Chapter 40. Heart operation

Mike had a hard time sleeping that night. It helped a lot that Harvey was there, but he still felt like crap. He had humiliated himself again in front of Harvey. He couldn't believe what he actually had said. He had expressed a wish that he had been harboring for some time now, that he wished that Harvey was his father. Ha hadn't wanted to say that, but at the moment when he did it felt relieving. Like something lifted of him a bit. And Harvey had responded amazingly. Just the way he wanted him too. He had answered so that the whole thing got less awkward which Mike was thankful for.

To think like that felt wrong now. It felt like he was betraying his own father. But Mike's father wasn't here! Harvey was, and that was why he had been thinking about all of this. Harvey acted a bit like a father would, and now he had said that it was okay for Mike to think of him in that way.

Mike tried his best not to feel embarrassed. He tried to rationalize his behavior. He had been upset, frustrated and on drugs. But it was also how he felt. He had spoken truthfully.

Mike knew Harvey was on his side. He could trust Harvey with everything now. He knew he could. Harvey was going to be there through everything else that he had in front of him. Harvey would be there to the end if it came to that. Mike was sure of it now. That felt so reassuring.

He had woken during the night and Harvey had been there every time. He spoke to him, asked how Mike was doing. Asked if he had had a nightmare. One time when Mike admitted that he had, Harvey put a hand on his arm and left it there until he fell asleep again.

Sometimes Mike felt like he was a child again. He really did, in more ways than one. For one it was his emotional state. He couldn't really control his feelings. One moment he felt like yelling and hitting at everyone and everything around him just like he the next moment regretted it and felt like crying.

He didn't feel happy about things anymore, and that was sad. He enjoyed certain things, sure, but the cancer always lured in the background preventing him to feel joyous for long. And now it had been decided that he was going to stay at the hospital until he had the surgery.

He was going to have heart surgery. He had a hard time taking it in. Harvey kept telling him that it would be fine and that this was a good thing. They would take more aggressive steps towards getting rid of the cancer. But Mike couldn't help to think about the fact that they were going to open him up. Cut his chest open and mess with his heart.

"They won't mess with your heart." Harvey argued with him when he expressed his thoughts about the operation. "They are going to operate and try to remove the cancer cells. Not mess with it."

But Mike could see on Harvey that he was worried. He saw him standing outside his room speaking to his doctors. Once they all suddenly looked over at Mike and Harvey had a look of devastation on his face that Mike hadn't seen on him before. That scared him more than the doctor's lectures about risks and complications. That look on Harvey's face that had appeared for just a second before he noticed that Mike had been looking at him. He had forced a smile then and nodded towards Mike, and hadn't said anything when he came back into the room.

That night Mike hadn't woken Harvey up when he startled awake from yet another nightmare. He had them almost every night now. Instead he had turned away from Harvey as much as he could and he had cried into his pillow. The fact that something about him had caused Harvey to look like that terrified him. He wasn't sure that he wanted to know what it was. He rarely asked questions about the illness he had. He didn't want specifics. He didn't need to know how low his chances were. He figured that nothing would get better from that.

Mike didn't know if he thought that he was going to die or not. He tried not to think about it, which led to him thinking about it all the time. He found himself thinking that, what if this is the last time I see this movie? Or what if this is the last time I have pickles. He just couldn't help it.

Mostly he felt okay during the days. He was tired and didn't have an appetite what so ever. Eating made him feel nauseous. More times than not he threw up after eating which was really disgusting. But that was the worst of it for now. If he was in pain they just gave him pain relief and it went away. It made him tired and slightly dizzy though.

It was really boring at the hospital though. Harvey was with him a lot and also Donna. Louis had come and visited him for almost an entire day. At first he thought it was going to be awkward with Louis there, but it wasn't. As it turned out Louis was pretty great company. Mike was surprised. They talked, watched TV and played cards.

