Chapter 28.

When he first woke up he was confused. For a second he didn't know where he was, but then he recognized Harvey's bedroom. Oh god, he was in Harvey's bed. For a moment he just started up into the ceiling in shock, trying to grasp the fact. He blinked then and turned his head towards Harvey's side of the bed. It was empty, but it seemed like Harvey recently had gotten up. A look at the clock on the nightstand told him that it was late morning. He had actually slept the whole night for a change. He had been truly exhausted when he fell asleep last night so it wasn't that strange he guessed.

He had actually gone to Harvey last night. He had gone to him for help and had received it. He had felt comforted by Harvey. He had felt better. It was just what he had wanted last night, what he had needed, and Harvey understood.

It felt like he only had been asleep for a few hours even though he had slept the entire night, without nightmares. He was just so tired. His chest was kind of hurting too, but if he just stayed still it didn't bother him that much.

He didn't have the energy to get up and see where Harvey was. He was probably in the kitchen. He would be back soon. Mike was sure of it.

Harvey had probably been a bit freaked out by his behavior last night. He had been crying his eyes out for god sakes. But he was too tired to care. Even breathing felt tiring, like his chest had to work hard just to rise up and down. Hopefully it wasn't anything to worry about. He decided to wait here until something happened.

– SUITS –

Mike was still peacefully asleep next to him when Harvey woke up. A couple of times during the night Harvey had woken up and found himself turning on the light just to check on the kid. Every time had been the same. He had turned off his phone last night before he fell asleep, so that the alarm or potential calls wouldn't wake Mike up. That's why it was already nine thirty when he woke up. After reassuring himself that Mike was in fact okay, he got up.

Donna was very worried when he called her, she told him she had called four times already, two times to Mike's phone as well. Later when he checked his email he saw one from her as well.

He told her about what happened last night and she congratulated him on doing what was right, as she phrased it. She also promised to rearrange a few meetings and let Louis know that he wasn't coming in. Then he made breakfast.

Mike was awake when he went to check on him. He was blinking slowly up at the ceiling.

"Hi kid." Mike turned his head slowly against him and blinked some more. "Hi." He said.

"How are you doing?" Harvey asked and stepped into the room and took a seat on his bed. Mike gave him a tired smile.

"Better than last night" he said honestly. "I'm tired." He added.

Harvey nodded. He really wanted to talk to the kid.

"And how do you feel about last night?" He asked, watching how Mike started to blush. He expected Mike to tell him that he was embarrassed, but he didn't.

"You helped me." He said, and Harvey didn't really know what to answer to that. "That's good." He said.

"Mike, listen. I want to you to come to me when you are upset like that, okay. I will always help you then."

"But I feel stupid. " There it was, just what he had been waiting for.

"You don't have to care about that. You feeling stupid is pretty low on the priority list if you are feeling sad like you did last night."

Mike just stared at him, and Harvey wasn't sure that he had made himself understood.

"What I wanted to say was that it is okay if you come to me when you feel sad, or depressed, or upset. I want you to come. I want to help." These were words that Harvey truly never had said to anyone else ever before, and meant them like he did now.

He was reworded with yet another tired smile from Mike. "Thank you." He said. "That means alot Harvey."

Harvey smiled back.

"It is hard during the nights sometimes. I get to thinking about things, and it makes me upset…or sad." Mike continued. Harvey nodded, he just had one more question that he really wanted the answer to.

"Why haven't you been coming to me before Mike? You were so upset yesterday, kid. If that has happened before, and you only came to be first last night… What was different this time?"

Mike got quiet for a long time before he spoke.

"I just couldn't take it anymore last night." he said, avoiding looking at Harvey. "I just wanted you to help me last night. I needed help. And you said before that I could come to you."

"Exactly. Why didn't you before?"

"Harvey…"

"No, Mike. I want to know."

"Oh so what?" Mike sounded annoyed now. "You want me to come to you every single night then, huh? Because then I would, because I feel like crap every damn night. I just got sick of it yesterday, I couldn't do it anymore."

"Yes I do." Harvey stood up. "I don't want you to fucking wait until you can't take it anymore, if you need to come every single night, you do!"

Mike shockingly looked up at him. Harvey realized that he had stood up, and sat down again.

