Chapter Six

I managed to get over my grudge against Roger and his drugs after a little while. I wasn't pleased with him, and I certainly hadn't accepted it, but Roger was my best friend, and I couldn't just stop talking to him. The fact that we shared a room also made it kind of hard.

And he did apologize. When he wasn't high. He came to me and he said he was sorry, but he couldn't stop. Well, I forgave him, but I wasn't happy. I never told him how much I had looked up to him, or how much he had hurt me. I didn't need to. I think he understood.

About a month after that whole incident, Benny announced to us all his engagement to Alison Grey. He was going to be moving out of the loft, and living at Alison's father's estate in Westport where he would take on the family trade and become a landlord. No one offered him any great congratulations.

Collins was preparing to move in at the campus at MIT. It was August then, and the school year would be starting soon.

Maureen and I were still together, technically. We weren't actually in each other's presence very often though, and when we were it was usually briefly...and usually involving more guys than just me. Maureen had always been a flirt, but it was starting to get a little out of hand. When I brought it up to her she just laughed and told me I was being paranoid, and proceeded to kiss me until I forgot I was even angry. That was how Maureen dealt with things.

April kind of moved in once Benny left. She would sleep at the loft every night, and she and Roger would go shoot up every afternoon, and spend the rest of the day doing God-knows-what. I spent my time writing more and more stupid scripts and forcing Collins to read them for me.

When Collins left in September, I was alone a lot. Maureen would read for me when she was around, but otherwise, I was just writing more.

And then came the day.

It was November 28th 1988, about 6:00 in the evening. I remember it perfectly.

I was just coming back from a day of filming. It was the first snowfall of the year, and I had captured it all. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to edit the clips together with my movie.

I came up the stairs, and immediately I knew something was wrong. The door to the loft was left open, and I could hear what sounded like sobs coming from inside. Without a second thought, I dropped my camera and ran into the loft.

"Roger? Collins? Maureen?"I called. The sobbing was coming from the bathroom.

I ran over to the bathroom door...and froze.

What I saw will forever be burned into my mind. I will never set foot into that bathroom again without picturing April's blood-covered body laying in the bathtub, her wrists completely slashed. Blood was everywhere, and a knife lay beside the tub, shining in the light.

Roger knelt beside the tub, crumpled into a ball, sobbing hysterically. His hands were covered in blood. He had obviously tried to save her.

Beside Roger was a small piece of paper. From where I was standing, I could see it had three words in April's writing. Those three words read: We've got AIDS.

My jaw was wide open, my eyes even wider. I could feel my heart pounding, my blood racing, my breath speeding up. Ohgodohgodohgod.

I turned out of the bathroom, breathing heavily and shaking furiously as I fell to my knees. April was dead. Blood everywhere. AIDS. Ohgodohgodohgod.

I remember throwing up. All over our rug, too. Everything was a horrifying, messy blur. I managed to stumbled to the phone and dial 9-1-1, and get out some flustered, stuttering version of what had happened. Roger remained in the bathroom, sobbing.

I finally walked back in, and immediately felt the need to throw up again. But I held it back, making my way over to Roger. I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder...

He leapt at the contact, whirling around. His eyes were extremely bloodshot, his face contorted into misery. He looked down at his blood-covered hands, then up at me again, and tears streamed from his eyes.

Without even considering that I was kneeling in a puddle of AIDS-infected blood, I knelt beside my best friend, and pulled him in towards me, hugging him close as he sobbed.

"My April...my beautiful April, Mark!"Roger sobbed into my shoulder. I hushed him, not able to offer any actual words.

The EMT came about fifteen minutes later, and immediately demanded that Roger and I leave the bathroom. I had to force Roger to leave April's side, and he absolutely flipped out when he saw them carrying the body bag out the door.

"NO! NO! DON'T LET THEM TAKE HER, MARK! DON'T LET THEM TAKE HER!"he hollered, struggling to break free of my grasp. Finally he collapsed, falling to his knees and sobbing again, as I proceeded to attempt comfort him.

It took a while to calm Roger. I don't know exactly how long. It felt like days. It was probably a couple of hours. Then the police came to ask questions. I refused to let them speak to Roger, and answered everything for them, Roger sitting beside me the whole time.

His face was tear-stained and completely deadpan. He looked exhausted and pale and miserable. He had not washed his blood-covered hands. He sat beside me silently the whole night, staring ahead blankly, tears flowing from his red eyes.

I must have looked a mess myself. I was shaking still, hours later, and had not changed out of my blood-stained pants.

The police took my word for things, as all the evidence pointed to it as well, and they left us alone.

Maureen and Benny arrived shortly after the police. I had called them before the police even arrived, as well as Collins, but I got no answer at MIT. They helped me clean the bathroom and the rug, and I finally changed my clothes. Collins called back later that night to tell me he was on his way back immediately.

We all sat together in the dark and silence. Maureen was crying. Benny refused to make eye contact, and kept staring over at the bathroom nervously. I sat beside Roger, who hadn't moved or spoken since April's body had been taken away.

At about 4:00 in the morning, Collins arrived. He told Maureen and Benny to go home and rest, because it would be a long week. Roger accepted a hug from Collins, almost breaking down again in his embrace. Collins and I stayed with Roger for the rest of the night, falling asleep on the couch. Roger didn't sleep.

The next morning I woke up at 6:30 to see Roger sitting beside me, tears streaming down his cheeks. I sat up, rubbing my eyes and stretching a little. Roger suddenly turned to me.

"Mark...I want to stop,"he said softly. It took me a minute to register what he had said. Then I understood.

"You mean...the drugs?"I asked. He nodded.

"I need to stop, Mark. Please...help me stop!"he whispered frantically. I hushed him, placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Roger, I will do everything I can to help you stop,"I assured him. Roger nodded, and broke down again.

"Hold me,"he cried softly. I did, wrapping my arms around him comfortingly.

"We're gonna get through this, Roger,"I whispered. "I'm going to help you."

"Don't leave me, Mark. Please don't leave,"Roger pleaded.

"Never. I'll be right by your side through everything,"I replied. Roger hugged my arm tightly as he buried his face into my sweater.

And that marked the start of Roger's withdrawal.

A/N: So there it is. No more April, and more drama. I'm putting all the withdrawal stuff into one chapter though, so it won't drag on. I know that stuff can get pretty intense.

To answer a question I got, this story is only going up to December 24th, 1989. So right to the beginning of RENT. No Mimi, though she's mentioned in the following chapters as 'the girl who lives downstairs'.

Thanks for all your feedback and comments. Two chapters left!