused "Anyways I bettah go get ready fer taday, plus I's gettin' cold." she said getting up and handing him his jacket back.
"Awlright, but just remember what I told ya though," he said. "Okay, I's will, Thanks." Tootsie said.
Tootsie climbed back through the window to see a few guys getting up at there slow pace. Then there were a few walking around yawning, trying to wake up more.
"Hey, Tootsie is it still rainin' out?" Sugar asked as she walked by. "Naw, it stopped," she said.
Tootsie walked past Racetrack who was still sleeping, and she sighed softly and sadly. By the time she was finished most of the guys had already left, and amazingly Race still wasn't up yet. Tootsie walked over to him, and then sat on the floor in front of him.
"Race, baby, come on ya gotta get up.........come on baby," she said shaking him lightly.
"What cha want?" he asked sitting up.
"Come on, we gotta sell da world," Tootsie said kissing him on the cheek.
"Oh, awright, I's getting' up Tootsie," he said stretching.
He got, and walked to the edge of his bed slowly as the last few people left the room to get the papers for the day.
"Hey Race, can I ask ya somthin'?" Tootsie asked, sitting on her bunk pulling up her hair.
"Of coarse ya can...Why what's wrong Toots?" Race asked looking up at her.
"I's was wonderin' if ya were mad at me, or what's goin' on?" he looked back to what he was doing.
"Tootsie, baby I's ain't mad at cha, I jus' need a lil' space fer awhile, it's somethin' I gotta deal wit'." he said taking her hand in his.
"Okay, Racetrack," she sighed; he kissed her and walked out.
Racetrack shook his head as he walked down the stairs slowly. He knew he had seen the hurt in her eyes before he had left the room. Tootsie stood against the door twirling the necklace he had gotten her. She promised herself she wouldn't let a tear drop though. As tears welled up in her eyes, she held them back as long as possible, and some how she only let one tear slide down her cheek. Tootsie walked to the distribution alley slowly thinking too herself about what had just happened. Tootsie definitely wasn't sure what she was going too do now. Tootsie walked over to her selling spot a little upset that Racetrack was pushing her away. She shook if off though as she got ready to sell her papers for the day though. As she went on selling Racetrack was the farthest thing from her mind, for the time being. Tootsie had finished selling she turned around running straight into Kid Blink.
"Gawd I'm so sahrry Blink, my heads in da sky taday, aftah Race walked away like he did," she said regaining her money off the street.
"It's okay, he walked away from ya? I's sahrry," Blink said hugging her.
"I'm okay don't worry 'bout it, it ain't nuthin'." she said.
"Where ya headed off to?" she looked up at him.
"I's don't know, anywhere ta find somethin' ta do, I's done sellin' fer taday." he smiled at her.
"Do ya mind if I come wit' cha, or do ya wanna be alone right now?" Tootsie looked up at him smiling.
"Awright, I don't mind dat cha wanna come along," he laughed at her, but followed.
Tootsie walked off, and Blink followed her to Tibbys, some how Kid Blink had made and gotten her to forget all about Racetrack and what was going on so far. That was at least until she walked in Tibbys and saw him sitting in the corner by himself playing with his hat. She turned around fast to head back out the door but Kid Blink stopped her, and made her sit down with him, David, Sugar, and Jack. Tootsie didn't think she could look at him so she sat herself facing the window so she couldn't see him.
"Tootsie... 'ey Tootsie are ya awright?" Jack asked looking at her.
"What... yah, I's awright everything's fine." Tootsie said popping her knuckles.