"Whatever it is that's keeping you from asking for my help, just…just forget it. It's not important. What's important is how you feel. I don't want you to feel like that, like you did yesterday. Not if I can prevent it. Not if I can help in some way, in any way."

Mike just looked at him with a shocked expression, his mouth gaping. Harvey rolled his eyes. "Yes, this is me talking. Don't look like that."

"Okay…"

"Mike."

"I'm just so shocked, I'm having trouble taking this in. Maybe I have a brain tumor as well now. Am I hallucinating this?"

Harvey couldn't help but smirk a bit. "Very funny." He said. "I'm serious though, Mike."

Mike's expression changed from amused to serious. "I know." He said. "Thank you so much, Harvey."

"You don't have to thank me, Mike."

"I really appreciate it though. I don't know what I would do…" he stopped and looked away again.

"I know." Harvey countered. "I don't even want to think about where you would be." He laughed a bit and saw that Mike was smiling as well. This was a really good talk, Harvey decided.

"You want to talk more feelings or are you going to sleep some more?" He asked.

"I'll think I'll sleep some more."

"Good choice. I'll be just outside." Mike nodded and closed his eyes.

Harvey sat down by the table, and felt quite proud of himself. He had really gotten Mike to open up just now. At least a little bit. One step at the time, he reminded himself.

Mike came out into the livingroom two hours later. His hair messy and with glassy eyes in his flushed face.

"You have a fever, don't you?" Harvey asked when he slumped down on the couch. Mike rolled his eyes. "Yeah I guess I do."

"Go and take your meds then, and I will help you with the dressings."

"Come on, I just woke up."

"And?"

Mike couldn't really come up with a good comeback, so he just did what he was told. Harvey didn't really want to do the bandages, because Mike seemed to be in a pretty good mood.

"You know how much this hurts?" He groaned ten minutes later when he was stretched out on the couch in front of Harvey with his shirt open. He was gripping a blanket in his fist just to hold on to something.

"Yeah, you keep telling me."

"It's like you are peeling my skin off."

"Yeah, sorry." Harvey muttered.

"No, I know you have to do it. I would do it myself, I probably can…"

"I don't mind Mike."

"Okay. Oww..."

"Sorry. This one is kind of stuck. I'm going to pull, okay?"

Unfortunately the process left Mike close to tears yet again. Harvey helped him sit up after he was done, and watched how Mike was biting his lip and breathing hard. He put a hand on Mike shoulder and kept it there until his breathing evened out.

"Thanks." Mike whispered and managed a smile. "That sucked."

"It did."

"Watch a movie?" Mike asked hopefully. And Harvey agreed, work could wait.

They spent the day like that. Harvey got them something to eat and they did in front of the TV. Mike of course, refused to eat much, but Harvey let him off the hook since he had a fever. Mike also threatened with throwing everything back up, on the couch. He did not want that!

Mike slept after that. Harvey got a lot of work done. He spent almost an hour out on the balcony on the phone with different people. Mike amazingly slept for about four hours before he stirred. He claimed that he felt better and Harvey believed the thermometer that told them the same thing.

It got a bit awkward when it was time for them to go to bed. Harvey helped Mike with chaning the bandages, this time with the TV on as a distraction. It worked somewhat okay. After that Harvey figured that he should approach the subject of Mike getting upset at night, but didn't really know how but eventually just asked him straight out.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

Mike immediately blushed and looked away. "Harvey…" he groaned.

"What? What is it now?"

"Oh come on."

"Yeah, you want me to or not?"

"It's fine." He added when Mike didn't answer. "Until you fall asleep maybe? I don't want you to be upset Mike."

"Okay, fine." Mike said then. He still wouldn't look at Harvey when he was in bed and Harvey was standing there in the room a bit unsure of what to do. It wasn't like he had done this before, and he suspected Mike was just as uncomfortable as he was.

"Oh, don't just stand there. I'll never fall asleep if you do. That's kind of creepy." Harvey rolled his eyes.

"What would you like me to do then?"

"Just go and work or something." Mike waved against the desk.

"I don't want to work all the time." Harvey muttered, but went to the desk anyway. Some files were already there. They weren't exactly that relevant, but he guessed it couldn't hurt looking through them. He did for about five minutes before he got sick of it.

"You know, this is just weird, and you ordering me to work like that. I don't know if I appreciate that." He turned around to face Mike only to discover that the kid was already dead to the world. Mike had fallen asleep straight away. Well, that was easy.

