CHAPTER EIGHT: The Fourth Tuesday, We Talk About Death

"Let's do something a little different this Tuesday," I suggested when I arrived at House's. I was trying to force myself to be happy, because nothing else worked so far.

He was surprised at my enthusiasm. "Tired of meatloaf and Sex and the City? Think me and you should get away for the week, leave the kids at Grandma's?"

After a pause, I offered, "Zoo?"

"Leave the kids at the zoo? You really aren't suited for this whole mother thing, are you?" House exclaimed. I sighed and waited for his 'real' response, which he gave me a few moments later. "Okay, so…zoo? Are you mad, Chase!"

"I just might be," I replied casually. "So, what do you say? Care to take a walk on the wild side?"

"I wouldn't call spending a day looking at animals throw fecal matter at each other a walk on the wild side. I saw it everyday when I went to work you and the others. But sure, I'll go," House answered.

I smiled. "Okay, then."
House tried to get up from his chair, but was having some difficulty. He looked in pain as he gripped his hand to the table and tried to rise from his seat. I immediately went over to him and helped him up, but he pushed me away harshly. "I'm fine!" He shouted as he pushed in his chair.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were having trouble," I said.

"I wasn't," House lied.

An awkward silence followed. Hadn't had one of those in a while. We walked out of his room together. I saw Trinity cleaning up the house. The sight confused me. She was his health care worker, not a maid! But knowing House, he'd use her for both.

Trinity saw us leaving and asked, "Hey, where are you guys off to?"

"Whorehouse," House replied matter-of-factly. Trinity's eyes widened. She looked at me for verification.

I shook my head. "No, we're going to the zoo."

"Nice cover-up, Chase," House said through his teeth.

"The zoo? Why?" Trinity asked, still unsure of what to think.

Before House could answer with a lie, I quickly said, "Just for a change of pace." She nodded.

As House and I walked out the door, he said quite loudly, "Zoo! I just don't know where you come up with 'em, Chasers. Do you have like a book of the 500 best alibis or something?"

I looked back at Trinity, trying to justify what House said, but she just smiled and waved it off, knowing what a kidder House was. I smiled back and walked out.

As soon as I closed the door, I asked House irritably, "Why did you tell Trinity that we were going to a whorehouse?"

"She didn't believe me, Chase. No harm done," House nonchalantly responded.

"Yeah, but…" I started, not wanting to let him off the hook.

House turned around at me with surprise. A small smile crept up on his face. "Why do you care so much, Chase? Is it because you like her?"

I looked away. "I like her. Why wouldn't I? She's nice."

"But do you like her like her?" House asked.

"What are you? Eight?"

"Well, I'll be nine in two months!" House cried.

I sighed. "Come on. Let's go." House and I got into my car and zoomed off. House immediately put in a CD of The Who.

"Happy Jack wasn't old, but he was a man…" House sang. And he sang for the entire drive. Luckily, the drive wasn't long, or I might've actually gone mad.

We arrived at the zoo and parked the car. Because his leg had gotten worse, it took House a while to get from the parking lot to the exhibits. I offered to help, but he once again told me he was fine.

Finally, we got in and headed straight for the monkeys, then the flamingoes, then the giraffes…By the time an hour went by, we had seen mostly everything. We headed for the tiger exhibit, which we hadn't seen yet.

With a bright red balloon in hand, I watched the tigers in awe. They were stunning. Orange and onyx dyes painted artistically on their large bodies.

"Wow, the tigers are really neat, huh?" I said to House, who had been quiet for a while.

"Let's talk about death," House said abruptly.

I turned my head towards him in surprise. "What?"
"Being at the zoo doesn't take away the fact that it is still Tuesday. And on Tuesdays we have philosophical conversations," House explained. "So…let's talk about death."

"Why death?" I asked.

House answered, "You know how when an aunt or uncle calls you up and tells you they are coming to visit? You haven't thought about them in a while, and suddenly they say they are gonna show up on your doorstep? How after you talk with them, you start thinking about them and how it's gonna be when they actually get to your house?"

I nodded.

"Well, death's coming, Chase. I can feel it more and more everyday," House said.

Like so many times before, I didn't know what to say to him. "House…I-I…"
"You don't have to feel sorry for me. That's not why I wanted to talk to you about death. I want to talk about it from an objective point of view."

"Okay. Well, it's hard to be objective about death, when we all know it's something you think about personally," I said.

House replied, "I know, but that's the challenge."

I thought about it for a moment and then offered, "Well, I guess we can think about it as if it's some abstract event that we are sure will never happen to us. And if that were the case, I guess I'd think that death really isn't all that scary. You just have to accept it, but not dwell on it."

"Hmmm…" House said as he pondered.

I thought House was thinking and focusing too much to listen, so I quietly mumbled, "Sometimes it actually seems like a better choice than life." I made two mistakes in that second. Number one: Saying what I said. Number two: Thinking House wouldn't hear me.

He did hear me. His inquisitive sapphire eyes looked over to me and he stared at me. Neither of us said anything, but he started to limp away.
"Let's go home, Chase," he said sadly. I followed him, head down, and unclasped my hand. My balloon flew off into the distance, and like a little boy, I wondered why I let it go. Why I couldn't have just held on a little longer.