While Louis was there Mike had been forced to undergo a rather painful test. He was tired and sore and didn't want to do it at all. But since Louis was there he didn't protest. However when they started he felt those bad emotions start to come over him, and he wished for Harvey. It was weird that he did that, but it just happened. Harvey meant safety for him now. Harvey would fight for him, so he didn't have to do it himself.

But now Harvey wasn't there. Only Louis and Mike felt tears rise in his eyes. Damn it! Louis was going to laugh at him. His mind twisted between wanting Louis to leave and wanting Louis to comfort him. Wow, he never in a millions years thought that he would ever wish for that. But now he did.

"Are you…okay?" Louis asked him. He was seated in a chair across from Mike, who was turned on his side. Mike closed his eyes and didn't respond. He started to breathe more heavily.

"Mike, you need to calm down and try and stay still. It's almost over." A nurse said. It was true and they were done a few minutes later. It left him upset and sore though. It was like a dam had been opened and he knew that it was impossible to close it without letting some of the water out.

Louis and Mike were left alone and the nurse quietly closed the door behind her. Mike did his best to try and close the dam. It didn't work and suddenly a sob erupted from him. Mostly it made him angry at himself. What the hell was he doing? Why was he acting like this? He just didn't know. And the effort it took him to try and hold it back was so exhausting. It stressed him out too, the effort of trying to hold it back, but also trying to figure out why it was happening and why he was feeling like that.

Louis must have seen it on him because he suddenly moved his chair closer to Mike's bed.

"Mike?" he asked.

"Yeah…"

"You are doing okay." Louis said. "You are doing okay."

Then he just sat there while Mike hid his face behind his arm while he tried to calm down. He could feel himself getting tired. He knew that he was going to pass out soon, even though he didn't want to. He wanted to stay awake, because the fear of being left alone returned with full force. He was just afraid that if he fell asleep while he had a visitor they would get bored and leave while he slept. Then he would wake up and no one would be there. It was irrational to be afraid of that, but he was. He had come to the conclusion that a part of that fear was that he was afraid that something would happen to him and he would die because no one would be there to see it. After all his heart had stopped once already and then he had been lucky that Harvey and Donna had been there and saved him.

The fear made things to him. Things that he didn't like. It changed him. It felt like it changed the person that he was. It made him weak. Made him behave like a child and have needs for comfort like a child. He had that now.

He opened his eyes and removed his hands from his face. Louis smiled a little at him and Mike bit his lip. He didn't know what to say, how to start.

"Are you in pain?" Louis asked him and looked concerned. Mike shook his head. He knew that he must look terrible because Louis expression didn't change.

"I…I'm…I'm tired." Mike finished lamely.

"Yeah, well then, go to sleep." Louis said.

Mike bit his lip again. He wanted to beg for Louis to stay, but he couldn't. He blinked furiously to get rid of the tears, even though he knew Louis had already seen it. Great. Now he felt pathetic. He was just worthless. Louis would probably laugh at him as soon as he left the room.

"Hey Mike, what's wrong? Are you sure you are not in pain?"

"No, I'm fine." He managed to say. Louis nodded a bit and tried to catch his eye but Mike looked away.

"Just go to sleep Mike. You will feel better when you wake up."

If he slept he would have to feel. But what if something happened?

"If you leave, would you wake me up?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure. But I don't have anywhere else to be today." Louis said, but Mike had a hard time believing that he didn't have like a hundred better things to do than to just sit here and watch Mike sleep.

"You have to."

"Have to what? Wake you up?"

"Yes." His voice almost broke and he didn't know what to do with himself. He was so close to breaking down. Louis seemed to notice.

"I will Mike. I will. Just relax."

"It's not cool if you don't." He said. He didn't want to beg.

Louis shook his head. "I won't." He said. Mike still wasn't convinced. He didn't know what to do now. He wanted to sleep to just get away, but on the other hand he didn't want to wake up alone. He didn't know if he could trust Louis or not. What if he just left?

"I promise I won't leave you." Louis said then and when Mike looked up into his eyes he felt a bit better. Louis promised. He nodded and closed his eyes.