At the same time he couldn't help but feeling a bit sad. It had been so easy, just a couple of minutes of his time, but instead Mike hadn't said anything to him, and spent hours trying to fall asleep by himself. He watched the kid sleep for a moment. He really looked like a kid, or the bed was too big. He acted like a kid as well, not that he could help it, and Harvey didn't blame him. He called Mike kid a lot these days, it just felt right. And not that he would admit it to anyone, but Mike kind of was his kid now. After all Harvey was the person Mike turned to now when he needed help, or felt sad as yesterday. And Harvey looked out for him, fed him, comforted him and now apparently he sat with him until he fell asleep. He would have never imagine himself doing stuff like this to someone else, at least not his own employee. Weird how things can turn out.

– SUITS –

He got better during the next few days. They told him so at the hospital as well when he went there for another try at a treatment session. His values were much better than last time and he even got a hug from one of the nurses for doing such a great job as she said. He blushed a bit and hugged her back. Her name was Amanda and she was one of his favorite nurses. He had a lot of contact with her and she was there almost every time he came in. he had a lot of nurses, but Amanda was the one who scheduled his appointments and treatments, and also there to translate the medical talk from his doctors. She was pretty great actually. She made things easier, and what else do you want from a nurse? Mike didn't ask for much else.

Harvey let him come to work with him when the fever was gone. He felt pretty good about it and managed to do some good. Harvey even said so himself.

"I still have a brain." Mike muttered when Harvey seemed surprised that he had gotten through a lot more briefs then Harvey originally assigned to him.

His comment was rewarded with another bunch of files and he was told to put his head to use then. They stayed pretty late that day, and only left after Donna had threatened them. She wouldn't hear Mike's protest that he was doing fine. But Donna changed tactics and had walked over to Harvey and whispered something in his ear. Mike thought that he actually could see Harvey pale a bit as he listen to her. She walked away to her desk after that, and Harvey rose from his desk.

"Okay, let's go Mike."

"What did she tell you?" Mike asked after they had said good night to a pleased looking Donna and headed for the elevators.

"That's none of your concern." Was all he got out of Harvey.

The wounds on Mike's chest had also healed to some extent. He had gotten some sort of super cream that according to his nurse worked wonders. It actually kind of did. The dressing only had to be changed once a day now, and the wounds were smaller, so they used bigger dressings that covered a larger area of his chest. In that way the glue that made them stuck to him didn't need to be applied on as much damaged skin as before, making the process less painful.

He felt better in his mind as well, not sure of how else to express it. He wasn't dead tired either, it was only after chemo he felt like crap. Throwing up was never nice. He got to stay on the couch the most recent time. Harvey was there the whole time and helped him to drink some and take his pills. He kindly complained that Mike's retching noises made him miss parts of the dialogue of the movie that they were watching. Mike threw a pillow at him, but missed. Harvey just smirked and picked it up and put it back on the couch.

Mike got to come with Harvey to a client meeting the next day. It was at the firm so they didn't have to go anywhere, which was good. Harvey probably would have left him with Donna otherwise. Mike hadn't failed to notice that Harvey didn't really let him be alone much now, which was good. The meeting went good, he didn't fall asleep and could even add some things. He could see something on Harvey's face when he did, that he hadn't seen in a long time. It made him want to keep trying harder. He hated how the cancer made him act sometimes, and with that the way Harvey looked at him. That look also made him want to fight it harder. He didn't want it to defeat him. It was just hard to not let it affect him.

That night he was so exhausted he fell asleep at the dinner table while he waited for Harvey to finish cooking. He woke up when Harvey put the plate down in front of him.

"Did you have a nice nap?" Harvey asked as he started on his own food and Mike drowsily sat up straighter.

"Sure. You took too long. I got bored."

Harvey just rolled his eyes. "Eat your food."

It was Friday and Harvey had three meetings that day, and he thought that Mike should work from home that day. Mike reluctantly agreed and then Harvey told him what to do. He was to answer his phone every time Harvey called, he had to take all his meds, he had to rest, and he wasn't to leave in the apartment.

"Seriously, Harvey! I'm not a ten year old, I'll be fine, go to your meetings."

"Yeah, I agree you are more like an eight year old."

"Haha. Very funny."

"Donna will step by with lunch."

"That's not necessary. I can cook something for myself."

