Here is the first one shot request for the HTTYD Drabbles from DoomsdayBeamXD , of how Hiccup felt after the fan fic story 'A Fight for The Heir' when he was forced to hurt his father, and his friends. This is an angst genre so be prepared. Enjoy ;)

Why?

Why was he making me do this to them? They're innocent! Out of all the things I could have done, I just had to hurt them...What's wrong with me!? I could have fought back that time, not let him get control of me the second he get the prophecy into action! I know what they would say 'Don't worry about, we forgive you' but why am I not convinced... I did so much harm to them, why would they forgive me like this?

Hiccup was still in bed recovering from his injuries since Gothi told him and his father that he should stay in bed for five weeks. Now that meant no sneaking out, walking, and flying...That annoyed Toothless until Astrid volunteered to fly him until Hiccup recovered, if Toothless didn't decide to make crazy routines like the last time she flew on him for the first time. With a sigh, Hiccup sunk deeper on his bed, still couldn't erase those thoughts of guilt. Sure he new that the magic and sorcery was out of him the second Toothless broke that emerald and when they defeated his grandfather, but still... He still didn't feel like celebrating like everyone else, he just couldn't get rid of those hunting moments of nearly killing everyone he knew and loved.

"Now Hiccup. ATTACK THEM!"

At first Hiccup did a little hesitation before actually becoming very aggressive that he growled and flew up to the sky and began to shot very strong plasma blasts that no one had time to think, but thankfully got out of the way.

Without warning, he roared a sonic boom, like a thunder drum, but that was impossible but he did. "Hahaha, fools. Just because an actual nightfury has a shot limit of six, doesn't mean Hiccup here has a limit," Magness explained once the rider fell from the boom. "He also has the abilities of every dragon you know today, that's how strong he is. But there's more than just being a dragon for Hiccup's destiny."

Hiccup was flying at the same spot, as he waited for his next commands and to see if the dragons and riders were getting up to continue to fight.

Magness smiled and signaled Hiccup to land in front of the group, slowly approaching them and stopped when Magness signaled him to. "Now Hiccup, TRANSFORMATION!"

Everyone looked at Hiccup and saw a black glow of clouds surround him again, but in a flash, there stood the human form of Hiccup, but he still had the nightfury tail and wings, but his clothing was all gray and black, as for eyes, they were the same as an actual dragon, green, but dragon formed. "Now Hiccup, get rid of them once and for all!"

"HICCUP!" The sound of his father's voice brought Hiccup back into reality as he saw his father approach his bed with some broth. "Thought you might be hungry, after all, you are just recovering." He then helped his son eat the broth up until Toothless and Astrid came in, well the nightfury was jumping around while Astrid sat down on the chair with her hair in a mess as if she just ran into bushes after a crazy flight. "How Hiccup?" "How on Earth do you manage to fly on Toothless?" Toothless chirped a laughter while Astrid sunk to the chair, exhausted as she gave the dragon her death glare. Hiccup forced out a chuckle, just so no one will notice his true feelings, it'll just led to constant convincing that he knows that aren't true.

"Hey Hiccup, how are you feeling, the others were getting worried for a bit?"

"Oh I'm fine Astrid, just a bit beat and shaken but otherwise I'm good. Never been better."

"Okay, better hurry and recover soon, the others are already complaining about the challenges I'm giving them. I mean really they're not hard." Hiccup really chuckled at her comment as he remarked," You have no idea Astrid." Astrid then got up, kissed him on the cheek, not even noticing Stoick who was smirking at the sight, and she went down to get home waving," Get well soon Hiccup."

Hiccup waved back with a forced out smile, pretty much still half in mind of his eailer thoughts. I even hurt Astrid and yet she didn't hold a grudge or at least afraid of me... Oh gods why do I always get into situations like this?!