"Are ya sure, ya look sorta out of it Toots." Sugar said placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Yah, I's positive I'm fine jus' got some stuff on my mind." She said and got up walking out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Racetrack had finished selling the morning edition early, and since he had nothing better to do he headed to Tibbys. He walked in sat himself at a back table and ordered a drink, and started thinking to himself about what was going on. It wasn't really cold out but the people in the city knew the snow would be coming soon, and Racetrack wasn't looking forward to it. The cold weather and the month of December always made him really upset, and yet only a few people knew why that was. Race looked up at least twenty times as people went in and out of the small restaurant, he was sort of waiting to see Tootsie. Half an hour later he looked up one last time figuring it wasn't going to be her but to his relief it was. Racetrack watched as Tootsie came in sat with Jack and some of the boys, then walk out slowly twenty minutes later. He hesitated for a moment but as soon as Tootsie was out of site he got up and followed the same path she had taken. He gave a small shiver and pulled his small jacket tighter around him. Race sighed and thought 'Gawd da tempature must of drop thirty degrees since I woke up' He turned a corner looking up saw Tootsie leaning against a street post watching two kids on the other side of the street playing. Racetrack wished he could be that young again with out having a worry or care in the world, they looked so innocent. He hesitated but slowly decided he needed to talk to Tootsie about earlier. "Hey could we talk Toots?" Race asked placing a hand on her shoulder. "We could, but cha might tell me ya really jus' need some space right now, an' I really don't wanna take dat chance." She said looking at him. "Now what da hell is dat suppose ta mean?" she frowned a little. "What do ya think it means? Look when you've got enough space den we can talk. Ya know I's love ya Race but I's jus' can't take dis right now." Tootsie said pulling her hat down and walking off. "Have I's lost 'er awready?" Racetrack asked himself quietly. "Naw, not yet jus' take some time off den talk to her in a few days or a week or two." David said walking up to the side of him. "Yah, maybe dats what's best fer both of us right now," Racetrack said agreeing with him. "Possibly ya jus' need some time away so maybe ya'll should jus' be friends fer awhile." David said. "Well it gives ya some choices ta think over." And he walked off slowly. Racetrack didn't want to give up on the relationship and his feelings wouldn't let him either. He loved her just as much as she loved him if not more, but he didn't want to see her hurt, and he could tell she was hurting now. Maybe David was right, but he didn't see how he could go on ignoring her while he saw her everyday. He'd have to try he was just not handling the past well this year nor the present. He walked back to the lodging house slowly thinking about what was going on. Did he really want to do this to himself and Tootsie? He didn't seem to have a choice his spirit wouldn't let him rest. Race had to deal with this once again just like the years before, but maybe if he was lucky this year he'd find a way to put everything all behind him. Racetrack walked into lodging house to see that Mush was back and with him was a girl. He walked over to Mush slowly to ask who his friend was then he was headed upstairs.
"Mush, have ya seen Tootsie or Jack around?" Race asked looking down at him.
"Yah dis is Glory, Tootsie wit' Kid Blink some where, an' Jacks at da park." Mush said looking at him.
"Okay, thanks," Race said and walked up to the boys rooms.
He went up stairs and walked into the boys room, none of the boys were there yet and he didn't care. Racetrack fell onto his bed a little disappointed that Tootsie was with another guy. He wasn't jealous just wishing she was with him instead of Kid Blink. Racetrack knew that Kid wouldn't make any moves on her, but them being together made him a little uncomfortable.
He hit his pillow he was aggravated with himself because he wasn't being there for Tootsie. He tried clearing his mind, and fell in to a deep sleep that proved to be not so restful. He should have been out there moving the papes keeping his mind off everything, but selling just wasn't that great of an option.
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Tootsie dropped to the curb and flipped through the afternoon edition. Kid Blink stood near her calling out headlines, trying to sell the papers. She through her papers on the ground, and stood up mad. She picked up her papers and dropped them in a trash bin aggravated. Kid Blink looked over at her and his jaw dropped, she was throwing away money.
"What are ya doin'?" he asked shocked.
"I'm givin' up, an' goin' ta see Sass." She said starting to walk away.
"Only one problem wit' yer plan, Sassy still ain't back yet." Blink said smiling at her.
"Damn, its not fair she needs to be he'ah now, I's need ta talk ta her," she said turning around.
