By Sassafras Lei

Spot starts dodging everyone he's not talking Sassy's going off the wall she has to find out what's wrong with him and soon. Within it she might learn that some things are just better off left unsaid altogether.

Spot looked down the half deserted road, looking for his girlfriend; he hadn't seen her in almost two days. It had been almost a month since there had been any big happenings in there life's that was alright though. Something was bound to happen they lived in Brooklyn, something always went wrong in the city when they least expected it.

He throw a cigarette butt to the ground and looked back down the road, was he seeing things? There Sassy was back from where ever, and she looked happier then ever, where had she been? Spot sat on the curb and watched as she bid good byes to a few of the guys, and started walking towards him.

Sassy stopped in front of him looking down, it was good to be back in Brooklyn territory, anywhere else just wasn't the same now. She smiled dropping to her knees in front of Spot, Sassy looked at him wondering if he was alright or not; he didn't look alright not at all.

"So where ya been fer da last two days doll?" he asked looking at her.

"He'ah, an' dere, no where you ain't been, so what's been goin' on fer da last few days, miss anything good?" Sassy asked sitting beside him.

"No, nuthin' much same things as always," he said putting his arm around her.

"Heya Spot are ya awright? Ya don't look like yer to wit' it, right now." She looked wondering if he was really okay.

"Yah I's fine, jus' thinkin' 'bout a few different things." He said standing up beside her.

Sassy nodded knowing better, she could tell there was something wrong more than he was trying to let show. As long he would be okay within a few days she didn't care, any longer than a few days, she would know something was really wrong. How could she not know something was on his mind, that look he was trying so hard to hide said something was wrong; even if she was the only one who saw it.

"Hello Sass…are ya comin' or what?" he asked looking down at him.

"Oh yah, where are wese goin' again?" Sassy asked standing up.

"To da lodgin' house, unless deres somethin' ya gotta do before we go back." She shook her head.

"Nope, no drug deals to settle today…but I's think Tuesday I's might have one ta get in on." She said smiling.

"I'm glad ya can be so sarcastic 'bout drugs an' illegal shit, dat makes me feel really a lot betta." Said Spot walking by her side.

"Who said I's was bein' sarcastic… jus' kiddin' Spot. Its jus' da way I am, I's can be sarcastic 'bout anything yous know dat." She said still smiling.

"Even Sex?" he asked.

"Yah, even sex." Sassy said raising an eyebrow.

"I's glad ya think so much of yer self Sass…what would I do wit' out a girlfriend like you around?" Spot asked himself.

"Well Spot ya wouldn't know yer place in da relation dats fer sure." She said smiling.

"Ya know what I's think yer wrong, I's think I's got more control den yous do over it…" he said taking her hand.

"Wow ya know what I's didn't even think 'bout it but tomorrow's da first of June, me friends birthday's comin' up, an' its been almost a year since wese met." Sassy said looking up at him.

"June huh? Nevah cared much fer dat month, an' yer right wese met in July last year," Spot said quietly.

"Why, Spot what's wrong wit' June?" she asked seeing something in his eyes change.

"Nuthin' everything is fine, I's jus' neva really liked June dats all," he lied through his teeth.

Sassy nodded her head, she had just got back home from seeing friends and she didn't feel like arguing with him. Although something in his eyes was driving her crazy, she knew something was wrong although she didn't know what yet. She took hold of his hand and could feel the tension, she needed to know what was really wrong.

The first week of June things got difficult, Spot was becoming very dodgy of everyone, and was hardly talking. Sassy didn't know what to do, she wanted to be there for him, but she was finding that hard a very hard task to do. Every time she had tried the past week to find anything out, Spot had some way to push her even father away.

Sassy was concerned about him and didn't know what she could do all the Brooklyn newsies said he would be fine, but she didn't see how. Spot would be fine they reassured her time after time, but she just didn't know how he could be. By the end of the week Spot had stopped talking all together, it would be okay Sassy told herself more than once that night.