"Okay, you can call and tell her that yourself."

"I guess it would be nice with some company."

"Yep. Call if you there is something."

"Okay…"

After Harvey had left Mike found that Harvey hadn't left him any work to do. He suspected it was on purpose, and got that confirmed when he called Harvey and told him that, and all Harvey said was that he had forgotten. He just watched some TV until Donna came with lunch.

The next day Harvey had another meeting, even though it was the weekend, so Mike was left by himself again. He didn't mind that much actually. He didn't feel alone or anything this time, which was good. He didn't want to deal with that.

Harvey had been gone for about two hours when he started to feel bored. He didn't want to watch TV or read, and it wasn't much else to do. He almost felt kind of normal, and it would be nice to head out some. It was ages ago since he had done something else then just sitting on Harvey couch, or laying in his bed or spending time at the hospital. Maybe he could head out some, if he just took it easy it would be fine.

He decided it probably was a good idea to call Harvey and let him know of his plans. However Harvey didn't think it was a good idea at all.

"No way, you are staying home. There is nothing to discuss Mike." He said and proceeded with practically declare him an idiot for even thinking of it. Harvey hung up before he had a change to argue back and tell him he felt fine.

He couldn't believe Harvey. He actually wouldn't let him do anything when he thought about it. It was not like he was going to drop dead just because he went out by himself for an hour or so. He did it all the time anyway and Harvey was fine with that. Sure it was when he went to and from the hospital but this wasn't that big of a difference. It wasn't like he was going to go for a work-out or anything. It was just that it was really nice weather outside for a change and he thought it would be nice to just go to the park for a bit, maybe do some shopping. Buy some food would be nice. Harvey practically did everything in the house so Mike thought that buy some groceries was the least he could do.

He decided to do just that. If he did it now, Harvey wouldn't notice anyway. Except he would notice that they had food in the fridge, and he probably would be pissed then, but then Mike would just tell him that he was worrying for nothing because nothing had happened.

It was kind of strange to walk outside just for the sake of it. He hadn't done that in forever. Which was almost sad. He went for a little walk around the block, thinking that the fresh air would do him some good. After that he went to a store close by and ended up buying quite a lot. The bag was pretty heavy, and he noticed that he wasn't use to carry heavy things. He was getting a bit out of breath, and his arm was aching, so he had to switch to the other quite often. His breathing didn't improve, and he was getting kind of nervous now. It was probably a ten minute walk back to Harvey's. Now he was starting to think that maybe he wouldn't be able to make it that far with the bag and everything. He kind of wanted to sit down, but there wasn't a bench or anything in sight.

Damn it, Harvey was going to be so smug now because he was right, this hadn't been a good idea. He was panting now, and it was getting harder to breath. Shit, what should he do? Should he just leave the bag? Or maybe he could take it slower?

Should he call Harvey? He would be so pissed, and it would be so embarrassing. No, he could do it.

No, he couldn't. He had only walked for like two minutes and he was really panting, and was feeling dizzy. He knew he was in trouble. He was having trouble focusing now, everything was starting to get blurry. People were passing him on the street and he accidentally bumped into a woman, who just swore at him and told him to watch it. Shit! What should he do? He dropped the bag of groceries and felt around for his phone in his pocket. The screen was all blurry. He needed to sit down. Now!

He did, right there on the ground, with the city buzzing around him. He felt small and scared. He shouldn't have walked out. He needed help. He wasn't sure if he had said it out loud because suddenly someone was touching his shoulder asking him something. He couldn't focus and he passed out with the feeling of someone grabbing his shoulders and screaming.

He woke up in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask on. He was told that everything was fine, and the world faded to black again.

He came to a bit more after some time. He had no idea how long. He had a nasal cannula and IV, he was also connected to a heart monitor, which wasn't really a surprise. He was alone in a hospital room. He felt pretty okay now. His breathing was back to normal.

The next thing he knew a nurse walked into his room and told him that he had been picked up from the side of the street after another pedestrian had called an ambulance for him. How embarrassing. He asked about Harvey and she didn't know anything about him. Before he had time to do anything about that, a doctor came by and he got a small lecture about lifting heavy things and walking long distances. Mike thought that he already knew that that had been a bad idea, but was told so about three times more anyway. He was told that he didn't need to stay the night unless his condition declined within the next hour or so. Otherwise he would be able to go home again when his body had composed itself enough. If Harvey would have him that was, he was going to be so pissed.