Louis was still there when he woke up again three hours later by a nurse who wanted a blood sample. Harvey was sitting next to him.

– SUITS –

Harvey opened the door to Mike's hospital room carefully. He had texted Louis when he was done with his meeting and had gotten the answer telling him that Mike was asleep. He still was when he stepped inside the room. He looked rather peaceful. Better than Louis actually. Louis looked shaken up. Harvey greeted him.

"Hey." At the sound of Harvey's voice Louis jerked in his chair as if he hadn't noticed that Harvey had entered the room.

"Oh, hey."

Harvey quietly brought up a chair next to Louis and sat down.

"How is he?"

"He has been fine." Louis said. "He had some test earlier and after that he…"Louis paused and searched for words. "He got a bit worse. He was upset."

"He seems fine now. You can leave if you want Louis. I got it now."

"Actually Harvey, I'd like to stay until he wakes up again."

"That might be hours Louis."

"I know." Louis said and didn't move from his spot. After some time where had been sitting there in silenced Louis spoke again.

"I promised him to be here when he woke up again. I intend to keep that promise."

"Good. I'm sure he appreciates that."

"Yeah."

They sat there in silence for a while.

"Thank you for coming to stay with him today Louis." Harvey said then. "I appreciate it."

"No problem, Harvey. I don't mind helping out. All you need to do is ask."

Harvey nodded but didn't say anything.

"We had a nice day, up until an hour ago." Louis said then.

"What happened?"

Louis told him and Harvey could tell that it bothered Louis more than he let on.

"Look Louis, it's not you. He is like that with me as well, although I think it's getting a bit better between us. He's just having a hard time dealing with all of this."

"You can't blame him though." Louis quietly said, not taking his eyes of Mike.

"No."

Mike was woken up a while later and was doing better again. He just held out his arm for the nurse but didn't look at what she was doing. Neither did Harvey or Louis.

Mike thanked Louis for staying when they were left alone again. Louis told him that of course he had been staying, he had told Mike that he would.

"Still…thank you." Mike had said. "I didn't know if you would."

Louis took Mike's hand in his and squeezed it. Mike looked so surprised that Harvey had to let out a chuckle. He was definitely going to ask Louis to come back. Only Mike's expression made it worth it. But honestly Louis did surprise Harvey as well, even though it probably shouldn't have. Louis was a good man after all, just impulsive and sometimes made decisions without thinking them all the way through. But when it came to it, you could count on him. Harvey would have to do that more now.

Truth was that he did need help with Mike now. He couldn't be by his side at all times. He had talked about that with Mike, and Mike had said that it was okay.

"I understand that Harvey. You can't be here all the time. I might wish you were, but I get that you can't." Mike truthfully had told him.

Donna had suggested that they made a schedule for who came and sat with Mike, but Harvey had declined. He thought it better if they just did it as it happened. He didn't want a schedule to decide when he should see Mike and when someone else would be there. But they had agreed on that someone should be with Mike as much as possible. The kid was scared, that was for sure. It was understandable. Harvey was scared too. They all were. Mike's fear lessened if he had company, so that was easily fixed.

It had been decided that Mike was going to stay at the hospital until the operation. They had started to prepare him for it by change his medication and he wasn't given any blood-thinning medication. That meant he couldn't have ibuprofen or aspirin.

Mike wasn't happy about staying at the hospital, but seemed to have accepted it now. Sure he had bad moods and complained sometimes but who hadn't. About a week into Mike's stay he started to get worse. He woke up and was in pain one day and it didn't ease up. All he wanted to do was sleep.

Harvey arrived at the hospital pretty late that day. When he stepped into the hospital room Mike was sleeping. Mike didn't look that well. Actually he looked really bad, very ill. Donna had been staying the night with Mike and also the day while Harvey was at work. He was a bit surprised to see Mike now. Donna told him that Mike had gotten worse during the night. He had started coughing a few days ago and it just got worse after that. Some of the bouts he had left him breathless and clutching at his chest.