Two weeks into June the thought of Spot not talking was driving her absolutely crazy, why hadn't he said anything to her for two weeks now? She didn't know she couldn't take it; someone in the city had to know why he was acting this way. That night she sat in the common room playing a game of poker with some of the guys, trying hard to concentrate on the game.

Spot walked in quietly not drawing any attention to himself, Sassy looked up to see him and shook her head. She didn't understand how he could just not talk to anyone, looking down at her cards she folded and got up walking out the door. Sassy headed towards Manhattan where Racetrack and Tootsie were living; maybe Race would know something.

Even Racetrack couldn't get Spot to tell him what was wrong, he sort of just started blowing a lot of people off. As summer came into play Spot got more edgy about everything, he pretty much stopped talking to everyone even Sassy. The more Sassy tired to help him, and find out what was wrong the more depressed he seemed to get with the time. She couldn't take it any more he was driving her crazy, she had to talk to some one.

Sassy stuck to the shadows of the city as she made her way towards Manhattan the less people to know she was there the better. The city was pretty dead which wasn't something that usually happened, she walked up to the lodging house door and stopped in front of it.

It was a Thursday night they would be up practicing for the big poker game tomorrow night, just like they were in Brooklyn. She walked up the stairs past some of the guys sitting around the room talking among themselves.

Racetrack meet Sassy at the door to the boys room as she was starting to walk in, she looked up curiously. Race looked back at her the same way, curiosity written across his face as well as they headed back down the stairs together.

"Why are ya he'ah Sass?" he asked as they walked out the door.

"I's cant stand it, two weeks Race two weeks, I's so worried 'bout him an' yet nothin' I's can do to help him." she said looking at him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sassy what are yous talkin' 'bout yous lost me, now tell me what yer talkin' 'bout." He said sitting down on the steps with her.

"Spot, he ain't said a word ta me or ta any one else fer da last two weeks since June began, I's so worried 'bout him, I's don't know what ta do anymore…Why is he actin' like dis, do ya know Racetrack?" Sassy asked looking at him.

"I's still don't know he does dis every year dough right around this time, I's wish I's could tell ya why but I's really ain't to sure ta tell ya da truth, I's sorry." He said laying a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm gonna figure it out Race, I's gonna find what's been buggin' da hell outta of him." she said getting up.

"Look all I's could even start ta tell ya is its got somethin' ta do wit' somethin' dat happened right around now maybe five years ago…dats all he's eva' told me 'bout it." He said turning to her.

"Well at least dats a start," Sassy said shaking her head.

"Wish ya luck girl, I's will see ya tomorrow for da big game, me an' Tootsie are gonna head up ta Brooklyn." Race said as she started to walk off.

"Right…luck somethin' dat doesn't seem to like me to much right now," she said to herself.

Sassy walked back through the city heading back towards Brooklyn slower than she had come before. Things couldn't get much worse now Spot was really driving her off the deep end she was about to lose it. What was it, what was so bad that drove Spot into isolation, she had to know, and she had to know soon.

By the time Sassy got back to Brooklyn it had to be well past mid night, she didn't care she could go on two hours of sleep if she had to. The lodging house was dead by the time she finally decide to go; for a while she just sat out side thinking to herself. She did her best not to wake anyone up as she throw her top shirt on her bed and walked back out of the girls room.

Morning was nothing for Sassy simply because she hadn't slept any that night, no instead she sat and watched Spot sleep. She waited she knew that with the morning light Spot would start to wake, she watched as the sun started to creep through his window. Spot turned over and started to rub his eyes as the sun rays fell along his face lighting it up in a way Sassy hadn't seen for a long time.

Spot sat up and saw his girl friend sitting across the room from him, he looked back to the floor and got up. Sassy shook her head she couldn't believe it, she was sitting right in front of him and he still didn't say a damned word to her.

"So are ya gonna talk ta me or what Spot?" she asked raising her eyebrows then dropping them at him.

"Damn it," she said as he ignored her.

He shook his head a little and pulled on a pair of black pants, he didn't expect to wake up and find her watching over him. Sassy stood up and leaned against the closed door, he wasn't going anywhere until he had said something to her, anything at all. Spot brought his eyes up to where she was standing hand crossed over her cheast, he couldn't help it some things he just had to keep to himself.