"I have to go now, the Jorgensons want me to help rebuild their fence. After we just blown it down, they want it back, how ridiculous does that sound?" Stoick ruffled Hiccup's hair before heading down stairs, smiling at his son before heading out the door and once he was out, Hiccup let out a long sigh. "Why are they doing this?" "After all I did to them..." But that was when he recalled the Red Death battle, when he woke up from the coma and how everyone was so eager to make up for their mistakes and return the favor for his courageous acts. Is that it, is that why they are doing this? Just because they needed to return the huge favor I did? That can't be, but why wouldn't they, after giving them such a scare that day of the battle... That was when his flashbacks of being the monster he was turned into returned in a flash as he grabbed his hair, pulling some to calm himself down.

"Now Hiccup, get rid of them once and for all!" and in an instant Hiccup raised his hand and narrowed his eyes, then a sudden earthquake began to form as winds began to blow very stronger than four thunderdrums, even the red death itself. They would have been killed, but instead they have been surrounded by some sort of shield and were pushed into a cave, and were caved in as rocks fell. Magness smiled, believing that Hiccup had killed them, but still wasn't a bit convinced. Hiccup was the one who made the shield and faked their deaths, without letting Magness know.

In Berk that same day after that...

Everyone began to panic as they ran off to get their weapons. Magness landed and jumped off of the nightfury and announced, "Good day Berk, looks like I'm going to be your chief again, but first.."

He glanced at the nightfury, and then looked back at the villagers. " How about a little reunion with your Hiccup..." Looking at the nightfury, he then commanded," TRANSFORMATION!"

Everyone looked at the glow, and then in a flash, they were completely shocked and were backing away from the figure. Hiccup was in his demon form, attacking from everywhere. Burning houses, crashing the plaza, and scaring everyone as they ran all over the place. He used his claws to shatter barrels into pieces, even catapults. He paid no attention to the cries of the children, which pained him deep inside.

"Alright Hiccup, I have to go to the south island, you on the other hand will stay here until every villager is killed, then you meet up with me," Magness then made several hand movements and disappeared in a flash.

The warriors were unarmed and tired, since they had been trying to stop the destruction of the village. Everyone else were wearing worried and scared looks on their faces, the women, the children, every villager were in fear.

Hiccup looked at the scared villagers, he looked calm and terrifying with those green dragon eyes. He raised his hand, causing some of the children to panic a bit. Hiccup held his hand up still, while his eyes were shaking as his breathing was at a slow pace.

He then sighed and his hand went down. "I-I-I can't do this, I just can't... I'll transport you all into the caves at Thor's beach, you'll be safe there," Hiccup looked at his hand,

"But I have to be quick, before the evil side of me comes back," Hiccup then concentrated his mind and hands, soon he transported everyone away from the village. "Stay safe, this is the only time I spare you."

He then disappeared and was gone to where ever Magness was.

He didn't notice how tight his fists were getting as he laid in bed, or how everything seemed eerie quiet to him. Hiccup then sat up, despite his pain in the wounds. "I can't stay here... I'm a danger to them. Every villian we come across, they're always after me..." Hiccup didn't notice Toothless loking at his rider with worry and concern. "Why me... Do the gods hate me that much that to have me torture everyone I love and care about?" "AM I REALLY A MONSTER!?"

Toothless then lifted his head up, getting closer to his rider's bed until he noticed Hiccup struggling to get out of bed! "I-I have to go... But if I go... They'll get even more tortured inside... But if I stay it'll be the same... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?" He dropped some of his notebooks from his desk, his hands grabbing his hair tightly . "I'm going mad... Am I, or is this just a symptom of grandpa's curse..." No matter how much he tried, the more he began to question himself, the more he remembered the fear in his friends eyes, in his father's eyes, when they saw him getting ready to kill them. "I even was close to killing my own father... How cold hearted was I?" Toothless, seeing how much pain Hiccup was in, decided to run out to find someone nearby to come and help his friend from hurting himself.

Right there was Hiccup, in nightfury from, struggling to get up from all the cuts and bruises he had, and his tail on has one tail fin, which greatly shocked the chief.

Hiccup must have heard Stoick approaching if his pupils got sharper and his growling became even more aggressive. Not another one, who is he. All well, this might his last choice of judgment.

He turned around, facing Stoick with his evil dragon eyes, and without a moment to hesitate, he bent down and pounced. Ready to attack and kill Stoick in sight.