"So why don't cha talk ta, Light or Kat, or Ginger? Dere always around right?" he asked.
"Right," Tootsie said walking away, he didn't understand no one would really understand except Sassy.
"I'll neva' unda stood dat goil," Blink said to himself.
"Jus' don't botha' tryin' ya can't unda stand goils none of us can." Came a familiar voice.
"Well Mush its 'bout time ya came back it been at least a week now ya've been back, I's think most of da guys fergot ya even left," Kid Blink said turning around.
"Dats really okay, so where's Sass at? I heard ya say she wasn't back yet." Mush said.
"We don't know where she's at, she's gone anyways glad ta have ya back." Said Blink.
"Yah glad ta be back, ya know Jerseys Newspaper system really suck," Mush said picking up a paper.
"Okay dats great ta know." He said laughing.
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Tootsie had walked off to find some one to talk to, but she didn't seem to be having very much luck at it. She finally stopped at the corner of a street and sat down, she didn't know what to do or who she could talk to; she was also starting to get really cold. Tootsie listened to the people walk by behind her 'da rhythm of da streets'. One stopped in the middle of a sentence and the middle of a step, Tootsie didn't turn around though. She did however look up when the two girls sat down on either side of her. It was two of her friends from Brooklyn, Violet, and Buttercup.
"Heya Tootsie are ya okay, ya look kind well miserable." Violet said looking at her.
"Oh, I's jus' got a lot of things on my mind, Racetrack mostly. Somethin's been botherin' him for da last few weeks but dis mornin' he finally turned away, he need's his time what am I's suppose ta do," said Tootsie telling them what had been going on.
"Maybe something happened in the past dats comin' up soon an' he jus' needs some time to get through wit' it fer once and all." Buttercup said.
"Yah, I's guess ya could have a point dere, I jus' hope he gets ova dis little thing soon, what ever it is, I's jus' tryin' not ta interfere right now, I's don't wanna hurt him anymore." Tootsie said resting her chin on her hand.
"Well, have ya tried askin' Spot 'bout it dere like best friends plus Spot knows everything... at least he thinks he does." Violet said as the others laughed.
"Yah, I's guess I's will go talk ta Spot, I'll see ya two lata, oh an' by da way thanks." Tootsie said and starting walking off.
Tootsie started walking off she made it half way across the bridge and stopped. What was she doing, she should ask Racetrack again but he'd probably just turn her away again. Well if he wouldn't tell her what was bothering him than he couldn't get to mad when she goes to his best friend. She watched the water like so many times before, but it wasn't flowing smoothly anymore, now it was rushing down stream and cracking as it hit the grounds.
"Tootsie, what are doin' he'ah seems like yous was just he'ah a few weeks ago." Spot said seeing her.
"Heya Spot how's it rollin'?" she asked still looking at the river.
"What's wrong now Toots?" he asked smiling.
"What happened in some past December wit' Race? I's know ya know Spot so jus' tell me." She said turning around.
"Yah, I's know but I's don't think I should be da one ta tell ya it isn't right, Race should be da one ta tell ya its his life," Spot said.
"I's knew you'd say dat, he won't talk to me so I's doubt he'd tell me, jus' tell me ya don't know what dis is doin' ta me Spot." She said her eyes going blurry.
"No, I's jus' can't do it he made me promise I's wouldn't tell," he said placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Awww...dis is gonna send me ta da nut house I's cant take it," she said and started to cry.
"No don't cry, if he wont tell ya with in da next week well.. I's guess I will." He said wiping away a few tears.
He kissed the top of her cheek, and she looked up at him as he did it again all though a little lower. Tootsie felt a sense of forbiddance and at the same time something was welcoming her. Spot kissed her one last time but this time it didn't land on her cheek but on her lips. He broke the kiss a minute later and apologized he knew he shouldn't of done that, but it just happened.
After that they both agreed it would be better if they didn't tell Racetrack or Sassy about what had happened. When they had both agreed on it they went there separate ways back to the cities they each lived in.