"Its been two weeks almost three now, yous ain't said a damn thing ta me in at least half a month! Its killin' me yer gonna have ta say somethin' to me before ya leave ta day Spot, I'm not gonna keep goin' on like dis." She told him laying it on the line with him.

Spot watched her and with a sigh his shoulders heaved up and down, she could tell it was killing him almost as much as it was her. He walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders lightly, this was the worst thing he had done to her. Spot stepped up to her and kissed her for the first time in almost three weeks, and she melted she forgot how much she had missed that touch.

Some how in the moment of it all he had managed to turn her around so know he was in front of the door. He looked at her and almost smiled but didn't he opened the door; he mouthed to Sassy that he loved her and walked out.

"Damn…what jus' happened?" Sassy asked herself as he walked out.

Sassy looked at the wall as she sipped on a scotch it was Friday and the big game would be starting anytime now. Sassy turned around when she heard some one start playing the piano in the corner, with a sweet sad melodies coming from it. Tootsie walked in the bar slowly doubting Sassy was going to be there, looking around she was surprised to see her.

Tootsie was relived when she saw Sassy sitting at the bar, that meant she didn't have to search for her anymore. She slowly walked over to where she was sitting and made herself quit comfortable there. Sassy finally looked up from her drink when she heard Tootsie order a drink from the guy behind the counter.

"Dis is da last place I's thought ta look fer ya at but I's should of known betta," Tootsie said.

"Yah, well what can I's say guilty as charged fer dat one…so where's Race at now?" She answered.

"Would it surprise ya if I's told ya he was off lookin' fer Spot instead of playin' in da game?" Sassy shook her head.

"Naw not really…it really ain't worth it dough Spot ain't talkin' ta no one," she said finishing off her drink.

"So I's take it dat he still ain't talkin' ta ya huh?" asked Tootsie getting up.

"I's jus' fuckin' told ya he ain't talkin' ta no one." Sassy said walking out the door.

"I's sorry I's jus' tryin' ta help ya he'ah Sass." Tootsie said following her.

"Yah I's know, I's jus' really ain't da one ta talk ta right now." She said heading towards the lodging house.

"Awright dats totally understandable, I's know what yer talkin' 'bout." She said.

Racetrack made his way past the Brooklyn lodging house and more towards the upper side of the city. He wasn't interlay sure were he was going to find Spot but he figured there was a good chance he might be in his old apartment.

Race found the door to the condemned apartment part way open as he made his way closer. He made his way through out the inter apartment and found Spot in the very last room, sitting on the window sill. Racetrack stood in the doorframe shaking his head for some reason he was really hoping Spot wasn't here, but to late he was.

"Some how I figured yous was gonna be he'ah…afta all da time yous still come he'ah." Race said.

Spot turned around and looked at Racetrack, Race actually new all about what was going on with him.

"Ya cain't keep doin' dis ya gotta let it go dats da only ta not feel so bad 'bout it jus' release yer mind…dis has gone on long enough Spot. Yer about two inches away from losin' Sass completely…ya gotta let her know 'bout dis, she deserves ta afta all." Race said sitting against the wall.

"I's cain't jus' ferget it an' let it go it was my fault…I's cain't tell Sassy she wouldn't unda stand it." Spot said.

"Yous love her I's bet you any thing she'll unda stand it, 'cause if yous don't talk ta her an' tell her yer gonna lose her fer good…ya almost did once. Who knows she could even be yer key ta gettin' rid of all dis shit yous been hang onto fer da last few years." Race said shaking his head.

"Look I's know yer right okay, but deres jus' somethin' keepin' me from talkin' ta her, I's don't wanna hurt her again." Spot said walking out of the room.

"Yous gotta believe me when I's say dat dis is hurtin' her more den it would if yous would jus' tell her da damn truth its high time ya finally did!" he said following him.

"Do ya think I's don't know dat awready…I's jus' cain't do it!" he yelled back.