Donna had been exhausted with dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't slept much. Mike had been restless and upset, she told Harvey. He had only been sleeping for an hour or so at the time before the coughing woke him up again.

Mike's appearance shocked him a bit. It was hard to take in sometime that this really was happening. That his associate was deadly ill. Mike's skin had taken on an almost grayish color and he was equipped with a nasal cannula and had IV:s connected to both of his arms. The usual wires connecting him to the heart monitor were there as well. All of the medical equipment enhanced the image that Mike really was sick.

Harvey took his usual seat next to the bed and put a few files on Mike's night stand, on top of the iPad he had gotten Mike. He might as well do some good while he just waited.

"Hi." Mike's voice startled him an hour or so later. He put down the files.

"Hi yourself. You good?"

"You know, you should just stop asking me that. Do I look good?" Mike smirked. He was apparently in a pretty good mood.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"I guess not. What are you working on?"

They spent some time discussing the case Harvey was working on, before Mike got tired again and announced that he was going to take a nap. He did and woke up in pain two hours later. His body was tense and he was quiet.

"It's okay Mike. It'll pass." Harvey told him as they waited for a nurse to come. When she did she got Mike's doctor to come and he listened to Mike's heart. He then wanted to talk to Harvey outside. It wasn't good news of course. The medical professional wasn't happy with how Mike's heart sounded and they were going to monitor him more closely from now on. Harvey felt a knot tie in his stomach at those words. When he heard those words he looked over towards Mike and happened to meet his eyes. He forced himself to smile at the kid, but was pretty sure Mike saw through it. However Mike didn't ask him anything about it.

Harvey didn't like the fact that Mike seemed even worse the next day. Mike had been away for some test and when he came back he was shaking.

"You alright? What happened?" Harvey asked him and stood up to meet him. He helped getting Mike back into bed.

"I'm good." Mike tried. "I'm just cold." He added when Harvey raised an eyebrow at him.

Harvey stopped turned to the nurse next to them and demanded she bring them some more blankets. Mike's eyes were only opened to slits, but Harvey thought he was smiling.

The two extra blankets didn't help and Mike was miserable. Harvey could practically feel it radiate of him. He sighed in sympathy and frustration over not being able to do more. He did try though, what more could he do.

As the operation grew nearer, it was set up for the next week, Harvey tried to talk about it with Mike. Mike wasn't that keen on doing so though. But eventually he opened up and expressed fear about going through it. Harvey couldn't blame him and tried to be as supportive as he could. The risks about the operation lingered in his thoughts though at every word of comfort he offered Mike.

"What if it doesn't work?" Mike questioned. "What if they don't get it all?"

"Then we will deal with it."

Mike seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then he looked over at Harvey and sat up a bit on his bed.

"You will be here right?" He asked.

Harvey rolled his eyes at him. "Do you even have to ask?" He said.

"Thanks Harvey."

"No need to thank me Mike. Remember when I said that we are a team and that we are doing this together?"

He waited until Mike nodded.

"I meant it."

– SUITS –

The day for the operation only crept nearer. Mike didn't look forward to it at all. He was counting the days now. He felt like he should prepare somehow but he didn't know how. He had yet again been offered to speak to therapist but had declined. What would he say to a shrink? It just felt weird. Both Donna and Harvey had thought that he should go.

"At least give it a try. You don't know if it will help or not if you don't try." Donna told him.

"But how would it help me? I should just pour out my feelings and they will tell me what it means and everything will be fine?"

"You might feel better Mike. That's how it might help." Harvey said.

He had promised them that he would think about it, but didn't bring it about again after that. He didn't want to. He was thankful for Harvey and Donna because they also left it alone. They were spending a lot of time with him now. It was nice. Donna fussed over him more than ever and Harvey was there every night. It was reassuring. He actually loved it. These people really were his family now.

It was only two days left now and he was staring to get really nervous. He spoke to Harvey about it eventually and felt a bit better after that. His doctor and one of the surgeons that was going to perform the operation came by and spoke to him when it was only one day left. They told him all about the procedure and about the risks. He got to ask all the questions he wanted. Harvey was there as well and asked stuff that Mike didn't think about. It felt like the meeting took hours and hours and he felt almost feverish when all the questions were answered. The last half an hour they all came from Harvey.