His phone was on his nightstand and when he picked it up he swore a little. He had eleven missed calls from Harvey and four texts. He immediately felt guilty for making the older man worry. He hadn't really been fair to Harvey. He knew he was just trying to look out for him. But it just got a bit much, but this was a pretty cruel punishment for Harvey. He dialed his boss' number.

Harvey picked up after the first signal. "Mike?" he breathed.

"Yeah. Hi Harvey."

"Are you okay? Where the hell are you? Do you have any idea of how many times I have called you?"

"Eh.. yeah. Eleven. Sorry Harvey, I didn't mean to disappear on you like that."

"Where the hell are you?" Harvey repeated. "I swear if you are at some bar or something…"

"I'm not even allowed to drink! No, I'm at the hospital."

"Shit! I told you to not leave the apartment! What happened?"

"Eh…Well, I was on my way back there when I kind of got a bit dizzy and stuff."

"You passed out didn't you?"

"Eh…a little."

"A little!"

Harvey huffed angrily on the other end, and Mike couldn't blame him. "God you are so stupid Mike. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I didn't exactly plan this Harvey."

"You just left the apartment without telling me, after I told you not to."

"I wrote a note!"

"Oh, you mean this?" He heard Harvey grabbing a paper in the background. "I'm going out for a bit, that's all you wrote! You know, when the cancer won't kill you, I will!"

Harvey was clearly very pissed off at the moment. He didn't know he would worry so much.

"I had my phone…"

"Yeah, which you didn't answer!"

"Sorry." Mike said and waited. He really had screwed up. He had been pretty stupid actually. He waited and listen for what Harvey was going to do next.

"Yeah, you better be." He said then. He sighed and Mike kept waiting.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Harvey. I'm okay."

"I'm coming. Stay there and don't move."

"Okay. Sorry again. I just didn't think that anything would happen."

"Yeah, we'll talk later. Donna is coming too, she has some other well-chosen words for you."

"Shit."

Harvey laughed and hang up.

– SUITS –

That damn idiot. How could he be so stupid? What had he been thinking? Harvey just wanted to strangle him. Now he would have to chain Mike to his bed or something every time he needed to leave him alone at the condo.

At first when he got home to discover that Mike wasn't there he had been angry at first, but then when he called the kid and he didn't pick up he immediately got worried. Why wouldn't he pick up? Where was he? Had something happened? What should he do?

He had called Donna who told him to go out and look, while she headed over to help him. He went out to look for the kid but had no idea where to look. He kept calling Mike and texted him, but he received no answer. He couldn't help but imagine different scenarios in his head. What if Mike's heart had given out or something? What if he passed out right when he was crossing the street? What if he…

No, he had to stop. He had to keep looking. Maybe the kid had decided he wanted to go and see a movie or something and had to turn off the sound of his phone, or maybe he had just accidently done that anyway. Or he could have… This wasn't really helping. Donna was worried as well, but kept saying that they would find him any minute.

When Mike called they were still out looking for him. Two hours had passed. Harvey got so mad a first when he could hear on the kid's voice that he was fine. But he was at the hospital and he got worried again.

Thankfully Mike looked fine when they stepped into his room. Fine and embarrassed. Harvey let Donna speak to him first and after her words he added some of his own. Mike had the decency to just agree with them. He didn't even try to defend himself that much.

"Have you any idea of what could have happened! You have fucking heart cancer. Your damn heart could have stopped Mike. Did you think of that?"

"No…"

"Well, you could have died! What if you had been on some street ally all alone, or what if nobody had cared enough to call an ambulance?"

Mike just stared down in his lap and took it. Harvey didn't care, he needed to get this out. He needed Mike to get it!

"What were you even doing?"

"I just went to buy some food. The bag was a bit heavy…"

"You bought food, why the hell did you do that? We have food."

"I just wanted to contribute some, sorry for that." Mike pouted.

"I don't fucking care. You don't…"

"Harvey!" Donna interrupted him, and he paused. Mike had wanted to contribute. Fine, maybe he was done now.

"Yeah, okay. That's fine Mike. But don't do it on expense of your health."

"I have said I'm sorry. It's not like I will do it again. I get that it was stupid, okay." Mike looked a bit too upset by now. Harvey let Donna step in.