"Look Spot I's ain't given yous a choice any more if yous don't tell Sassy an' tell her now I's gonna beat yous inta da ground," Racetrack said putting it on the line.

"Fine! I's will do it awright now get off it will ya," said Spot still heading towards the Lodging house.

Spot and Racetrack made there way back to the lodging house, Race had been the only one to get him to talk. He knew that Spot still wasn't going to talk to any one else at the lodging house but at least he'd be talking with his girl again.

They walked into the lodging house slowly Racetrack and Spot both saw Tootsie sitting in a chair leaning on the back legs feet on the table looking at the ceiling. The two guys made there way towards her with out her even noticing it, surprising her in the process of it all.

"So Tootsie where's Sassy at did ya find her?" Race asked looking at her.

All she did was point at the ceiling, that's all Spot needed he figured she would probably be on the roof either way. Spot headed towards the upper rooms so he could make his way to the roof and finally talk to her.

"So I guess he's gonna talk ta her finally huh?" she asked after he ran up the stairs.

"Yah I's really hope so anyways." Racetrack said kissing her upside down.

Sassy had been sitting on the roof thinking about everything since she had gotten back with Tootsie. Sassy heard the footsteps coming up the ladder, she didn't have to turn to see who it was she already knew who it was. She didn't want to know why he was coming up, it didn't matter she knew he wasn't going to talk to her, she was starting to get use to it. The footsteps stopped behind her and she knew he was watching over her quietly.

"If yer not gonna talk ta me den don't even fuckin' botha wit' it Spot." She said.

She felt Spots body against the back of hers as he sat down behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Sassy almost chocked Spot hadn't touched her or said anything to her and now he finally was.

"I's love ya…an' know I's gotta tell ya what's been goin' on." He said turning her around.

"And I's love yous an' always will." Sassy said and kissed him.

"Now explain," she said getting more serious.

"Well in June a few years ago my younga sista was killed an' I's always felt dat it was my fault, I loved her so much an' I's went out ta get somethin' an' came home ta her dead, an' I's neva forgiven me self fer not bein' dere fer her…so I's guess I's been goin' inta denial every June since it happened, but dis is da last year I'm gonna let it get da betta of me…cause I's saw what it did ta ya and I's nevah wanna see ya in dat much distress again." Spot said watching her quietly.

"Yous know dats terrible but I's he'ah fer ya I's wish yous would of told me ta start wit' all I's wanna do is help yous out when ya need it da most…I's would neva let somethin' like dis change my love fer ya." Sassy told him and kissed him again.

"I's was jus' neva sure what yous would think if I's would of told ya, I's was almost convinced dat yous weren't gonna unda stand an' yous was gonna leave me again…Race actually got me ta see how wrong I's was dough." He said arm over her shoulder.

"Spot yous should of known dat I's would of unda stood, an' even if I's didn't I's wouldn't leave ya I neva could I's love ya to much fer dat." Sassy said putting a hand on his shoulder.

Spot wrapped his arms around her again and buried his face in her hair, he was really glad that she actually meant what she was saying. Sassy didn't mind that Spot was all over her right now she totally understood what he was going through. As far as she was concerned he could stay the way he was all night; just to feel him in her arms again was a wonderful thing.

Sassy pulled back from him and took his hand pulling him towards the fire escape so they could head back in. He wasn't sure what was going to happen but he wasn't objecting at this point because he didn't really care. Sassy just wanted to go to sleep; she could of left him on the roof but she didn't know if that was a very good idea right now.

She swung herself in Spots window and sat on the bed against the wall waiting for Spot to come in. He jumped through and made his way over to his wonderful girl friend, he slowly sat in front of her as he pulled off his button up shirt. Sassy closed her eyes as Spot leaned back on her head on her cheast. She smiled with out him seeing any sign of it at all, she took off his hat and through it towards the couch.

This was all she had been needing for the last month just to feel him against her skin again made her happy. She sat there playing with his hair as he fell asleep she figured he probably needed it, with everything going on he probably hadn't got much sleep. That's how they both fell asleep that night Sassy sitting against the wall on the bed with Spot laying against her again.