Tacking Starboard
Chapter 04
When she graduated high school, she didn't expect to open her mailbox and receive that large letter with the official stampings on it; when she graduated with a master's in computer science, she didn't expect to get a call from Ritsuko Akagi offering her a position at a UN special agency; when she put on her shoes this morning, she didn't expect to hear the alarms blare across Tokyo-03; and when she attended her battle station, she didn't expect bear witness to a battle quite like this. Maya Ibuki wasn't exactly the most expectant person. She tried in life, of course, but she never expected anything out of it. This goes beyond expectations, however. Even the worst nightmare would hardly hold a candle Maya's last few months.
She watched the battle unfold in shock. Unit 02's pilot was always such a feisty girl, but she didn't expect to see such a visceral manifestation of her rage.
She looked around. The command bridge was silent save for hushed whispers and gasps whenever something broke or snapped or caved. What commands could possibly be given at this time? What additional process checks could be done? Despite the apparent nature of the fighting and the gashes in the armor of Unit 02, the sync ratio was holding at a steady sixty-nine percent. The internal reserve power still had a minute forty-five on it, and they were on the verge of victory, whatever that meant. Unit 01 was completely unscathed and was standing by. The Evas were in top condition, she checked a million times. There was nothing more but to bear witness to the horror of man's creation combating its corrupted counterpart. Maya's time at Nerv was already very memorable, but this sight in particular was the kind to haunt memories and dreams for years to come.
01x02
Befitting of a furtive organisation head, his office was cold; it was always cold. Ikari said he preferred it that way, said that he always felt warm. Fuyutsuki figured that was a lie, but he couldn't explain why he thought that way. Gendo was more comfortable around him and so was not holding his typical pose. In fact, he was oddly sitting with his feet on the desk, leaning back in his chair. Fuyutsuki, leaning on the side of the desk, felt that the distance between them was still quite significant. Was it really worth dealing with this just to have a chance at seeing Yui again? Did he have a choice? At this point he's just going through the motions. Ending it all early would just be a waste, why not try to make something of it?
"It's unfortunate we weren't able to test out the dummy plug," he found himself saying.
"Indeed. I still have confidence the system will work but we'll have to wait for the next opportunity to put it to the test."
"What do you think of the pilots' performance?"
"The pilots seemed to have retained some of their synergy from their seventh angel training, however imperfect." Gendo took his feet off the desk and sat up. "I believe their abilities will be sufficient to defeat the rest of the angels, barring extraneous circumstances, but they will not be enough to prevent our scenario."
"Such fantastic tricks before high heaven."
"Indeed."
01x02
"And just why can't we tell him now?" Misato said as she swirled her food around with chopsticks.
"I haven't finished my observations of his progress yet. Didn't you say he was getting headaches around Asuka." Ritsuko looked over the top of her glasses.
"At first, but I don't remember there being much of that beyond the first day or two. He wasn't exactly super social before, so I don't know if he's been avoiding her because of it."
"Just a couple more days, Misato. I promise."
"Ugh. This better be worth it."
"It will. With any luck, the increased understanding of how the angels interface with human minds may enhance our defense against any potential psychological attacks."
"Okay then." Misato stared off into the distance, wondering how the hell one defends against a psychological attack let alone mount one.
01x02
"Great. This place, again," he said.
Once more, this unfamiliar ceiling, once more. Is it really so unfamiliar now? He supposed that he should be used to it given the dangerous nature of his job. Shinji Ikari, saviour of the world many times over, frequent hospital resident. It sounded kind of stupid to him, shameful, even. He didn't yet have the foresight to understand that there was no shame in it. He didn't understand that his success was plenty, and that the hospital staff was more than happy to take care of him. After all, he allowed them to live at least one more day, to die a death at the hands of something other than God's messengers. He would understand one day, many years into the future, and look back upon moments like this with disdainful acceptance. That day was definitely not today. In the meantime, he wished for nothing but to reduce the sensation that he was a burden upon others.
He hated feeling like a burden more than anything. He felt like a waste of resources as is. After that time with his father in the train station, he felt that he had to reduce his impact on other people at all costs. If he caused too much conflict, they'd abandon him too.
It was then he noticed someone sitting to his right, someone who likely had more reasons than he even knew to abandon him.