The operation was going to take between four and six hours. He was going to be given general anesthesia and they assured him that he would be pain-free and asleep during the whole thing. After that they would make an eight to ten inch cut in his chest, and cut through his breastbone to expose his heart. Once the heart was visible they would connect him to a heart-lung bypass machine. That machine would move the blood away from his heart so that the surgeon would be able to operate. After that they would start to work on removing the cancer cells. When they were done they would close his breastbone again with some type of wire that they would leave inside of him, which to Mike sounded wrong. But it was finished after that, they would only stich him up. He was told that he would spend at least one night at the ICU before they would move him back to his regular room.

That would be all. That was how it was supposed to happen. They were going to cut into his heart. There were tons of risks involving that. Mike wished he could have blocked some of them out, but they were now edged into his brain forever. The worst one was without a doubt death. He could die from it. Unfortunately they had told him, the risks for death were higher in people that were very sick prior to their heart surgery. They told him it wouldn't happen though, they were excellent at their job.

Other risk were that he could get a heart attack or a stroke. He did not want to have a stroke! What if he woke up and were paralyzed? That would be terrible. He could also get irregular heartbeats. That wouldn't be anything new though, he had had those. It was not pleasant.

Chest wound infections, lung or kidney failure, blood clots or blood loss, breathing difficulty, chest pains or trouble breathing were other complications that might happen. Another scary one was memory loss. He had never had that before and it scared him a lot. He would feel like he was brain damaged then.

Apparently all the risks were higher if you were sick prior to the operation. It annoyed Mike to hear that, it wasn't like he could do anything about that now.

After the doctors and surgeons left he had about an hour alone with Harvey before a couple of nurses came to his room to help him to wash up. Harvey waited outside while they washed him with some kind of special soap that were used to kill bacteria on his skin and were supposed to lessen the chance of infection after surgery.

Harvey came back again when he was done.

"You look clean." He smirked. "You okay?" he asked then.

Mike sighed. "Yeah, I think so. It's a lot, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is Mike. But they seem capable."

"Yeah, hopefully he's not a fraud."

"That's not even funny."

Mike still laughed a little. "I think I'm going to be okay Harvey."

Harvey nodded. "Sure you will." He said and sat down. "You want to watch TV?" He asked when Mike didn't say anything else.

They did just that for the rest of the night. Donna and Rachel came over for dinner. He wasn't allowed to eat anything after. The four of them had a pretty nice evening. However he fell asleep with all of them there which was a bit embarrassing. He woke up after midnight and drunkenly asked Harvey where Rachel was.

"She left three hours ago, you idiot. They will stop by tomorrow though, before."

Mike was satisfied with that and fell asleep again.

When he woke up he wished that the operation was right now, and not at one a clock. That was hours and hours of waiting and he didn't feel up for that. He wanted it over with now, because he was panicking. He was starting to get really freaked out. Really scared. He was afraid. What if it wouldn't work? What if he would die today?

The fact that he wasn't allowed to eat anything didn't help his mood. Not that he ever was hungry, but he could have eaten something today. His nurse apologized that the operation was scheduled for so late. They were normally earlier. He was on an IV, so it wasn't so bad but still. Just because he wasn't allowed he was feeling hungry.

"Mike, calm down." Harvey told him, when he shifted on the bed for the seventeenth time. "I get that you are nervous. Donna will be here soon. Louis and Jessica are coming as well."

"What? They want to see me one last time? In case I die?"

"No." Harvey patiently said. "They want to come and wish you good luck."

"I thought I didn't need good luck. You said that it is going to be fine."

"Just be nice to them." Harvey sighed.

"Fine." Mike pouted. He wished he could get out of bed. He didn't feel all that bad now, but Harvey wouldn't let him leave the room. "You will trip and break your legs or something and then you will have to have more surgeries." He said.