"We were so worried Mike." She said quietly. "We had no idea of what had happened to you, or where you were."

"Yeah, I know. I'm so sorry." He looked close to tears now, and Harvey didn't want it to go any further.

"Well, it's in the past. You won't do it again."

"No, Harvey. I won't."

"Let's just forget about it then."

They did, and Harvey took Mike home a couple of hours later. Donna came with them and spent the rest of the weekend with them. In the condo.

Mike seemed to be relatively fine after his little adventure, he hadn't done that much damage after all. His body just hadn't been able to handle the stress of walking and carrying the heavy bag. Mike had grumbled a bit about the lost food he had bought, and wondered what happened to it. Harvey didn't care.

Monday came and it was going to be a busy week for Harvey. His case with Louis was close to come to an end and he was going to have to spend a lot of time with it. With a little luck they were going to be able to close the case by the end of the week. This also meant that Donna would be busier than usual as well, because Harvey was going to need her help. Harvey felt a bit bad because it would mean that Mike had to be more by himself. Monday was no problem. Mike told him that it was okay, when he left earlier than Harvey to head home.

Harvey felt even guiltier when the case dragged out so much that Mike was asleep when he got home. He had called Mike when he realized that, but Mike assured him that it was fine. Harvey didn't really believe him. But he looked fine when he checked on him that night.

"Harvey?" Mike was standing in his doorway to his office. He and Donna had just been out to lunch and Mike looked tired, and also a bit sad. Harvey sighed inwards and asked him what he wanted. Mike came in and sat down in front of him.

"I know you are busy and all, but I was just wondering a thing."

"What were you wondering Mike?"

"If you maybe could come with me to the treatment session today?"

Harvey looked at his watch, he had a meeting in two hours and he needed to be there. If he went with Mike he would miss it, and also he just couldn't leave the kid by himself afterwards. If Mike went by himself Harvey could go to the meeting and then get some work done and be home before the worst hit the kid.

"I already asked Donna and she said she couldn't, so if you are not too busy. I don't feel like going alone."

"Mike, I'm sorry I just can't. I will be home earlier than yesterday though."

Mike looked disappointed, but not too much.

"Look, why don't you ask someone else." Harvey suggested, even though he knew Mike had used all his options.

"Yeah, like who?" Mike asked with and annoyed voice, realizing the same thing.

"Rachel maybe?"

"I haven't even told her I have cancer yet. I think she would wonder some if I brought her there."

"You could tell her there. Like make her guess what's going on." Harvey smirked.

"Oh come on, that's cruel. She will kill me." He groaned.

"Don't you think it's time to tell her though?"

"Yeah, maybe…" Mike looked out the window. "You think I should?"

"Yes. I do. She is your friend right?"

"Yeah…"

"So, do it."

"What if she doesn't want to come?"

"You think she won't?"

"I don't know."

"Go and find out."

Mike nodded slowly and stood up. "Yes, okay. I'll do it. Can you come and check on me though, in like twenty minutes, just in case she did strangle me."

"Sure. Good luck." Harvey smiled to himself and turned back to his work, glancing at his watch again.

– SUITS –

He stopped just of out sight from Rachel's office. He needed to have some sort of plan on what to say to her. He was prepared for her to be angry. He was pretty sure he would be if the roles were reversed and she had waited this long with telling him something like this. He figured he just had to be honest with her and apologies and hope that she would understand.

He knocked politely on her door before stepping into her office. She looked up and smiled a bit towards him.

"Hi Mike." She said.

"Hi Rachel. How are you? Do you have a minute?" Or really he wondered if she had a couple of hours, but it was too early to ask that now. She sighed a bit and looked at him.

"Honestly Mike, if you are here because you have something that you need my help with I don't really have time right now."

"Eh, no it's nothing like that."

"But you want my help, right? That's why you are here?"

"Yeah, kind of but I wanted to talk to you about something."

"I don't really have time Mike."

He knew that she was annoyed with him. He had practically ignored her for some time now, but he had after all had other things to think about. He had to try again.

"It's not about work Rachel. It's about what has been going on with me."

She met his eyes now and turned her attention away from the papers in front of her.

"Yeah, and what is that then? What has been going on with you? I knew there was something you weren't telling me."

"There is." He said honestly. It really was. He thought about how to continue.

"What is it then?" She repeated.