Asuka was reading a book. The characters weren't Japanese, so he didn't know what it was. Though at this point, he thought that she wasn't even really reading it, just pretending to as he saw a blue eye peering through her side-bangs.
"Hey Asuka," he said. The simple phrase nearly got caught in his throat. It wasn't because of the usual nerves he felt around her, though.
She did her best impression of an Asuka statue before exhaling and slumping her shoulders slightly.
"Hey Shinji," she said. She didn't turn towards him.
"How long have you been there?"
"Long enough."
"Right."
He had many questions he wanted to ask, many things he wanted to know. He hated feeling like he was causing strive with his curiosity, especially with someone as volatile as Asuka. He had a choice. He either had to take the leap or suffer wondering the rest of his life. He didn't know how to say what he wanted to, but he elected to try. He could always just shut up if it started to go bad.
"Asuka?" he said.
"Yeah?"
"What happened?"
"What do you mean?" She finally turned towards him, eyebrow raised.
"Against the angel, the Eva. What happened?"
"We defeated it."
"I know that."
"The recovery teams parked our Evas back in their bays."
"I could have guessed that."
She slammed her book closed, it echoed in the quiet room.
"So then what did you mean by 'what happened'?" she said.
"I mean with you. I saw-"
"You saw." Her features grew harder by the second.
"I saw you-"
"You saw me."
"I saw you fighting."
"Well duh, of course you did. I was literally there Shinji. So were you."
"No, I mean I saw you, your hands, you were-"
"My hands. My hands? Shinji what the hell are you trying to say."
Damn it. He knew it would be like this. He took a deep breath before continuing.
"What happened when you were killing that Eva? Unit 02 didn't look berserk. It was all you," he said.
That gave her pause. Her eyes bored holes into him, studying his expression, attempting to drill his secrets out with a mere gaze. His hands gripped the hospital sheets.
"Do you really want to know," she said.
"I think I do."
"I don't think you do."
"I think I do; I want to know you."
"Hmm." Her face softened just a little. "Fine. But remember that I warned you."
01x02
For what would otherwise be a perfect day for the gloom that rain brings, it was beautifully sunny with only a handful of clouds.
Rei wished it was raining. She always liked the rain. It felt like the earth was cleansing itself. She liked to feel clean. Her hands felt empty without an umbrella to hold on to. She only had herself to grasp. It wasn't enough.
There were only four pallbearers instead of the usual six; smaller than normal coffins don't need so many.
It is indeed quite the solemn day for Nerv. The regular civilian loss of life was unavoidable; that amount was but a statistic, mere collateral damage. That day, however, they lost one of their own whom they shouldn't have.
Shinji and Asuka were seated next to her, her fellow pilots. He was supposed to be one of them; she never felt so alone. She heard a man droning at the podium, but she couldn't pay attention to the words. She needed something else to focus on other than this loss. She looked again at the two teens beside her. Shinji looked stiff as a board. He was sitting and looking straight but Rei could tell it wasn't for paying attention to the speech. Asuka looked bored out of her mind. Her arms and legs were crossed and she was slouching and staring off to the side. These two were her friends. She could not lose them, too. Never again. She'd lay her own life down first if that's what it took. Shinji especially. He already did so much for her that she might never be able to repay. He saved her from being consumed during the battle with Leliel. Were it not for his insubordinate intervention, there's no telling what would have happened to her.
"I would be dead and replaced," she whispered. Would her soul have been free or would it have fused with the angel?
Shinji snapped out of his trance. "Eh? What was that?"
Rei's face showed short surprise before she repressed the expression. "Nothing."
Shinji raised an eyebrow at her before going back to his thousand-yard stare.
Rei was solidified in her resolution. She is replaceable, but Shinji Ikari is not. She fears what might happen because she does not really remember the last time she was replaced, only that she was. But she's here now. It could not have been that bad.
01x02
"You got that, Third?"
"Yes, and I'm sorry I asked."
"Don't apologise you idiot. That's not what I want out of you."
"Sorry!"
"What did I just say!"
"Ugh. What am I supposed to say?"
"I don't know. Something like 'thanks Asuka for telling me this.' Something like that. I don't do this for just anyone, you know!"