It was a bit awkward when the others came. He didn't really know what to say to them. They didn't stay that long. Rachel looked like she was about to cry all the time and it made him uncomfortable, and he felt like crying himself then. Did they think that they were saying good bye to him? Rachel did hug him for a long time and kissed his cheek.

"See you after Mike. I'll wait for you."

He nodded. "See you later."

Jessica shook his hand and wished him good luck and Louis looked at him weirdly and then hugged him! Almost longer than Rachel had. Oh god.

Donna was good at hiding if she was upset or not. In fact her good luck wishes were warm and sincere, and he believed her for a moment, when she said that he was going to be fine. "They will get it all. You will came out of there and beat this." She said.

After that Donna left a nurse came and told him that it was almost time. They prepared him a bit and then the nurse left. That's when it hit him with full force. Something happened in him as soon as she closed the door behind her. He felt himself tense, and his eyes widen. It was really happening. In less than an hour he would be cut open. He didn't want to. He didn't want to do this anymore.

"I don't want to do it." He said to Harvey that was still in the room with him. He immediately put his phone away that he discreetly had been looking at from the corner of the room while Mike had his other visitors there.

"Mike." He said as he came up to him. "You know you have to."

"But I don't want to do it anymore." He felt like a four year old, but didn't care. He didn't want to die!

Harvey nodded a little. "And what will happen if you don't do it?" He asked then.

Mike felt like crying. Harvey was right. Same fate waited for him if he didn't do it. Except then it would be for sure. He nodded. "Okay." He said.

Harvey sat down next to him on the edge of his bed. "It's okay to be scared Mike. I know I am." He said quietly.

"Okay." Mike said again and inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm himself down a bit. Harvey sat there after that and spoke quietly to him. He was starting to relax some. Everything was going to be okay if Harvey was there. He could feel the weight of the older man forcing the mattress down a bit. He could feel the warmth from Harvey against his leg. It grounded him. At this moment everything was okay. Harvey was there. Nothing was going to happen then. Harvey had said so before. Harvey would help him. Mike needed help now. He needed reassurance.

He was barely aware of the nurses that came into the room and said that they were ready for him. What he did notice was that Harvey got up from the edge of the bed, and he didn't know what he had done wrong. Mike didn't understand why Harvey was leaving. He didn't want him to leave! He couldn't leave! It was all the occupied his entire being, the thought of being alone, without Harvey.

"No, no, no, no Harvey please don't go."

"Mike…"

"No don't go! I need you here."

Harvey sat down again and waved a little at the nurses. He took Mike's hand in his and Mike latched on for all he was worth. Maybe if he just held on hard enough he wouldn't go? If he just would stay, everything would be alright. He wouldn't have to think about all the bad things that lay ahead. If Harvey just stayed his panic wouldn't erupt, and it wouldn't be unbearable. If Harvey stayed he could keep it together. That hole he had in his chest wouldn't grow. He held Harvey's hand as hard as he could. He thought that Harvey was squeezing back a bit. His other hand was on Mike's as well.

"Please, please stay… Don't go…I'll do anything you want." He whispered. "Anything. Don't leave yet."

He was aware of the fact that it probably wasn't anything he could do that Harvey would want, but he had to try everything he had at the moment.

"Mike, come on! Stop." Harvey said slowly.

"Okay." Mike stuttered out. He couldn't make Harvey mad. He released his grip on Harvey's hand in case the other man wanted to let go.

"Mike, come on, don't do this now."

"But I don't know what I did… I don't know, Harvey. Please…"

"But Mike, you didn't do anything. It's okay. It's okay. You did nothing wrong. It'll be okay."

Harvey let go of his hand.

"But I don't understand…" He had to try to, if Harvey would just explain. Then he would be able to do something.

"What doesn't you understand?" Harvey was still there.

"Why you're leaving." He tried to wipe the tears out of his eyes. His view of Harvey was getting blurry. "What did I do wrong?" He just had to know. If he knew maybe he would be able to avoid it in the future too. It seemed as it was too late now. "If you just tell me…" He sounded pathetic, he knew that. But he just felt so shity at the moment. He was so scared of what was coming.