Tootsie touched two fingers to her lips, she couldn't believe that her best friends boyfriend had kissed her. She couldn't say she didn't like it but she know it was wrong they both did. She knew better then anyone though that if Sassy caught wind of it when she got back that would be the end of Spot and her. Tootsie smiled to herself when Sassy got mad no one wanted to miss it unless you were the person she was getting mad at.
That night Tootsie lay awake thinking about what Spot had said maybe if she kept pushing Race then maybe he would tell her. She barley smiled as she pulled the covers around her it was getting cold in the lodging house now. Racetrack looked over at Tootsie she seemed to be staring into space it had been awhile since he'd seen her actually smile, and she was getting more depressed by the day. Maybe though she would talk to him in the next few days, and he would make her come clean.
The next day was the same way as the day before, Racetrack and Tootsie avoided each other. Racetrack left for the next two mornings before Tootsie had even gotten up, after he finished selling he went to the Sheep shed Races, and wasted his time. On the other hand Tootsie was trying to work up the courage to go up to and ask Racetrack what was bothering him. Finally on Friday after Tootsie had finished selling the afternoon edition, she made her way to the racetracks on the other side of town.
She stopped across the street from the Sheep Shed Race slowly she made her way across the road dodging a trolley. Tootsie walked around the gate and to were the seats were at, and looked through the people. She scanned the crowd one more time as she walked through a few men who were talking. There he was standing against a fence looking down at the track, he looked so sad. Tootsie walked over to him with a quick pace, she had to know and maybe now she would finally find out.
"Heya Race," she said standing beside him.
"So ya talkin' ta me again?" he asked looking over at her.
"Yah, I's guessin' I am... 'cause I's have ta know..." Tootsie stopped and turned to him.
"What is it dat ya have ta know?" he replied.
"What happened in da past? Don't turn away from me, I's yer girlfriend were s'pose ta be able ta tell each other everything." Tootsie said sitting down.
"Three yeah's ago...me youngah botha was killed...'cause I's wasn't dere when he went lookin' fer trouble...messin' wit' anudda boy's goil...warned 'im four or five times las' time was worst...." Racetrack stopped he was having trouble telling her what he had already told.
"I's sahrry ya don't have ta tell me anymore Race." Tootsie said and hugged him.
"No I's gonna finish tellin' ya 'cause maybe if I's do den I won't get so depressed anymore. Anyways dat last time he was seen with her, her boy pulled out a gun an' shot 'im right through da heart, he wouldn't listen ta anyone an' look where he ended up...I's jus' feel dere was somethin' I's coulda of done somethin' ta stop it...if he would of listened ta me....gawd." Racetrack said putting an arm around her.
"Race I's sahrry 'bout yer brudda, but did it help ya feel any betta 'bout it?" she asked looking up into his eyes.
"Yah, I's think it really did, more den anyone could eva guess it would." He told her, as they walked back to the lodging house.
"Oh Racetrack! I's jus' glad ya thought ya could tell me, an' happy dat ya did finally, I's was beginin' ta feel a little isolated afta everything dats happened." Tootsie said.
"Well ya know two almost three weeks does get a little extreme, wit' out talkin' ta me when ya see me everyday. Have I's told ya lately dat I's love ya?" Racetrack asked stopping her.
"What well no I's guess ya haven't have ya it must have been three weeks ya haven't said it in." said Tootsie. "Okay I's will," he said as Tootsie smiled.
Oh that smile Racetrack loved that smile and it had been so long since he had seen it. He loved her so much he didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her, but he never planed to so it wouldn't matter. Together they walked into the lodging house, this was still both of there homes even after so many troubles that accord.
That night the two fell asleep happy each of them loved the other one, everything was okay again. As long as they were talking nothing could go wrong that way, everything would be great if they stuck together. Tootsie fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in a long time; she was also happy she didn't have to go to Spot to find out about Racetracks past.