Only the sound of the HVAC could be heard for a solid ten seconds.
"Thank you Asuka."
"That's better. Now was that so hard?"
"I guess not."
The recorder playback was clicked off.
"Hm. Nothing I didn't already know but interesting nonetheless," said Ritsuko.
Ritsuko was sitting in her office listening to a recording of two 14-year-olds having a heartful, if heated conversation. Any other person might feel weird about doing such a thing, but Ritsuko was not one for qualms. Her research was progressing steadily. Since the interaction the pilots had had with the twelfth angel, she figured they might have to worry about the angels trying to connect with a human again. She wondered what implications it would have. The mutated form of Unit 04 wasn't exactly an idyllic human form. It looked more akin to something out of an old monster flick. If it was the angels intention to merge with humanity, she didn't think it would go well.
She pinched the bridge of her nose. Her head was hurting in that spot, probably from scouring over the data she'd collected over and over again. She felt like she almost had an answer to psychological defense. She hoped she wouldn't figure it out too late.
01x02
Everything was quiet on the bridge for over a week. Various comm channels buzzed with the standard reporting chatter. Multiple screens with sweeping lines reported the same recognised contacts. The routine scans for encroaching enemies continued. Misato watched her subordinates work. She didn't have to issue a single command in times like this.
The initial shock of loss was over, it was business as usual. They still haven't returned to the same level of joviality, though.
Of course, this was when a new contact appeared, of course.
"Unknown contact at heading 307," called out Lt. Ibuki.
"Main screen," said Misato.
The central screen of the bridge was occupied by the sweeping readout of radar station 11. The signature started out very small, almost like a stealth fighter, but it quickly grew to be larger than even the largest bombers or transports in the air force. On top of that, it was pulsing.
"Do we have a visual?" said Misato.
A keyboard clacked as the lieutenant entered some commands. Within moments, the bridge had a view of their newest enemy. It looked like a weird Japanese version of a voodoo doll with no arms or legs. Its face looked like the skull of a sort of bird twisted in a horrified expression.
"Do we have a blood pattern analysis?"
"Magi just confirmed, definitively blue ma'am. It's another angel."
Misato went over to the intercom station.
"All stations, high alert. Evacuate the city and convert to fortress mode." She stopped to address the bridge. "Status of the Evas?"
"All three units are being prepared for launch. Pilots are inbound. ETA 11.7 minutes."
"That's way too specific. And fast."
"It's what I was relayed, ma'am. Do you want it faster?"
"Negative, lieutenant. That speed is nominal."
01x02
Rei, Shinji, and Asuka, in that order, were seated in the back of the Section Two sedan. They were all hurried out of school right before lunch as the alarms blared. It was quiet as usual. Rei was hardly a conversationalist. Shinji and Asuka, on the other hand, had a tense week. Shinji couldn't believe Asuka was able to actually tell him about her past. It wasn't everything, of course, and she wasn't exactly kind about the way she conveyed it to him. Nonetheless, she still poured part of her soul out for him. What did he do in return? Retreat, of course. It seemed like all he was able to do. He felt like he caused enough strife even asking about why she went nuts. He knew he didn't have the social skills to eloquently approach her nor give her any meaningful comfort. Therefore, it was best to just leave her alone. He looked right to see Asuka, who was looking out the window, elbow on the doorframe and chin on hand.
It was clear his choice wasn't the most ideal, as Asuka seemed to be waiting for him to move. She spent the entire week being in his vicinity but never initiated anything before he did. He felt paralysed. He had no clue how to approach her and so opted to never approach at all. And now with another angel attacking, there's a chance he might lose that opportunity forever. He wanted that chance to take a shot at approaching her. He needed her to stay alive. He remembered the other passenger and looked to his left.
Rei. Her position actually mirrored Asuka's. Shinji was never sure about how to feel about Rei. He thought he liked her, but he wasn't sure what kind of 'like' it was. He needed her help, nonetheless. He needed to ensure their survival. He didn't really know how he would accomplish that, but he knew he needed to do something. Anything.
The trip to the Geofront was over in a flash, they already arrived. Before long the pilots were in their suits, imminently boarding their entry plugs. Shinji looked upon the purple plating, and with a clenched fist, resolved himself.
"No more deaths."