Chapter 9 – The Initial Forward

Mr. Sakano had made all the preparation for his band. Hit Stage was one of much most popular music show in Japan. It was a privilege to be performed live on this show. The Bad Luck band was very excited, especially Shuichi who had always dreamed to perform live and to be broadcasted nationwide to share his music and song to everyone who would enjoy them. This was the one of the goals that all the members agreed on and perhaps the most important one of all; to share the music that they created to the world. It didn't matter if they were the number one or number one hundred; as long as they could express their feelings through their music then they were happy.

The Nittle Gasper was also performing on Hit Stage today. The band was schedule to go before the Bad Luck Band. Ryuichi was dressed in his tight slack and white blouse. He looked as handsome and sexy as ever. He came into the recording room and greeted Shuichi, "Sparkling Shuichi, how are you?"

"I'm so excited, I can't wait!" Shuichi replied smiling.

"Me too! Me too! I want to sing with you again on stage, but Touma said I can't. Bad Touma! No good, Touma!" Ryuichi cried.

"Why don't we make that up by singing Karaoke?" Shuichi suggested.

"Really? I love to sing Karaoke with you."

"Yeah, no matter what rating we get for this performance, I'm throwing a pool party at Suguru's house tomorrow night!"

"What? I didn't know about this?" Suguru asked with a surprised tone in his voice.

"Well, you do now." Shuichi smirked.

"Okie! Okie! I'll be there, so count me in!" Ryuichi said happily.

"Okay, Nittle Gasper, you're up next." The studio technician informed the band to get ready.

Meanwhile the Nittle Gasper band performed, the Bad Luck band had a friendly discussion about Shuichi's fake happiness.

"Shuichi, are you really okay with all of this?" Hiro asked.

"What do you mean?" Shuichi as stupid as ever questioned his friend.

"We know that you're not really all that happy like you put up with." Suguru explained.

"We know that it's been very painful for you to grief about Eiri Yuki and we could tell that you're still in love with him. I have the feeling that you wrote 'Open Your Heart' just for him." Hiro responded.

"Shuichi, I'm confused. What about Yumi? What if Yumi was the person that you first met, then would the outcome be different? I could tell that she likes you. There is a chance that she may be the person that was portrayed in your dream." Suguru asked.

"Yumi is beautiful in all ways, but I don't have any feelings for her. She is more like a little sister than a lover. Every time when I looked at her, she only reminds me of him. Maybe it's like you said, since I met Yuki first, I'd fallen for the first person that I'd met. If I had met her first, then maybe I could also build up strong feelings for her. Still, I strongly believe that I would fall in love with Yuki, whether he was the first or second person that I met. Somehow, somewhere deep inside of me knows that he is the person for me and not her. Yumi's resemblance is cunning, but… Yuki is only one that I love." Shuichi paused a moment, "I want to sing for him today."

The Technical was now ready for Bad Luck and their performance was dazzling. Everyone loved the song especially Ryuichi who was rooting, "Yaaa-hoo! Bad Luck! Sparkling Shuichi! You sparkle!"

After the performance everyone came back to NG. There Yumi greeted them at the door to congratulate them. Nittle Gasper was of course one number and Bad Luck performance for the first time put them in rank seven, which was very amazing. It was a long day and everyone was excited and exhausted at the same time. Shuichi talked away about the pool party and everyone was invited to come and enjoy Suguru's hospitality.

"Can I invite Tatsuha?" Yumi asked. "He'll love a party with all his favorite idols." She added.

"Of course, the more the merrier." Shuichi replied as he said his goodnights and left the conference room. "I'll see you all tomorrow!" Before he reached the front doors, they opened up and guess who was standing in front of him? Shuichi's eyes were wide opened as he stared at the man before him, "Yuki, it's you."

'Shuichi.' Yuki thought as he stared at the younger boy. He didn't expect to run into the boy at this hour.

Shuichi stepped forward, tears started to run from his eyes and he had no control over them. He was both happy and scared at the same time. Has his pray been answered? Was Yuki here to see him? He couldn't help, but hope.

Yuki was still staring at him, 'Those terrifying eyes, the same as always. Why do they look so frightened? Didn't he say that he loved me or is it that he hates me? Those eyes, those purple eyes, I want to…' He couldn't resist but to reach out his hand and wiped the tears from Shuichi's eyes. He stood there holding onto Shuichi's face as he pulled the younger boy closer and embraced him in a deep kiss. He had been thinking about the last kiss that he had with Shuichi for so long. Now that he wanted to know why; why was it that he couldn't forget? He slid his tongue in deeper and deeper; the feeling was too fulfilling to let go, at this moment he had forgotten everything. He squeezed Shuichi tighter and kept on exploring the boy's lips, tasting every inches and corner of his mouth. The feeling was so familiar; it felt like he had kissed him before, even before the time at Ruido. Suddenly, Shuichi pulled back to gasp for air, he panted heavily as more tears ran down his face. Yuki also pulled back and thought to himself, 'Why? Why did he pull back? Didn't he like it?'

"Yuki! Yuki, it is you?" Yumi came from the conference room and into lobby to greet her older cousin.

Yuki stared at her and then he looked at Shuichi, "So, you've found a replacement?" His voice was cold and harsh. He didn't even greet his younger cousin.

"No!" Shuichi managed. "I couldn't, she's just a friend." He looked into Yuki's golden eyes hoping that he would understand. Shuichi had always had faith that someday Yuki will return his feelings.

"What are you talking about?" Yumi as sweet and innocent as she always was; she didn't understand the complexity of Shuichi' and Yuki's conversation. She stood there looking from Shuichi to Yuki and then from Yuki to Shuichi. They treated her as though she wasn't even there.

"Yuki please…, I love you. I've always have and I'll always will."

Yumi was shocked; she couldn't believe what she had just heard, 'so that was what he meant by 'exactly the same.'' She understood now and tried to looked away feeling a bit lost and depressed.

Shuichi was scared, 'Please god, don't let him go again.' After a kiss like that, he was sure more than ever that he wanted to be with the man before him. "Yuki, I need you."

"I have to go." He remembered the reason why he came to NG.

"Where?"

"See Touma."

"Why?" The thought of Yuki and Touma together suddenly dropped Shuichi to the floor. He couldn't help but think ill of them. Why was he thinking like that? But somewhere in his guts, he could feel that there were some connection between Yuki and Touma. He looked up to Yuki hopelessly and said, "Please, I need you here… Don't go. Don't leave me." His eyes looked more frightening than ever.

The sight of Shuichi's eyes made Yuki felt uneasy. It made him wanted to find the brother-in-law even more. "No, I have to go." He said coldly as he rolled his eyes to his identical cousin, "You have Yumi now." And he walked away.

"But I want you…" Shuichi spoke to the floor. "Why do you do this to me?" He screamed after the man what was leaving him behind and then he whimpered, "…every time."