"I'm sick." He said. She had a neutral expression and just waited. "I had been feeling like crap for a while, so I went to see a doctor. They did a bunch of test and it turned out to be pretty bad, Rachel."

"Okay…I don't think I like where this is going." She said faintly and he noticed that her hands took hold of her desk. Mike smiled a bit.

"No. I…I have been diagnosed with…with cancer."

She drew a deep breath and let the air out again. "Cancer?" She whispered looking worried. "You have cancer?"

"Yeah, in my heart."

"In your heart?" He saw then that her eyes were starting to shine, but she didn't let the tears fall. "Oh Mike. I don't know what to say. Heart cancer?"

He nodded and just let her take it in.

"Oh my god. That's not good is it? That's really bad right?" Another nod from Mike.

"That's why you have been acting weird, and that's why you have barely spoken to me, oh and that's why you were sleeping on Harvey's couch. Right?" She looked at him with an alarmed expression.

"Yes. That's why. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just…I really don't have a good reason I guess. I I just didn't want to…you know…"

"No, Mike it's fine. And I'm sorry for the way I acted against you. I didn't know."

"I don't know what you are talking about. I'm just sorry for practically ignoring you the last few weeks."

"You had a good reason. Oh god…" She held a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry Mike." She said again. "How are you doing? You are getting treated right?"

He answered her question about the treatment and told her what he was doing and kind of how it went.

"But how are you feeling then?" She asked after she had asked a few more questions about the treatment.

"I'm doing as well as I can I guess." He answered.

She nodded. She still looked like she was going to burst into tears any minute, and Mike couldn't help but feel a bit touched by it. She was this upset because of him. She was that worried about him, but that feeling soon turned into guilt again and when he saw her struggle. He couldn't ask her to come with him now. He just couldn't.

But he didn't want to go alone, and she was his last hope. He felt that damn hole in his chest start to grow again. He felt like crying himself at the thought of spending the afternoon alone there.

Rachel suddenly came around her desk and was standing next to him. She put a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Is it something I can do, Mike?" She quietly asked, and when he looked up at her, she looked like normal, only a bit sad maybe. How had she done that? He wanted to be able to do that as well. Just shove it down, all the bad thoughts and feelings, but now a days he just couldn't. Like there wasn't any room inside him for that anymore.

He shrugged.

"You said that you wanted my help. I want to help Mike."

"No, there is nothing. You said you were busy, I was just going to see if you weren't." he had to look away. Damn it! He did not want to show his true weak and pathetic self in front of Rachel. This had been a bad idea.

"There are things that are more important." Rachel said then.

"Yeah?"

"Of course. What is it Mike?"

"I was just going to ask if you could come with me to the hospital for a while. But if you are busy it's fine. I can go alone."

"Of course I can come. I can do that. It's okay Mike." Her hand stroke his shoulder a bit as he felt relief flood through him. She would come!

"Really?" he smiled up at her. "Thank you Rachel."

"Of course Mike. When are we going?"

"Half an hour?"

"Okay. I'm just going to finish up real quick here then and I'll come by Harvey's office?"

"Okay. Thanks!"

It was with easy steps he made his way back to Harvey's office. This went much better than he thought it would. Harvey looked up when he stepped in the man's office without knocking.

"Oh you are still alive."

"Yep."

"How did she take it?"

"Pretty well. Better than you."

"Oh shut up. I handled it excellently."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Rachel came exactly half an hour later, and stood in the doorway as he got up from the couch, smiling at her. He noticed how she nodded against Harvey, but Harvey was leaning over his computer when he looked at him. They left after that. Harvey had called Ray for them.

Mike studied Rachel when he thought she wasn't looking. She looked rather pale, and were her eyes a bit red?

"Rachel," he said. "Look, I know it's a lot and I just sprung this on you."

"Yeah, you kind of did."

"Sorry." He smirked. "I really appreciate it though, you coming with me."

"Of course I am coming with you Mike. You are my friend. I want to help you in every way I can."

"That means a lot." He said, and really meant it.

– SUITS –

Thank you very much for all the reviews and for reading this story. This chapter was a bit slow I think, but now at least Rachel knows too. I don't think I will have her so much in the story after. I also think that I will have Mike become a bit worse after this. Speed it up a bit maybe. I'll see. I haven't planned the next chapter yet. Any ideas?