Chapter Seven

Going through withdrawal is hell, I'm sure. That agony of not being able to have something you crave so badly, and all the people that you thought were your friends keeping it from you. It must be absolute torture.

Helping someone through a withdrawal is ten times worse.

From December 1988 to June 1989 my entire life revolved around taking care of Roger Davis. Collins was there to help me when he could, but he had his career to look after. He was the only one bringing in any money now, and we depended on his job. So for six months Roger depended almost entirely upon me.

The week after April's death was one of the most horrible weeks of my life. Collins contacted her family, who didn't want a funeral. Roger was a mess as it was, so Benny put down a couple hundred dollars for a small headstone for her in the cemetery. Collins and I took Roger to visit it, and he completely broke down again.

I also had to take Roger in for his HIV test. We were all fairly sure he was positive, considering the note April had left, but Collins said he should get the test just in case. That gave Roger hope.

Six weeks later, I hated Collins and his logic with all my heart.

The beginning of Roger's withdrawal was absolute hell. For both of us. Roger was furious and violent. He would smash things, throw things, slam things. At times, when he was really angry, and I was forced to deny him a hit, he would even hit me. It hurt physically and emotionally to go through that first month. Collins was barely around for it too, because it was mid-term exam time, and he was busy testing and grading students. He came home during Christmas break though...

"Hey Mark. I got the key."Collins walked into the loft, tossing the key onto our table and dropping down a bag of groceries. I walked out of me and Roger's room, where Roger had just fallen asleep, and grinned when I saw Collins.

"Collins!"I cried, running over and hugging him. "It's good to see you."

"You too man,"Collins assured him. "How've you been? How's Roger?"I sighed.

"...difficult. Very difficult. He's sleeping now,"I replied. "He's angry as hell, Collins, and I hate having to be the bully. He gets so upset...it's horrible."That's when Collins noticed my black eye.

"Holy..."he gasped, turning my face so he could see it. "Oh no. He didn't..."I nodded.

"Yeah. He's been really violent lately too,"I mumbled quietly. Collins turned away, disgusted.

"Oh my God...how could I leave you like this?"he demanded suddenly, pounding his fist into the wall. "How could I leave you alone to do this all yourself!"

"Collins, it's not your fault. You need to work-"I began.

"Fuck work!"Collins bellowed. "Look at you, Mark! You're in danger here! You're in real, physical danger! And I left you alone!"He paced to the other side of the room, hand on his forehead. "That's it. I'm not going back. I'm not leaving you-"I immediately ran over to him.

"Tom Collins, listen to me when I say this: You are going back to fucking work. We can't afford for you not to work. We can't buy food and now AZT! Neither of us can work, you are all we have left, Collins! We are depending on you."Collins was taken aback at my sudden boldness.

"I...I..."He sighed. "Okay. I'll go back. But for now, I'm here to help."I nodded.

"Good."

It helped having Collins there for a few weeks. Then all Roger's fury wasn't directed toward me. Maureen came to help a few times, but she would scream back at Roger when he was upset, which only made things worse. She wasn't very much help at all really. I told her not to worry, I could handle things. She took the hint. I appreciated her effort though. Benny never came at all. He sent us some money. That's what Benny does.

After the first three months, things were still bad, but not as intense. There was no more throwing. No more physical attacks. Just lots and lots of yelling and accusations.

"FUCK YOU, MARK! YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!"Oh yeah, I got that one a lot. You don't understand, Mark. How would you know, Mark? You have no idea, Mark. Yeah, month four was a real emotional blast.

Maureen and I literally stopped seeing each other. She wouldn't come near Roger in his state...and I was always with Roger. I'm assuming that's around when she started seeing Joanne. I didn't even care at the time. Roger Davis was my main concern.

Month five was a lot of crying and moping and brooding. He would moan and complain about April, and heroine, and AIDS. I would try to talk to him, and he would shut me out. Then he would come back and cry and apologize.

Month five is when Benny made his grand reappearance. I hadn't seen him since December, and he hadn't bothered to call. So I was surprise when he arrive one sunny Tuesday in April.

"Ding dong."I was eating a bowl of Capt'n Crunch when I heard a voice at the door. I turned to see Benny standing there, smile on his face.

"Hey Benny!"I greeted, walking over and hugging him. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"You have good reason,"Benny commented. "How's Roger?"

"He's doing better,"I replied.

"Glad to hear that,"Benny said.

"How have you been? We never hear from you any more. How's Alison? And work?"I questioned.

"Well, that's actually why I'm here,"Benny said. "My father-in-law just bought several buildings and lotsin the area...including this one. Since I'm working for him, this makes me the official landlord."

"Oh...wow! Talk about turning the tables, huh?"I said, not sure yet whether I should be glad to hear this news, or worried.

"As a little bit of relief, I'm letting you guys off of rent for the year,"Benny said.

"Oh my God! Benny, thank you so much,"I exclaimed.

"You guys are golden for now. I know you've been going through a hard time, and there's a new girl who just moved in downstairs who I'll be focusing on rent-wise for a while,"Benny explained.

"Benny, this means a lot to us,"I told him. He nodded, smiling a little.

"Glad I could help,"he said. "Good luck, Mark. Let the others know I dropped by."

"Of course. Collins will be happy to hear from you,"I assured him. He grinned, and waved as he exited the loft.

From my futuristic point of view, I have one thing to say: What a fucker.

So I explained to Roger, Maureen and Collins about what Benny had said, and they were all shocked. Though I must say, it was a very welcomed surprise. Now we had extra money for food and Roger's AZT.

Month six of the withdrawal was by far the easiest. Roger stayed locked in his room most of the day, and refused to speak. Of course, me being me, I had to go prod and pry and try to get him to come out and talk to me. But all in all, things weren't so bad.

By June, Roger was out of his room. Though he refused to leave the house or play guitar, he would now eat and talk. He was returning to the old Roger. The sarcastic, funny, ranting Roger. And I couldn't have been happier. Six brutal months had finally paid off.

One night, shortly after the sixth and final month, Roger and I had stayed up together, talking and goofing off like old times, until we dozed off on the couch. I was half asleep when I heard Roger lean down to my ear, and whisper something that made all those six months worthwhile.

"Thank you."

A/N: So there's the end of the withdrawal, and our drama. Comedy returns in the next, and final, chapter! That will probably be up some time tomorrow morning, because my BFFL is coming over tomorrow to stay so I won't be able to update. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy the last two chapters!