"Mike, listen to me. You haven't done anything wrong, okay? Nothing. And you don't have to do anything."

"But…but…" He had to paus to cough. Not that he knew what he was going to say anyway.

"Mike, stop and think for a moment will you?" Harvey kindly said. "I have to go now. I can't go with you. But I'm going to wait for you until you are done. I'll be with you as soon as I can. I promise you."

"But I'm afraid." Mike whispered. It felt like the room was spinning, like he was going to fall out of bed.

"I know kid. I know. But don't be. You will get through it. I'm proud of you."

Harvey took his hand again. "Do you understand?" He asked and they locked eyes. Harvey looked calm and kind. And Mike did understand. He wiped his eyes again and nodded. He drew a few breaths and nodded again. He was ready. As ready as he would be at least. It wouldn't get better than this. He needed to do this, and Harvey had his back. Harvey was proud of him! The others were waiting for him as well. He could do it. He let go of Harvey's hand.

"Okay." He said. Aimed at both Harvey and the nurse next to him. They started to roll his bed towards the door. Harvey came with them out in the hallway, but was forced to stop a while later. He couldn't follow them any longer. Harvey smiled and nodded at him and Mike smiled back. He could do it.

He wasn't that aware of what happened after that. He came into the operation room and was introduced to a bunch of people that would assist with his operation. He didn't say much and tried not to think to much either. When a mask was put over his face he closed his eyes and hoped that he would open them again.

– SUITS –

Harvey took a seat next to Donna in the waiting room. Louis and Rachel were there as well. Jessica had said that she would be back later.

Harvey had a hard time believing that it had come to this. Of course he knew that it was happening, but still, Mike was having heart surgery at this moment.

He had spent the whole morning with Mike. They hadn't talked much before Mike had freaked out and said that he didn't want to do the operation. Harvey had dreaded that, and what he would tell Mike, but it had worked out fine. Apparently he had said the right things because Mike had calmed down. All they had to do now was wait.

The risk involving the operation were huge. There was a chance that Mike wouldn't make it out of there. It scared Harvey. It scared him that Mike had to undergo open heart surgery and that changes were huge that something might happen during it or because of it. But there were also the chance that Mike still wouldn't make it. Oh god, he did not want to think about this. It was just so hard not to. Mike had been so scared too. It had pained him immensely to tell the kid that he couldn't go with him and that Mike had to do this alone. But as soon as he could he would be by the kid's side. Because Mike was going to be fine.

There they all were now, waiting. Donna and Harvey had been there the entire day of course, but it was great to see the others there for Mike as well. They had all gotten to see Mike before he went into the surgery. As it was now, Rachel was crying quietly, silent tears dripping from her eyes. Donna had an arm around her shoulders. Louis was staring at the floor, oblivious of everything else going on around him.

Harvey felt kind of numb.

To just sit there and wait for four to six hours was exhausting. After two hours they went to get something to eat after making sure that they would be called if something happened. No one spoke much and that was fine with Harvey. It felt good to have them there though. It would have been much worse if he was alone.

It took five and a half hour, Mike's operation. As soon as Harvey saw the surgeon walking towards him he knew that it was about Mike. He stood up. The surgeon stopped in front of them all and then he smiled and it felt like stones were lifted from Harvey's chest. Thank god for that smile.

"I would like to tell you that Mike made it out of the surgery without any major complications." The surgeon said. "As we speak he is being transferred to the ICU where he will remain for at least 24 hours."

"And how did it go?" Harvey asked.

The surgeon wasn't smiling anymore.

– SUITS –

Sorry for the cliff-hanger :) I can't believe this is chapter 40. That's crazy. I didn't expect this story to get that long. Good job of getting through them all :) What did you think of this chapter? I thought it was a bit hard to write. I don't know anything about the medical stuff, but did some research. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I really like to hear from you. I'll try to not take too long with the next chapter.