"Get these memories off my head..." He growled under his breath, his breathing all of sudden got faster as if he was panicking. His body began to shake as small drops of sweat slowly began to fall from his head, he could hear his heart beating slow, loud, and steady. Then his head began to get even more crowded with the memories of himself being evil and betraying everyone he loved and cared about. His vision then began to seem fizzle as his breathes became heavier and faster. Now his body began to shake violently while even more memories of his harsh acts flooded in his mind, flashing and beginning to spin fast.

"Why..." Before he knew what was happening, his vision began to fade, he felt his body tumble and fall to the floor as he saw two figure rush towards him, all he heard was someone yelling his name, other then that, all he heard was nothing but his heart beating.

"He's been unconscious for a while, what happened Stoick?"

Stoick was sitting by his son's bed with Hiccup laying there breathing normally but unconscious. He and Toothless got in the house before he saw his son up but collasping to the ground. From the looks of the fallen notebooks and papers and how fast he was breathing, Hiccup was not feeling well. He had Toothless get Gobber while Goathi checked on Hiccup, after she left Gobber came in with Toothless.

"Panic attack, Goathi told me that he was getting frustrated and angry with himself about what happened when my father took control of him." "She says it's normal, that after all, after an event like that, there'll be several panic attacks but..." Stoick fell in silence as he looked down at his son, then he felt Gobber pat him on the back as he turned around.

"But now we need to help the lad get back on his feet. Let him know that the past is now behind us. But also we mist help him forgive himself, you know how stubborn Hiccup is when he blames himself." Stoick nodded, he just couldn't hold the fact that Hiccup was balming himself for what happened. "I have to go back to the forge, hope the lad wakes up soon, and remember. Let him know that all is forgiven." With another nod, Gobber was already out of the house, Stoick's head was turned around to see if Gobber decided to pop back in with an excuse or another reminder, but before he could react... He felt small arms wrap around him tightly as he felt small, warm tear drops fall on his neck and he then heard silent cries until he knew who was doing this.

" Please forgive me dad... I didn't mean to hurt any of you. I'M SO SORRY!" "I'm sorry, please don't hate me... Okay you can hate me, be afraid of me but... I-I'm so, so, so sorry dad!" "Banish me, kill me... Do whatever you guys want to do to menso you don't have to get killed if I ever become out of control, just please... Forgive me!" Hiccup, despite how much pain his body was in, was holding on to his father tightly, sobbing behind him as huge tears fell from his forest green eyes as he begged for his father's forgiveness. Stoick was silent, he couldn't believe what his son was actually saying. His own flesh in blood, begging for forgiveness and a punishment for someone's actions of controlling him.

"Please forgive me... I didn't mean to cause any of you pain, I'm sorry."

Stoick then looked at his sadden son, without any words, he embraced his son back, surprising Hiccup as he stopped sobbing but tears still fell. "Hiccup, we all forgive you son. We don't want to banish you or kill you. The one who truly hurt us all was Magness, we all forgive son.. All you need to do is forgive yourself son."

Hiccup was quiet for a moment, his eyes glistened to the sunlight that was inside the room. "I-I don't know if I can... But I-I-I'll try..." Stoick then looked down at his son," Remember son, it takes time. Right now it's okay, let it out. Let all your pain out, it's okay. I'm here for you." Hiccup sobbed against his father's chest for a ten minutes before drying up his tears.

"Feel better son?"

"Yeah, letting it out... It sure helped..." Hiccup rested his head on his father's head," Love you..." Before Stoick knew, Hiccup fell asleep, now more calmly then before, he decide to hold on to his sleeping son for the rest of the day, like how a mother would with her sleeping baby. "Rest my son... You already did all of us proud, and we all forgive you." Toothless looked happy at the touching scene, holding his dragon tears up (to protect his tough reputation). The father held on to son all day and night, never to let go of the treasure he and his wife shared.

Yeah dad, I now see why you guys forgive me... And now I found a way to forgive myself.

Okay this is the first one shot in the drabbles, hope you enjoyed and if you have any one shot or drabble requests, please feel free to ask. ;)